The Peng Challenge Thread Rulz

[Joe Shaw]

Harken back my children, to the olden days, when Knights were Knights and SSNs knew their place ... an oldie ... but a goodie (with apolgies and stoopid mad props to TheOnion.com):

Tha CessPool Rulz

Whassup, G's. Yo, check this out: Ever since we be testifyin' about how we be tha

Stone-Cold Hardcore Mack Daddies of tha Combat Mission BBS, all y'all wanna be part of the CessPool posse. Well you ain't gonna be part of the posse, you wastin' our time, you no-skeelz-havin' loosas. So you best step on off, before we beats down yo' sorry butt.

'Cause see if you wanna run with tha 'poolies, you gots to have skeelz, know what I'm

sayin'? You gots to EXECUTE. Tha poolies, they be all these things, they 'bout it 'bout it,

mah homey. Sheeooot, when we talkin' bout skeelz we don't mean no skeelz at CM, tha's

punk. You got's to taunt, you got's to talk some smack on account o' that's all we cares

'bout. We plays CM sos we can do all that.

Y'all ever be comin' 'round the Mutha Beautiful Thread, wantin' to be down with

P-Dog and tha CessPool posse, not only do you gots to be a playa, you can't be frontin'

neither, pretendin' you gots basic tauntin' skeelz when you don't. Know what I'm sayin'?

It ain't just about bein' a supastar and gettin' tha mad props and tha dope posts them be

making. It be about skeelz. It be about HONOR.

We gotta give stoopid mad props to the CessPool posse. Ain't nobody can buy that kinda

loyalty, 'specially not them no-game loosas ova on tha outaboard. All they gots to talk

'bout is some stoopid grog stuff 'bout armor and squads and running MGs, an' everybody

knows they just be desperate loosas who'll do anythin to see they name on tha board.

Fo-get that!

We be doin' what we always do, defendin' our turf, lookin' out foe our krew. One thing you learn when you tha Peng Challenge Thread, you gots to attend to yo bidness, 24/7. We BE tha Stone Cold Baadness, The Original Gangstas, The Mack Daddies, The Freaky Gangbangas. And we got somethin' to say to all y'all scum sucking newbies (SSNs) out there: Keep yo' stopid smilies and motherlovin' please and thank you outa our pool, or we'll mess your sorry butt up wit' a quickness. You gots to sound off like you gots a pair, know what I'm saying? And I don't want to see y'all comin' around, talking 'BOUT your pair, neither. You gots to keep yo head outta stuff like politics and ain't no WAY you gonna be puttin' some homey down fer his origin or religion, or y'all best sleep wit' one eye open, sucka, 'cuz then you be on our list.

If you gonna be here, you best be up for challenging somebody or you wastin' our time

AGAIN and we be knowing you ain't no playa but you jist a sorry old SSN. And if you

gonna be challenging, you best 'member that you ain't nothin' but a Scum Sucking Newbie and don't be challenging some Knight or something. You be findin' another SSN to challenge, sucka, or we be going Jet Li on your sorry butt. We gots our rights sucka, and we gots a right to know where you from and what your freaking email be too or ain’t no way you gonna get a game wit us so you best be putting that stuff down in your profile or we be knowing you just some punk loosa who be slumming’.

We just trying to keep it real, know what we sayin'? We wanna stop the violence before it

starts. We could say nothin' and wait in the shadows like some stoopid bad ninja, and

when some punk SSN come along and start acting like he all bad at CM, we could jump

out and knock the sucka's teeth freakin' out. 'Cause that would be our right. We gotta

protect what's ours, right?

So if you gots a brain in yo head, sucka ... you best SOD OFF wit a quickness!

Joe

[Joe Shaw]

And in Unfinished Business from the prior incarnation, we have Ma's Stove claiming:

But...but...I've got my addy and general location (Minnesota) in my profile. What do I have to do to make them visibile to everyone? One of the Austrailians sent me a setup, so *he* could see my email...do Austrailians have some special ability in this area?

Please let me know if my stuff still isn't showing up, and if so what I need to do to change it. Looking at the "edit profile" page I've got all the switches set to public, so y'all should be able to see my info (there's a thought to give a body sleepless nights, but oh well...)

For the record, when Papa Khan and I get together the only music is the sound of my retching at the sight of his "God's cruel joke" face.

Come now Ma's Stove, no need to dissemble lad. Step up like a man ... well like as much of a man as anyone from ManySoda can I suppose.

Facts are facts lad and I hereby swear upon a stack of infantry counters from Squad Leader (before it got goofy with all the rules and variants ... yeah, the Old Testament) that neither your location NOR your email were in your profile. You went in, in a vain attempt to make me look bad, and ADDED them both AFTER I pointed out the error.

No shame there lad, many here would preserve their annoymn ... annomit ... identities by not showing such. But here in the CessPool all are equal ... well if you grant that SSNs such as yourself are less equal ... far less equal ... okay not at ALL equal to the inhabitants of the CessPool. But the RULES are the rules and nothing less than that.

I caught you out, you fixed the problem and now we can just move along. I am a big enough man to forgive you for your lame, ignoble and foredoomed to failure attempt. You must know now, if you did not before, that you simply do NOT cross swords with the Justicar for Life of the Peng Challenge Thread.

I'll be accepting your abject and heartfelt apology when tendered ... cause that's the kind of man I am.

Joe

[Michael Emrys]

Sheriff Joe Bob, you forgot to mention that he'll also be required to mop all the floors and carry out the garbage.

Michael

[Seanachai]

Man, Janice Ian. There was something wrong with that woman...

[Marstov]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

And in Unfinished Business from the prior incarnation, we have Ma's Stove claiming:

I caught you out, you fixed the problem and now we can just move along. I am a big enough man to forgive you for your lame, ignoble and foredoomed to failure attempt. You must know now, if you did not before, that you simply do NOT cross swords with the Justicar for Life of the Peng Challenge Thread.

I'll be accepting your abject and heartfelt apology when tendered ... cause that's the kind of man I am.

Joe

I'd apologize, but in your senile dementia you'd probably think it was some sort of insult and try and ban me again. You're probably reading this delicately and tactfully worded missive as some sort of personal abuse, aren't you? Sigh. There's nothing you can do with old people. Except maybe leave them outside at night during winter. And people say Minnesota weather is all bad...

[Seanachai]

I propose Marstov for serf...

Hey, he made Dalem dig holes all day after I made sure that Dalem stayed up until 8 AM. You gotta love that sort of cruelty...

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

I'll be accepting your heart when tendered ...

Would you accept it marinated?

[Speedy]

This has to be the worst thread title I have seen, you've out done yourself Joe

[stikkypixie]

Oh I get it...

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by stikkypixie:

Oh I get it...

Good for you...now why don't you run along and participate in the world's largest pillow fight or something.

[Speedy]

Originally posted by Nidan1:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by stikkypixie:

Oh I get it...

Good for you...now why don't you run along and participate in the world's largest pillow fight or something. </font>

[Boo Radley]

Really, really , really hate the "rulz" of this incarnation. But that's because I'm part Swiss and it's genetically impossible for me to Rap.

Much like it's genetically impossible for most of you louts to breed with humans.

Joe, never, ever do Rap again, or I shall be forced to put a big old hurt on you. I'll have dalem stop over and explain why Bush's plan for Social Security is the bestest plan in the whole wide world.

And I'll tell him to bring his pie charts.

[Speedy]

You actually read the rules??

What kind of weirdo reads the rules??

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Speedy:

You actually read the rules??

What kind of weirdo reads the rules??

Where in my post does it say I read the rules?

I don't have to read them to know that I hate them.

Just like I don't really need to meet any of you limp todgers to know that I hate you too.

You must not be drunk enough to see reason yet.

[Lars]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

I propose Marstov for serf...

Hey, he made Dalem dig holes all day after I made sure that Dalem stayed up until 8 AM. You gotta love that sort of cruelty...

No, no, no.

The bestest part is he'll make him fill them all back in tomorrow.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

I propose Marstov for serf...

Hey, he made Dalem dig holes all day after I made sure that Dalem stayed up until 8 AM. You gotta love that sort of cruelty...

Serf huh ... {sigh} ... you know what that means don't you? I'll have to start spelling his name right. Granted Ma's Stove isn't all that great but the pickings are slim these days.

Oh all right ... Marstov (spelt but not bolded) is a Serf of the CessPool with First Rights of Refusal (not to mention First Rites, a.k.a. Prime Nochte) to Seanachai should the lad prove worthy of being taken to Squire.

And Seanachai lets not have any hasty Squiredoms established. The purpose of Serfdom, in addition to getting the pissbuckets trundled back and forth, is to JUDGE the lad and see if he's worthy. And frankly I've seen no one from ManySoda who is ... oh ... sorry ...

EDITED TO ADD: And he's on the webpage, mind you I didn't have a photo so I used the Moose. SERF Marstov (spelt but not bolded), send a photo posthaste, ASAP and Ipso Facto ... and bring that bucket here, I just finished my coffee.

Joe

p.s. Berli I don't care for marinated hearts myself, and I've never really understood why anyone would eat playing cards in the first place nor why one suit would be favored over another. Flavor issues I guess.

[ May 06, 2005, 07:01 AM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Michael Emrys]

...I'm part Swiss...

It's the holes, right?

I'll have dalem stop over and explain why Bush's plan for Social Security is the bestest plan in the whole wide world.

That's really cold, man.

And I'll tell him to bring his pie charts.

And that's really cold.

Michael

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

Really, really , really hate the "rulz" of this incarnation. But that's because I'm part Swiss and it's genetically impossible for me to Rap.

Much like it's genetically impossible for most of you louts to breed with humans.

Joe, never, ever do Rap again, or I shall be forced to put a big old hurt on you. I'll have dalem stop over and explain why Bush's plan for Social Security is the bestest plan in the whole wide world.

And I'll tell him to bring his pie charts.

I don't like rap either ... therefore you'll be happy to know that the Rulz were NOT in rap but were rather a take off on the classic Herbert Kornfeld, Accounts Receivable Supervisor for Midstate Office Supply as immortalized in the pages of The Onion.

You're such a dweeb ... that's why you failed as Junior Justicar Pro Tempore De Jure of the Peng Challenge Thread and why I was forced to take on the Probationary Junior Justicar Pro Tempore De Jure Trainee of the Peng Challenge Thread ... also a failure.

I think it's the power ... I'm the only one who's shown the steely determination and dedication to the CessPool that a member of the Justicariate must have. Spurning all bribes, sneering at all attempts to co-opt ... it's not easy you know ... well, no, YOU wouldn't know, that's why you failed.

Joe

[Lurkur]

Mr. Shaw,

I visited your MBT site and noticed that I was represented by a dead, severed moose head (as opposed to the kind that have been kept alive in a vat of nutrients). I was going to complain, but upon further investigation, have determined that the dead severed moose head is more photogenic than me.

Carry on.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Lurkur:

Mr. Shaw,

I visited your MBT site and noticed that I was represented by a dead, severed moose head (as opposed to the kind that have been kept alive in a vat of nutrients). I was going to complain, but upon further investigation, have determined that the dead severed moose head is more photogenic than me.

Carry on.

I felt it was an admirable and sometimes superior choice. However, I'm always willing to use a photo if you care to send one.

Joe

[dalem]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

Really, really , really hate the "rulz" of this incarnation. But that's because I'm part Swiss and it's genetically impossible for me to Rap.

Much like it's genetically impossible for most of you louts to breed with humans.

Joe, never, ever do Rap again, or I shall be forced to put a big old hurt on you. I'll have dalem stop over and explain why Bush's plan for Social Security is the bestest plan in the whole wide world.

And I'll tell him to bring his pie charts.

Mmmmmm, I like pie.

[stikkypixie]

Originally posted by Nidan1:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by stikkypixie:

Oh I get it...

Good for you...now why don't you run along and participate in the world's largest pillow fight or something. </font>

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by stikkypixie:

Oh I get it...

Yes you do... and not even penicillin will cure it

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

I don't like rap either ... therefore you'll be happy to know that the Rulz were NOT in rap but were rather a take off on the classic Herbert Kornfeld, Accounts Receivable Supervisor for Midstate Office Supply as immortalized in the pages of The Onion.

Leek grog.

You're such a dweeb ... that's why you failed as Junior Justicar Pro Tempore De Jure of the Peng Challenge Thread and why I was forced to take on the Probationary Junior Justicar Pro Tempore De Jure Trainee of the Peng Challenge Thread ... also a failure.

Sorry, but just as the sun rises in the east, water's wet (as are you) and there's no business like show business, you're wrong again. I didn't fail as JJPTDPCT. I quit. After several months I finally realized that there was only one thing worse than being someone like you and that was to be subordinate to someone like you.

Watching you, day after day, buckle those gun belts on over your spindly shanks, just to have them drop to the floor, prematurely discharging your guns (which as I understand is just a mirror for other aspects of your life), became too much to have to witness.

In other words, I grew tired of you constantly shooting yourself in the foot.

I think it's the power ... I'm the only one who's shown the steely determination and dedication to the CessPool that a member of the Justicariate must have. Spurning all bribes, sneering at all attempts to co-opt ... it's not easy you know ... well, no, YOU wouldn't know, that's why you failed.

Joe

I took no bribes while you were gone. Even the very tempting ones to put ground glass in your Ovaltine. And you could always be sure that when you returned, the MBT was in the exact same shape as it was when you left.

But that's not my fault, either.

[Egbert]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

(respectfully snipped)....and I've never really understood why anyone would eat playing cards in the first place nor why one suit would be favored over another. Flavor issues I guess.

It's the dye, it's been banned. Since the crowd here have learned all their logic through Monty Python, we shall discover the reason thusly:

Banned therefore poisonous.

Poisonous therefore improper to imbibe in large quantities.

Improper in large quantities therefore an intoxicant.

Marinated hearts - banned red dye - poisonous - large quantities - intoxocant - booze.