Berlichtingen Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: Now, let's get behind this very reasonable and well-thought out proposal to have all future 'defeators of Seanachai' marked with The Asterisk of Shame, and put some solid meaning back into the whole process of shame. Support me in this. After all, I know where all of you live, your phone numbers, and I just bought a new bottle of Irish whisky. Now that is a splendid idea! Why that would mean everyone would have astrisks! Asterisks everywhere! Double asterisks for those that instinctively know what three words go in front of 'Oi, Oi, Oi' or know what sort of dog Seanachai should have up him. Ya know, Seanachai, I would probably like you if you weren't such a pig ingnorant, destestable git 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 Okay, so tonight I get home, throw some cold pizza in the oven to heat up, go for the potholders, and see a drawer full of mouse turds where none had been two nights ago. I immediately thought of y'all, and how much more pleasant it is to be surprised by a drawer full of mouse turds than it is to be surprised by your pathetic mewlings every time I click this thread. Of course, the mental segue from mouse turds to you lot is astonishingly easy. And yes, this weekend is "Trayler Dayz" or "Jailbait Jamboree", or whatever other silly name they have for the carnie-fest that is currently spinning spotlights on the clouds, blocking all the side streets, and filling the roads with staggering, sleeveless bumpkins no doubt looking for a car to puke behind. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 Originally posted by dalem: I immediately thought of y'all, and how much more pleasant it is to be surprised by a drawer full of mouse turds than it is to be surprised by your pathetic mewlings every time I click this thread.Just as well you never found a cowpat in the drawer then....you'd be overwhelmed by the emotion. Mace 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 Originally posted by Mace: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem: I immediately thought of y'all, and how much more pleasant it is to be surprised by a drawer full of mouse turds than it is to be surprised by your pathetic mewlings every time I click this thread.Just as well you never found a cowpat in the drawer then....you'd be overwhelmed by the emotion. Mace </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 You know it's just a damned shame is what it is. Here we have a potentially competent Knight (Lurker specificially, though the description could fit any number here) who has been RUINED by poor Liegeship. It took ONE post by me to him, just one, to show him the error of his ways and lead him to the path of righteousness. ONE post! Boo_Radley, as was clear from the start, just hasn't what it takes to nurture a Squire and make him the KNIGHT HE COULD BE. It's a shame the lads are wasted that way but you can't save the world I suppose so we'll just be saddled with mediocre Knights no better than their liege. Joe p.s. Fine job on the revised AAR lad, let's have some more heaving bosoms and trembling lips wet with desire ... but just on the lasses. I think Boo_Radley might be a bit too attracted to the stalwart German you were mentioning ... not that there's anything wrong with that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw: {Ahem} ... where was I ... Oh yeah, WHERE Boo? Joe There Boo. There Lurkur. Shaw, why are we talking like this? Is it a new directive from the Justicariate? </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: (Same old, same old nonsense <big>SNIPPED</BIG> because there comes a point where it's all just too embarrassing to be a witness to.) JoeWould someone please give Joe a shove (or perhaps a BOOT!), I think his needle's stuck in a groove again. Tell ya what Josephus, why don't you point to something your former squires have done so we all can use that as an example. Waddaya say to that? And I'm not talking about something that had to be hosed off the front porch, M'kay? Why, the silence is deafening. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 Originally posted by dalem: And yes, this weekend is "Trayler Dayz" or "Jailbait Jamboree", or whatever other silly name they have for the carnie-fest that is currently spinning spotlights on the clouds, blocking all the side streets, and filling the roads with staggering, sleeveless bumpkins no doubt looking for a car to puke behind. Tell all your family we said "Hi". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted June 28, 2003 Share Posted June 28, 2003 Life at the Front,or how SirReal learned the lesson of false Pride (cont.) The driving rain continues to fall, the rumbling of thunder punctuates the sound of the steady falling rain with startling regularity. The Landers grow nervous, the Hauptmann told them that the Ivans were in hot pursuit, why havent they shown themselves? The men of the battalion rearguard hunker down and scan the woods to their front. Suddenly the sound of incoming shells mixes with the natural rumbling of the thunderstorm, the Landsers steel themselves, but from experience they know that the rounds are falling far from their positions. Clouds of gray smoke blossom across the landscape, the Ivans are laying a rare smokescreen, usually they assault without them, they have learned during the years of deadly combat. Earthbrown figures appear, running from the woods towards the wheatfield. The Leutnant gives the order for the HMG to open fire. Ripping bursts of deadly fire streak out across the wheatfield, several distant figures fall, but now the smokescreen obscures all view. The Landsers wait....... [ June 28, 2003, 05:34 PM: Message edited by: Nidan1 ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 Ah, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, and once again, Joe. BOTH my former squires show their forte as story tellers. sniff... It does me proud. BTW, still waiting for something any of your former squires can do well. Other than scarper off, that is. And I'm talking legal stuff, you know? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 I'm too drunk for this **** right now. Seriously. Furst I drank some beer, then some booze, then some more beer, then a couple of glasses of water (smart move Lt!!) then anonter beer and then before leaving the club, anohter beer. SOoo...I think I'll leave y'all to it. Carry on. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 P.S. The girls in Sweden are the most gorgeous ones in the entire worldl. D.S. Love, Hrotlkund 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirReal Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund: P.S. The girls in Sweden are the most gorgeous ones in the entire worldl. D.S. Love, Hrotlkund Of course they are. But when they find out you can't operate a mail program, they'll laugh at you behind your back. Harder than they already do, I mean. Send me a turn! /SirReal 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 yes yes yes yes yes young one...you will get your turn soon. I am just in the process of teaching you the first lesson of all pbem-gaming...patience. Be not like the refreshing monkey hitting the send/recieve-button in his mail program once a minute. Yeay, because like a tiny bush in a forrest fire the refreshing monkey is, always stressed, always looking the other way... YES, Be not like the brush in a fire, be like the tree in a storm. Endure, young one, endure all the hardships with stoic endurance, smile at your empty mailbox, smile at the sky. Tonight I give you these words, tomorrow I will give you an email. MAYBE...I might have decided to move on to lesson #2 "How to handle frustration"...you shall see young one...you shall see... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 Oh God... my English when Im drunk is on level with the writings of the mad Pole. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 <big><big>DRUNKEN SWEDE ALERT! DRUNKEN SWEDE ALERT!*</big></big> (*This was only a test of your Drunken Swede Emergency Alert System. Had this been an actual Drunken Swede Alert, you would have been advised by radio stations in your area, to put out large quantities of meatballs and lutefisk. Thank you.) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 Ahem. Sun-dappled back yard requires more work to look nice I hate all of you Thank you, goodnight! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 Just a quick note: I b*tch-slapped Leeeeeo(in a minor way) on a map he devised that was supposed to be my downfall. yawn... He's such a grundoon. JDMorse and I b*tch-slapped each other to a draw in our little melee. But, seeing as he's the projenitor of our House and he's so old, I went easy on him. Malakovski and I also b*tch-slapped each other to a draw, although I was robbed, as at the end, I still had four functioning tanks and he didn't. Is it my fault he girlishly sent all his disenfranchised crewmen to hold a bunch of minor flags? Well, IS IT??? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 Grass grows very fast I just finished mowing it I hate you all too No Dalem, you cannot smoke the grass clippings. Persephone 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurkur Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 The continuing stooooooory of a hack who's gone to the dogs. Lurkur vs. SchlaMeel or "Waiting for Godot in Pinsk" What now indeed. The Soviet AT assets had rendered the halftracks completely useless, though at great cost to themselves. The Landsers had been chewed up pretty good getting this far. Still, there was plenty of fight in them, and von Lurkur decided to continue. He had the local mortars lay a path of smoke to take the destroyed building. The assaulting squads took harassing fire from a 120° arc, in spite of the enormous amount of suppression fire going out. The smoke screen was incomplete, and so casualties were heavier than expected. There had been three separate units in the offices as it collapsed, now there were two. The first two assaults were driven back. The third entered the building but was cut down by massed Russian fire, the forth held, and from that a wedge was tentatively driven into the soviet lines. It was one thing to get a foothold into the structure, and another to marginally secure it, and one enemy unit was unaccounted for. In the rough terrain, to the right of the shattered building, the Russians resisted heroically. Von Lurkur marveled that anyone there still lived, let alone returned fire. Finally one of the two squads broke, and the Germans gleefully peppered them with shot as they fled into the distant trees. Von Lurkur knew that the area wasn't secure yet, and was content to spend machine gun bullets to chase the remaining defenders off. The right flank developed into a stalemate. Losses mounted on both sides as nobody had suitable cover in the orchard or woods. Pelz recognized that the further he pushed in the more exposed his position became. He pulled back his troops to regroup them and await orders. Von Lurkur grimaced at the news. Pelz was a competent officer, and therefore there was no doubt in von Lurkur's mind that it was a prudent move. He scanned the area, and noted that the combination of long lines of sight and very little natural cover required more heavy support weapons. "A dim-witted child could lead the defenses of this place!' he spat. Unless one made progress at all points, any advance only increased the lead unit's vulnerability. As it was, the terrain, which had worked against the defenders early in the fight, was now bleeding him white. His HMG's were still in good shape and with a good amount of ammo between them, so he hardened his heart with a renewed grim determination that even if his troops proceeded no more, there were still Russians to kill. The defenses of the road into the collective and beyond were not fatally compromised, but it would be much easier to unhinge them with such a broad foothold on the heights. The attack was now 25 minutes old, and losing steam. still more... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirReal Posted June 29, 2003 Share Posted June 29, 2003 Originally posted by Lurkur: The continuing stooooooory of a hack who's gone to the dogs. Lurkur vs. SchlaMeel or "Waiting for Godot in Pinsk" Ho ho ho, hear little boy Slurper cry for mama! Run for home, you limp-wristed puckerfaced krauts! Your sausage isn't good enough to use for landfill, and your mothers are so ugly that they use dog intestines for makeup! /SirReal 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 Don't mind me. Just checking to see if my new signature works. Yep, it worked. Kitty 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirReal Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 And the battle is over, as both sides run low on ammo, Mj. SirReal and von Krapplur agree on a cease-fire. The verdict: A minor victory for the defending russians. The reasons: Casualties on both sides almost identical; 1016 pts to the russians, 1008 pts to the germans. Since the attackers probe just barely managed to secure one of the objectives (debatable, too, as I had troops in the building), the germans get 100 pts for that, and the russians 500 pts for holding the rest. What I could have done better: Assuming that the attacker would set up at his map edge turned out to be costly. Had I been more defensive in setting up my HMG:s and AT guns, they'd have lived longer. When realising he had been allowed to set up close, and just how much he had there, I should have ordered the spotter to fire smoke and tried to withdraw those MG's and guns, but I did not, and so lost 60% of my HMGs and 75% of my guns. What Lurkur could have done better: Taken more time. He had 40+ turns to advance, and yet the game ended on turn 26. Total distance he advanced? 150m. Also, his right flank effort got nowhere since there were too few to take the objective. I felt perhaps he could have used those men on the main objective. Also he mentions in the AAR that he put a lot into suppressive fire. That I never felt. Had he brought up all his HMGs and put them to suppression duty, and assaulted in force, I think he could have gotten much further. As it was, I cut down his squads one or two at a time as they tried to cross the 30m from the woods to the farmhouse. All in all, a nice game, with a brutal start, an interesting middle part, and a somewhat anticlimactic end. Inital Setup Map /SirReal 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 Here are some excerpts from an email sent to me by a Korean War veteran which you may or may not find amusing. I, myself, was quite amused. Instructions and Advise on weapons "A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." -Army's magazine of preventive maintenance. "Aim towards the Enemy." -Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. -U.S. Marine Corps "Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." -USAF Ammo Troop "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." -U.S. Air Force Manual "Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." -Gen. MacArthur "Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." -Infantry Journal "Five second fuses only last three seconds." -Infantry Journal "If your attack is going too well, your walking into an ambush." -Infantry Journal "No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection." -Joe Gay "Any ship can be a minesweeper... once." -Anon "Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." -Unknown Marine Recruit "Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." -Your Buddies "If you see a bomb technician running, follow him." -USAF Ammo Troop Kitty 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 Originally posted by Kitty: "Aim towards the Enemy." I think that's resolved a major problem some of our collegues seem to be having. btw isn't it once again time for you to brutally slaughter me? If so send a setup, your choice of settings. Mace 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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