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I tried to challenge Peng, but all I got was an indecent proposal...


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Another Minnesota Fishing Opener.

Rain, wind, cold, fish with lockjaw...

But it's beautiful out today.

Must be Monday.

Sigh...

SSN Hint Of The Day: Put a title like Doctor before your name when making reservations.

Now sod off.

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Originally posted by PondScum:

The worst, however, was yet to come. We staggered back to our hotel room, which naturally came with a well-stocked refrigerator full of hideously expensive spirits. No matter, when the big hand is after 12 convenience trumps cost. Until, that is, you read the hideous little notice on the 'fridge door. "By State Law, it is illegal to sell liquor between the hours of 1am and 8am. Therefore, this refrigerator will lock itself between those hours".

It is rare that you see a piece of idiocy like this. But then again, it is that black hole of intellectual development known as Pondscum, the first man to achieve a negative IQ.

Did it ever occur to you, Pondscum, you addlepated lackwit, that when you get a hotel room the electric is unlimited?

Prop the refrigerator door open, you prat!

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Speedbump conducted an inept probe in a hot, humid environment, culminating in a humiliating loss for him last night.

Oh yeah, in addition to the suffering his wife inflicted upon him for wasting her time, my green Russkis handed his Crack Huns a major defeat, too.

What a great twofer.

Steve

[ May 12, 2003, 10:53 AM: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

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Originally posted by Lars:

Did it ever occur to you, Pondscum, you addlepated lackwit, that when you get a hotel room the electric is unlimited?

Prop the refrigerator door open, you prat!

Odd. That's exactly what I thought when I read his post.

Pondscum, all real Minnesotans know that the first thing you do is prop open the fridge.

You're as thick as two short planks laid atop each other.

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

I am always with you all. You are never alone.

I'm thinking Footprints in the Sand, except one pair wanders off into the Ocean and nobody knows for sure if Gnomes can swim.

[ May 12, 2003, 12:55 PM: Message edited by: Jim Boggs ]

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

Those of us who are regular participants in this thread would be aware that the good Mr. Shaw is in California and will not be back until Tuesday.

I am always with you all. You are never alone. </font>
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Guest PondScum
Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Lars:

<font size=-1>Prop the refrigerator door open, you prat!</font>

<font size=-1>Odd. That's exactly what I thought when I read his post.

Pondscum, all real Minnesotans know that the first thing you do is prop open the fridge.

</font></font>

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Originally posted by PondScum:

It's a wonder that you guys ever make it from one winter to the next.

Not all of them do. Sad reality is that to make it through February, they gnaw the frozen carcasses of the less hardy. Generally this includes any transplants from more sane climatic regions that don't wise up before the onset of winter.
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Guest PondScum
Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund:

<font size=-1>In between laughing so hard I think I might have broken a rib, and twitching in pain identifying with the feeling of having so much booze so close yet so far away for such a ridiculous reason...one thought kept coming back to me.

What goes around comes around.

Consider that locked fridge as the poetic justice for your gamey flank shots on my KT's</font>

Ahhhh, Hortlund, Hortlund, ... your therapist is never going to be able to get you past that incident, is she? The childhood trauma, the teasing in school, the unsavory teenage habits... I can see a time when all those will be long since dealt with and she'll have checkmarks next to every one of your nasty little foibles listed on her clipboard. Everything except one. Highlighted, circled, in red. "SURRENDERED 30 SECONDS AFTER COMBAT STARTED".

Never mind. I hear there's always a chance that electroshock therapy will work.

In the meantime, enjoy the nightmares. And if the ribs still hurt when you breath, you could always try stopping.

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I had hoped that Boob Butt-face, no boldling till I measure his mettle, had forgotten my earlier appearance, would not remember the brief time I forgot my meds and wandered back to familar territory. The advantage age has is the ability to quite ignore the more unpleasant memories one has a tendency to acquire thru distasteful associations.

So now I must roll with the swine once again. Well imagine my pleasure. Peng, Seanachai, Berli, hell even Shaw-boy (shudder) I have fought them all and ripped their ears off. (Well not really the Gnomish one, but they were well masticated I assure you) But like a fading movie star, I find myself doing the equivalent of an infomercial with the evolutionary scion of my heraldic lineage. Oh well, I guess I will smile for the camera and pretend none of this is truly happening.

Somethings in breeding do show. Like his gamey tricks of making me attack across the CM equivalent of the Utah Salt Flats, and if he has anything more than a Kubelwagen I am true and royally screwed. Makes me mist up with pride.

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Originally posted by jdmorse:

Peng, Seanachai, Berli, hell even Shaw-boy (shudder) I have fought them all and ripped their ears off. (Well not really the Gnomish one, but they were well masticated I assure you)

All you've ever pulled with me is draws. Endless, endless draws.

Unless you're thinking of that abortion of Lawyer's that he set up to determine if artillery that was all but unsupported can stop an SS Panzer Division. The correct answer of course is 'no', at least in terms of stopping them from over-running a lightly held crossroads.

Lawyer's approach was that an early, primitive form of 'shock and awe' could stop innumerable Tigers and Panthers. It didn't matter, of course that the entire Allied holding force was crowded into one small area about the size of a dinner plate at the center of the West end of the map. The Germans could sit back at 1000 meters and trash the whole place with the assurance that even thrown stones were going to hit something and damage it.

Oddly enough, even JD was able to hit most of the fish in the barrel.

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Originally posted by jdmorse:

I had hoped that Boob Butt-face, no boldling till I measure his mettle, had forgotten my earlier appearance, would not remember the brief time I forgot my meds and wandered back to familar territory. The advantage age has is the ability to quite ignore the more unpleasant memories one has a tendency to acquire thru distasteful associations.

So now I must roll with the swine once again. Well imagine my pleasure. Peng, Seanachai, Berli, hell even Shaw-boy (shudder) I have fought them all and ripped their ears off. (Well not really the Gnomish one, but they were well masticated I assure you) But like a fading movie star, I find myself doing the equivalent of an infomercial with the evolutionary scion of my heraldic lineage. Oh well, I guess I will smile for the camera and pretend none of this is truly happening.

Somethings in breeding do show. Like his gamey tricks of making me attack across the CM equivalent of the Utah Salt Flats, and if he has anything more than a Kubelwagen I am true and royally screwed. Makes me mist up with pride.

The preceeding message was brought to you by the Vancouver Home For the Really Old and Annoying. The retirement community that cares, so you don't have to.

So, you got my set-up, Pops? That's just swell. Hopefully you'll even send a move back my way one of these days. That is if the nurses ever unstrap you from your bed long enough to shuffle over to the spittle covered computer down in the day room to myopically push keys with your gnarled hands until by some unbelievable happenchance of fate, you actually hit "SEND" and it makes it to my Inbox.

But then, I'll open it up and see the file is marked "JDvsMethuselah" and I'll just have to shake my head and think, "Just a little strychnine in his Jello. That's all I'm asking."

BTW, I saw your picture on Lorak's website. If you really look like that, you must have a portrait of yourself somewhere that just looks like hell.

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Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

. ...Hopefully you'll even send a move back my way one of these days. That is if the nurses ever unstrap you from your bed long enough to shuffle over to the spittle covered computer down in the day room to myopically push keys with your gnarled hands until by some unbelievable happenchance of fate, you actually hit "SEND" and it makes it to my Inbox.

You infantile vomit soaked waste of genetic material. Is the "Get mail" function challenging your addled and diminutive intellectual capabiliites again.

Pretty soon you'll be showing the propensitiy of Seanachi to realize that in the "There can only be One" contre-temps, that not so recent unpleasantness, he lost, lost, Lost and did I say LOST. And seekig to blame another brethern of the legal establishment too. Tsk, tsk. Can shifting calumny of fifth columnists on MrSpkr be far behind? (Damn, how did he manage to bribe the bar association?)

And finally a big shout out to my favorite neo-nephew Hiram (and most disturbed by the apparent gender elasticity he had been showing). Just heard he has migrated south to warmer lands. No doubt he'll be shifting his allegiances to the Atlanta Indians. Can you say Chop-chop.

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Originally posted by PondScum:

Ah yes, another bit of useless knowledge necessary for survival in Minnesota. "Don't build your dock where an ice sheet can sweep it away"... "Be wary of drunken gnomes staggering around downtown"... "As soon as you get to your hotel room, prop the refrigerator door open". It's a wonder that you guys ever make it from one winter to the next.

We chalk it up to the fact that in the winter you don't have to put your booze in the frig.

Summer is a little tougher on the natives.

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Originally posted by jdmorse:

And finally a big shout out to my favorite neo-nephew Hiram (and most disturbed by the apparent gender elasticity he had been showing). Just heard he has migrated south to warmer lands. No doubt he'll be shifting his allegiances to the Atlanta Indians. Can you say Chop-chop.

Wrong again, Uncle Windbag!! I know you've been around since they invented Baseball in this blessed country of ours (proud to be merkin!) but I need to point out how wrong you are once again.

Here in the 21st Century (two century since your nefarious lawyer self was ripped from the womb) we have the Cleveland Indians and the Atlanta braves. Neither team is as important and awe inspiring as the Philadelphia Phillies (spelt, bolded, and worshipped).

Regarding the supposed "gender elasticity", you crotchedy, liver spotted, feeble minded, old coot...I have been knee deep in nookie these past two weeks and have found my nirvana. Yes, I know that copulation is a faded memory of yours like the time when you could still see your feet without hearing the cracking and popping of your archaic joints.

Know that I am fetching a scenario from the Depot and will try once more to kick the walker out from underneath you. You still have my eternal disdain. Check your front lawn. Can you say flaming bag of Hiram droppings?

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