Go tell the Outerboards, Stranger,That Here Obedient to Their Laws We Challenged Peng

[stevetherat]

Ahh, wise words have been spoken here. Myself, I feel almost invigourated, like that slight tingle you feel when you take 16 paracetamol with diet coke.

It's good to know that lurking behind the curtains there are the 'old school' keen to give a reassuring shove in the back to get you past a rough patch. Or, as I look on them, gentle old folk that line up outside schools and lead the small children to their vans to see some puppies.

Even though 'they' have barely a word spoken in my direction, I take succor in the thought that there, omnipresence-like, they wait to place cussions before my fall. I hold a particular warmth for a once sparring partner (of words) jd. And Peng did once say that I was "coming along" or words of similar condescension.

Oh bollocks. Who am I trying to kid? Barely I word I submit is read by anyone here, and if it is, by boredom or lack only. Do I care? Absolutely not. It is my only vent to twisted connections inside that pulpy mass wrapped by my hair (though it is much shorter now and I am feeling the chill). Of course, I still get the rush when I'm quoted or responded to but, as a siding to the mainline of CM, it serves its purpose.

I'm tired (no, really, it's 12:45am) and I must paint my girlfriend's toe nails. It's pennance for daring to raise my voice against her.

See how stupid I am?

[jd]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by stevetherat:

I hold a particular warmth for a once sparring partner (of words) jd.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

A Mr. Rat you say? No, can't say as I recall him. Must be someone partcularly below notice or at least rememberance,

[MrSpkr]

Speedburper:

Although this setup appears to give me as much possibility for success as Bob Dole in a cheap Aussie whorehouse, I accept your challenge confident in the knowledge that you'll still screw it up.

Let me guess, you want ubertanks only so you won't have to worry about my infantry crossing 200m of open ground to destroy your tanks at extremely close range like I did last time? Well guess what, Mr. Smart Guy, my ubertanks can cross that same 200m of terrain and blow your brains out at close range.

My word, if its victory you are looking for, play Fillies finger - he lost 0-100. I suspect you might even score thirty points against him.

[ 05-31-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Wildman:

Unfortunately, since the Mad Bald One has halted the immediate assault of newbie by Bauhaus in his usual fashion there is no deterent to them crawling in through the cracks in the walls. Not even Roach killer can stop them.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I don't assault newbies......I have no idea where they've been and I really don't want to catch anything.

[Stalin's Organ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bauhaus:

I don't assault newbies......I have no idea where they've been and I really don't want to catch anything.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Quite true - I certainly don't feel assaulted, or even insulted.....presuming that I'm a newbie.

Rather I feel as if I've been tickled all over with a feather duster........highly appropriate from one who has chosen to name himself after a dusty and cob-web laiden relic of the Weimar Republic - a boxy, unimaginitive style which symbolses all that is putrid about peng.

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

a cheap Aussie whorehouse<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Funny how these keep showing up on your Visa statement.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Well guess what, Mr. Smart Guy<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Finally, someone who recognizes my native intelligence!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I can cross that same 200m of terrain and blow you<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Not sure what you are getting at here, but I am sure baushaus can help.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>if its victory you are looking for<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No, good sir, I am only looking for an interesting opportunity to grind you under my treads. Points mean nothing to me.

I should note here, that I called you a simian wannabe in my previous post. Some have wondered whether this means you are a simian who wishes to be, or simply a wannabe simian. While an elegant conundrum, I must make it clear I consider you below the "Homo Erectus" phylum (okay Bauhaus, three words to get worked up over!). In simple terms, Lucy held a place higher on the evolutionary ladder than you.

Why do I say this? Might it be that you are a Texan? Might it be because you are a Sooner Fan? Might it be because you have an unnatural prediliction for some road side weed called okra? Might it be because you are a discourteous, gamey, code-cracking bastiche? Yes, all of the above, and more.

You now have the opportunity to die-a-lot. Use it well!

Speedbump

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

screaming and clutching at their bottoms. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Obvious opportunity for gratuitious double entandre humour here.....

Come on you lack wit SSN's, take this ball and run with it!

Run free! Free as an earless Dalem prancing nakid through a meadow of elderberries, the soft summer wind gently warming the doughnut crumbs adourning his moustache.

Now that is true freedom, the freedom only a naked man in the wild can truly know.

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

Obvious opportunity for gratuitious double entandre humour here.....

Come on you lack wit SSN's, take this ball and run with it!

Run free! Free as an earless Dalem prancing nakid through a meadow of elderberries, the soft summer wind gently warming the doughnut crumbs adourning his moustache.

Now that is true freedom, the freedom only a naked man in the wild can truly know.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I tried to instruct the SSNs before, but alas they had not the wit to understand. And those aren't doughnut crumbs, me lad.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

Run free! Free as an earless Dalem prancing nakid through a meadow of elderberries, the soft summer wind gently warming the doughnut crumbs adourning his moustache.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I was halfway scoffing a sandwich when I read this, now suddenly I'm devoid of appetite, and the half-digested remains contained within my stomach are now attempting to escape through the nearest exit hole....thankyou for being so graphic.

As for all you sods expecting turns from me (and I realise that's quite a few of you, me being the cesspool slut who allways puts out whenever asked). You'll get them within the next 24 hours.

I'd process them sooner, but I detest and despise the lot of you, and if making you wait causes you lot angst, then it's a beautiful thing.

Mace

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by stevetherat:

Oh bollocks. Who am I trying to kid? Barely I word I submit is read by anyone here, and if it is, by boredom or lack only.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Wrong-o, rodent boy. A posting of yours in the last pool incarnation, which was in response to my list of faux victories, indicated that I was too scared or cowardly or quivering to have played you. In point of fact, I had not played you because I had not noticed your malodorous presence ... it being at times difficult to distinguish one stench from another in this place we call home. Someone with a record as execrable as mine does not kowtow to anyone, much less a creature with beady little eyes, whiskers and a hairless tail. So, clear the excrement off your eyelids, bottom dweller, and send me a setup.

[hellfish]

<snif, snif>

What is that HORRIBLE smell in here? Who are you people? What vile things are you doing to each other? I defile you in my mind!!

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Farting_sardine:

<snif, snif>

What is that HORRIBLE smell in here? Who are you people? What vile things are you doing to each other? I defile you in my mind!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Multiple choice?

I love a multiple choice!

The answers are, in order:

i) You;

ii) Your betters;

iii) Read the very first post in this thread; and

iv) Makes a change from the livestock you normally defile!

Oh and look, it's a veteran of the 60th Guards Motor Division! We can all hope you get posted to cyber-Chechnya only to die a heroic death in battle (mainly because that'd be the last we see of you).

Mace

[ 06-01-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]

[hellfish]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

Multiple choice?

I love a multiple choice!

The answers are, in order:

i) You;

ii) Your betters;

iii) Read the very first post in this thread; and

iv) Makes a change from the livestock you normally defile!

Oh and look, it's a veteran of the 60th Guards Motor Division! We can all hope you get posted to cyber-Chechnya only to die a heroic death in battle (mainly because that'd be the last we see of you).

Mace

[ 06-01-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I see. You ignorant whelp. I demand justice! I demand honor! I demand your bronzed testes on my mantle! I won't be satisfied until you are sucking for your very life from the great RED tit (yes, schmuck, pronounced TEET) of socialist inequality.

In short - I want a duel.

You shall be my new organ bank, you travesty of a joke of a man!

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by fytinghellfish:

I see. You ignorant whelp. I demand justice! I demand honor! I demand your bronzed testes on my mantle! I won't be satisfied until you are sucking for your very life from the great RED tit (yes, schmuck, pronounced TEET) of socialist inequality.

In short - I want a duel.

You shall be my new organ bank, you travesty of a joke of a man!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmm...

1) Picked out Mace

2) Not particularly clever

3) sounded of like he has a small pair

Looks like we have about a halfamoron here

[Stuka]

Well, this is a little more like it!

Flying Shell Fish has called out one of the weaker members 'Mace'....."check"

He appeeeears to have the rudimentary beginnings of 'a pair'......"check"

The taunt was simple, devoid of toilet humour or thingey references....."check"

When was the last time a little virgin wannabee knocked on our door in such a manner without falling headfirst into a vat of their own failing?

Macey old chap, kindly slap this upstart a 'new one' as it were.

*Punch* *wrestle* *grab*

Here you go FartingSnotFace, I've removed the low number service ticket from the foppish hand of Uncle joes johnson. You are now head of the que on the front porch.

Now close the door quietly....

Mace will be along shortly to deal with you.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

Macey old chap, kindly slap this upstart a 'new one' as it were.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I might just have a scenario here that might serve as a fitting introduction. Lemme know if you want it Mace.

Oh, and Flyingjellyfish, don't worry about that sheep costume Mace will have you wear... that's just tradition

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by fishmouth:

I demand honor! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

As you should!

Honor is obviously missing from your life!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I demand your bronzed testes on my mantle! I won't be satisfied until you are sucking for your very life from the great RED tit (yes, schmuck, pronounced TEET) of socialist inequality.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You want my Testes? You want me to suck tit?

Sorry, I'm here to play CM with intelligent opponents, not to cyber with some sardine!

Here's the deal, flatulent-house-fart, we have a fine *AHEM* selection of squires who's job is to separate the healthy sheep from the fly-blown flock.

Give them a hard time, play a game against them, and maybe Maybe I'll actually put aside some time to make your life by allowing you to play me!

Mace

PS Smuck is pronounced 'shhmuk', not teet!

[ 06-01-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]

[mensch]

So dawning a new age mensch who is frustrated by the crap some of the poolers have been spewing rummages through the kitchen and looks for a box of some sort to stand on, discusted not finding anything he visits the Cess's washroom and finds a perfectly unused soap box. Tossing the soap in the garbage (knowing it is never used) he drags his new found podium out to the garden and steps up giving a heart warming "wake up you sodding Kool Aid sniffers" speach.

mensch: When I was a lad this place had, pazazz! the air was smelly and not this new "cess smell in a spray can". And the light was different! not like this light we have now a days! it was newer and more golden in colour…

*at the distance, poolers come closer because mensch seems to have managed to get out of his cage and is blabbering something*

David Aitken: look over there, is that.. *squints* mensch? hey who let him out?

Jdmorse: me finks he chewed through the new Saskatchewan seal skin straps.

David:Wow, I thought those were the best in the world?

Jdmorse: feh, two words davey my boy... "Canadian made"

David:Figures. But hes talking... my God! normal?? I though we drugged him last night?

Jdmorse:Sure did, Peng gave him a double dose, enough to make a Burmese cow trip back to the 70's.

Berlichtingen:Hi guys.

David and Jdmorse:Hmmmf.

Berlichtingen:I saw you guys and that guy over there *squints*. Mensch? whats he up to now?

David: He's going on about something about the good old days and how the newbies are fecking up our cess.

Stalin's Organ: Someone say newbies!?

David, Berlichtingen and Jdmorse Jeezus! where did you come from?

Stalin's Organ: Well the door was open and I figured since I'm one of the new "duh" generation, and ignore peoples privacy and snoop where ever I can so I can brag to my buddies how I went where I was not supposed to go, I…

David: alright, shut your hole. we get the idea.

Stalin's Organ: … but I wanted to go on how we newbies are fresh blood for your cess, without us you will all just get moldy and smell like my gym socks. I mean without us you…

Berlichtingen: Stalin, dave is right.. go stick your head inna grinder, besides I wanna hear what mensch has to say.

Jdmorse: WHAT!!?? why on earth would you want to do that, Berli?

Berlichtingen: Simple, look its like this. Mensch needs to shake some grudges off his chest, but sometimes in his words he has something realy important to say. Besides we need to see if his medicine is realy wearing off then we'll have to grab'm and mensch off his medication means we might get that August 2000 incident again.

David: crap not that again, I tore me trousers trying to help put him in that cage. Your right lets get closer and check it out, heck maybe he's dying.

Jdmorse: We can only hope.

Stalin's Organ: Hey guys!! guys!! *jumping up and down* I'm here!! look at me!! *bounce bounce* I say something funny, witty and, and..

Berlichtingen: You hear something?

David: Bloody mosquitos this year are awlful.

Jdmorse: Here, can-o-bug spray.

*ffffsssssttttttt*

Stalin's Organ: *hack cough cough*.. I CAN'T SEE!!!, YOU BASTARDS!! *cough cough*

Berlichtingen: More like a bloody cockroach, nail him again.

*ffffsssssttt*

Stalin's Organ: *gasp* darkness... light.. fading, *cough*

David: Here I'll step on it. *crunch*

Jdmorse: good job dave, I think you nailed it in the family jewels.

Berlichtingen: yup, look how his eyes bulge and then roll backwards.

*they all look*

Jdmorse: yup, his tounge is hanging out and already the cess flys are gathering on his corpse. Lets go check out mensch now.

*the three walk over near to mench*

Mensch: And the Peanut butter had more nuts! Speaking of nuts anyone remember when Seanachai said something worth spitting at!!?? I mean...

*back to the three stooges*

Berlichtingen: come to think of it there are less nuts now here in the cess.

David: Berli, he's talking about Peanut butter!!

Berlichtingen: No, I've been observing mensch for a case study. Evaluating if we need to put him down one day. Trust me Hes talking about us elders and stuff..

Jdmorse: I don't get it? whaddya mean berli... jeez is your head hurting from his blathering?

Berlichtingen: To complicated to explain, I found that if you use a ferret and a tuning fork to translate what hes saying, he makes sense.

David: What do you do with the Tuning fork with a ferret?

Berlichtingen: You don't want to know.

David: oh... *moves away from Berli*. Anyhow if you say thats what he means, he does have a point? I mean there are more bones in the courtyard and more and more of those graffiti spraying newbies.. wheres is that fat mouthed guy...uh.... Germanboy? He was a nasty lad, smelled of Vaseline, got to watch out for guys that smell like Vaseline. Come to think of it anyone seen PeterNZ for some time?

Jdmorse: Calm down, this happens some times. Look your getting all upset over some guy talking about penuts and *listens in*

Mensch: Gravity!! not like in the good old days we had…

Jdmorse: gravity? jeezus, I'm getting Peng this is getting strange.

Berlichtingen: No need here he comes now.

David: Crap, now we got to listen to another wind bag.

Peng: *belch*

David: well at least that was short.

Berlichtingen: no wait, he's just getting started... he starts every long speach with a belch.

David: crap and I thought today was going to be another quiet day just watching mace get all excited over Kitty and soil himself from excitment.

Peng: What the?? alright who gave mensch the right to stand here and talk about *listens in*

Mensch: and if you read the instructions correctly we would not have to give how to use a condom course 101 in the afternoon!!.. look what could happen *pulls a picture of Panzer Leader out*..

Peng: Right hes got at least one good point, but never the less I thought I drugged him up?

Berlichtingen: I think hes getting immune to that stuff.

Peng: Drivel, we'll just have to mix more Bleach in it then.

Jdmorse: Realy guys I'm getting a damn headache here... his droning is killing me.

Peng: you listening to this crap!! wholy jumping nurf herders! this is worse then I thought.

*Jdmorse staggers off in the direction of the cess basement*

David: I, uh.. think I should see if he is ok, and make sure he doesn't pass out. *runs off after Jdmorse*

Berlichtingen: Panzy, all this looking after eachother is making me think we are loosing our edge here, who cares if he passes out?

Peng: It was pay day today, remember we all cashed in our cheques.

Berlichtingen: heh, ya.. and? so what its not going to help him if he passes out, he'll just.... *thinks*.. Peng?

Peng: Ya Berli? Berli?

*looks and sees Berli running in the direction Jd headed off*

Peng: morons *looks around, sees Geier* yo! Geier!!

Geier: Sod off!

Peng: that ungratefull nob. *runs over to geier*

Geier: Aw jeez come on Peng, I don't want to hear your crap today, I'm reading my comics.

Peng: bugger that mensch is out!

Geier: huh? how? where?

Peng: *points in the distance* THERE you nearsighted sea slug!

Geier: *squints* yup... mensch alright, good to see he gets some air once and a while.. it remindes me of a quote I read here in my comics. Let me look for it.

Peng: ?

Geier: "Life is like a box of cho…" *thwak, Thud*

Peng: I new this frying pan would come in handy. Now Where the hell is Senachai?

*dalem walks in to the courtyard*

dalem: Hey Peng, whats up with Geier?

Peng: Hmmm, what? oh him... donno? you seen Seanachai?

dalem: Mother of God is that mensch??

Peng: Ya, look have you SEEN Seanachai?

dalem: Cripes! and hes coherent!... ow, does your head hurt?

Peng: *rolls eyes* have YOU seen Seanachai???

dalem: ooh man, dizzy.. can't, stand... *THWAK, Thud*

Peng: Wanker *rifles through his pockets and takes dalems pay*

*looks over to mensch and sees Mark IV listening, peng runs over*

Peng: *gasp, pant... weeez*

Mark IV: your not taking up running agian are you?

Peng: No *weez*... I *gasp* feck!!! *gulp, pant*

Mark IV: take it easy, you realy strained your self over that 15m dash...

Peng: I'm.. ok *gasp* senachai… *weez* mensch… *cough* must, save... *pant*

Mark IV: say nice fying pan.

Peng: Thank..s *cough* help...

Mark IV: OK *takes frying pan from Peng* Oh, nice steel cast? a.. *reads the ingraving* wow Mc Fully 1906!!

Peng: Belonged.. *weez* to me... *pant* ma...

Mark IV: Listen here Peng, mensch has brought up alot of good points! but I must disagree with his idea that we should shave the courtyard squirrels tails, something about glorified Rats or somefink.

*weez* danger, mensch... stop, must..

Mark IV: But its true, I mean look… hey nice balance on this thing.

Peng: *whew* ah.. thats better, hey watch it with that thing its a double action Mc Fully Frying Pan.

Mark IV: no problem, I know what I'm doing… hey whats the button on the handle do?

Peng: huh? green or yellow button?

Mark IV: the yellow.

Peng: here let me show you dip head. *grabs the pan*

Mark IV: *looks at peng, then at mensch* he has a point you know.

Peng: WHAT! mensch, he couldn't make a point about that gunk that collects behind the oven over the years!!!

Mark IV: Uh, nope your wrong he just did...

Peng: I need a beer this is getting to much.

Mark IV: Tell you what lets let mensch air him self out and I'll buy you one, It was pay day today! *smiles*

Peng: thanks! hey so that means you cashed your check in then?

Mark IV: Yup, all $300 Pool poun… *THWACK, Thud*

Peng: Wanker, *grabs Mark IV's cash*

Mensch: You! you there!! I have something to say!! did you ever notice how the colours are not the same today as they were way back when!! look at black! now we all know black is no colour since its the cousin of white and the brother from violet.. but never the less!! its not… *Thwack, Thud*

Peng: Thank god, my head was hurting.. hmm I where the hell is Seanachai, feck this I need a beer....

Stalin's Organ: ooh.. my, ouch.. he..lp

*crunch*

Peng: And we got to do something about the cockroaches here.

[ 06-01-2001: Message edited by: mensch ]

[Stalin's Organ]

Ah, unter or uber....whichever....now I see why the puss filled worms of the pool ignore you! But I don't have to worry about that problem, 'cos I'm just a flat-head 'roach with a drug problem & don't have to follow the leader like all the other poor excuses for evolution in here!

What you lack in actual abilty you make up for in quantity...I guess it does have a quality all of it's own....its brown, sticks and it smells, so we can thank god you don't have any fan's.

[Stuka]

Nice one Mensch, like it, like it.

Thanks for not mentioning me though.... I know it is good theatre to save the entrance of the hero 'till the crux of the plot is reached.

For services rendered to the cultural sanctity of the 'pool, I hereby award you the "Hero of the Cesspool" medal.

Now if only you had a chest to pin it on.

[Berlichtingen]

Well, Mensch, that was certainly... long. In fact, I believe you just knocked SenileTea off the Long Winded Blow Hard Throne. Your epic has served a purpose... it has made me glad I have an 'end' key on my keyboard so i never have to scroll through that mindless drivel again. We will definitely have to look into increasing your medication, or perhaps... where did we put that brick?

[PawBroon]

Would that be the same Mensch as in IDon'tHaveTimeToProcessTurnsBecauseOfThatBusinessDoubleWhamyProposal?

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

Here's the deal, flatulent-house-fart, we have a fine *AHEM* selection of squires who's job is to separate the healthy sheep from the flow-blown flock.

Give them a hard time, play a game against them, and maybe Maybe I'll actually put aside some time to make your life by allowing you to play me!

Mace

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

First comment: Please use your find-and-replace function, using "flow" in the find function & Mace in the replace function.

Panzer Leader, I think, as the newest Squire, that you should introduce fytinghellfish to the Pool. I have an interesting little scenario I just came across, Jabo! You might be interested in looking at it!

Speedbump

[stevetherat]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Moriarty:

...faux victories ...too scared ...cowardly ...quivering ...kowtow ...send me a setup.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, well, well. I do believe buried somewhere in there a challenge was initiated. And by London's arch enemy himself.

For the first time in your life you may feel accepted. Unfortunately, not by society at large no, never, but by me. And only your challenge, not you as a 'person' (I'm using that term looser than a diarrhetics rear end). For even the most charitable Christian bleeding hearts would turn from you.

I'm feeling rather charitable myself actually, and will offer you your only freebie. I'm going to visit the country this weekend and so will not be able to send a setup before Monday. This is my gift of aid: I will give you the whole weekend to ponder, plan and propogate the most scheming setup your tiny mind can put together and, when I return from my sojourne, I will set about hunting you down like the vermin you are. You may start now.

OK Moriarty, consider my Dearstalker donned, my magnifying glass offered up and my pipe smoking. You're going to be Sherlocked.

StR

[Panzer Leader]

Cripes, Speedbump you pus-filled armidillo! Feel free to just nominate me for anyhting. Don't you hate that "One step above you on the rung of the bootlicker's ladder" mentality? This guy Speedbump he initiates me into the pool. Well, I was expecting someone to push me from behind **SPLASH** and there I'd be damp and clammy like the rest of you.

But ol' Speedbump he takes "stacking the deck" to new limits. I get a convoy of half-tracks and kubelwagens, while he takes a whole STRIKE FORCE of the Allies best fighter-bombers. His comments after the battle: "Tee hee, wasn't that fun?"

No Speedbump it wasn't fun, it was futile. The greatest joy came from your frustration at me somehow shooting down a couple of those planes, and the fact that a good portion of my force made it off the map. You're like a cop that just LOVES the feeling of a billy-club in his hands. Sod off.

Frosty Blowfish challenged Mace to a duel of tits 'n' testes. If the kanigget cannot perform the task (who would want to?) then he must call in his second. If the old fart has no second (Lorak where the hell are ya, I need that link in your sig!) then he is in a quandery. It is up to each kanigget to insure a well-defended backyard, and if the neighbors dog starts chewing up the garbage -- he needs to send out his boy, or put on his slippers.

Mace, pull it together. You're getting all weepy-eyed. Oh, sorry, that is just your 'condition'. Well, jeez put a bandage on it!

Anyhow, I thought I should mention that a kanigget of great renown, the one who has two names -- one with his last and one without (what the hell is up with that??) has quietly and politely PRIVATELY emailed me to issue a kind and generous challenge. Are you my Grandmother?!?! Geez, jdmorse I thought you were gonna fecking pinch my cheek before you were done!

Well, long story short, I took the glove proferred to me with a limp wristed gesture, and am preparing to smack it across his ruddy cheeks.

Also, one final note. A few day previous, Mr.Brave Actin' was yapping at me though the fence. I told him to shoo, but he continued hopping around and making a generous nuisance of himself. So get this, I take his words like a man, and accept them as the challenge they most assuredly were, and he hasn't poked his haed in here since! Come on out BraveActin'! I won't hurt you, just a friendly game is all. It's not like you are going to die-a-lot!

Tonight I am sending him a behemoth. I have some 'friends' on the outerboards, and one of them, being an army engineer, sent me a MONSTER of an operation dealing with an ALlied Assault on a HEAVILY FORTIFIED Axis defense. Mr David Aitkin! Come on down! Check your box tomight!

I do not know if he wrote any descriptions, so be forwarned. You need to be a little less "Montgomery" and a little more "Patton", right guv'nor? Think: The Second battle for Tobruk.