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The story of two numb nut newbies


Boru

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I have no idea if this is the right place for this kind of message, but someone will surely tell me.

After three weeks - I love this game. For more than the obvious reasons.

Two weeks and five days ago I was embarrassed to say I owned it.

Two of my ilk (numb nut newbies) were trying to learn the game and tcp/ip at the same time, both had tried the tutorial earlier that day and were still in the foothills of the learning curve. Squads and vehicles were running everywhere. It looked like a violent rendition of Riverdance by the local residents of the epilepsy half way house.

In the midst of a steel toed pirouette, an Allied tank came over a ridge backwards, turret blazing, HE shells disintegrating a close knit group of his OWN troops.

Numb Nut Newbie #1 had given an AREA FIRE command by mistake while experimenting with the "targeting command." The tank ran butt first up to the tree line of a woods loaded with enemy Axis warriors.

Numb Nut Newbie #2 sent off a "radio chat" message calling NNN#1 names that would have made his every forebear question the validity of evolutionary progress.

#2 grabs two panzerschrecks and a couple of squads with panzerfausts and anything else that even resembles an anti-tank weapon and rushes them all to the woods edge. A couple of artillery shells land nearby but the stolid group is undaunted.

The allied tank relentlessly blazes away at his own shaken troops, bare butt exposed for all Germany to see. The Allied commander "chats" away begging for help over the radio on how to tell his tank to knock it off, come home and promises if he stops shooting now the court martial will be swift and painless.

NNN#2 offers no help. He's geeked. He knows only that he is about to make his virgin tank kill in CM. An experience we all remember in cordite soaked dreams.

Just as the Axis heroes ready their weapons, total hell rains down upon the poor wretches. Noah had fewer raindrops with which to contend. Artillery shells sent them all into a face-planted, mud sucking posture that would have made ground moles green with envy.

Numb Nut Newbie #2 had thought he was checking line of sight with his big gun spotters a couple of minutes previously and had yet to learn the exact meaning of orange line/blue line, countdown clock. He had just thrown the full weight of ALL off map arty onto his OWN tank hunters.

It was a priceless moment. There these two novice generals sat, on two phone lines, in the same house, just one floor apart. Two dumbfounded numb nuts blowing hell out of their own pixelated armies, staring at the screen in disbelief.

Out came the manual. Onto the web went the plebians. This is no normal game. Two twitch crowd egophiles did something previously unimagined - research. A book on WWII tanks now graces the downstairs coffee table. Calls were even made to old family members who were vets of the real thing.

Commands were learned, tactics studied, experiments tried, brain cells exercised. In time, they now say, they may even join a ladder somewhere.

My thanks to the authors. My family bought a game, now owns a passion.

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Guest Madmatt

It's a cold and sobering night here at Combat Mission Park...The count is full and here is the windup and the pitch...Boru stiffens up and swings...It's hit hard and deep deep into center field...It could be..I think it...it is...IT'S GONE!!!!

Boru scores big with a Grand Salami!

Great post...My compliments!

Madmatt

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Guest KwazyDog

Hehe, glad you are enjoying CM now Boru smile.gif

I like to think of it as being as much a history lesson as a wargame. I know I for one never know the difference between the early and late model of a Panther G before playing CM, and in fact I cant really remember a computer based wargame up until now where it really mattered wink.gif

Dan

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Classic piece of work, Boru. It reminds me of my first game with the beta demo against Doug Beman. I don't drive StuGs to the crest of hills and then have them do a backward pirohette around the top anymore until they get made into so much Swiss cheese, but I still make moves that make me say "D'oh" at the top of my lungs.

Now, where's that CM borg?

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You know, Boru, I made silly and may be even stupid mistakes even after over a year of CMBO (including Beta Deamo) pbeming. Ask Scott Adams and just CDIC.

Play more and ask more, there are many good people out there who are willing to teach you the tactics. Reading war history books help too.

Good luck and enjoy the game. biggrin.gif

Griffin.

------------------

"When you find your PBEM opportents too hard to beat, there is always the AI."

"Can't get enough Tank?"

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Hey I did something even stupidier in my first games.

I tried to use an Archer (when it still had the hunt command)in a meeting engagement.

I had a BIG convoy advancing up a road without any ADA-not realizing that there was something called a Fighter-bomber! Boy did I dig the manual out fast for that one. (where were those bombs coming from)

Yep great game CM, did I ever tell ya about me, a platoon of infantry and an unclimbable slope? With a really nasty MG gunner higher up on the hill?

Or advancing a 81mm HT that had actually fired off all its mortar rounds without getting wasted THINKING it had an MG....oops

I often wonder how non military experienced, non WWII history buffs react to CM!

Hans

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I nominate BORU, Newbie of the Year!

Great Post!

I remember playing the demo, and doing the same thing with the ARTY!

I too read everything I get my hands on. I just bought a second bookshelf 6' x 4' and it is 80% full with my WWII books, Now I will probably need a third by Christmas as I collect Eastern Front titles. I also ordered my second Magazine subscription, Military Heritage, and I have been a subscriber of World War Two Magazine since I bought CM last year. smile.gif

Welcome to the Club and looking forward to your posts in the future. Have fun! biggrin.gif

------------------

"Victory smiles upon those who anticipate the changes in the character of war, not upon those who wait to adapt themselves after they occur."

General Guilio Douhet

1920

[This message has been edited by GonzoAttacker (edited 02-22-2001).]

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Awesome sense of humour there, Boru. If you polish it with a bit of acid and hone it with a fine piece of sarcasm, you can take it out for a spin in the cesspool-that-is-Peng, and survive the experience! smile.gifsmile.gifredface.gif

Great post

Bart

------------------

"I have slipped the

surly bonds of earth...."

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