Crouching Tiger, Hidden Peng Challenge

[Juardis]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bauhaus:

You have proven yourself once again. You have absolutely nothing of value to add to the Cesspool. Be gone with you.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I note that your sig line is as long as your post. Refer back to point 3.141592654.

Some sigs are longer than the posts themselves. What does that tell you of the post? That the freakin' sig is a better read?! Or that the post probably shouldn't have been made to begin with since there is clearly nothing of importance in it (the post that is)?

You have validated both of my points very poignantly for me. Thank you.

Oh, and one parting thought. If nothing is added to nothing, you still get nothing. BTW, your sig sucks!

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bauhaus:

You have proven yourself once again. You have absolutely nothing of value to add to the Cesspool. Be gone with you.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Patience, Bauhaus, patience. The lad is still learning. Why, only yesterday, in a flash of inspiration, he recognized that TRP's do not make good rally points, whether the enemy has an LOS to them or not. That places him higher on the evolutionary ladder than some of the {*coughJoeShawcough*} knights. Plus, he hates the French. Why, I believe just this morning he posted something along the lines of 'France is the only country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.' Or, at least, he WOULD have posted that if I hadn't beat him to it. Or something.

True, he did have the audacity to try and come up with a focus for his hatred (as if the lot of you aren't foci enough), but I believe that little problem has been taken care of, right Juardis?

Juardis? Don't make me go golfing again, squire.

Ahh, much better. You see, Bauhaus, he CAN be taught.

[Lars]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Originally posted by Juardis:

OH, and by the way, if Jabo is anywhere near as sadistic, merciless, horrifying, tactless, blah, blah, blah, as ArtyFest 1945,<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmm, not sure yet. Haven’t fully delved the artistic possibilities here.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> then there is no way in 4377 that I'm going...well, no way in the worl...uhmmm, well....Sure, I'll play it. You challenging me Lars or do I have to find someone else? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You could challenge poopoowiper4/2…

[imported_Wildman]

Ah the yearning of the Cess.

I have sat in front of the computer and have failed. I have failed to summon the complete loathing I have for each and every one of my PBEM opponents. I have NOT looked at turn, I'm feeling very HIRAMish right now, and that is a very unsettling prospect.

Its Friday, I'm at work, you're all a bunch of useless pillocks. Perhaps I'll open the files and just hit GO. I'm sure you future Darwin Award Winners wouldn't be able to notice the difference.

[Panzer Leader]

Well, since we are discussing pet peeves, Bauhaus pretty much gave a text-book example of mine: giant-assed quote of an old message (the WHOLE thing not just the pertinant part) followed by an insipid quip at the end.

I barely got through it the first time, Bauhaus, why make us view the thing again, especially if, as you say, it is worthless??

Now then, if that was an interesting delve into irony, and (judging by you small...thingy... it just might be) then I commend you, but I still don't want to read that wanker's post any more times then I must.

And who's this Dweebil character? Is that Mrspkr's gerbil getting out of hand again? Wait a minute, which squire is Mrspkr's again? And whose is the others, Joe's? Who knows, they are like two peas in a pod. Not you Peng, or, well, maybe it is you...

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

And who's this Dweebil character? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I think it's Frank Zappa's spoiled brat of a son. The lad grew up with his unwashed sticky fingers ruining expensive musical instruments, and now he's here doing the same to his computer keyboard. Pay him no mind, ya hear? and he'll vamoose of his own accord.

Oh and one more thing, Snacho, it's disgracefully obvious that that 'infantry?' unit of yours which has been struggling up a slope for the last 3 turns is 1) a schreck team, and 2) 'weary' by now.

As I'm sure you know from your extensive late-night testing against the AI, weary shreck teams can't hit jack squiddly at 193 meters. So don't expect my tanks to even bat an eyelash when your team sits up, aims and proceeds to set its own house on fire. TTFN

[Panzer Leader]

My dear opponent Little Buddy.

Yes there is indeed a panzerschreck to your right, but tell me, have you looked to your LEFT??

I nominate our Little Buddy to be given the holy bucket and christened pissboy for his dogged determination to get those line-breaks right! Jolly good show, guv'nor! Perhaps you could change your username to MoonUnit69 for the dur... never mind, I am grossing myself out.

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Well, since we are discussing pet peeves, Bauhaus pretty much gave a text-book example of mine: giant-assed quote of an old message (the WHOLE thing not just the pertinant part) followed by an insipid quip at the end.

I barely got through it the first time, Bauhaus, why make us view the thing again, especially if, as you say, it is worthless??

Now then, if that was an interesting delve into irony, and (judging by you small...thingy... it just might be) then I commend you, but I still don't want to read that wanker's post any more times then I must.

And who's this Dweebil character? Is that Mrspkr's gerbil getting out of hand again? Wait a minute, which squire is Mrspkr's again? And whose is the others, Joe's? Who knows, they are like two peas in a pod. Not you Peng, or, well, maybe it is you...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Because I feel like it. Now bite me. And there are times, like now, that I'm too frickin lazy to go in and delete the parts that bother you. I shall make sure I consult with you in the future to make sure that I'm meeting your needs in my posts.

And Jar O'Piss, my sig sucks? Good one! Seeing that you're not an elder on this board, you really have no concept of my sig's meaning. And truly, I loath you more that life itself and don't have the desire to explain it to you. Leave me be, you bore me.

[ 08-31-2001: Message edited by: bauhaus ]

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMplayer:

I think it's Frank Zappa's spoiled brat of a son. The lad grew up with his unwashed sticky fingers ruining expensive musical instruments<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey!!!!

Dweezil Zappa's first album rocked. Can't comment on his subsequent releases though.

Mace

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

Dweezil Zappa's first album rocked.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sure it rocked, but the property manager was wiping bits of twinkies and cola out of the equipment for weeks after. At least he hopes that's what it was.

[Lawyer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Wildman:

Ah the yearning of the Cess.

I have sat in front of the computer and have failed. I have failed to summon the complete loathing I have for each and every one of my PBEM opponents. I have NOT looked at turn, I'm feeling very HIRAMish right now, and that is a very unsettling prospect.

Its Friday, I'm at work, you're all a bunch of useless pillocks. Perhaps I'll open the files and just hit GO. I'm sure you future Darwin Award Winners wouldn't be able to notice the difference.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Point 12. Wildman always posts while at "work". Sure, he's working.

Line 3. Wildman only posts on MBT about once every six months. What does that say about his work habits?

Paragraph 2. Wildman sucks Tailgasser Joe's emissions... and LIKES it. Perhaps that explains his behavior.

Chapter 25. Wildman thinks we care. We don't. Why does he post at all?

End of Story. Wildman gets paid by our taxes for reading the MBT and posting pure ****e.

Why must we suffer? What have we done to deserve this fate? Or is Wildman really an alias by Col_Deadmarsh to make us all appreciate being pummeled into sensitory submission?

PS, what is a "Juardis" and why is it punishing us?

[ 08-31-2001: Message edited by: Lawyer ]

[Seanachai]

Hello, you Universal Soldiers of Disdain.

Turns might be a bit delayed, tonight, though I have a long weekend without committments (was rather looking forward to meeting Berli's wife, actually) so I should get a good rate of turnaround after.

Another poor, lost lamb has asked about the meaning of 'Peng'. Am now involved in writing a multi-part history of the Peng Challenge Thread. It's long overdue, and it's long-winded in the extreme. Selah.

[MrPeng]

dammit!

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Am now involved in writing a multi-part history of the Peng Challenge Thread. It's long overdue, and it's long-winded in the extreme.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> NO ... LONG WINDED? YOU? You're breaking your style of compendious writing and all for us?

May I suggest that the name Seanachai NOT be mentioned more than twice in any given paragraph? And perhaps some of the more lengthy poetry and/or songs might be trimmed?

Remember ... there are LAWS against slander pal, and it's entirely possible that, just as there are competing books out about the recent elections, there may be OTHER versions of THIS history too ... have a care.

Joe

[Juardis]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bauhaus:

And Jar O'Piss, my sig sucks? Good one! Seeing that you're not an elder on this board, you really have no concept of my sig's meaning. And truly, I loath you more that life itself and don't have the desire to explain it to you. Leave me be, you bore me.

[ 08-31-2001: Message edited by: bauhaus - because he's an idiot ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I would love nothing better than to leave you be, but you see, YOU keep talking to ME. You've obviously confused me with someone who gives a **** about what you think. But since your over inflated ego has deluded you into thinking that I do give a **** (about what you think that is), then let me say that I am most pleased by this latest development. Well, not really. The fact that you ONLY loathe me is kind of a bummer. But it's a good start. In fact, I think I shall now call you names behind your back. Turn around....go on...it won't hurt. Turned around? Good.

Wanker.

OK, you can turn around now. See, that wasn't so bad now was it? I hope it was really boring for you. Please tell me it was.

Now then, I shall indeed leave you alone, unless you persist in stalking me. Lucky for you this thread is about to end. However, if I can further increase your hatred of me, then I'd like to settle this on the battlefield. Airing your dirty laundry in a public forum on a daily basis is a most pleasant thought to me. In fact, I'm giddy with the thought. So, what's it gonna be?

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Juardis:

Now then, I shall indeed leave you alone, unless you persist in stalking me. Lucky for you this thread is about to end. However, if I can further increase your hatred of me, then I'd like to settle this on the battlefield. Airing your dirty laundry in a public forum on a daily basis is a most pleasant thought to me. In fact, I'm giddy with the thought. So, what's it gonna be?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yawn, you bore me, really. And as far as settling it on the battlefield......no. I'd rather floss my cat.......if I did indeed own the dreadful species.

[Juardis]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bauhaus:

Yawn, you bore me, really. And as far as settling it on the battlefield......no. I'd rather floss my cat.......if I did indeed own the dreadful species.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Very well then. I guess being 4-10 in Peng challenges does make one a little cowardly. If I can be of further assistance, please don't bother.

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Wildman:

I have failed...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Indeed. You have trivialized the verb. You are the failest.

You have failed to hold the bridges. You have failed to hold the villages. If there were any hills, you would have failed to hold them, too. And worst of all, you have failed to surrender. Not to mention that you have failed to send a turn in two Peng Threads, one MG debate, and a padlock.

Your most promising moment was unzipping the file that bestowed a Panzer Division in reinforcements on your tardy a$$, and failing to lose them all immediately to the pea-shooting glass-turreted cross-eyed snail-munching French forces with which I was initially Pawbrined.

Now, shoot Luke or give up the gun, ya varmint.

Wharthis?, I can't tell you what bad form it is to cite a W/L record in the Cesspool. Simply not done. Particularly against the Bauster. While the AI may spot him a +3 and a mulligan or two, he was a household name long before you were a household pest, odor, or stain. Do not trifle with an immaculate thingy... lest it also trifle, with THEE.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

NO ... LONG WINDED? YOU? You're breaking your style of compendious writing and all for us?

May I suggest that the name Seanachai NOT be mentioned more than twice in any given paragraph? And perhaps some of the more lengthy poetry and/or songs might be trimmed?

Remember ... there are LAWS against slander pal, and it's entirely possible that, just as there are competing books out about the recent elections, there may be OTHER versions of THIS history too ... have a care.

Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Shaw, me lad, you know you live for my Histories of the Peng Challenge Thread.

It is one of the Few Stories Worth Telling.

Your recent Joseph McCarthy (and that bastard is burning in the hell he configured) posts have been amusing, and educational.

But they hint at a larger mission.

You've characterized yourself as 'The Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool'. A noble calling, to be sure.

But I would suggest, and offer, as one of the Old Ones, another title.

"Herald of the Cesspool"

As such, it would offer you an alternative to the rather disturbing 'policeman' role you've taken on.

And, it would allow you to pursue your true role as 'Keeper of Tradition'.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Juardis:

I have spouted a great deal of gibberish about signatures. I will not find final acceptance from the Old Ones until I amend my ways, and find a worthy signature to support myself by.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You useless, annoying bloody pillock.

It's time we revert to the 'Times of Yore', by which I mean when stupid, but accepted little horrors like yourself were 'called' on being stupid.

Your signature file is the means by which you might, and that's a very 'big' might, with a useless swine like yourself, reach out, make a statement, however ephemeral, and use the words of folk far more entertaining than you will ever be to deliver to the rest of us a quote that will make your participation here 'somewhat' worthwhile.

Mind, a useless little pillock like yourself is going to run a long, hard, brutal mile to find words to justify their existance here in a Thread that admits eveyone, but honours only the brave and capable.

Come up with a decent bloody signature, or be gone henceforth.

Wanker.

Mind, I think you're capable of being a hero. If not, then fade into oblivon, and die.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

dammit!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Janet!

Mace

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:

I wish that Berli makes the map to this match and OGSF to make the troop selection and after back to Berli who will set the Parameters of the game.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Be glad to Mensch, and I won't even ask for your soul (got that already anyway). I do have one small request... Pound Jar O'P*ss into the ground.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Juardis:

Some sigs are longer than the posts themselves. What does that tell you of the post? That the freakin' sig is a better read?! Or that the post probably shouldn't have been made to begin with since there is clearly nothing of importance in it (the post that is)?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Piss off

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I guess being 4-10 in Peng challenges does make one a little cowardly.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh now this is just TOO much. I thought, at one point, that you had "The Makings". I proposed you for Serf and I actually applauded your elevation to squire but then ... oh my, but then.

This ... this ... unseemly referral to {shudder} win/loss records is bad enough, as if such things MATTER! But to then accuse a KNIGHT OF THE CESSPOOL of cowardice ... it goes beyond the pale, Juardis, and a reckoning is demanded! MrSpkr, what SHALL we do with this one?

Squires these days, I tell you it wasn't this way in the OLD 'POOL.

Oh ... Seanachai do you really think I'm going to settle for some trivial post like Herald (no doubt YOU conceive that I would be ANNOUNCING your feats) when I am DUTY BOUND to Prosecute those who would defame the CessPool and Protect the traditions and honor of ... The One The True CessPool? It is a HARD duty but I am resolved to carry it through.

Joe

[MrSpkr]

And now, to deflect the attention from my rather silly squire who SHOULD BE BLOWING STUFF UP instead of irritating each and every one of the elders . . .

Updates!

Wildman is cruelly refusing to send the next turn, in which I finally Surrender-Now after many turns in which I Died-A-Lot. Stop suckling off the public teat and send the next turn, you git.

Marlow has mounted a counter-attack on my fortified village using a VD-ridden boy scout troop, three ferrets and a Volkswagon Bug. At least my schrecks are getting some target practice.

shandorf is still discovering minefields by running entire platoons into them. You would have thought he would learn . . . well, of course not, not shandorf. Anyway, it will either be a very slight victory for me, a very slight victory for him, or a draw. He hasn't the power to win decisively now.

leeo and I are still in this Berli abomination. Both of us have turned each others troops into fricasseed crunchy bits, although he seems to be slightly ahead on this score. It's hard to tell, given that it is night, it is raining, and 80% of the map consists of woods (the rest being marshes or river).

Speedbump, true to his .sig (see Juardis, those things ARE useful), has pulled a maneuver worthy of Custer at Little Big Horn. He grouped a little more than a platoon in a forested area bordered by roads on two sides. My noble injuns, err, Canucks, surrounded him with about two platoons of infantry and three tanks. This last turn, my men proceeded to kill all but about two of his men, and those escaped only because my infantry were laughing so hard at his tactical ineptness. This one is only halfway over in terms of time, but really, it ENDED a long time ago.

Berli pulled a neat little ambush along a wooded road. Still, not too many casualties, and now I know where his Fallschirmtruppenjagermeisters are at . . .

Lawyer has decided to advance his Stuart and Sherman tanks against my über bunkers. Hurry up and die, boy; I hope to loot your cherished Ardennes pictures (no Bauhaus, they aren't THAT kind of pictures) from your cold, dead hands.

Joe Shaw is amusing. He is attacking a village held by my two drunk Frenchmen and their chef. He runs an entire German Volksgrenadier platoon into a large building, and loses all but one man in the subsequent ambush. On the other side of the map, however, things are more normal as my FRENCH bazooka has surrendered without firing a shot.

Goanna is spreading rumors and lies (like anyone would believe an Aussie anyway). First, he says that his Aussie toilet doesn't flush the wrong direction. THEN he has the unmitigated gall to try and pass Mad Max off as some sort of Avante guard movie instead of the documentary the rest of the world recognizes it to be.(Hey! Goanna's's speaking FRENCH! The Aussies and the French . . is there a connection? Hmm . . .) Anyway, this one just started and I haven't located him yet. I suspect he's off in a drunken stupor queued up for his monthly dole.

Anyway, all for now. I am off on the morrow to the land of fun, sun, golf, river canoeing, and Championship Football, so no turns until Sunday evening.

Now sod off, the lot of you.

[ 09-01-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]