Crouching Tiger, Hidden Peng Challenge

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lassie:

Gilligan...Has walked into the first of many ambushes.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's called 'advancing to contact' ya sudsy schmuck. Speaking of walking into the bushes, now that we're dancing cheek to cheek why not just bend over and die. Girly Berli obviously rigged this one backwards; you could do me a favor, stop wasting my time and surrender now, you mere puny [*sputters*] squire!

As for SIR Panzer Leader (stupid name, BTW, copped from the name of some grog book)--his 98¢ K-Mart army men are in for withering direct fire, now that his forward flak corps has been snuffed. He's running wittle joimen bazouki dudes up, sensing that I can't interdict them, but it won't help. Neither will his recent undeserved promotion to knecht. The assault is proceeding smoothly and on schedule.

Lastly, that Ozzie Stixx got squashed like a fly in our remake of the goanna-elvis bridge crossing challenge match. I know that sub-SSN's like myself don't get their matches recorded, but as I got the game here in this thread, I just thought I'd lecher all know. TOTAL VICTORY!

Now don't any of you lot even THINK of challenging me to a pbem. I don't have time for you cheap gamey bastiches now that a REAL TOURNEMENT, with REAL CMPLAYERS is coming up!

Lastly, I'd just like to spit in passing on Joe Shaw (for being his lovely self) MrSpkr (for his jingoistic ignorance) and MrPeng (for making it all possible). You guys suck worse than I ever imagined.

[ 08-30-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ]

[Agua Perdido]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMplayer:

[bile]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Finally! Lorak, I say we add 'im to the list of pissboys.

Agua Perdido

[Juardis]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:

OOK!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Mr. Mensch (and I only say "Mr." cause you're a kinnigit mind you), I have not had the pleasure of calling you a wanker yet. Wanker.

I note with great loathing that you have THREE sigs all rolled into one. Let's examine each one, shall we? No? Too bad. OOK, OOK!

The first is actually a link but it does provide a useful service, so it's acceptable.

The next TWO who-ever, the next 2, prove my point exactly. Not only have they been read a thousand times already but they say nothing about the oppresiveness under which we live (well...Madmatt's does) or your prowess at physical activity (ummm, well, actually Sifu's does), or even reveal any great truths (well...actually they both do). OK, neglecting those points for the moment, your sig is longer than your post, contains too many consonants, and is generally irrelevant to the socio-economic times that have befallen us! Please address this at your leisure.

[Lars]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Originally spewed by Gilligan:

I don't have time for you cheap gamey bastiches now that a REAL TOURNEMENT, with REAL CMPLAYERS is coming up! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Which would make you a what… fake CD Player? CD Duplicator? Record player? Eight track?

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMplayer:

Now don't any of you lot even THINK of challenging me to a pbem. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No worries there...

Speedbump

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

It is a matter of RECORD here in the CessPool that I care nothing for wins and losses and that I spit upon those who fancy themselves as competent at CM (you know who you are). HOWEVER, when gross deceit is perpetrated upon the body of the CessPool I MUST SPEAK OUT!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No there is a surprise. When was the last time you didn't speak out? You are almost as tedious as Seanachai

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Now here we see the violence inherent in the system, the "Armored Column" Berli refers to consisted of Daimlers, MG Scout Cars and Carriers! Now I don't know about YOU, but the fact that a few vehicles have a few silly millimeters of armor does not an "Armored Column" make. Further, he "neglects" to mention that said "Armored Column" had to traverse a road every inch of which was covered by the previously mentioned 75mm IG ... fish in a barrel Berli, fish in a barrel. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Had you raced ahead to the woods, you would not have been sitting under the sights of that 75 (I did mention that is was an infantry gun didn't I?) I was firing at long range and had pathetic chances to hit. The only reason I managed to kill so many was that you sat for several turns and let me shoot you to bits. That, Joe, is the srt of tactical incompetence we have come to expect from you. Oh, and by the way, were those Stuarts tanks or not? ACs and carriers, my ass.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Ah here we go again, "more tanks" indeed, first my most evil opponent, refer to lesson ONE ... AC's <> TANKS, second the "beautiful elevated position" was elevated all right ... it was ON TOP OF A BLOODY PLATEAU! There was no way off the damned thing, therefore no way to use tactical movement and it was so muddy that one of my TANKS bogged to immobility on the first turn. As to those TANKS ... Shermans if you please, it's not like the PANTHER you got shortly after. And your poor tired infantry wasn't NEARLY as tired as mine who STARTED the game tired, then had to cross and river and rough terrain. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yes, more tanks. You had Stuarts and you got Shermans... that would be more tanks. I was being nice when I failed to mention that one of them was a Firefly. As to my Panther, first you misidentified it as a Tiger and then a Panther... it was in fact, a MkIV. A Mk IV that was down in a gully while your Shermans were perched up on that plateau. A position, I might add, that you could see everything from. Now, the good people here may be wondering what happened to your Shermans. First one down... to a PaK38 (which we all know will bounce rounds off a Sherman... unless the commander of said Sherman presents the side or rear). Number 2 down... that would have been the one that took the up the ass shot from a PSW234/3. Now I ask, how lame do you have to be to allow an AC to get behind you?. And Number three? Lost a gun dual with a MkIV.

Really Shaw, you lost to your own tactical bungling and not because of anything that the noble Peng did

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedbump:

Actually, an incredibly complex and brilliant strategy of misdirection!

Speedbump<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey, if you have time to crank over turns for the vowel impaired, you have time to finish losing more of your expensive JagdPanthers to my cheap bazookas. Pick up the pace, boyo!

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedbump:

No worries there...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh the pinhead speaketh...stick an electrode in its leg and it jerks is more like it.

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

Hey, if you have time to crank over turns for the vowel impaired, you have time to finish losing more of your expensive JagdPanthers to my cheap bazookas. Pick up the pace, boyo!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well check your inbox you long-haired, soon-to-be Minnesotan!

Speedbump

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Oh me oh my, did young squire Juardis step in it THIS time, especially considering that he's squire to ... wait for it ... MrSpkr: OK, neglecting those points for the moment, your sig is longer than your post, contains too many consonants*, and is generally irrelevant to the socio-economic times that have befallen us!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> OHHHH, rookie mistake, MrSpkr ... I think it's time to PUT THE BOOT IN!

Joe

*emphasis added

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMplayer:

Oh the pinhead speaketh...stick an electrode in its leg and it jerks is more like it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey - what is this CMplayer person>? Be he serf, squire, pissboy, or what? I need someone to clip my dog's claws and pick up his leavings. Is a CMplayer squire material? Is it crunchy? Is it redoubtable, is it Squire-a-licious?

And Go Juardis go! Sigs are for the weak.

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lars:

Which would make you a what… fake CD Player? CD Duplicator? Record player? Eight track?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Is that supposed to be funny? I'll tell you something funny. The impending dismemberment of the green pukes you call your 'ambush' is going to be a real freakin howler.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Really Shaw, you lost to your own tactical bungling and not because of anything that the noble Peng did<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Hah! you give yourself the lie with this statement alone, Sir! I defy you to find ANYONE here who thinks that Peng is NOBLE! As to the rest of your spittle flecked and delusional diatribe I'll not honor it's LIES with response ... EXCEPT ...

Would YOU dash ahead to an unscouted and uncleared clump of woods without an infantry screen? Oh wait ... that's pretty much what your MkIV did wasn't it ... it burned nicely I thought.

Peng NOBLE ... give me a break.

Joe

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Agua Perdido:

Finally! Lorak, I say we add 'im to the list of pissboys.

Agua Perdido<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No, Sir Lorak, add him to the list of Squires. Since Comrade Jo Xia and MrSpnkr have already lowered the standards for said office with their recent appointments, why the hell not. Besides, he is the only other one in this God forsaken place that made it into the GROG tourney:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMplayer:

Now don't any of you lot even THINK of challenging me to a pbem. I don't have time for you cheap gamey bastiches now that a REAL TOURNEMENT, with REAL CMPLAYERS is coming up!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Plus he is from Sweden, and even though it is a liberal-pinko-commie-socialist country, it is a pretty nice place.

A final bonus is that it should shut up Pee El and the "My Buddy" stuff.

Now, Rett as my first act as your new Lord and Master, from this day on, you will refer to the former "Joe Shaw" (obviously a pseudonym to fool the masses) by his true name Jo Xia, who aims to overthrow the feudal/anarchy state of the MBT with his constant "investigations" and impose order on the Cess. You have been found out Jo.

[ 08-30-2001: Message edited by: Marlow ]

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

I need someone to clip my dog's claws and pick up his leavings. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sure, but only if you promise to start clipping your own claws and picking up your own leavings.

[MrSpkr]

It is a rather dreary in the Texcesspool. MrSpkr is on the driving range; his faithful Squire Juardis is somewhere down range.

MrSpkr peers intently at his target, and selects a No. 3 Wood.

whhirrr-THWOCK!

MrSpkr: FORE!

MrSpkr's eyes follow the shot as it sails through the air. At the last minute, it veers left..

MrSpkr: "Drat! Sliced it."

Joe Shaw: "Stop trying to kill the ball. Like this . . ."

whhirrr-THWOCK!

Lars: "OUCH!"

MrSpkr steps up again. This time, his shot hooks to the left.

Joe Shaw: "Just hit through the ball . . . like this . . ."

whhirrr-THWOCK!

Lars: "OUCH!"

MrSpkr takes another shot . . .

whhirrr-THWOCK!

Juardis: "OUCH!"

Joe Shaw: "See?"

MrSpkr: "Yeah. I really need to work on my swing."

Joe Shaw: "Don't think of it as work. Just relax and enjoy the game.

whhirrr-THWOCK!

Lars: "OUCH!"

MrSpkr: "Oh, did you hear my squire's latest inane ravings about siglines?"

whhirrr-THWOCK!

*splash*

Joe Shaw: "Yes. You really should try to keep him busier, you know."

MrSpkr: "one tries, Sir Shaw, one tries. I THOUGHT that our little Artillery duel would keep him busy, what with the AAR reports he is SUPPOSED TO FILE EVERY TURN, but I guess I was wrong."

whirrr-THWOCK!

Juardis: "OUCH!"

Joe Shaw: "Nice."

MrSpkr: "Thanks. Maybe an additional essay will keep him busy until he can BLOODY WELL GIVE US AN AAR FOR TURN ONE! Lemme see, how about forty pages, single spaced, on Why My Pathetic Attempt to Emulate Peng's hatred of Smilies by Coming Up with My Own Lame Excuse for a Cause Placed Me on the Same Intellectual Level as Colonel_Deadmarsh, due by noon tomorrow.

Joe Shaw: "A wise decision."

MrSpkr: "Oh, now I see he is babbling about consonants and vowels. Hmmm, what to do, what to do."

Joe Shaw: "The boot would be good."

MrSpkr: "No, no. Not at this point . . . ah bugger it all, you're right.

{MrSpkr goes over to Squire Juardis}

Squire, let's get something straight. First of all *BOOT*, while making malicious comments about folks is fine and dandy, you may not *BOOT* make GROUP comments; the whole purpose, the art, the zen of the Pool is learning to make comments towards INDIVIDUALS!

Second, *BOOT*, you are not sufficiently senior enough to engage in lunacy such as Peng's hatred of smilies or Elvis' inability to number files. YOU *BOOT* are a squire! Show the knights the proper respect they deserve . . . no, scratch that, I think you WERE doing THAT . . . umm, just show them respect *BOOT*.

Now, how do you do that and make challenges? Easy -- *BOOT* CHALLENGE OTHER SSN'S LIKE YOURSELF! Your job is to entertain us -- sort of like a court jester, but without all the respect due that office.

Now, get back to that AAR. I expect to hear about flying body parts and destroyed houses by morning.

exeunt

[ 08-30-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[Juardis]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

OHHHH, rookie mistake, MrSpkr ... I think it's time to PUT THE BOOT IN!

Joe

*emphasis added<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I am well aware of your predisposition towards consonants. I, however, have been viciously, maliciously, with malice and forthought, been called a MONKEY! Everyone knows that MONKEYs cannot make K sounds, or CH, sounds, or even hard Fs, as in F EWE. But they are most resplendent at enunciating vowels. Thus, any sig containing more than one consonant is even more worthless than one without.

And I notice with great irony that your sig is a quote from non other then Mr. Mensch. How ironic. What a sad example of the current inbreeding that is going on in the pool. Pretty soon, everyone's sig will be quoting everyone elses sig until eventually they all become toothless, nitwit, gene recessive idiotic sigs.

And I shall not cease nor desist in my crusade against sigs (at least until I go home in a few hours and fire up my battle with Lars - assuming he hasn't run all his men off the map in fear of my great big welcome reception). I say again - SIGS SUCK!

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Juardis:

- SIGS SUCK!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey, you should use that for your SIG!

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>No, Sir Lorak, add him to the list of Squires. Since Comrade Jo Xia and MrSpnkr have already lowered the standards for said office with their recent appointments, why the hell not. Besides, he is the only other one in this God forsaken place that made it into the GROG tourney:<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> By GAWD I say NO, NO Lorak. There is just too much deviation (sit down Bauhaus) going on around here. The PROCEDURE, Marlow, is to FIRST make an SSN a Serf and THEN to have him taken to squire BY A WORTHY KNIGHT, since YOU asked for him that clearly violates THAT rule. Damned jumped up SSNs automatically being made squires ... it's just NOT RIGHT.

MrSpkr ... let us UPDATE our file on Sir Marlow ... yes, yes, I know but I at least will observe the formalities and spell his name correctly. Yes I know he shows NO RESPECT but we can only do the right thing and hope that our example leads others to the right way.

Joe

[Juardis]

Damn...thanks Joe. See if I do you any favors in the future...

.

.

{sheepishly bows head and lowers his gaze}Sorry MrSpkr, I was just trying to have a bit o fun. You never let me have any (fun that is). All I do is type papers on Joe's idiocy, and clean stalls, and die-a-lot in arty battles. When can I follow you to a real joust and learn how to be big and scary like you?{Juardis, rubbing his right glutius maximus from a previous golfing wound, dejectedly leaves the room to begin yet ANOTHER paper...}

Sigs STILL Suck

[did I mention that EDITTING SUCKS TOO!]

[ 08-30-2001: Message edited by: Juardis ]

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

Now, Rett as my first act as your new Lord and Master, from this day on, [yadda yadda yadda]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Who, or should I say, what the feck are you, oh 'Marlow'? Is that a contraction of 'Marshmallow'? Or are you a relative of your namesake, Marlowe: Steamboat Willie of the Congo? Or are you just something inrupted by dyspepsia into my afternoon nap?

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Red Jo:

By GAWD I say NO, NO Lorak. There is just too much deviation (sit down Bauhaus) going on around here. The PROCEDURE, Marlow, is to FIRST make an SSN a Serf and THEN to have him taken to squire BY A WORTHY KNIGHT, since YOU asked for him that clearly violates THAT rule. Damned jumped up SSNs automatically being made squires ... it's just NOT RIGHT.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

There you go making rules again. I'll have you know that we're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We don't bow to some mamby pamby self styled "prosecuter" thinks the world should be. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical quasi judicial ceremony.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

MrSpkr ... let us UPDATE our file on Sir Marlow ... yes, yes, I know but I at least will observe the formalities and spell his name correctly. Yes I know he shows NO RESPECT but we can only do the right thing and hope that our example leads others to the right way.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

MORE RULES!!! When will the madness end!

[ 08-30-2001: Message edited by: Marlow ]

[Juardis]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMplayer:

Who, or should I say, what the feck are you, oh 'Marlow'? Is that a contraction of 'Marshmallow'? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

HELLOOOOOO?! Did the turnip truck just drop you off or did you get weaned from your mothers bosom at too early an age? Do you not GET what is going on?!?!

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMplayer:

Who, or should I say, what the feck are you, oh 'Marlow'? Is that a contraction of 'Marshmallow'? Or are you a relative of your namesake, Marlowe: Steamboat Willie of the Congo? Or are you just something inrupted by dyspepsia into my afternoon nap?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Welly, welly, well. So Marlow is this what we can expect from your squire? I do so hope you become better at controlling your cur

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Do you not GET what is going on?!?! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Maybe he doesn't like golf?

And Marlow, it's Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool, by the way, nice choice of squires {snicker}. It's good to see that there's still a shallow end of the gene pool.

Joe