Have you no Challenge, Peng? At long last, have you left no Challenge?

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Mullethead was kind enough to drop by and offer his opinion, unsolicited though it was: Greetings, you shower of spavined goat molesters! May your hemorrhoids never cease to rupture nor your carbuncles to ache and ooze! blahblahblah <hr></blockquote> Thank you for taking the time to complete our survey. It's feedback such as yours that allow us to further improve our service. As a token of our esteem please accept this free gift with our thanks.

SOD OFF!

Sincerely Yours,

The CessPool Customer Service Department

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Bullethead:

Greetings, you shower of spavined goat molesters! May your hemorrhoids never cease to rupture nor your carbuncles to ache and ooze!

...Basically, I have something of a life and thus don't fit in here. Be that as it may, I still lurk by from time to time whenever I'm in need of a good chuckle at another's expense.

And to my great joy, I disagree with all of you!

You scorned the outboarders and their endless nattering over how many gallons per minute could flow from the M17A2E5 Kitchen Sink. You determined to have fun in the face of grinding grognardism, revelling in your ignorance amongst others of your own kind and heaping abuse on all who faint at the mere thought of something as wonderful, as grognardian, as CM falling into hands such as yours.

Then there's the desire to win--not for winning's sake, that's not the Pool way, but to be the taunter instead of the tauntee. When these forces combine, even in the likes of you, then you have set your scabrous hands upon the rusty ladder leading upwards from this abyss ...

...And once started upwards, there is no coming back.

So hang in there a few more months. Better times are doubtless coming. The outer boards NEEDS the Pool.

That said, you can all sod off and die of scabies.<hr></blockquote>

A TESTIMONIAL, DEAR FRIENDS!

Peng, Berli, and all sorts of you other extremely annoying but better than the alternative idjits goddamn fools: Our Mission Is Clear!

This calls for yet another, completely appropriate Bocephus King singsong!

Ballad of the Barbarous Nights

There's no mysteries, no wonderlust

No novels to be read

Half the mind is lost, in a dream some place

The other half is dead

There's no captains here, no roles to fill

No reasons left to bow

They've all passed away, and good or bad

They are all equal now

Sing us the Ballad of Barbarous Nights

Give us some reason to care

The march of the mourners begins

With tears dripping off of their chins

They knelt by the ravaged and whispered

these words like the wind

There's no need to worry my friend

I don't think the world's going to end

Don't let it frighten you, I'm standing right by you

Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah

Down the road away, in a cabaret

Where the racetrack used to be

There's a waitress there, looks like Deborah Kerr

In from 'Here to Eternity'

All the residents, lack the evidence

To convict her of her crimes

All those cutting glares, on the backdoor stairs

They've climbed a thousand times.

Sing us the Ballad of Barbarous Nights

Remind us all why we are here

Samuel Beckett don't know

He made that quite clear years ago

the moonlight is dripping a sad and peaceful glow

There's no need to worry my friend

I don't think the world's going to end

Don't let it frighten you, I'm standing right by you

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Down in the valley,

The music drips off of the last ones breathing

Through all the clamour,

The pure notes are chiming like church bells ringing

There's no use in praying

There's no angels coming

They've all been misunderstood, typecast in Hollywood

Killing writers

Postcards and magazines, sad secret harmonies

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

In the foggy dew, you can hear the drums

See the tiny rivers of blood

Not a photograph, but a man they knew

Face down in the filth and mud

Where is Jesus now, the Apostles too?

Where's Buddha and the rest?

Where is victory and the cavalry?

We're forsaken in this mess

Sing us the Ballad of Barbarous Nights

Don't let us die here alone

Tennessee Williams won't mind

Keep all of the pain that you find

The last fragile sounds of the soldiers' lullaby

There's no need to worry my friend

I don't think the world's going to end

Don't let it frighten you, I'm standing right by you

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

[ 11-20-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[ 11-20-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]</p>

[Bullethead]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Thank you for taking the time to complete our survey. It's feedback such as yours that allow us to further improve our service. As a token of our esteem please accept this free gift with our thanks.

SOD OFF!

Sincerely Yours,

The CessPool Customer Service Department<hr></blockquote>

Is that the best you got? Even the limp-wristed Senility hits harder than that. Surely the effrontery of calling all you pig-raping afterbirths "grogs", or even "semi-grogs", warrants a harsher response from the Pool's JustFistingIt-or.

[Simon Fox]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Completely unOriginally posted by Seanachai:

blather, blather<hr></blockquote>Don't you have a turn to 'cook up' or somefink?

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Bullethead:

Is that the best you got? Even the limp-wristed Senility hits harder than that. Surely the effrontery of calling all you pig-raping afterbirths "grogs", or even "semi-grogs", warrants a harsher response from the Pool's JustFistingIt-or.<hr></blockquote>

I rise up! I shake it off! Are we to taunt, or are we to go down into the darkness of 'might have beens'?

Bullethead, my merry little man. While I wouldn't presume to try and gauge the level of mental deficiency and failure that the average person would need to suffer in order to post that pile of orangutang ****e that you characterized as your 'posts', I do know that the residents in this otherwise foul and loathsome place regarded your efforts to be on the same level as watching a poodle relieve itself on a fluffy bathroom rug.

While we're all relieved to see the small, curly-haired dog gain a measure of relief by its incontinence, and while we're all quite equally happy to see that nappy, powder-blue rug soaked down, we're more than moved to mirth by the fact that you, and everything you've posted, are on a par with frou-frou dogs soiling the bathroom rug that just happens to perfectly match the colour scheme you've chosen for your life. Pastel.

That you've posted here only on very rare occasions I can only equate with your equally rare achievement of sexual fulfillment. In fact, I would be willing to set a significant amount of money against the bets of others that those moments coincide, and that every post of yours on the Peng Challenge Thread has resulted in a trip to the laundry.

Now, far be it from me, the Bard of the Peng Challenge Thread, to task you further in this vein. Instead, I will suggest that you have carefully taken a screen-shot of every post Germanboy has ever made, printed it out on a top quality printer, lovingly snipped it to size, and pasted it in to some horrible book of CM memories.

In short, lad, I think you lack the most fundamental attributes of manhood. Those being, of course, the ability to laugh to scorn Germanboy's posts, as well as a willingness to play a game against a member of the Peng Challenge Thread. Myself, for example.

I await your reply, and a setup. If you've the hair to have a go at it, I would prefer a QB of not more than 1500 base points.

[ 11-20-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]</p>

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Simon Fox:

Don't you have a turn to 'cook up' or somefink?<hr></blockquote>

Pah! This is a new variation on 'Bah!' that I will be attempting to implement with the various Australians until they can post an insult longer than 3 sentences, and that actually amounts to an insult.

[chrisl]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrPeng:

The Gates-slut formerly known as Peng<hr></blockquote>

Put your login where your fingers are.

I challenge you to a PBEM (and not one of my heinous creations-- a QB, or a third party map with byo, or a heinous creation by someone despicable, like Rune), and if I win you have to change your login (yes your login, non of this blood-hamster-sig-for-a-month stuff) to "Gates-slut" and if you win you get exactly nothing, except the satisfaction of knowing that you were spared from changing your login from a vaguely respectable "MrPeng" to the truly idiotic and sycophantic "Gates-slut". And when all you get on your x-box is the blue screen of death, well, don't go crying to BTS.

[chrisl]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Germanboy:

I jabber when caught in a spelling mistake.<hr></blockquote>

That was all you had really earned.

Peng has done much better, and has earned a challenge in which, should he lose, he shall forevermore be known as "Gates-slut". But that's how we'll all always think of him anyway.

[BFCElvis]

The following are known wankers:

MrSpkr

Stuka

Lawyer

Wildman

[Noba]

Now where IS that darn map ? This must be the place. Where are those orders that Seanachai gave me. Aha ! "Report to the pool" it said.

This is it. Now how is anyone supposed to read in this dimlight ? It's really gloomy in here.

Wait. Light. Well, pinpricks of light at least. all except that shining beacon...that must be the one I seek - seanachai - it must be him cos everyone knows the sun shines out of his Ahem !

(Clears throat).

A pox on your morbid desire for the centre stage. Soon your desires come true as your puny forces reel under your inept leadership and the firepower of your enemies. Being the most garru-louse in the pool will not shield you from defeat.

It will not save you from the come-uppance you so richly deserve. You will be shorn of all respect. The bleatings of your defeat will be trumpeted far and wide, drowned out only by Mace's sheep... (so get an extra piece of velcro from the affore-mentioned because it will be the only solace you will find after our battle).

So, preliminaries finished - from me that is.

Whats new around this forsaken dump ?

Anything vaguely interesting going on - I know about the sheep of course.

Noba.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

Oh Mighty Noba-wan,

I witness that thy tongue hath verily spatteth with wrath in the direction of thy foreign foe SHORN-ITCHY who beguileth us with taunts of LIMP-icity.!! As is the custom, thou hast issued a challenge and Aussie Honour must now be tested ...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shorn-itchy quotes:

"The bloody little Aussie git has neither sent me a setup, nor shown up in the Peng Challenge Thread (as would any true gentleman) to insult me.

Whither Australia, then, eh?

Are you so blind to duty, so lost to honour, so sodding sure of your place at the final feast, that you can afford to ignore a Northern Challenger, that laughs to scorn all your little antipodean rituals?

(the usual insulting of the eminently insultable Australians in order to bump their thread...the pillocks)"

-----------------------------------------------

HAH!!! See, Noba-wan, true gentleman that you are ............ the vain and feckless Shorn-itchy - suffering sycophant of the hapless Pengman - quakes in his fluffy slippers now that he knows YOU are here, waiting to deliver HIS ultimate destiny.... DEFEAT at the hands of a bloomin' Orstralian!!

I suspect the feeble Shorn-itchy's palms are oozing sweat (ooo-er!) as he now realises the magnitude of his sin. He mutters "Woe is me ..oh WOE!" for he knows full well that a mindlessly goaded Aussie is DANGER INCARNATE - a most hazardous foe to face, sure to engender woe in any Northener squibs. (I'm sure glad I've never faced one!!)

Hmmm ... do I detect a nervous twitch of the Nortoner's butt-ocks as he shifts uneasily on his throne? (err..... or is it the dunny out the back? - ya better check for redbacks, mate!) and yes, a tic(k) in his myopic, rolling eye........

And what is this "Whither Australia, then, eh?" quip - or should I call it quap?? Doth thou notst understand, Northener, that Down Under we calleth it - WEATHER?!! And yea, it too can be called "quap" from time to time.....

A sure omen that Noba-wan will tilt Shorn-itchy from his slippery CM saddle is the MIGHTY WIN that the Australian Socceroos have just inflicted on the hapless Uraguayan team. Thus shall I pay homage to them in the time honoured Aussie way - "AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE - OI, OI, OI!!!!" The knave Shorn-itchy shall no doubt have sleepless knights whistling this stirring anthem inside his pin-like head, following his upcoming debacle at the hands of Sir Noba-win! hehe...

Egad! Enough mouthing of pustulous platitudes I say!!

Kniggets, mount thy battle steeds and prepare thy armies to fight to the death!! (I shall now retreat (temporarily) to my heavily fortified bunker to observe the impending slaughter of Shorn-itchy's feeble army!).

[ 11-20-2001: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]</p>

[Joe Shaw]

What the bloody hell? Is Seanachai RECRUITING on the Outer Board AGAIN! You'd think he'd have learned his lesson, stupid ManySodian Git that he is. Oh well, a Justicar's work is never done, I suppose I'd best send them packing:

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Mullethead posted: Is that the best you got? Even the limp-wristed Senility hits harder than that. Surely the effrontery of calling all you pig-raping afterbirths "grogs", or even "semi-grogs", warrants a harsher response from the Pool's JustFistingIt-or.<hr></blockquote> Ah lads, isn't that just the way of it then? We go to all the trouble to print up these "Thanks For Responding To Our Survey" forms, WITH free gifts no less (Do you KNOW how much Official CessPool Sod Offs are worth these days? Even wholesale they're quite dear.) And what thanks do we get? "Oh me oh my, I didn't get a PERSONALIZED letter, I didn't. I'm so much more important than the herd that I deserve special treatment I do."

{Sigh} Right you are lad, you DO deserve Special Treatment ... down this channel ... mind the floaty bits, first door on the right, tell Bauhaus you're there for "Special Treatment".

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Oh JOY ... KnobA has graced us with his presence by stating: Now where IS that darn map ? This must be the place. Where are those orders that Seanachai gave me. Aha ! "Report to the pool" it said. This is it. Now how is anyone supposed to read in this dimlight ? It's really

gloomy in here.<hr></blockquote> I MUST admit that the lad STARTED well ... actually ENDED pretty well too, reminds me of a young, inexperienced and rough hewn Agua Perdido. Of course the taunts are enough to enduce dry heaves in Hiram for Gawd's sake, but perhaps he MAY improve. I think we can withhold judgement on THIS one. A few more posts and he may, MAY mind you, be proposed for Serf. Oh ... note the primer facial* evidence of Seanachai's TROLLING.

*sorry, didn't mean to get technical.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>This one, however, this ... AussieJeff (I tried but really couldn't make his name much WORSE than that, poor blighter), well, he just won't do: HAH!!! See, Noba-wan, true gentleman that you are ............ the vain and feckless Shorn-itchy - suffering sycophant of the hapless Pengman - quakes in his fluffy slippers now that he knows YOU are here, waiting to deliver HIS ultimate destiny.... DEFEAT at the hands of a bloomin' Orstralian!!<hr></blockquote> Now really, "suffering sychophant"? And of Peng for the love of ... sorry, was about to say Gawd but you KNOW how Berli is lately. IF an SSN MUST post to the CessPool, might he at LEAST study the Pool for a bit? Damned SSNs have no sense of HISTORY, of TRADITION and the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread WON'T HAVE IT ... mind you the "fluffy slippers" was a good line.

Now Seanachai, as I see it (mostly bloodshot and with more than one clear image) you have three choices: (6) STOP this unseemly recruiting upon the Outer Board (ibid) Recruit higher life forms ... perhaps you might consider blue-green algae or (qwerty) SEND a BLOODY TURN ... my Hell man you've had it for nearly 12 hours now. Granted your Pommies are pinned down and dying in great groups, granted your armor support has been reduced to a couple of Bren Gun Carriers, granted you're assaulting into the TEETH of my carefully planned and situated defense ... actually I see your point, well if you can't bring yourself to actually PLAY the turn a surrender is a matter of moments and the pain is temporary.

Joe

{edited because Germanboy isn't getting enough annoyance in his diet}

[ 11-20-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]</p>

[MrPeng]

chrisl:

Uh, hardly seems fair that I risk my name, which is by far more well known, disrespected, loathed even, than your modest moniker, while you risk NOTHING. Let's instead put a bottle of Laphroaig on the line, shall we? If I win you owe me a bottle of Scotch, and if you win you owe me a bottle of Scotch. Now THAT, sounds like a fair challenge.

The Gates-Slut Formerly Known as Peng.

[Patch]

I humbly present this gift for the Cesspools enjoyment.

Mrs. Berli

(I'm really not evil)

[ 11-20-2001: Message edited by: Patch ]</p>

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Patch:

I'm really not evil<hr></blockquote>

No... but you're getting there

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

What the bloody hell? Is Seanachai RECRUITING on the Outer Board AGAIN! <hr></blockquote>

See, Seanachai, I told you you'd get the Justicar all grumpy and moany if you invited them in.

Perhaps it would be better if you stood amongst the flowers with a fishing rod in hand and a pointy red hat on until this all blows over?

Mace

[Madmatt]

Time for a new thread. Lets make it happen, you know the routine.

Madmatt

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Oh ... note the primer facial* evidence of Seanachai's TROLLING

<hr></blockquote>

Tut-tut-tut, what have we here?

Evidence of 'Law groggleyness'?

Who'da thunk it? Old Joe, a closet Lawyer.

I guess that would explain his collection of the entire series of 'Ally McBeal'.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Omigawd, humble Patch!

From whence didst thou glean that image of the vainglorious troll, Shorn-Itchy?? See, Noba-won ........ the little manthing? is trying to shed some DIMLIGHT on his predicament, whilst peering (or is that LEERING) through his myopic bi-monacles!! Don't you think his cute little red cap is just fitting for his stature?

I also note he has forsaken his trustyfluffypink slippers for the more streetwise Grogboot look. YECCHHH - by the look of those grogboots it seems he has been trolling through yon poop-pit! Fellow Orstralians have nuttin' to fear if this be the fa®ce of the foe ...... looks more like the Benny Hill of Gnomedom to me!

RickShaw quoted:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This one, however, this ... AussieJeff (I tried but really couldn't make his name much WORSE than that, poor blighter), well, he just won't do: HAH!!! See, Noba-wan, true gentleman that you are ............ the vain and feckless Shorn-itchy - suffering sycophant of the hapless Pengman - quakes in his fluffy slippers now that he knows YOU are here, waiting to deliver HIS ultimate destiny.... DEFEAT at the hands of a bloomin' Orstralian!!

and:

Now really, "suffering sychophant"? And of Peng for the love of ... sorry, was about to say Gawd but you KNOW how Berli is lately. IF an SSN MUST post to the CessPool, might he at LEAST study the Pool for a bit? Damned SSNs have no sense of HISTORY, of TRADITION and the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread WON'T HAVE IT ... mind you the "fluffy slippers" was a good line.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well thanks be to RickShaw for high Grogpraise indeed. You have none other than the stunted Gnome "Shorn-Scratchy" to thank, for introducing a Tru Blu wordsmith such as my humbleself, to the morbid delights of the Cesspit! I look forward to riposting your lightweight banter over the coming years! Sniff .... ahhh ...... this cessplace has such a nice aroma!!!

[ 11-20-2001: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]</p>

[Roborat]

(Peeks out from favorite gopher hole)

Well, are they all gone? good and no lock yet, lets see if I can get the last post in again, and make it two threads in a row.

And just to make it official, I have managed, once again to keep my record unsullied. Yes, I have lost, and lost gloriously badly, to Speedy again. Although I slipped up and actually managed to garner 18 points this time. I know, I hang my head in shame and promise to do worse next time.

Edited for the heck of it, just to piss you moose felchers off.

[ 11-21-2001: Message edited by: Roborat ]</p>

[Noba]

Hmmm. Methinks the lock has failed. Just like ROBORAT. I have the last post.

Noba

[Mace]

Sorry, best leave it for we professionals

Madmatt, I have last word. Please lock it up!

[mensch]

Looks like the cockroach problem is back.. Toodles everyone... call me when you have it cleared up.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

TOO LATE lads!!

I have the ball now and shall run with it - the try line beckons!!!

AussieWinz!!

[CMplayer]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by AussieJeff:

AussieWinz!!<hr></blockquote>

Moy arse he duz!