I met Peng and challenged him and got him drunk and he didn't even has the decency to

[Lars]

In a effort to move on from those pathetic photos (I have far worse):

GAME UPDATES!!!

Agua Perdido – send a fecking turn.

MrSpkr – send a fecking turn.

CMplayer – send a fecking turn.

Buzzsaw – send a fecking turn.

jshandorf – send a fecking setup.

And to anyone I may have forgotten, send a fecking turn.

[ 11-01-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]</p>

[jdmorse]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Agua Perdido:

Anyhow, I took so long setting up that I forget my plan and thought I was attacking. I knew that excellent starting position was too good to be true.<hr></blockquote>

Ahh that explains why those guys were there... obviously stumbling around in the woods on a gamey edge hugging snipe hunt.

Now that Seanachai's visage hath been shorn of the mysterium in which he inhabits, I find it increasingly morphing in my minds eye to Yoda's.

SlapDappy (although more Sanjuro, than Yojimbo), Birthday be(a)sts to you...... just to annoy Simon

[ 11-01-2001: Message edited by: jdmorse ]</p>

[Herr Oberst]

Harumph.

Seems that I must have missed some insignificant post in the last incarnation of the thread. I realize that statement covers just about all the drivel that is spouted onto this electronic blackboard, but this one evidently merits some tender response or somefink like that...

Very well, although I'm sure I will get hives from doing something so touchy-feely (BAUHAUS, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!).

Slap "Yo, Bimbo!" Dragon, happy birthday.

And if you persist in having things up your nose, I will have to search out an old Cheech & Chong skit and post it here with you in place of the child.

[Joe Shaw]

Four from the bottom ... the Peng Challenge Thread four from the bottom ... the EVIL of it. So ...

... in other news today Sir Joe Shaw released this statement:

Mace persuaded me to play this rotten scenario done up by our own Goanna ... I should have known better. In the first place I should have known better because it was against Mace, I mean, come on. But I REALLY should have known better because it was done by Goanna who knows zerozipnada about scenario design and is an idiot to boot.

It started REALLY slowly and got slower. LOTS of snow, I hate snow and I really hate stupid scenarios in lots of snow. Mace started things off properly by capturing a squad of mine and using it to lead an attack of his, the swine. There were other attacks but they all kinda blurred together except for the part where my PIAT team killed his Stug ... that was pretty cool.

Now it's the end game and he's charging my major VL ... like he could take it in a million years, I mean ... he's Mace ...

Joe

[Stuka]

Wow!

Thanks for that Joe.

Crucial information indeed.

Info like that you should post in the APDS shatter failure range thread, you Grog bastiche.

The reason the MBT was 4 from the bottom was that no-one had anything to say.

And neither did you, apparantly.

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Now it's the end game and he's charging my major VL ... like he could take it in a million years, I mean ... he's Mace ... <hr></blockquote>

Victory is not important to me!

The only thing important to me is that I leave my opponent in a state of permanent mental anguish and confusion by game's end.

It's quite obvious I've achieved my goal by the current behaviour of my esteemed collegue Just-a-bus Joe Shaw

Mace

Mace

[Iskander]

Odd, but I don't hear the accolades due to me by Peng who knows DAMNED WELL that if he ever wants THAT THING to happen again, there'd TANJED WELL better be some KOWTOWING to CERTAIN people that send CERTAIN things to CERTAIN other people.

Ingrate.

[Cest bon]

Hello again scum,

My, my, my. I decide to take my daughter to the mountains,wait a while before coming back, and what do I find?

That you guys talk a lot. A hell of a lot. Sadly it is pretty much all about nothing.

Lets see.

Football

more football

obscure aussie habits

rooting

hairy wet beavers

and a vote for scratch and sniff.

Wow, where to begin?

football and more football:

This topic is ok, except for the fact that it was about college football's biggest two bandwagon teams. If your going to talk football at least take it to the pro level where people that don't live in your zip code know what in the hell your talking about.

Obscure aussie habits:

While cricket, roadkill, and dead cats may be the new "in thing" downunder. It really just reaffirms to the world what a bunch of shaggy, backwoods,paul hogan wannabee's you really are. Must be great for the tourist industry.

Rooting:

Less said about this one the better. Not that it isn't a fun subject, but "rooting"? Haven't heard that term in a long long time.

Hairy wet beavers:

While another interesting topic, I just don't see the draw of hairy wet beavers? Much better to shave your beavers, they glide through the water much better that way.

Scratch and sniff:

I don't understand why a guy would ask for something they are born with naturally. I thought scratching themselves and sniffing **** were born instincts in the male species.

Oh and next time you guys decide to start football, at least only mention the only team that matters.

Here we go Steelers, Here we go

Cest bon

edited because I still don't know how to use this ubb code right.

[ 11-01-2001: Message edited by: Cest bon ]</p>

[Hanns]

A figure strides off a beached landing craft and into the knee deep surf of the 'Cess. He wears a pair of dark sunglasses and a crackpipe jauntily dangles from his mouth

"I have returned!"

"Cut! We need to do another take, there's not enough dead Japs on this beach. Can we get some more?"

"Sir, those are dead Americans. It doesn't look right when you've got you foot on their chest like that."

"Whatever private. I think those waves splashed my pants in such a way making it look like I wet myself. Get me another pair of trousers, light starch, nice ironed creases with the crotch let out a bit so I can have some more breathing room...hehe!"

Fade to black........

Well, you get the idea. Got done working the Fetish-o-rama Marathon Ground Zero 8th Annual Halloween Ball. Open till 3am mind you (on a week night no less in this Lutheran Scando-Land) seemed pretty late. One drunk Columbian guy must not have learned any physics because he picked a fight with myself and three other bouncers. F=MA is a m*therf*cker when applied to a little git by someone my size. My compatriots said it was amusing to watch me grab him by his head, hip chuck'em and bounce his noggin' off the sidewalk when I pinned him. It's nice to know I've still got it..... where was I? Ah, yes the scantily clad females in their seemingly endless parade of naughty nurse and schoolgirl costumes. Feckin' A, what a wonderful place. One of my Favorite Lesbians brought her sister down with her and introduced me. Hmmm.... the mind wanders at sheer number of prospective recombinations capable with my current blonde bi-female paramour, 2 lesbians and one sister of said lesbian. Penthouse, eat your heart out sucka's.

Anyway, my PBEM game with TurkishBathBoy goes slowly. I haven't seen a reply from him in 2 days. I will endeavor to check my email tonight if I am sober enough and not otherwise "occupied". Obviously I've had better things to do, but I cannot fathom his excuse. Maybe he got locked in the steam room with a big, hairy Turk who took a liking to him. Feh, I care not as long as he shuts his inane yap and dies like a nice little boy. Maybe he could find himself a nice man-friend on the order of John Wayne Gacy or Jeffrey Dahmer. Maybe SlapHamster will volunteer. He's got look of a repressed serial killer to him. Ever get that Kübelwagen icecream truck up and running Slappy? I've read that most serial killers wanted to be cops. Does anyone who has played Slappy know if he is fond of lighting things on fire or ordering

POWs to walk back and forth across minefields? A pattern is emerging me thinks. To the rest of you gits, may you drown in a pool of your own vomitted up Halloween candy (Lord only knows how much vomit it takes to fill an entire pool though) and be subsequently infested with a plague of crotch crickets (the Australian variety with the little sticks and knickers).

Sirrah, Hanns

[ 11-01-2001: Message edited by: Hanns ]</p>

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Iskander:

Odd, but I don't hear the accolades due to me by Peng who knows DAMNED WELL that if he ever wants THAT THING to happen again, there'd TANJED WELL better be some KOWTOWING to CERTAIN people that send CERTAIN things to CERTAIN other people.

Ingrate.<hr></blockquote>That Thing ... Kowtowing ... Tanjed Well ... hmmm ... blackmail is such an ugly word don't you think? Of course Iskander is a pretty ugly guy ... what the hell is a Tanjed anyway ... or don't I want to know.

And Stuka, remember Gravity - It's not just a good idea, IT'S THE LAW! ... HAH! Guess I told him.

Joe

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

And Stuka, remember Gravity - It's not just a good idea, IT'S THE LAW! ... HAH! Guess I told him.

<hr></blockquote>

I don't get it.

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Cest bon:

Hello again scum,

That you guys talk a lot. A hell of a lot. Sadly it is pretty much all about nothing.<hr></blockquote>

Sigh. It's true, Sara, they often go on at great length without enriching the world in any way. Still, the alternative is the Outer Boards.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>

Wow, where to begin?

Obscure aussie habits:

While cricket, roadkill, and dead cats may be the new "in thing" downunder.

Cest bon

<hr></blockquote>

Ah, time for a jolly Aussie sing-song, I think!

Somebody's moggy, by the side of the road

somebody's pussy who forgot his highway code

someone's favourite feline, who ran clean out of luck

when he ran into the road and tried to argue with a truck

Yesterday he purred and played in his pussy paradise

decapitating tweety-birds and masticating mice

now he's just six pounds of raw mincemeat

that don't smell very niiiiiiice

he's nobody's moggy, nowwwwww.

Oh, you who love your pussies, be sure to keep them in

don't let them argue with a truck:

the truck is bound to win

and upon the busy road, don't let them play or frolic

if you do then I am warning you it could be cat-astrophic

If he tries to play on the road, I'm afraid that will be that

there will be one last despairing mioaw!

and a sort of squelchy splat

and your pussy will be slightly dead

and very, very flat

He's nobody's moggy

just red and squashed and soggy

he's nobody's moggy

nowwwwwww....hummmmm.*

*He's Nobody's Moggy Now

-Eric Bogle

[OGSF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

-Eric Bogle<hr></blockquote>

When I was a young man I carried a pack

And I lived the free life of a rover.

From the Murray's green basin to the dusty Outback

I Waltzed my Matilda all over.

Then in 1915 the Country said "Son,

I'ts time to stop roving there's work to be done"

So they gave me a tin hat and they gave me a gun

And sent me away to the War.

And the band played Waltzing Matilda

As our ship pulled away from the quay

And through all the tears, flag waving and cheers,

We set sail for Gallipoli.

How well I remember that terrible day

How the blood stained the sand and the water.

And how in that hell that they called Suvla bay

We were butchered like lambs to the slaughter.

Johnny Turk he was waiting he'd primed himself well,

He rained us with bullets and showered us with shell,

And in ten minutes flat he blew us to hell,

Nearly blew us right back to Australia.

But the band played Waltzing Matilda,

As we stopped to bury the slain

We buried ours, and the Turk buried theirs,

Then we started all over again.

And those that were left well we tried to survive,

In that mad world of death blood and fire.

And for nearly ten weeks I kept myself alive

Though around me the corpses piled higher.

Then a big Turkish shell knocked me arse over head

And when I woke up in my hospital bed

I saw what it had done and I wished I was dead

Never knew there were worse things than dying.

For I'll go no more Waltzing Matilda

All around the wild bush far and free

For to hump tent and pegs a man needs both legs,

No more Waltzing Matilda for me.

And now every April my old comrades march,

Reviving old dreams and past glories.

And I wheel my wheelchair out onto the porch

And watch the parade pass before me.

The old men march slowly old bones stiff and sore

Tired old men from a forgotten war

And the young people ask "What are they marching for?"

And I ask myself the same question.

But the band plays Waltzing Matilda

And the old men respond to the call

But year after year more old men disappear

Someday no-one will march there at all...

- Eric Bogle

"The Band Played Walting Matilda"

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OGSF:

When I was a young man I carried a pack

And I lived the free life of a rover.

From the Murray's green basin to the dusty Outback

I Waltzed my Matilda all over.

Then in 1915 the Country said "Son,

I'ts time to stop roving there's work to be done"

So they gave me a tin hat and they gave me a gun

And sent me away to the War.

- Eric Bogle

"The Band Played Walting Matilda"<hr></blockquote>

Here, lad, let's not gloss it over. You've omitted a stanza:

so they gathered the wounded, the crippled, the maimed

and they took us back home to Australia

the armless, the legless, the blind and insane

those proud wounded heroes of Suvla

and as our shipped docked into Circular quay

I looked at the place where me legs used to be

and thank Christ, there was nobody waiting for me

to grieve, and to mourn, and to pity

And the band played Waltzing Matilda

as they carried us down the gangway

but nobody cheered

they just stood and stared

then they turned all their faces away.

[OGSF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Here, lad, let's not gloss it over. You've omitted a stanza:

<hr></blockquote>

An' sae Ah daid. At widnae happen agin. An' noo fer tha "parody" tha Ah used tae play tae lighten tha recently sombered mood af'n tha original version...

Whan I was young man I learned me a song

And the damned thing keeps going forever.

And on top of all that it's depressing as hell

I don't even know why I bothered.

Each time that I play it the patrons just groan,

After the first verse they start to go home

By the time it is finished I'm here all alone,

And I bash my guitar on my forehead.

And the manager calls me a pillock,

And threatens to dock half my pay,

And I promise my Ma, on my sacred guitar,

That I'll never play that song again...

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:

I don't get it.<hr></blockquote>[sNEER] I'm not in the least surprised. [/sNEER]

Joe

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OGSF:

An' sae Ah daid. At widnae happen agin. An' noo fer tha "parody" tha Ah used tae play tae lighten tha recently sombered mood af'n tha original version...<hr></blockquote>

Splendid! Notice, of course, that I was the one with the light and cheery song (what could be more humourous than roadkill songs?), and you, lad, were the one trotting in here with the extremely poignant and lovely, but admittedly sad song, "And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda".

That one's one of the first Eric Bogle songs I ever learned to sing. That and "No Man's Land" (which has appeared on the Peng Challenge Thread previously; I believe I posted it the night that that little Nazi pillock 'Joachim Peiper' began posting his spate of venom and offense.)

Woot, Mun! You're showing your secret Aussie roots again, OGSF! Well, sort of, given that Bogle is actually Scottish, and emigrated to Australia as a young man.

[Mace]

I'm impressed Seanachai by your knowledge of some things Australian.

Getting to know your enemy, huh?

Mace

[BFCElvis]

Game updates for evryone who doesn't care:

Lawyer, I st the last turn plot file off to him last night so I don't want to say too much or he might catch on to my gamey flag rushplns.

Wildman asked everyone playing him o resendthe last turns to a different address so I sent the last file (dated 9/6/01) and still have herd nothing.

MrSpeachless is running at about the same speed as Wildman. Last file I got from him was Oct. 23. Peng returns files faster.

The bottom line here is that my effort to trim back othe number of PBEM games I have going doesn't seem tobe workingthey way I hoped. Not only do I need to keep the number but I also need the opponant to b of higher quaility (Lawyer is exempt for that snide remark). It's time for me to call up the old ones for game.

[BFCElvis]

Berli, I challenge you...you low down dirty scoundrel. You...you ..you....big sack of poo.

And Lawyer, regardless of how our battle ends, I would like to take his timeto chllenge you to an operation. You seem to be good for a file a day and sometimes more on weekends so it should take us about a year to play but I think it would be interesting. Can someone here recommend one please.

[MrPeng]

Icky, you old Sot, The techs at Peng Labs report that the wire samples are in.

Unfortunately I appear to be flirting with pneumonia again and confined myself to quarters when I got home from work. If we are not in very bad shape when we get home from work today we will go down to the lab and put the samples to the test.

We are deeply grateful for your generosity in sending the wire to our labs for testing, and wish you to note that I kept our mouths shut regarding the outcome of our last TCP/IP match just as you had threatend us to do. We certainly would not want to jeapordize the excellent steel and copper wire quality control relationship we have developed by improperly divulging game results - (not that winning and losing matter, of course), - so we would be foolish to let these scum here know the outcome of any match played under the Steel and Copper Wire Sample Quality Control Initiative, unless, of course, You WIN. Then we would be more than happy to trumpet your glorious victory to the heavans.

Peng

edited for hateful UBB errors

[ 11-02-2001: Message edited by: MrPeng ]</p>

[jshandorf]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lars:

jshandorf – send a fecking setup.

<hr></blockquote>

Damn, I was hoping you'd forget.

Awwwright, I have plans tonight but after I get home I will send you out a something? Did you want a scenario or a QB?

I will also send setups to Seanchai, Peng (Time for a ME), and finally Hans. Thankfully he can't throttle me with those pythons of his after I wipe the floor with his uberself.

Jeff

[ 11-02-2001: Message edited by: jshandorf ]</p>

[Hakko Ichiu]

Once again, Übercommonwealth zealots have published a charade of a tissue of a farago of lies asserting that Oztralians have a monopoly on songs about roadkill. In the words of one patriotic American, "this will not stand." (sit down, Bauhaus!). My evidence:

Dead Skunk

by Loudon Wainwright III

Crossing the highway late last night

He shoulda looked left and he shoulda looked right

He didn't see the station wagon car

The skunk got squashed and there you are

You got your dead skunk in the middle of the road

Dead skunk in the middle of the road

Dead skunk in the middle of the road

(And it's) Stinking to high heaven

Take a whiff on me. That ain't no rose

Roll up your window and hold your nose

You don't have to look and you don't have to see

'Cause you can feel it in your olfactory.

You got your dead skunk in the middle of the road

Dead skunk in the middle of the road

Dead skunk in the middle of the road

(And it's) Stinking to high heaven

Yeah, you got your dead cat and you got your dead dog

On a moonlit night you got your dead toad frog

You got your dead rabbit and your dead raccoon

The blood and the guts, they gonna make you swoon

You got your dead skunk

In the middle

Dead skunk in the middle of the road

Dead skunk in the middle of the road

Stinking to high heaven

C'mon, stink

You got it. It's dead. It's in the middle.

Dead skunk in the middle

Dead skunk in the middle of the road

Stinking to high heaven

All over the road

Technicolor

Oh, you got pollution.

It's dead.

It's in the middle,

And it's stinkin' to high heaven.

Damn I'm proud to be an Amurican. And I edit my posts to piss off the descendants of barbarian tribes.

[ 11-02-2001: Message edited by: Hakko Ichiu ]</p>

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Damn I'm proud to be an Amurican.<hr></blockquote> You betcha bubba! Brings to mind that night my drunk college roommate saw a skunk on the way home and decided that that there skunk needed to die. So he hopped out of the car ... and STOMPED that sucker to death ... then he came back to our dinky, tiny, closed in dorm room and passed out.

Joe

[jshandorf]

You know... it really amazes me that some of you guys have the time to think up and post songs. Obviously you don't have the skill or talent for it but you sure do have alot of time.

Jeff