mensch Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 well poot and wipe my grimey face.. a new peng thread.. and look its packed full with village idiots and a peng (first class city idiot). as for Meeks.. jeezus.. how was I supposted to win.. is the computer allowed to buy Jabbos? I was like 300pts short in that attack... and the fecking computer bought for me three Cromwells!!! against four Hezters.. not bloody likely they would have been great in hammering his positions with each having 40 odd HE rounds but with 1 C round each and no AP.. I stood no chance.. feck a Churchill has enough problems knocking out a Hezter never mind those stupid Cromwells!! oh well I guess that program steve gave me was a virus and not a cheat utilitiy. ----------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 Hamsters wrote: David, your setup is a coming Hmmm, you don't look like Elvish, but I'll kill you anyway. but there better be another panel in the All Your Cesspool Are Belong To Us strip Actually, I had some inspiration last night, so you might be in luck. (By the way, as a sage Babs pointed out to me, it's "Somebody set up us the bomb" not "Somebody set us up the bomb". As the Frenchman once said in his inimitable pseudo-English, we are fierce historical innaccuracers. Right, now where did I put my scissors? Heeere, Hammy Hammy Hammy.... ------------------ All true Americans love to kill deer, wade into them, spill their guts, shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a gob of goo, that moments before was your best head of garden lettuce, well, you'll know what to do. – Bruno Weiss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetherat Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 Aromanuts, your setup shall be longboating its way to you shortly. In the meantime, hippy, I wish you luck in unravelling those Damn Yankees™ heads, though I fear you waste your time. Iskandynice you chipmonk. You may be under the false impression that this is a Meeting Engagement. To forcibly put you on the right track, we are engaged in an Attack, you slack-jawed, fly-catching, bumpkin. Get you pansy arsed men into gear and come get me. StR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest *Captain Foobar* Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 Originally posted by Robobrat: S****, is this game ever going to end!! Or is it really some kind of never-ending purgatory, or a really weird outer limits episode?? Be certain of this Roborat, this battle will not end. When did we start this thing? August? We have never really shelved the thing, we have been working at it diligently all along. But somehow, after 7 months, we are only on turn 10 or somefink. I also have a strong suspicion that you just got reinforcements. Whoever wins this should be crowned Knight of Eternal Suffering. This battle has crushed my understanding of time and space. I have finished 20 other games in the meantime. My first instinct would be to blame you for all of this. Yes in fact I think I do. But in he interest of blaming other people too, I would like the designer of this scenario to speak up. What did we do to you? We just wanted to fight each other and throw insults, and laugh and play, but this specimen, this abomination saps me of my will to live. It will rob me of my life precious before its done, I am sure of it. Objections: 1) Its a night battle. Thanks for that 2) Every single building (about 100 in all) is on fire. No cover at all. 3) You made Sgt Foobar a driver of a scout car. He is a coward, and I find that highly objectionable. You should have made it Sgt Meeks or something. It is beneath my dignity. 4) You put evil in it. We are both crying uncontrollably. Its all we can do to hate each other. I am so ferklempt that I dont even know who my sponsor is. I fink Berli is the owner of that yapping bitch Roborat, but I am hanging out here alone. I just want to finish the thing. Lorak, what do the records show? Who is responsible for this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DekeFentle Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 Seanitchy & Shandork Am I to understand that you two viscous spewing simpletons require a weekend date? As a daily visitor to this puss engorged sorry-arsed excuse for a city, I had put forth I am sure, terms for my purchase of beverage and edibles as any time after working hours, or during lunch Mon.-Fri. If either of you believe I would sacrifice a portion of my weekend to allow you to bath in my sanctified aura you are both seeing the wrong doctors. Seanachai your past allusions to my rural stature are cast back upon your person! Anyone can drive to the city on a weekend. Who is the outstate git now? I have offered more than either of you deserve, I set the time and date for our encounter as Friday the 22nd of this month at 17:00 hours. Please RSVP through e-mail. Include in said correspondences a method for contacting your persons via conventional, real-time means. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 Originally posted by jd: hmm reinforced Bn vs reinforced company and you manage ONLY a minor victory, I'd say that that's a victory for me Mrcan'tevenmanageto thumppondscum. That's pathetic, just like your tactics, even rolling up my flank you still could not take all the flags. What a doof. A 3-1 advantage and you squander it like a 2 bit whore squanders her viginity 4x a day. Jefe, I thought you were supposed to be good? I guess in the venacular allegedly good. Well I haven't seen it. If I, off all people can hpold out against that tsunami of feldgrau you commanded, well the fault must lie at the top of the field command. Minor vic, jefe, minor vic. Hey, don't come cryin' to me just because you bought crap to defend with. LOL, you didn't HOLD out, I just couldn't run my troops that far across the board. Given 2 more rounds I would have secured the last flag and many more points. You know, I know, so lets not pretend, shall we? Well now... I suppose you are going to want some kind of revenge, or satisfaction, eh? Send me a set up pansy boy and I will show you how a real man defends. Jeff ------------------ When nuclear weapons are frozen then only freezers will have nuclear weapons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 Originally posted by DekeFentle: I have offered more than either of you deserve, I set the time and date for our encounter as Friday the 22nd of this month at 17:00 hours. Hmmm.. That just won't do at all, in fact that date is just impossible for me. 1) My Fridays are always booked and 2) The 22nd of this month is Thursday. How about some other day next week? Possibly one where the cardinal date matches the actual day would be good too. Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 Since it seems to be extremely difficult to sort out my modem problems (sort of taking my machine in for repair, which I won't do at this time), you can all forget about me returning PBEM turns probably for quite some time to come. Same goes for appearances on the board (not that anyone will mind). Also Moriarty - I won't be able to answer your question. Sorry. ------------------ Andreas Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 Originally posted by DekeFentle: I have offered more than either of you deserve, I set the time and date for our encounter as Friday the 22nd of this month at 17:00 hours. Please RSVP through e-mail. Include in said correspondences a method for contacting your persons via conventional, real-time means. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. Hey, I'm cool with Friday, although over here in Minneapolis it falls on the 23rd on our calendars. Jefe, if we can reconcile the day of the week/numbering system in use by Deke, does this work for you? Deke, after confirming my normal lack of a life with my calendar at home, I will email you by conventional means, with contact information that will allow you to harass me in the Real World™. ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 Seems Peng is a cranky poo-head today. Cromag fails to appreciate the beauty of my defense, given that my initial deployment area was exactly three Angstroms deep, and the flags were only one Angstrom back from the edge of said zone. And did I mention that the mean free path of a photon in this hellish map is about two freakin' fathoms? nijis is being a sport about running his lads through my minefields in our rematch. I can only imagine the hell he has dreamed up for me. I owe setups to a couple of lipless goons that I challenged. As soon as I can take a break from my feverish self-flagellation to remember who they are, they'll be on their way. ------------------ I LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER BATTLE TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS NOW HIS AND I AM HIS SLAVE. PLEASE ABUSE ME AS YOU SEE FIT AND CALL ME A DOO-DOO HEAD. IT IS MY PLACE IN LIFE, I WILLINGLY ACCEPT IT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 I am having difficulties with Outlook Express. It dies on me. Go figure. Hence, no files out until I can be bothered to kill it and resurrect it. I have lots of hate available and will endeavour to spread it out evenly to y'all asap. For those of you who are keen to meet your maker you might want to try and resend to njn@home.se instead. Otherwise you will get yours tomorrow. ------------------ Johan "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" Tom Waits Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 Originally posted by Seanachai: Hey, I'm cool with Friday, although over here in Minneapolis it falls on the 23rd on our calendars. Jefe, if we can reconcile the day of the week/numbering system in use by Deke, does this work for you? I don't know.. Hmmm.. let me see... Oh yeah! Since in my post TWO before yours I feckin' said, and I quote, "Hmmm.. That just won't do at all, in fact that date is just impossible for me. 1) My Fridays are always booked and 2) The 22nd of this month is Thursday." What do you think?! Friday is NO GOOD. I have plans every Friday that supersede any new plans, and since I do make exceptions in rare cases I just don't think you two are rare enough, comprende? Now, how about Wednesday, or even Thursday? jeff [This message has been edited by jshandorf (edited 03-15-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 Originally posted by *Captain Foobar*: But in he interest of blaming other people too, I would like the designer of this scenario to speak up. What did we do to you? We just wanted to fight each other and throw insults, and laugh and play, but this specimen, this abomination saps me of my will to live. It will rob me of my life precious before its done, I am sure of it. Objections: 1) Its a night battle. Thanks for that Get used to it 2) Every single building (about 100 in all) is on fire. No cover at all. Rather nice touch that 4) You put evil in it. We are both crying uncontrollably. Its all we can do to hate each other. We put Evil in (BTW, Evil is capitalized)? I am shocked, shocked I say! I cannot believe that any of the Knights would condone Evil! I am so ferklempt that I dont even know who my sponsor is. I fink Berli is the owner of that yapping bitch Roborat, but I am hanging out here alone. Oh boy do I have a special pit to roast your soul in. I suggest you do a little research. Forgeting who your Knight is a a rather bad faux pas... particularly given who your Knight is... Lorak, what do the records show? Who is responsible for this? Well, I can say that your Knight was one of them [This message has been edited by Berlichtingen (edited 03-15-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 Some sniveling little dog of a squire wannabe named Captain Foobar (and I think we can all agree on that) actually said:I am so ferklempt that I dont even know who my sponsor is. I fink Berli is the owner of that yapping bitch Roborat, but I am hanging out here alone. Ladies and Gentlemen of the CessPool I fear we have become witness to a failure of monumental proportions. Not only does Captain Foobar not remember who his Knight is, he apparently doesn't know how to visit that Holy of Holies, the Official CessPool website where his question would be answered! But this failure, tragic though it is, is not solely that of poor Captain Foobar but rather should placed squarely at the feet of his Knight, Berli. Note that MY squire, the worthy and trusty Agua Perdido has, on numerous occassions, acknowledged my liegeship and done many kindnesses for me. Did he acquire this knowledge through osmosis? Of course not, he acquired it through our rigorous training sessions and my enlightening seminars on various and sundry topics ... not least among those, How to Recognize Your Knight ... you can't take ANYTHING for granted with squires. It's abundantly obvious to me that Berli has failed in his duties as Knight and Liege. Taking a squire (sit DOWN Bauhaus ... and btw, how's about a turn sometime this decade?) is a solemn obligation and responsibility and is not to be undertaken by those unwilling ... or unable ... to fufill it. Yes, Captain Foobar failed in his duty to recognize his Knight ... but how greater the failure of the Knight! Joe ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES [This message has been edited by Joe Shaw (edited 03-15-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Taking a squire (sit DOWN Bauhaus ... and btw, how's about a turn sometime this decade?) is a solemn obligation and responsibility and is not to be undertaken by those unwilling ... or unable ... to fufill it. Yes, Captain Foobar failed in his duty to recognize his Knight ... but how greater the failure of the Knight! Alas, Joe is correct... I have not beaten Capt. Foobar enough. I will endevor to kick him more often *kick* so that he learns his proper place. However, I take exception to Joe holding up his useless squire as an example. That cringing little toady *kick* is an embarassment to squiredom. Now, Foobar, *kick* stomp that worthless rodent you *kick* are fighting into the ground. Quit bawling *kick* about the dark and *kick* the lack of cover and disembowel him! I want his liver *kick* presented to me on a plate! While you're at it *kick* bring me the head of Joe's mooncalf squire! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 *kick* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 GAME UPDATES! Croda: In our original battle Croda continues to push on. I fear I may not have enough bullets for all his warm bodies. Good thing I saved some REALLY BIG arty for my reserve.. Muahahahaha In our second BIG BATTLE I have yet to send him back my first orders phase. I think I will do that tonight. Meeks: I thought this battle was gonna be tough!? So far I am strolling towards my first VL flag. Meeks, the mangy rat that he is, must have something up his sleeve. JD: Just wanted to mention again how soundly I thumped JD. Beril: Beril dies quickly and efficiently. My only problem is that I may run out of time again. Sigh.... PeterNZer: The ONLY person that is beating me right now. By the time he runs out of his 150mm arty all I will have left is a few arms and legs to throw at him in defiance. Never again am I attacking him in the snow, that is, until I learn how to. Damn... Peng: You guys should REALLY see this battle. I am smashing Peng like Sossa smashes baseballs. It's pure perfection. I have a line of armor on a hill over watching the entire attack. The second one of his infantry units appears my tanks make short work of the little house he is hiding in. It is just awesome... Looks like I won't be having any little (*) next to my name. Babs: I accidentally told all my armor to hide on the first turn. So basically I sat there and let babs bounce 57mm rounds off their hulls. Quite nerve-racking needless to say. Next round I will correct my oversight. Mensch: Mensch claims he has bought 2 jabos.. So far they are a no show. If they don't show he can be assured of his loss. Bauhaus: I am halfway through my setup. I should have it out tonight. Well, that is all. Once again you all, with a few exceptions, have shown yourselves to be merely playthings of mine. Jeff ------------------ When nuclear weapons are frozen then only freezers will have nuclear weapons. [This message has been edited by jshandorf (edited 03-15-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 Please see the new Poll over in the other CessPool. Have some fun with it, and let your true colors show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DekeFentle Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 I seem to have referenced a Hamsters made calendar. Based on Sharndorfs standing Friday night orders (washing your hair or playing with mother thumb and her four sisters?) how about Tuesday the 27th 17:00? When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 I find it incomprehensible that Berli had the nerve to assert: However, I take exception to Joe holding up his useless squire as an example. That cringing little toady *kick* is an embarassment to squiredom. Useless is it? Embarrassment you say? You whose squire can't even remember the name of his Knight? Let us examine the RECORD Berli for surely the TRUTH shall set us free. Agua entered the 'pool in the approved manner, with style, wit, taunting and polish (the polish was the right color for my boots too, showing foresight). He then acquired a sponsor (mine own humble self) and was annointed a Squire of the CessPool. He then undertook my course of study and instruction for Squires and has acquitted himself well (most of the charges were bogus in any case and there was NO way he could have known the cheerleader was only 17 instead of the 18 she claimed.) He has embarked upon CM battles with others, some in the 'pool, some not, in order to gain his Knighthood. And, most importantly, he has demonstrated his affection and loyalty to me, his liegelord in the following instances: 1. He has sacrificed his body to ensure that my boots would not be soiled. I am told that the scars from the hobnails on my boots are healing nicely. 2. He has offered me cakes prepared by his own hands, regrettably I was unable to partake and insisted that he consume the offering. His bout of stomach flu is nearly over and he should be eating solid food any day. 3. He has gone to the trouble of ensuring that my quarters are shaded properly, shoddy workmanship on the rope did cause severe rope burns which are of little hindrance in his games. 4. He has seconded my judgement on many cases involving 'pool protocol. I attribute this to my weekly, four hour lecture series "The History of CessPool Procedures and Protocol - The Early Days." In point of fact, I estimate that Agua Perdido will be fully trained and capable of taking up his duties as a full fledged Knight of the CessPool within no more than another 6 years of Squiredom. An embarassment Berli? Hardly, a shining example rather, and a squire to be emulated by ALL aspirants to that rank. Joe ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 Originally posted by DekeFentle: I seem to have referenced a Hamsters made calendar. Based on Sharndorfs standing Friday night orders (washing your hair or playing with mother thumb and her four sisters?) how about Tuesday the 27th 17:00? When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. I suppose... but why so far off? What is wrong with Tuesday of next week? Or does that clash with your "Men Who Love Young Boys" club? BTW I have two computers at my house so the prospect of a little friendly, or unfriendly, TCP/IP game on any other gathering is a definite possibility. But for our first gathering I prefer a public place in case I will need to make a quick get away into the crowd. BTW.. Where the hell do you guys want to meet again? And that 17:00 means 5:00 right? Jeff [This message has been edited by jshandorf (edited 03-15-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: An embarassment Berli? Hardly, a shining example rather, and a squire to be emulated by ALL aspirants to that rank. Oh please! Sir Shaw, I would appreciate if you could cease making a shining example of your squire as I've just had breakfast, and *ULP* I don't want to loose it all over my keyboard and monitor. Sir Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 Sir Mace ... jealousy ill becomes you ... but then virtually EVERYTHING ill becomes you so I suppose I shouldn't complain. Joe ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DekeFentle Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 Hamsters Seems to have forgotten he even has a game going with me. Check your e-mail you degenerate, decomposing rodent. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DekeFentle Posted March 15, 2001 Share Posted March 15, 2001 Originally posted by jshandorf: I suppose... but why so far off? What is wrong with Tuesday of next week? Or does that clash with your "Men Who Love Young Boys" club? BTW.. Where the hell do you guys want to meet again? And that 17:00 means 5:00 right? Jeff Next week I will be winging my way to the frozen tundra of Trenton Canada with a scheduled return of early Friday morning. Hence my unavailability for the beginning of that week. I would consider tomorrow but your stated aversion to Fridays interferes with that. Our "Men Who Love Young Boys" club meeting is on the first Wed. of the month you dolt! Incidentally I have been informed, in my capacity as treasurer, that we can not accept your offer of lifetime dues payment. Although we like such enthusiastic adore from our new “Young Boys” I am afraid you will just have to pay once a year like everyone else. Kieran's Irish Pub is located on the intersection of 2nd Street South and 4th Avenue. Just ask the bus driver to let you know when the stop comes up. 17:00 is indeed 5:00 PM. I will forego stepping through that wide open door as it is too easy and obvious. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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