Mace Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka: Mace!, you BeeGee's wannabee<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> There is no nead for namecalling! I have you know I like my music loud and heavy, not soft and limp-wristed!!!!! <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> During a lull in my busy day I have checked my home e-mail and find that, at 1.20 pm on a tuesday afternoon, you are e-mailing turns from home. What is the name of your supervisor young man? I have a report to make. (Edited to spell "stupid, useless, good for nothing, hopeless, lazy bastige" correctly) <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Err, does recreational leave mean anything to you? However, Steve (State's premier) did ring me up saying "Mace, mate! We need you back. Victoria is just not performing at it's best without you!" so I report back to duty tomorrow! I love a short working week!!! Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 It's not yet time for an ÜberLizard Update seeing that some of you are failing to roll over on command as you previously were wont to do and some of you, including the posterboy for the tactically inept, Moriarty, have apparently had synthetic tactical implants installed during your holidays. No matter, as I have the ability to modify my game playing style in an almost chameleon-like manner (although only the most insipid SSN would confuse a goanna for a chameleon - but I digress) and will begin to zig where you expected me to zag. Then, in green scaly blur, I will be upon you and will teach you the meaning of true pain. Now, let me just take a moment to say that JoePshaw is a low-down, game-hacking, multiple-hyphenated piece of gutter trash. How could a M4A1(76)W possibly miss three shots on a piece of Teutonic crap before being taken out by the same without a serious bit of coding tomfoolery? I ask you. Contrary to his reported reason for absence above, Mace confided in e-mail with me that he is home for the week on a combination stress/repetitive strain leave from the Victorian Department of Oxymorons. We may actually be witness to the very first mental breakdown here in the pool soon once OGSF views our next movie. I haven't seen it yet, but predict it will throw him into a sputtering, dribbling even more incomprehensible rage. Who needs tanks when you have a 251/9, Jimmy? Finally, for all you lurkers out there, I should soon be finished humiliating a certain big-girls blouse and will be ready to chuck him to Satan which may leave room on my dance card for that prophylacsis I have been putting off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Goanna: Finally, for all you lurkers out there, I should soon be finished humiliating a certain big-girls blouse and will be ready to chuck him to Satan which may leave room on my dance card for that prophylacsis I have been putting off.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Are your, by chance, refering to HoldyourDK? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 I am indeed referring to him, but prefer to use the moniker we stuck him with at dinner since he is a slow-turn-returning wussy lurker. Plus he doesn't understand it. Hence, I shall call him big-girls blouse. He only has a M4(76) left in our game that also appears to be out of HE, so he should have surrendered ages ago. But then again, you guys never accused him of being smart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Goanna: But then again, you guys never accused him of being smart.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Actually, I thought we refered to him as a complete idiot, and obviously light in the 'got a pair' department. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 well since the peng thread is once more near its end (I can hear it coughing up pflem) EMAIL SPAM TIME. why? cuz I hate you all and this is my only way of anoying the bloody crap out of you all. so, not to waste my time BITE ME ---------- email starts here ---------- This cracked me up. First, the poem, then someone else's response. Pass the pie! The following is a poem made up entirely of quotations from George W. Bush. The quotes have been arranged, for aesthetic reasons only, by Washington Post writer Richard Thompson. MAKE THE PIE HIGHER by George W. Bush I think we all agree, the past is over. This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses. Rarely is the question asked Is our children learning? Will the highways of the internet become more few? How many hands have I shaked? They misunderestimate me. I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity. I know that the human being and the fish can coexist. Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream. Put food on your family! Knock down the tollbooth! Vulcanize Society! Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher! ... and the response: I think it's terrible to make fun of Our President by twisting his words in this manner. Make the Pie Higher in deed! It's perfectly clear to everyone who doesn't subscribe to those left wing conspiracy papers like the NY Times and Washington Post that our President was issuing an Executive Order that legalizes Pies containing Medical Marijuana. Of course, this was only after extensive scientific research proved that second hand marijuana smoke was hazardous to others, but pie crumbs were not dangerous at all! So in a kinder/gentler/healthier/scientificer way - Our President has found a way to ease the pain of those poor souls with seriousfull medical conditions without endangermenting the health of others. Praise God. AND he's been able to do this in a patriouticfull way that will ALSO help to simulate the looming economy! After all, besides brotherhood...what could be more Americana than Cannabis Pie?! The Oakland Cannabis Club will soon be rolling in dough - - AND THAT, my lets-polk-fun-at-our-President-at-the-expense-of-our-national-pridefullness friend - - is what OUR PRESIDENT is all about: Making Money AND Helping People. Sure some of those people are often very close to Our President - but don't you want to help people that you know and love? Why should Our President be any different from you? I think it's high time that we all start acting growed up and stop poking fun at Our President. Rarely do people stop and ask yourselfs - "Are that really necessary?" I don't think sow. Sincerefully yours, J. ---------- email ends here ---------- now was that so rough? if so.. GOOD! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 Speaking of idiots from the deep south of Wisconsin, when's bauhaus going to send us that map for our next clash of the tactically superior and heavy in the "got a pair"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Goanna: Speaking of idiots from the deep south of Wisconsin, when's bauhaus going to send us that map for our next clash of the tactically superior and heavy in the "got a pair"?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> How the Hell should I know? Most of the time we have to remind him what his name is. Definitely not the brightest bulb in the chandelier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>In the words of Goanna: Now, let me just take a moment to say that JoePshaw is a low-down, game-hacking, multiple-hyphenated piece of gutter trash. How could a M4A1(76)W possibly miss three shots on a piece of Teutonic crap before being taken out by the same without a serious bit of coding tomfoolery? I ask you. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> And I'LL answer you. First, I deny that I have ever been in a gutter ... well while sober anyway. Second as to your "coding" question, I refer you to that cavalry genius of the South (we'll ignore his political and moral ... and ethical ... and racial ... and, well you get the idea, I'm just talking MILITARY genius) Nathan Bedford Forrest who said "Get there first with the most" ... or some variant of that. He did NOT say, "Get thar firstest with the mostest." The point, dear Goanna is that my lad was in place with engine idling away while your Sherman managed to MOVE into his line of fire with it's turret aimed elsewhere. What's surprising is that my lads allowed you to get ANY rounds off, but my lads were no doubt stunned that any allied tank would do something that dumb! In short, I don't NEED to hack any code when my opponent creates the same result all by himself. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 Decisions, decisions, decisions, here we are at page 11 and nearing the Magic 300 number and we need to decide what to do next. The last time it worked pretty well with Lorak blessing a thread title, but MadMatt is back and we DON'T want to annoy him. OTOH, what do we care if he likes the thread title or not? So ... I'll get the ball rolling with my suggestion which is a follow-on to my previous thread title: What is the Sound of One Peng Challenging? Now remember lads (yes, yes and lasses too) the thread must be started by a Knight and it must contain a GOOD version of the rules ... modesty forbids my suggesting that MY version was the best but ... Lorak can bless the title or MadMatt can jump in with both feet and tell us we're all doing it wrong and he will, BY GAWD, bless ALL thread titles ... in which case he shouldn't have gone on vacation even if he DID enjoy the hell out of it and so there. Speaking of which, I surely hope that some 'poolers are involved in CMBB by THIS time. How can BTS have a new version without OUR input? I can see it now: Steve: Charles, did you find the correct slope on the hull armor for the T-34 76B-13a/verdad with fuzzy dice? Charles: Yes Steve, I've verified that it was face hardened to a bertinelli of ... PENGER: {bursts into room with a round wooden lid that has a noticable ... ambiance): HEY GUYS, check out what I found, a geniune Russian cesspool cover from 1942. Can we use it, huh, huh huh? Joe [ 07-10-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 I think the next title should be 'The Peng Challenge - You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.' But then I'm easily amused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 Hey how's thi for a title: How much PENG can a PENG CHALLENGE CHALLENGE? or the full version: How much PENG can a PENG CHALLENGE CHALLENGE if a PENG CHALLENGE can CHALLENGE PENG? The second one might be too long though. Anyhoo, sod off, hate y'all, blah blah blah... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 If we'd like to pursue Seanachai's (note the lack of boldernity) heresy of attracting losers, then how about: Sex Secrets of the Peng Challenge Thread Revealed! Then again, that might just keep everyone away.... hmmm..... [edited 'cause even I find the notion distressing] [ 07-10-2001: Message edited by: Iskander ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 Seems like I farkled something up when I tournament saved the game, oh evil one. I'll have the actual thing to you tonight. remember that you are dealing with the profoundly inept. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Johnson-- Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 "50 Ways To Leave The Whitehouse" The problem is the Republicans she said to me The answer is easy if you have Strategery I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free There must be fifty ways to leave the Whitehouse She said it's really not my habit to intrude Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued But I'll repeat myself at the risk of being crude There must be fifty ways to leave the Whitehouse Fifty ways to leave the Whitehouse Just slip out the door, George Make a dead run, Son Just don't forget Dick, Slick And get yourself gone Hop on the bus, Lush You don't need to discuss much Just drop off the key, please And set us all free She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain Maybe someday the Supreme Court will make you smile again I said I appreciate that and would you please explain About the fifty ways She said why don't we both just sleep on it tonight But if you pack now you could be on the road at first light And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right There must be fifty ways to leave the Whitehouse Fifty ways to leave the Whitehouse Just slip out the door, George Make a dead run, Son Just don't forget Dick, Slick And get yourself gone Hop on the bus, Lush You don't need to discuss much Just drop off the key, please And set us all free. George W. Bush: Don't blame me, I voted with the majority! Actually I voted Harry Brown...Beer for anyone who actually knows who he is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>George W. Bush: Don't blame me, I voted with the majority!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well, so did the majority, but let's leave the politics for some other thread. Reminds me of my favorite WW2 book "Somebody's Stepping on my Cloak and Dagger" about the "exploits" of an OSS man. At one point the OSS instructors were trying to see how the trainees would deal with liquor so they got them well lubricated and started a discussion. One of the questions asked was "What shall we do with hard core Nazi's after the war." Heaven knows what they were trying to discover with it but one of the trainees blurted out, "I don't wanna talk about large bore Nazis, I wanna SING!" The point of that long and rambling story? Not much more than my usual except ... (1) Mr. Johnson is a large bore and (2) The CessPool is for drunks, not for politicians. Luckily Lawyer qualifies on BOTH counts so he can stay. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 Thank god THAT travesty is not our new home! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 H. Browne is the perinneal Libertoid candidate... you own me a beer. Now lets move off this subject (sorry for dragging it out, but I did want that beer). Any other Thread starters ready? I'd hate for Pshaw to host again...he's collecting these things like his Mormon Wives . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 Ahhhh, Sir Achin', although my hatred of your gibbering corpus knows no bounds in this (or indeed any other) plane of existance, I must thank you for letting me relive the Circus Stupiditus that was CPT STRANSKY of old. I am sitting in my cubicle chuckling to myself whilst rereading that fine stewpot of babbling dementia. Thank you, you great twit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Iskander: H. Browne is the perinneal Libertoid candidate... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I thought he was that magician in those kids books. Both have about the same shot to reach the Whitehouse. A small update. Dalem has fallen to my victorious defenders of the Fatherland. This really was never at issue, because unbeknownst to my unesteemed opponent, I have his dog's ears. These ears are a powerful mojo, which basically means that I own Dalai Lama. The ears were first taken from dalem by a former member of the 'Pool, whose name remains now only as a legend to scare small children. Yes, I speak of Croda. You assorted dippers and pissboys may think that Croda never really existed; however, he once posted here with a frequency to rival Panty Liner. His posts were true works of vicious, blue collar art. His game, unfortunately, could not match the hype. It was in the glory days of the MBT that one formerly known as JDmorse let slip the Croda of war, and I found myself locked in mortal combat. But this was no ordinary combat, it was a battle sent from on high by the Knight of the Pool/Betagod rune (genuflect to my former liege lord). The name of this battle: Croda Marlow Yes, fellow 'Pooligans, look in awe. I alone among the resident Knights of the 'Pool have a scenario from the master named after me. Part of the "A Matter of Honor" Scenario Pack in fact. Others may be older, wiser, or better at CM, but I alone have been so honored. In any event, after a glorious victory over Croda, I took possession of the grisly trophy, dalem's dog's ears. The bottom line: Marlow Win Dale Evans Lose Also Sir Lorak, in a review of the Tome, I noticed that you appear to have missed my victory over Speedy that occurred during your hiatus. So, I'll add: Marlow Win Sir Speed-a-lot Lose In other news, I will be away until next Tuesday. I may or may not get turns out tonight. [ 07-10-2001: Message edited by: Marlow ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stalin's Organ Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 What's all this c**p? After a wonderful restful night's sleep in which I dream of my enemies' tanks blowing up all over the place and hear the wails and lamentations of his dying troops I wake up to a nightmare of POLITICS on the Peng Thread? And it's not as if they even rhyme! It's truely pathetic and disgucting how far some people have sunk - they've made it to the bottom of the pool, tunneld throught the nutrient rich muck they found there and continued on downwards! You know you might have found the secret weapon to chase all us Uber-unbeatable SSN conquerers out of here after all........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stalin's Organ Posted July 10, 2001 Share Posted July 10, 2001 Oh yeah, and my contribution to eth new thread shall be for you all to ignore the following truly superb thread title: This Peng is depriving a challenge somewhere of an idiot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted July 11, 2001 Share Posted July 11, 2001 PBEM Update Fieldmarshall continues to amaze with his tactics, which can only be described as... unusual. After my upsetting a few of his troops with the 4.2 mortars, he moved them back a bit towards the map corner, as though this would protect them. This has enabled me to spot another of his vehicles, a Wespe. His infantry is now gazing towards Berlin. I then felt compelled to use the mortars to counter his imminent 150mm rocket barrage, even though I suspect he has as much chance of hurting himself as of hurting me. The enemy FO is now cowering in a nearby building. Meanwhile, he has gamily send his weapons platoon HQ forward into my small barbed wire emplacement to get killed whilst exposing my positions. He's not far away from tripping a couple of ambush markers, but I shall cancel them and see if a 2in mortar can put him off. On his right flank, he rolled his Panther and three 251/9's forward with his other two platoons in case I shelled them... and then turned them around and rolled them back. I may be able to get a rear penetration on the Panther, assuming he returns the file. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted July 11, 2001 Share Posted July 11, 2001 I'll go with Goanna here, even if he's a cold-blooded scaly life-form with large gnashing teeth. It's time this thread was highjacked back to Australia, so how about: Throw another PENG CHALLENGE on the barby. I also expect the other aussies here to submit a title choice, so Speedy, Stuka, Goanna, OGBF, put your thinking caps on and come up with something will ya? Mace [ 07-10-2001: Message edited by: Mace ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stalin's Organ Posted July 11, 2001 Share Posted July 11, 2001 Which just begs a repsonse along the lines of "Hey doll, have I got a lump of meat for you....."! Mind you that's what passes for sophisticated conversation in Aussie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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