Marlow Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by (unbolded) Pencil Wiener: who are you, what do you want, and what the hell is that supposed to mean?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Pencil Wiener, I think you need to up your Ritalin prescription, as your ADD is kicking in again. If anything stays in your little mind for more than a fraction of a minute, I'd be surprised. You are obviously the product of our fine public school system, where history and tradition are ignored unless it is "the contributions of crossdressing sheepherders thought the ages." You have failed in the first essential task for all SSNs such as yourself, which is to DO A SEARCH! Once you have read the past incarnations of the MuthaBeautifulThread *crosses and genuflects* and gleaned the wisdom from the Cesspooligans who have gone before, then you will be ready Grasshopper. As for your questions: who are you? Who cares? what do you want? For all SSNs, but especially you to kindly GET THE HELL OUT. what the hell is that supposed to mean? It means that the French are lunatics, particularly PushBroom who I still have not forgiven for his premature granting of squireosity on such an undeserving pool floaty as you. [ 06-06-2001: Message edited by: Marlow ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 Look at the outfit Mace got me for my birthday! =D Someone here dared me to post this a while ago and I figured since it's my birthday and I'm a bit more intoxicated than usual (courtesy of the St. Pauli Girl) . . . what the hell. Moderators, ban me if you must. =D http://www.fluffkitty.com/ssfrau.jpg Kitty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 Happy Birthday Kitty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stalin's Organ Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kitty: Look at the outfit Mace got me for my birthday! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ME-OWWWWW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 A cartoon?!?! Damn. The boys and I were hoping for a little more than a 'cartoon'. I know David of Aitken is now running for a paper towel but he's into that sort of thing. thanks anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barticus Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: Oh boy. I thought I was the worst this could sink to. I stand corrected. Philly, may I? Thank you. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Seeking permission from your betters oh Piddle Leaker? If I recall arightly, the last time I was forced to converse with someone of your infitessimal (half) wit, I was wiping the dew off the end. Get thee hence from mine sight and with great haste for I await the acceptance of challenge from a worthwhile opponent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 Damn. There goes Kitty makin' me feel all funny again.... By the way, should I ever need to address our resident spaz case panzer leader, I'm going to refer to him simply as "panties". Normally I'd try to butcher his moniker in a slightly witty, multi-syllabic, "oh he must mean so and so" kind of way (like 'lenin's piano'), but frankly, in this case why bother? "panties" is the kind of name that someone like panties deserves, and so "panties" he shall be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barticus Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem: Damn. There goes Kitty makin' me feel all funny again.... By the way, should I ever need to address our resident spaz case panzer leader, I'm going to refer to him simply as "panties". Normally I'd try to butcher his moniker in a slightly witty, multi-syllabic, "oh he must mean so and so" kind of way (like 'lenin's piano'), but frankly, in this case why bother? "panties" is the kind of name that someone like panties deserves, and so "panties" he shall be.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Agreed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 All right, that's quite enough old chaps. I find the use of the name "panties" to be offensive to any (wo)men out there who happen to wear them. Plus, it places an emphasis on that area of the anatomy which I am attempting to steer clear of (in casual conversation that is -- tee-hee.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stalin's Organ Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Barfandcuss: I await the acceptance of challenge from a worthwhile opponent.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> So I guess you're going to go all blue in the face and fall of your high horse soon.....splash.......yep......there you go. What on earth gives you the idea that anyone here considers you worthwile? Having you sitting around and making the place look untidy is an insult even to the Cesspool crowd that usually makes this place look untidy...not to mention the smell........ If you want a challenge then here's one - GET A LIFE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roborat Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Wildman: And then in the spirit of the original Peng Challange the Air Force has decided that three weeks in Canada would be FUN! The sodding bastards. I sure that the Canadians located around Cold Lake have not heard of the telephone let alone the Internet. I may be away for three weeks, which considering the verbal diahrea I waded through from Pantyninny is a blessing. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well, going to my home town for Maple Flag are you??? have fun. By the way, just so you americans don't repeat your mistake from the first Maple Flag exercise, June in Cold Lake is usually about 35 to 30 degrees celcius (figure it out yourself, just think hot), so there is no need to come outfitted in winter gear, as I saw back then, when the first confused looking techs wandered off that C-130 on a 33 degree day (about 80 your system), wearing heavy winter parkas and boots, it was priceless. Just so you know, we do have telephones, some of them even have buttons, not a dial, and the base has fibre-optic (I know, I hit it once drilling a testhole over on 419 Squadrons hanger) so you won't have any internet problems. We do have indoor plumbing, which I'm sure you will find a refreshing change from your current backyard system. And, just so you know, the igloos have all melted. Things to watch out for: Mosquitos the size of Seagulls, Bears on the back nine (it's hacked out of virgin [don't bother bauhaus] bush, and man eating Cougars (human type, although real ones have been seen occasionaly) in the bars. The local lake contains a sea monster, so don't go in swimming if the locals aren't (also, the lake is well named). I may be up there working during the flag, if so, I will try to look you up, I figure you shouldn't be too hard to find, just look for the grounded fighter spread out in pieces all over the tarmac (my brother works for Cubic, so you will likely run into him, although I have warned him, so he might be able to avoid contact with you). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 Lorak, get out yer infernal mallet at scribe thusly: That gamey, end-game-rushin’ (not Russian, CM2 ain’t out yet), Churchill-loving, pseudo-Celt Senility has managed to eke out a draw – 50 somefink (me) to 40 somefink (him) – against the valiant defenders in feldgrau, commanded most aptly by himself, Moriarty. Thus ends the ongoing plethora of losses to that wacked out Minnesotan. It was a winter battle on terrain with smallish hills, not too many trees and a couple of buildings at a crossroad. The valiant German defenders had some decent quality fallschirmgerbils backed by a platoon of SMG-HMG guys. And there was a smattering of onboard arty to make life miserable for those execrable Brits. Moving headlong toward the valiant ones were Brit infantry, Crommies, 3 Churchills and a halftrack or two. Senility’s flanking force was rendered toothless as an array of hardware on “gun hill” opened up early on in the game. Cancel the Crommie, and a couple of other vehicles. The 75mm IG (which survived until T-28) supported by MGs kept the flanking infantry at bay. The boys in brown didn’t cross the midline of the map until after T-20 as the advance platoon of FJs and a piddling 57mm ATG slowed up the main body of his advance. These stalwarts were supported by the FJ platoon at the far VL, which never was challenged. The first Churchill to raise its ugly turret was neatly dispatched by an ambushing ‘schreck. As Senility’s troops moved into range, a 105mm HOW on the back of the map opened up on INF advancing over rough ground. Senility informed me at T-29 that one of the 105 rounds skipped on the rough ground and slammed into a building downmap, killing half his FO team that was attempting to rain death and destruction on gun hill. (hehe). That disrupted his fire mission for approx. 4 turns. Senility managed to take an outlying large VL, defended by a platoon. He also had moved up troops (squad and HQ) in a small, light building about 30m from a large VL, which I held (gamey, end rush). The 105mm HOW was still available for use as his mortars on that side of the map couldn’t hit a bull in the butt with a 2x4. The 105mm had no LOS to the building, which was obscured by a small rise. I targeted the crest of the hill ... hoping for either a shot to go long or the “skipped” shot like before. The AI gods smiled upon my efforts. Approx. 10 secs into T-30, the house goes boom, the HQ is dead and the few remaining squad members are gunned down. Don't know if the shot skipped or went long, but in the end that doesn't really matter. Mebbe I should have set the turns at 20. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 Lorak? Hello, Lorak, are ye out there? Me's greatly a-feared for Lorak's absence. In any event, Lorak, please scribe thusly (and soon, damnit man!): MrSpkr; Wussy, panties-type draw. Leeo; Valiant pull-it-out-of-the-hat-(pull-it-out-of-something)-type draw against overwhelming levels of multiple postings of useless drivel. So, MrSpkr obviously needs more instruction. Oh EVIL ONE? Oh, Evil Incarnate Berli? Wouldst thou kindly send a scenario set-up to one or another of us to start the glorius slap-battle-of-retribution? We'd be ever so un-grateful. Prepare to die, you Spkr of dross and inconsequentialalities! Edited to confuse the hell out of the SSN's who have not the concept of an uncoherent thought. [ 06-06-2001: Message edited by: Leeo ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holman Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: [QB]Awww Cripes, how did I happen to attract the attention of a stupid newbie GIT?? Dis Donc! (French appreciation day, y'all) Okay GIT (for rhat is what I dub you, for now and all eternity) expect your quick demise to be in that porn-filled trash-heap you call an "Inbox" tonight.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> (Checks watch) dum dee dum dum dee dum... (whistles) (checks watch again) (checks mailbox) Nope, nothin'... (Somewhere nearby, the small shadow of a chicken darts nervously from one mound of cess to another) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 GIT, below is a transcript of the email I sent you a while back: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>All righty then mate, you want to play a game? Okay, well prepare to lament the death of your sons and fathers for we are about to embark on a path of destruction unknown outside the sick world of the Mutha Beautiful Thread. Some people call it the Twilight Zone, but to others, it is simply Cordaburg. It is time to meet yer maker. Jason Barnes a.k.a. Panzer Leader <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I speak sooth, so please back out now if you are feint of heart, weak of knees, or yellow of belly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: All right, that's quite enough old chaps. I find the use of the name "panties" to be offensive to any (wo)men out there who happen to wear them. Plus, it places an emphasis on that area of the anatomy which I am attempting to steer clear of (in casual conversation that is -- tee-hee.)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well, panties, seems I must tend to you sooner than I'd hoped, much like a boiling post-burrito evacuation that fools you into thinking you can make it through a post-lunch conference call. Your new label is only offensive to yourself, which bothers me not. And the only "emphasis" is to be found in your late-night cable-trained mind. Like cattle for food and shoes, SSNs are bred for one thing - to rassle other SSNs in the muck while the rest of us bet on you. Go pick on someone in your own Phylum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Leeo: So, MrSpkr obviously needs more instruction. Oh EVIL ONE? Oh, Evil Incarnate Berli? Wouldst thou kindly send a scenario set-up to one or another of us to start the glorius slap-battle-of-retribution? We'd be ever so un-grateful. [/QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh, I think I can cobble something up later tonight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Phan Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Barticus: snipped for the sake of brevity and sanity <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> My dance card is full. Don't mind Panzerleader. He is like a ****su gard dog. He piddles all over the rug but we think he's cute. (cute like an excrement stain on a sun dress) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 Wee-Ho, I shall burn your SS monkeys, you poor excuse for a fireman's hose. Your forces will be drek and you will be a pathetic unhoopy dude. Grok me? In other battles - wildthang and I are locked in a bitter death struggle that involves him charging across lots of open ground, much to his dismay. He also is down to one tank - and I have it in my sights. speedbuggy and I have traded tanks. He is fumbling about like a sixteen year old boy in the back seat of his parent's car trying to unhook a bra by touch for the first time. My über-troopers are glad he fired, revealing his position. He will die soon. Mace troops are learning the Die-a-Lot™ technique. He has lost at least a company so far. There will be more. Iskander has finally taken our beloved Building-O-Death®. Final tally? Him - 72 confirmed deaths. Me - 24. My tactic of just letting Missedchances play his normal game is paying good dividends, methinks. Fillies is awol, apparently traumatized by his team's two game losing streak. Send me a file, you git, that I may continue killing you in abundance. Danish Bacon, overwhelmed with the six games he is playing, has thus far refused my challenge. I should have known better than to expect a stuffy English kanigget to actually put forth some effort in his pathetic little life. He is comparable to the grime that accumulates in a horse's hoof after a day of wandering through the corral - a nuisance to be scraped off and discarded. The rest of you should go sniff your shoes. [ 06-06-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BilgeRat Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 Aaaarrgh! Cap'n tha bilge is particularly odious on this voyage and may have to be pumped. The ships surgeon says the health of the crew is at stake. Some reports from the scurvy dogs in the midshipmen's berths: Panties is inciting the crew to mutiny and licentiousness. If he is not flogged soon I fear he will be "lost overboard" thanks to the disgust of his messmates. Some snippets overheard from Panties on this voyage: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>What was that disturbing de smooth glasslike surface of my pool?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Panties suffers delusions that he is the Cap'n, inciting mutiny, thankfully ignored by the crew. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Hey YK2, you know, in a way, you are kinda like my sister, what with Paw and all. I still wouldn't mind seeing you naked though.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Smutty. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Geez, Sis you sound like you have a crush on him or something. That is, to put it mildly, Grody. Why don't you forget playing the Islander and welcome your new boyfriend to the club? Maybe he can se you naked, humph!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Inanity.."present!" Scintillating wit.."absent" <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Awww Cripes, how did I happen to attract the attention of a stupid newbie GIT??<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Spends time gazing in mirror. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Who are you, what do you want, and what the hell is that supposed to mean?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Totally ignorant of the traditions of the service. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You must be one of the knights who say "Nee!"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Subtle! <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Plus, it places an emphasis on that area of the anatomy which I am attempting to steer clear of (in casual conversation that is -- tee-hee.)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> More of the same. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The Self-Proclaimed Thread-Master of the Official Unofficial CM2 FAQ<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Wears his abject failure as some sort of badge. Is it any wonder Cap'n that Panties is detested by his shipmates, Seaman Phan declares he is cute but sodomy in the King's navy is a hanging offence. Organ grinder was pressganged when we made port in kiwiland and has all the traitorousness and depravity his countrymen are known for. He has been witnessed in traitorous consultation with the enemy plotting a cowardly attack upon the ship and was overheard declaring HM navy was an "abomination". <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Now for all those pengsters who keep expressing curiosity as to why I'm still here...well it's 'cos of that famous Maori comedian Wittee Repartee (now sadly dceased and much missed). I miss him (sob), and while collectively you're not fit to recycle his shaving foam, you're the best this board seems to be able to offer.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Organ grinder and his bike riding monkey have been sickening the crew with their "comedy" routine. Probably not suprising coming from the nation which invented woolen dental floss but even the hardened mariners of the lower decks develop "seasickness" when Organ grinder appears. Witness this: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Try using some KY-Y2K - alows 4 digits to fit where only 2 did before.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ewww. I fear if the admiral sees any of this on the ship he may decide to disband the crew. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>If you want a challenge then here's one - GET A LIFE<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> More kiwi wit. Ironic. Finally I must discuss the work of former masters mate Mr Spkr. In the past a valuable shipmate, but a shadow of hisself after the taking of the Indomitable in '04 when he was crippled by a musket ball and the surgeon had to amputate all his vowels. He is falling sadly short of the standards required Cap'n and should be invalided out of the service, preferably on some deserted south Atlantic rock. Some examples: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>What, they repossessed his sheep ranch?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Original! <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>SIX whole games? Wow. Don't want you to strain yourself or anything.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Biting Sarcasm! In conclusion if something is not done about these malingerers Cap'n I fear the ships crew will mutiny or the Admiral will see us as a blot on the service and disband us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stalin's Organ Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BilgeRat: Aaaarrgh!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> But nothing much else of note. Have you got another voyage planned soon? Can we help you get on one? Perhaps you could take that sunken chest of yours and get someone to bury it so it won't be found for a hundred years?? we could make a map - "X" marks the spot - and tear it up so that no-one will ever find you. Roll, roll, stumble, stumble, crawl, roll south from the cess pool, then stumble, stumble, stumble, roll, roll west...... [ 06-07-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ] [ 06-07-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BilgeRat: Aaaarrgh! Cap'n tha bilge is particularly odious on this voyage and may have to be pumped. The ships surgeon says the health of the crew is at stake. Some reports from the scurvy dogs in the midshipmen's berths:<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hmm. I have noted the sporadic, and usually tangentially weird intrusions of 'BilgeRat' into our precincts with bemused, if not always impressed, interest. This most recent post, while more of a 'recap' than a challenge, at least shows a grasp of some of our most recent problems. Because the Real World™ has made demands lately, I thought it fit that I absent myself (except for the odd, wry reminder of my presence) so that a new generation might have room to spring up and make their mark upon the Thread of threads, the One, True, Apostolic Peng Challenge Thread. Sadly, what passes for 'making their mark' on the Thread has been the equivalent of small dogs owned by aging spinsters pissing on the bathroom rug. 'Taunting' and 'Wit' have been rudely shoved aside by half-wits eager to carry on monologues with themselves in the guise of challenges, leading to a whole new class of Newcomer stupidity. Gits is hereby designated as 'Gods, Is That Stupid' for all those taunting challenged half-wits (or Twits, as we think of them) who keep flailing about in the Peng Challenge Thread, rolling in their own feces and splashing anyone standing nearby. Now, I don't wish to discourage our latest round of utterly, soddingly useless and preeminently subnormal Gits, but for those of our esteemed collective who are developing carpal tunnel syndrome scrolling past your endless display of how far you can dangle spit from your lower lip before you have to either draw it back in, or deposit it in you own lap, it would be nice if you'd think through a post or two, and try to hit upon something that might amuse us all, rather than continuing to display the begrimed finger you've just extracted from one of your nostrils as an example of your concept of humour. I'm not a judgemental man...no, wait, forget that; I'm an extremely judgemental man, and the judgement I'd pass on many recent posts is: Death. Ours or yours, it matters not, so long as it spares us any further 'call and response' idiocy that does nothing more than reveal a sad reversal of Darwin's theories, while flooding the Thread with the gibberings of those who've been working their way deeper and deeper into an evolutionary box canyon. "Sound Off Like You've Got a Pair" should be modified to include: "And Half a Goddamn Brain". Now then, carry on, I know even the worst of you are capable of better things. [ 06-07-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow: French are lunatics, particularly PushBroom who I still have not forgiven for his premature granting of squireosity on such an undeserving pool floaty as you. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well Marlow (You don't mind that I am not even trying to distort your handle?), it was the very purpose actually... As I said in a Thread now lost, if wits, fun and good spirited posts were the only criteria, I'd Squire Seanachai. But that just wouldn't do it. So, seeing as I am less and less interested in what happen in here, having Pee Wee as a Squire is a kind of legacy. So far I have been served beyond reason since I don't have to even post in here anymore for people to think ill of me now. Do you think I fancy his posts as opposed to yours? No. Do I think it stirs things up a little and that in a little bout of Darwinian selection, SSNs are good in a overall scheme of things? Yes... Thanks for your interrest in PL and please note that I do not vouch for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stalin's Organ Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: Gits is hereby designated as 'Gods, Is That Stupid' for all those taunting challenged half-wits (or Twits, as we think of them) who keep flailing about in the Peng Challenge Thread, rolling in their own feces and splashing anyone standing nearby.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> As a self appointed spokesgit I'd like to point out that if there's feces splashing around then it's your own bloody stupid fault for lurking in a cesspool! <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Now, I don't wish to discourage our latest round of utterly, soddingly useless and preeminently subnormal Gits, <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well that makes a change from the usual uninspiring copy-cat SOD OFF that passes for git-phobia around this place...... Really there's nothing much to inspire a git to do better..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 Important Announcement Involving matters from the Real World™ My monitor has succumbed to the horror of having to display not only your butcheries of the English language and insults to the intellect of a woodlouse, but also your pathetic attempts to emulate a hyperactive three-year-old's idea of military operations. It is currently running on half-speed, and I fear I may soon be stranded in the computerless wilderness. Until my replacement arrives, hostilies are suspended, so you are all granted a few days' reprieve until I may continue kicking you around the battlefield in 19 inches of flat-screen trinitron glory. You are again returned to your previously-scheduled halfwit droolings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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