Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by chrisl:

Now that, Lewis, is the stuff you ought to be posting to the Cesspool. None of this "truth" stuff, or football scores.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You gibbering little toe demon, 'Lewis' should not be posting in this thread at all. I'm extremely unhappy with PeterNZer for dragging ****e like that in here, so don't play to it. He harps on 'honour' but he'll play against Lewis. Even a sodding Kiwi should know better. Now leave off, and get down to doing the right thing by letting Peng cave your head in. Thanks for sorting out how to use your email program to attach files.

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:

Well, it seems Kitty the sandbagger has retreated into whatever hole she climbed out of. True, I was offered to play a different game after I had spent a half hour trying to figure out what how I was going to make the best out of a fist full of green Polish troops. I decided to play anyway. As soon as the tide turned and these weakass troops started to pound her she went from 2-3 files a day to zero. I must assume from the silence that she has done the worst kind of surrender......that's right...the kind where the other person doesn't have the decency to even send a surrender file or even tell you that they have quit...Well as any smoker will tell you...nobody likes a quiter

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

As Kitty's self-sworn squire errant, I can tell you that Kitty is in her laboratory, turning out hamstertruppen by the score, and hatching her devious and diabolical scheme for world domination, and that all current games are on hold until she finishes this fine bit of work.

But I will tell her that you're annoyed, and she will be here as soon as she can to deal with you!

If I can make a suggestion, wave goodbye to your gonads lad, because by the time Kitty is finished with you they may not be attached to your body!

And if she doesn't, I might remove 'em myself!

Oh, btw, enjoy life!

Mace

[This message has been edited by Mace (edited 11-19-2000).]

[chrisl]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

I'm extremely unhappy with PeterNZer ...He harps on 'honour'...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Then I will slay him like a chinese gooseberry, the the way I slew the original Peng thread.

PeterNZer, who gets a little too excited in woolen undergarments, I call you out to a duel to your death. Send me a file.

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Slayer of the Original Cesspool Thread.

[Guest Lord General MB]

Soldier,

Chrisl, hiding with your goons in the cesspool (2) eh? Well I found my PIAT! NOW YOU DIE.

Chrisl has been slayed. (How ironic)

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Salute!

Lord General Mr. Bill

Supreme Commander

1st Army

[This Todd]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:

..Well as any smoker will tell you...nobody likes a quiter

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Nobody likes a whiney lamer with an inflated sense of self worth either.

But that never stopped you, did it?

-- Todd

[Kitty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:

Well, it seems Kitty the sandbagger has retreated into whatever hole she climbed out of. True, I was offered to play a different game after I had spent a half hour trying to figure out what how I was going to make the best out of a fist full of green Polish troops. I decided to play anyway. As soon as the tide turned and these weakass troops started to pound her she went from 2-3 files a day to zero. I must assume from the silence that she has done the worst kind of surrender......that's right...the kind where the other person doesn't have the decency to even send a surrender file or even tell you that they have quit...Well as any smoker will tell you...nobody likes a quiter

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The only things crawling out of any holes around here are the gerbils that are emerging from your butt about as fast as the semen therein is, and just slightly slower than the diarrhea that's spewing from your mouth.

I'm not playing you for three reasons:

1) As previously stated. I do not associate with liars.

2) I blocked from my e-mail account because I got tired of being cussed at and insulted by you and your self-admitted "adolescent mentality."

3) I'm busy with other things.

Anyway, I "surrendered," as you put it after about the 5th turn. If you'll recall at that point I ceased playing carefully and moved everything into an attack. Notcing this you wrote, "Hmm. Getting a little bold aren't we?" followed by "What's the matter? Is (something something something) wrong?" And what did I say, Elkass? What did I say? "No. Just bored." Meaning, "I'm sick of this," "Let's play that other game," "Can we go now?" Duh. Since I also kept offering my surrrender to you every turn thereafter one would have to assume, unless they are you (God forbid), that I had stopped caring and wanted to get this BS over with. Again I say, "Duh." So go ahead and call me what you want and call this your "great victory" or whatvever because I give two dicks in a dog's ass what you think about anything anyway. I don't even read this thread anymore and wouldn't be here know except that Mace said you were an asshole and I should attack you. So there it is. Bye now, you nong.

Kitty =^..^=

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ICQ 8273286

http://www.fluffkitty.com

[chrisl]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lord General MB:

Chrisl listens to Slade

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, I haven't for quite a long time, but maybe I ought to go back and give a listen. Anyone for a bit of metal sing-song

Aaaarrghhhh.

I've become infected. Something in Sneezy's files causes one to..ergh..ack..pffft....start to si..mama weer all crazee now...ack.ouch

(shakes head violently, knocks it against wall).

Ah. Ok. that's a bit better. Yes. Ok. Back to your regularly scheduled bile and pus.

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Slayer of the Original Cesspool Thread.

[Berlichtingen]

Well, well , well another lovely day in the pool. I think it would be good for the pool at this point if one of the lord high moderators would pop in and lock it up.

Have a nice day

[Formerly Babra]

No need for drastic measures.

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I remember it perfectly: The Germans wore grey; you wore blue...

[BFCElvis]

A Great Victory is mine.

(PS Kitty, being serious for a second. Several of your emails did say you were going to surender next turn and you continued to send files that kept the game going so I assumed you were joking when saying you were going to surrender. I'm sorry if I misunderstood you. I'm being serious by the way not sarcastic.)

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What do we do with a terrible liar? Well, Great liars we send into the clergy.

Good liars we groom for politics. Moderate liars we supply with sherrif's badges

and guns, and the bad liars, well, we make them heroin whores. So what the hell

do we do with the Terrible Liars? Well, it seems we turn them into physicists

called "chrisl." Peng

[MrPeng]

I find that when I am in a heated discussion or debate or actual fight with my spousal unit it always helps if I stop things in the middle, take a big deep breath, and in a very moderate and reasonable tone of voice say,

"Honey, have you been putting on weight? That outfit looks a bit tight on you."

This strategy never fails to produce an immediate end to the discussion.

Kitty, have you been putting on weight?

Peng

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"I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head..."

Hamsters/Meeks(!)

[Mark IV]

Normally I would be hastening to heap abuse on LGMB for daring to post here, daring to post anywhere, posting an unfunny post, posting a foolish thread elsewhere, and drawing breath. However, there are very serious matters at hand.

Occasionally the Cesspool springs a leak and HAZMAT teams are dispatched to protect the outside world.

In very rare circumstances, an inverse leak causes the outside world to leak into the Cesspool. This is far worse, because our little wetland is a fragile ecosystem. The last page or so demonstrate that this form of pollution is the greatest threat to our little civilization since the automobile.

The Peng thread is what jdmorses call an "attractive nuisance". If the gate isn't locked, and some microcephalic loser dweeb (as an example only, no offense to our many actual microcephalic loser dweebs) wanders in and drowns, are we liable? No.

Why? Because other jdmorses have established the notion of "assumed risk". If you enter a freeway at 25 mph doing your makeup and talking on a cellphone of your own free will, you have implicitly consented to participate in a high-risk environment.

So hypersensitive prigs with personal agendae, ankle-biting lackwit accomplices, and unfunny and imbalanced persons generally, take note:

The Surgeon-General has determined that the Peng thread, aka Cesspool, may be hazardous to your health and self-esteem, and may cause pregnancy in defective humans.

There. We're off the hook. Post at your own risk. We reserve the right to refuse service, etc.

These thoughts are not directed at any individual, but rather several of them who have been singled out for special treatment. In no way do I minimize the valuable contributions of vagino-americans, groggo-americans, and the many other hyphenates which make up this great land.

The Lord General is fortunate indeed that he is less significant than annoying; to coin a phrase, "not merely dull, but a source of dullness in others". He benefits from appearing at a moment of crisis, so that his pretentious drivel may be overlooked. Compared to whatever a "This Todd" is, he is positively readable.

As we approach our second triennium, we must pause and reflect on the merits of our... ah, screw it. I blame Elvis for all of this; if it wasn't for his incessant whining about TCP/IP, none of this would have happened. I hope Peng uses the big belt with the studs and his name on the back, this time.

[MrPeng]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by This Todd:

I am in love with myself. I think I have a beautiful brain, but really I am just a sac of mucosal membranes oozing slime. Political Science is my bag. But then, since I am a graduate student by trade I do nothing but torture undergrads because my advisor does nothing but torture me and make me do all his work for him. THAT IS MY research he is going to publish. and what will I get out of it? A big fat nothing. Maybe a mention in the uhknowledgemints section. That is why I feel the need to come to the 'pool and waste everyone's time with my imbicilic posting. yup. I am about as useful as a toilet made out of yarn.

yap yap yap wooof woof woof. grrrrr.

-- Todd<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Peng

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"I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head..."

Hamsters/Meeks(!)

[This message has been edited by MrPeng (edited 11-19-2000).]

[OGSF]

It's happenin' agin! On a week day you backslidin' crowd o' jammy bastards'll post feeve pages of tripe, yet on a weekend ye kin barely scratch oot feeve single porsts! And haf o' thaim are fraim snivelling buggerers o' wee animals that ha' leaked in fraim ootside!

Ah want tae knoo who's gettin' their arses kacked and whose makin' the baist excooses fer it! Ah'm nae inturested an anythin' said bah non-squires, kanniggets or lords.

An another thing...Ah've go' ten gams on at the moment, boot Ah've sain more mooves out o' a geriatric Japanese peasant lassie! If'n mah opponent's nae climbin' Ben Everest, they're gaddin' aboot some tank museum in Moscow! Yoo that are laift, send mae a bloody turrrn, ye cowerring swine!

All taigether noo....

Ah'll tak the hee road

Ahnd yoo'll tak the loow road

An Ah'll bai in Pengdom aforrrrrrre ye!

Mae an' mah bonnie...

SANG! Ye furrrtive fondlers o' floofy ferrrets! Didnae mak mae cam o'er therrre!

MacOberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard

[This message has been edited by OGSF (edited 11-19-2000).]

[David Aitken]

Here's a refresher course for veterans and an education for newbies...

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War is about killing people. You give orders which will help to end the war, not orders which will save your men, because your men will only stop dying when the war is over. – D.A.

[Guest Lord General MB]

Sir,

David, you don't have Lord General OR Supreme Comander on that chart.... gheese!

.....he.he......

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Salute!

Lord General Mr. Bill

Supreme Commander

1st Army

[This Todd]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

The Lord General is fortunate indeed that he is less significant than annoying; to coin a phrase, "not merely dull, but a source of dullness in others". He benefits from appearing at a moment of crisis, so that his pretentious drivel may be overlooked. Compared to whatever a "This Todd" is, he is positively readable.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hm. Well, see, I felt that my post was quite easy to read. Succinct. Short. To the point.

However, in the future I'll attempt to use shorter words with fewer syllables for your benefit. Never overestimate the readers.

-- Todd

[Guest YK2]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OGSF:

It's happenin' agin! On a week day you backslidin' crowd o' jammy bastards'll post feeve pages of tripe, yet on a weekend ye kin barely scratch oot feeve single porsts!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

My sentiments exactly,must be bloody great spending each working day hooked up to the net sending out PBEM'S and posting on this thread. 'jammy bastards' INDEED. It's very eerie inside the cesspool on w/e not a soul to be seen or heard, except for that strange looking guy on the far side of the pool, dunno who or what he is, but the stench coming from that direction is so foul I have to keep hooking up to my oxygen supply every 15 min instead of the usual hour.

Strange thing is, I have never seen him around on week days he seems to make himself scarce when the pool is full with the usual crowd of sad no hopers. Hmmmmmm I think its time I approached him.

I begin to walk slowly over to the other side of the pool, last time I made this journey I swam across but the stench of death seeping up through the pool today is more than I can bare, so onwards I walk towards the strange looking being sitting head bowed staring into the pool. I finally reach him,and stammer.

'Hello hope I'm not disturbing you'

he moves slowly and raises his head until he is staring me in the face, ****, what an ugly bastard, the foul smell from him is almost choking me and I grab for my oxygen supply, sorryyyyyyy I stammer, the stench from the pool is very powerful today, tell me 'what's your name"?

In a deep voice he replies.....

'Xeron'..... my name is Xeron.

YK2) Are you a Knight? I was just curious as to why you are only around when the pool is quiet.

XERON) I prefer to be alone, I like to sit by the pool and think of days gone by, happier days when the stench was not so apparent and the only smell of death was when Peng had a tantrum and threw some poor newbie on the fire.

YK2)You know of the great Peng?

XERON) *laughs* Ha, Know him, I made him what he has become today.If not for I, then there would be no Peng and the cesspool would not exist.

YK2) I am curious sir, Seanachai and Berli, do you also know of them?

XERON) I know of everyone that ever dares to enter the cesspool, even the lurkers who dare not speak can't hide from the great Xeron.

YK2)You speak with bitterness sir, are you angry?

XERON) Angry! Angry! I will die angry, I came here to avenge those who overpowered my kingdom, the ruins over to your right, that is where I once ruled, the pool was full of joy then, the newbies so willing to serve those above them, so ready to listen and learn, not like today, when they do nothing but taunt and belittle each other.

YK2) Can I ask..... was it... was it, Peng and his followers who overpowered you?

XERON)YES...... PENG, he was the only one I trusted, the only one I told of the secrets of the pool, of everything I held sacred he was the only person I confided in, but he was greedy he wanted to rule immediately, he couldn't wait, Seanachai was always the clever one, looking back I should have chosen him, he showed so much more respect,Berli, was slighlty deranged, a nice enough guy, but I never could tell if he was actually aware of what day it was, so I chose PENG, and he deceived me, even now I can't speak of what happened back then.

YK2) I am sorry, I shouldn't have come, shouldn't have disturbed you from your peaceful dwellings, I can see how much it pains you to remember, be still, I shall leave you in peace,but one thing before I go, I must let the others know,you say PENG deceived you,and he knows the secrets of the pool,should we fear him then?

XERON)INDEED,you should all fear him, but I shall die soon, I am already in a state of decay so the end is near,when I die the truth will become apparent, PENG will no longer rule,and the true heir will stand up and rule with honour.

YK2) The true heir? is he known to us cesspoolers?

XERON) Oh yes, he is well known amongst you, he speaks in riddles to some, but others know exactly where he is coming from, He is a true leader and at this very moment is awaiting the challenge against PENG.

YK2) Ahhhhh I think I know of whom you speak. I shall return and wait with bated breath. Fear not, when you die, you will be amongst friends, the pool is full of death, but they were good people, just a little weak for Pengs liking, but good people all the same. Its been an honour sir,I am still confused as to why you are here alone, still confused to the ways of the pool, but I am glad we spoke. Goodbye.

I make my way back to my corner of the pool and as I get there I turn just in time to see the dark figure crumble and slide into the pool, OMG........ looks like we shall have some answers soon.

[Lawyer]

ATTENTION CESSPOOL PONDSCUM --

I stoop to appear in this Den of Depravity for the sole purpose of seeking Jackals to vote on who should win the Lawyer's Cup. While you were all here rubbing yourselves in private places to feel better, True Combat occurred in pursuit of the Lawyer's Cup challenge. Now a winner must be chosen by a Florida vote on the Jury of Jackals.

What better place to find suitable Jackals for the Jury than here? Some occasional denizens of this Hemorrhoidal Haven are in fact contestants for the Cup. This is your chance to get even with a cheap shot for all those injustices running rampant in your mind.

Cast your vote with your reasons (if you are capable or reasoning) at the following:

http://www.battlefront.com/discuss/Forum1/HTML/012780.html

Your Pal,

Lawyer

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Only the Lawyer knows what Evil lurks in the minds of men....

[von shrad]

LOL David. That is funny as hell.

**Serious mode On. David my good man you have talent...coming from a person like me who still has not quite mastered the advanced technique of drawing a square.

VS

To the rest of these past couple of pages...Yawn. (except for the Elvis-kitty saga for whom have satisfied my need for ever watching a repetitive soap opera again. I thank you. Now we are canceling the show)

Croda- Still very early but have caught a glimpse of his troops playing gleefully in the snow. Now is not the time nor the place for either gender-correct snowmen(that's NOT where the carrot goes),making frilly little angels, nor no-handed name writing competitions. There's a war to lose damnit.

ps. I have just seen the 'women' you said you are sending forward. ARRRGGHH! I certainly hope that is hot cocoa on her lips and not a mustache like her fathers(or mothers).

Herr Eggbert- Oh poor sod. He has walked his little men into nothing less than fire and brimstone. Awkwardly milling about in a small grove of pre-sighted trees, hugging them ever so cautiously. A recent attempt to push forward for at least a limited success is in the process of being stamped out now. Funny, that group of bloodied flesh moving towards my MLR resembles a mad scientist work slightly more than a unit of soldiers. Oh well.....Must make hamburger of 'em all.

**serious mode just now turned off

Now kiss off,

VS

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

Here's a refresher course for veterans and an education for newbies...

graphic excluded due to space conservation strategies

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oi!

Not relevant here!

I thought we were based on a fuedal military system. Where's the proles, freemen, squires, and the might Kinnnnigits?

Mace

[Chupacabra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

I thought we were based on a fuedal military system. Where's the proles, freemen, squires, and the might Kinnnnigits?

Mace

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Bah, nuts to this D&D wankery, let's get back to basics. Enough blabbering about squires and Knights, and lords and ladies. Next thing you know we'll be talking about our Level 99 paladins. I say, enough! What made this thread great wasn't some sort of imposed feudalistic structure. The Peng thread in its heyday was a pure tauntocracy, where a man was judged on the quality of his taunting ability and nothing else.

I hearby renounce all these artificial, imposed, neo-colonialist frameworks! They only oppress our true taunting strength! I renounce the title Knight, or Kanigwhatever the hell Monty Python-inspired lunacy it is!Down with the system! Up with the tauntocracy!

PENG RAGE!!!

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Grand Poobah of the fresh fire of Heh.

[David Aitken]

Mace wrote:

> I thought we were based on a fuedal military system.

The Army of Peng™ is not affiliated with the Knights of the Cesspool™. The latter is AMPL™ 11896. Get your facts straight.

David

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War is about killing people. You give orders which will help to end the war, not orders which will save your men, because your men will only stop dying when the war is over. – D.A.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

I find that when I am in a heated discussion or debate or actual fight with my spousal unit it always helps if I stop things in the middle, take a big deep breath, and in a very moderate and reasonable tone of voice say,

"Honey, have you been putting on weight? That outfit looks a bit tight on you."

This strategy never fails to produce an immediate end to the discussion.

Kitty, have you been putting on weight?

Peng

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

MrPeng,

I would have to agree!

I have also reminded my wife that she has put on weight whenever we argue, and it does cease the discussion!

It also leaves me rolling in agony on the floor and rendering me unlikely to sire any more children, the result of a skilled surgical strike delivered by the wife's foot!

Mace

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Because although the weather's worse than here in Minnesota, there are no Shandorfs.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Wow.... How completely lame and unfunny that was. I kind of..sort of...giggled. Well, on second thought I think it was just gas.

Jeff