The Peng Challenge: Thread Blunder

[sburke]

Underhanded scum, being the motto of the Shavian House is being played out on the screen before me. Usually his pixel slugs hide behind hedges waiting to shoot men in the back, a testament to the qualities of sburke. However his men are even now starting to eternally prostate themselves in homage before my slowly advancing troops.

Slowly? More like glacial. I suspect the only reason they are moving forward at all has to do with tectonic plate movement. Which brings us to the other point, my men can't help but shoot your guys in the back as they spend most of their time either running away or cowering in a fetal position.

The evil denizens of sburke who dispatched my Stug (deservedly so as they were asleep at the switch)

That is what happens when they sit around doing nothing. My boys on the other hand are alert and gung ho!

It’s frightening to think the possibility once existed for me to be your dad, fortunately for me the guy I was with had the exact change.

what? You been hanging out with donkey? That can be interpreted in so many ways, none of them good....

enough of your prattle, here's the bucket. Bear it with pride man, but bear it quietly. State it boldly in your sig that you now stand in what were once my shoes...and I didn't bother to clean them after chasing donkey all over the paddock.

[sburke]

Mr Voyeur, if I've told them once I told them a thousand times. Those MG teams of yours are supposed to come in the back door and not track mud all over the foyer and living room. So now I've had to go shoot a couple as examples. I'll hope you take this to heart and correct this behavior going forward.

I will give them credit however for having been shot from the front.

[Joe Shaw]

Mr Voyeur, if I've told them once I told them a thousand times. Those MG teams of yours are supposed to come in the back door and not track mud all over the foyer and living room. So now I've had to go shoot a couple as examples. I'll hope you take this to heart and correct this behavior going forward.

I will give them credit however for having been shot from the front.

Well in that case he should promote them ... to Dead MG Team Members 2nd Class.

Your Liege,

Sir Joe Shaw JFLPCT

[ng cavscout]

Quite the use of verbal imagery there Watcher. Really paints a picture of the quality the Shavian house represents. The unflickable boogie is especially apt.

Given your ability with the pen, perhaps not quite as adept on the field if the AAR is to be believed, but one works with what one has, I do think I made a wise(ish) choice in selecting you as a Serf of House Rune.

Your first task on the road to squireship is a discussion of the evolutionary mishaps, missteps, and mistakes leading to such moral and genetic anomalies as Yeknodathon and House Shaw.

Do try and make a decent showing of it against sburke if you can manage it. We do have standards to uphold after all.

[Joe Shaw]

Quite the use of verbal imagery there Watcher. Really paints a picture of the quality the Shavian house represents. The unflickable boogie is especially apt.

Given your ability with the pen, perhaps not quite as adept on the field if the AAR is to be believed, but one works with what one has, I do think I made a wise(ish) choice in selecting you as a Serf of House Rune.

Your first task on the road to squireship is a discussion of the evolutionary mishaps, missteps, and mistakes leading to such moral and genetic anomalies as Yeknodathon and House Shaw.

Do try and make a decent showing of it against sburke if you can manage it. We do have standards to uphold after all.

Standards? You? You're a member of House Rune for the luv of Gawd. And it's the Shavian House you idiot, how many times do I have to tell you? Oh right ... several times before it actually sinks in ... let me make a note of that.

Joe

[Boo Radley]

We do have standards to uphold after all.

SPEWWWWWWWWWWWWPIUTPUTPUHHHHHHPATOOIE!!!

Oh, that was a good one! Coffee over the monitor, the desk, the keyboard! What a freakin' mess!

Standards? House Rune????

Other than developing monumentally unbalanced CM scenarios, you mean? Could we see a list of these standards, please? I'm sure everybody here would benefit from reading them. just grab any one of your half eaten crayons and writ... I mean PRINT them out for us.

Don't want you to hurt yourself.

That's why we're here.

[sburke]

Quite the use of verbal imagery there Watcher. Really paints a picture of the quality the Shavian house represents. The unflickable boogie is especially apt.

Given your ability with the pen, perhaps not quite as adept on the field if the AAR is to be believed, but one works with what one has, I do think I made a wise(ish) choice in selecting you as a Serf of House Rune.

Your first task on the road to squireship is a discussion of the evolutionary mishaps, missteps, and mistakes leading to such moral and genetic anomalies as Yeknodathon and House Shaw.

Do try and make a decent showing of it against sburke if you can manage it. We do have standards to uphold after all.

If the Voyeur is going to match the "standards" of House Ruin , his likely first step is going to be to stop processing turns. So far he has shown standards well above those presented by one knigget of said condemned structure.

To all, the battle has been joined in earnest. I believe our Voyeur's men are less confused now that the available maneuver room has shrunk to manageable proportions and we are now confronting each other at close range. It helps that my men are already positioned on the far end of the map and are squeezing him from the flank as well. Perhaps they will just face the inevitable and surrender now or maybe they will hop on those armored vehicles and drive away as they seem to have no other purpose.

I have also had a talk with my men. Despite my warnings apparently some attended a Russian paratrooper map reading class. Those would be the aforementioned unfortunates Voyeur managed to gun down when they got lost and tried to cut across a cantankerous old coot's lawn. They were not however the ones who dispatched the StuG. That Voyeur's men can't tell the difference between a scoped rifle and a bazooka is not surprising. Perhaps I will demonstrate it's use again. Now if Voyeur has finished comparing me to the various ailments he suffers, perhaps we can get back to this duel.

[Watcher]

.. you now stand in what were once my shoes....

You sewer dwelling, cat litter munching, snot gobbler, don’t you think your grandma misses them?

sburke, your lackadaisical approach to the care of the CessPool is evident for all to see. You’ll see I’ve constructed walls for a little privacy around the drain. Tired of the leering old codgers loitering around it. Also added a mens sign, pay no attention to it and go right on in.

Now on to an exciting action report from our “Green Hell” meeting. He moves some men, I move some men, three shots fired, he moves some men, I move some men, and on ad nausea. As exciting as watching two flies on a turd or similar to sburke’s personality, which is why sburke is such a perfect fit for Shavian House. They're a matching pair. He and Justicar Joe are like having velvet Elvis on one wall and velvet dogs playing poker on the other. Which by the way, is exactly how the grand meeting hall of the Shavian House is decorated from what I understand.

[Watcher]

Your first task on the road to squireship is a discussion of the evolutionary mishaps, missteps, and mistakes leading to such moral and genetic anomalies as Yeknodathon and House Shaw.

Whaaaaaat? You do of course realize the mental anguish imposed upon me in the course of doing this.

If I enjoyed associating with suspenders, creepy non-audible moaning, old man comb-overs, random acts of self-abuse, that old people stench that sticks to your clothes, a house being cluttered with useless crap that they pretend they invented, and interacting with people who are completely devoid of a soul, then this might be enjoyable.

If I wanted to experience pain, I would climb up sburkes ego and jump down to his IQ level. But it is what it is and will pick up a bottle of Royal Crown, make it two, in order to suffer this insufferable chore.

[sburke]

If I enjoyed associating with suspenders, creepy non-audible moaning, old man comb-overs, random acts of self-abuse, that old people stench that sticks to your clothes, a house being cluttered with useless crap that they pretend they invented, and interacting with people who are completely devoid of a soul, then this might be enjoyable.

Excellent post if I must say so. I don't believe I have ever heard such an accurate description of House Ruin since Donkey had that incredibly long, wet and horribly putrid flatulence incident. Beyond it's normal flatulence incidents.

[Joe Shaw]

Excellent post if I must say so. I don't believe I have ever heard such an accurate description of House Ruin since Donkey had that incredibly long, wet and horribly putrid flatulence incident. Beyond it's normal flatulence incidents.

Now sburke I'm getting the impression that you weren't paying careful enough attention during my lecture series, "CessPool Modes of Address and Courtesy."

While it's not a requirement on any member of the CessPool, I certainly recommend it and, as a member of the Shavian House, I know you'll want to carefully consider it.

Once an SSN becomes a member of the CessPool, even with such a lowly rank as Serf, we should no longer mangle their names for our amusement. Once they become a Squire, their name should be bolded as should the names of the Houses ... even a disreputable House like the House Rune. And, of course, references to the Peng Challenge Thread, the M.B.T. or Mutha Beautiful Thread or CessPool should usually be bolded as well.

Therefore, Watcher (spelt but not bolded) should not be referred to as Voyeur ... although I salute the thought. Nor should we refer to the House Rune as House Ruin ... tempting and accurate though that might be.

I know not what course others may take, but I prefer to follow these rules for without rules we are ... uh ... ruleless.

Your Liege,

Sir Joe Shaw JFLPCT

[Boo Radley]

...genetic anomalies as Yeknodathon .

I just read today that more people are killed yearly by donkeys than in airplane accidents.

Makes me wonder when Yeknod's going to get his pilot's license so he can really skew the curve.

[sburke]

Now sburke I'm getting the impression that you weren't paying careful enough attention during my lecture series, "CessPool Modes of Address and Courtesy."

While it's not a requirement on any member of the CessPool, I certainly recommend it and, as a member of the Shavian House, I know you'll want to carefully consider it.

Once an SSN becomes a member of the CessPool, even with such a lowly rank as Serf, we should no longer mangle their names for our amusement. Once they become a Squire, their name should be bolded as should the names of the Houses ... even a disreputable House like the House Rune. And, of course, references to the Peng Challenge Thread, the M.B.T. or Mutha Beautiful Thread or CessPool should usually be bolded as well.

Therefore, Watcher (spelt but not bolded) should not be referred to as Voyeur ... although I salute the thought. Nor should we refer to the House Rune as House Ruin ... tempting and accurate though that might be.

I know not what course others may take, but I prefer to follow these rules for without rules we are ... uh ... ruleless.

Your Liege,

Sir Joe Shaw JFLPCT

Oh quite. I absolutely concur with your inestimable vision and profound clarity. I was simply under the impression that the members of House Rune were misspelling the name with their limited vocabulary. I was under the impression they were following the example of, Stuka, who's moniker very clearly characterizes the annoying high pitched whine and terror that he may actually be approaching. I stand corrected... on the name not the fact of their limited vocabulary. How they are ever able to communicate their intent through a series of grunts, whistles and sounds emitted through various bodily orifices is beyond me, though one thinks perhaps they are able to more clearly communicate with Yeknodathon as they seem to share similar mediums.

[sburke]

sburke, your lackadaisical approach to the care of the CessPool is evident for all to see. You’ll see I’ve constructed walls for a little privacy around the drain. Tired of the leering old codgers loitering around it. Also added a mens sign, pay no attention to it and go right on in.

You do understand that walls around the drain sort of defeats the purpose right? Oh wait I guess not considering you had them installed. I was hoping you would not completely shame the position of Bearer of the Exalted Pissbucket or at least respect the shoes you now wear. In that case may I ask the height of the wall? As Squire of the Shavian House I need to know whether waders will suffice or should we order complete scuba outfits. We prefer not to wallow in our own excrement...apparently unlike denizens of House Rune.

[Watcher]

Your first task on the road to squireship is a discussion of the evolutionary mishaps, missteps, and mistakes leading to such moral and genetic anomalies as Yeknodathon and House Shaw.

Evolution of Yeknodathon and House Shavian

You guys can't even begin to understand biology, let alone understand life. But be that as it may here we go .

Six million years ago the chain of Homo erectus-Homo neanderthalensis-Homo sapiens started. Sometime during that period man pissed in the primordial pool and started the chain of Yeknodathon and House Shavian.

The chain then progressed through the Oligocene Epoch -Miocene Epoch – stages to its current form , which is very recent as within the last 80 years, to KNUKUS DRAGIS DORKUS MAXIMUS. This species can be identified by its low forehead, protruding brow, dull uncomprehending eyes, continuous nasal mucus expulsion, slack jaw with extended tongue, Curved spine, hairy hands and the almost non existent genitalia.

Scientists believe KNUKUS DRAGIS DORKUS MAXIMUS evolved in the way that it did because of their proclivity of :

--Only eating food that danced, as advertised on TV

--Holding hands with each other and whizzing on electric fences

-- Constant fixation with their honey boo boo mouse pads

--Huffing their inhalers for hours at a time

-- Constant and repetitive rubbing in public and private

-- Extensive porn and video game involvement

--Pretending to be cars making appropriate revving noises as they walked along using blinking eyes as indicators for extra authenticity.

--Inventing a weird twitch.--they adopted a bizarre twitch (e.g. flicking the head irregularly, twitching eye or busting out sporadic phlegm expulsion noises) and used these when out in public. Unfortunately for them this became permanent and part of the genetic code .

-- doing karate moves in the running shower with the inevitable result that follows

These and many other factors of like fashion resulted in what we have today the KNUCUS DRAGIS DORKUS MAXIMUS. There aren’t many like them anymore – but just to be on the safe side, they should be castrated anyway.

Edit to add---Justicar Joe should take note that it didn't take me weeks to accomplish the assigned task like sburke. (still waiting)

But then grace should be given for sburkes single digit typing ability and loss of concentration due to his fascination in Vegematic , ab builder, Popiel Pocket Fisherman and other like commercials.

[Nidan1]

I have not seen such a constant flow of drivel since the likes of stikkypixie and Sturmsebber graced us with their unique lack of posting quality. If this is what passes for serfdom these days, well I just cannot describe my disappointment.

At least those two had an excuse, they were Belgians.

[Joe Shaw]

I have not seen such a constant flow of drivel since the likes of stikkypixie and Sturmsebber graced us with their unique lack of posting quality. If this is what passes for serfdom these days, well I just cannot describe my disappointment.

At least those two had an excuse, they were Belgians.

To be sure we haven't seen much drivel lately ... I attribute that to YOUR lack of presence here Nidan1.

So by all means continue to post and that should drive the drivel count up nicely.

Joe

[ng cavscout]

To be sure we haven't seen much drivel lately ... I attribute that to YOUR lack of presence here Nidan1.

So by all means continue to post and that should drive the drivel count up nicely.

Joe

We have, however, seen plenty of Dribble, thanks to your presence oh great and venerable Justicar.

[Joe Shaw]

We have, however, seen plenty of Dribble, thanks to your presence oh great and venerable Justicar.

Shouldn't you be out in the Great North Woods, you know, AWAY from an Internet connection and in the midst of bears and pumas and, can we hope, pissed off Bigfoots ... Big feet ... Whatever.

Joe

[Joe Shaw]

... [snipped ... drivel ... as expected} ...

Edit to add---Justicar Joe should take note that it didn't take me weeks to accomplish the assigned task like sburke. (still waiting)

But then grace should be given for sburkes single digit typing ability and loss of concentration due to his fascination in Vegematic , ab builder, Popiel Pocket Fisherman and other like commercials.

I should first point out that it's the Shavian House, not the other way around. But fourth, my name, should you wish to abide by the convention established long ago, is Joe Shaw ... or Justicar ... either would suffice.

And second, my illustrious Squire, sburke, is an artist ... he'll not throw together some slapdash project just to meet some imaginary time frame like SOME I could mention but won't. Furtherless, you are NOT a Squire and your job duties are strictly and solely carrying the Pissbucket for your betters and acquiescing to games of CM that are thrown your way like a well gnawed haunch of beef. To no one's surprise NG Cavscout has once again overstepped his bounds in giving you a Squire level project.

Joe

[Boo Radley]

But fourth, my name, should you wish to abide by the convention established long ago, is Joe Shaw ... or Justicar ... either would suffice.

Joe

Old Foul Joe, OFG, Pshaw or Joe Xia works too.

Sometimes we just call him Old Smelly.

[sburke]

Sometimes we just call him

We have caller ID here, we won't be answering.

[Nidan1]

We have caller ID here, we won't be answering.

You actually have such high tech telephony gadgets out there on the left coast?

No more flapping an old blanket over a smoky fire for you folks.

[Michael Emrys]

I should first point out that it's the Shavian House, not the other way around. But fourth, my name, should you wish to abide by the convention established long ago, is Joe Shaw ... or Justicar ... either would suffice.

Oh look, Joe Schmo is up on his high horse again.

Michael

[Stuka]

I attribute that to YOUR lack of presence here Nidan1.

I'm afraid that was my fault. Nidan1 has been busy towing his gutted AFV hulks off the battlefield and patting down the turf on the newly dug mass grave for his troops. Individual graves were taking too long to dig as the body count exceeded even his own personal best in cannon-fodder expenditure.

Ergo...I won...a lot.