Hortlund

Frankly I think we should elect him as King (in exile) of the MBT [ April 11, 2003, 03:34 PM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ]

Frankly I think we should elect him as King (in exile) of the MBT [ April 11, 2003, 03:34 PM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ]

HERE HERE! Brilliant idea.

HERE HERE! Brilliant idea.

Good heavens...you saw that?

Good heavens...you saw that?

I need to find a good squire... HA!! AS IF there is such a thing as a good squire. What I meant was, I need to find a squire that is better as a squire than a heap of dung would be. HA! AS IF there is such a thing as a squire that would be a better squire than a heap of dung.

I need to find a good squire... HA!! AS IF there is such a thing as a good squire. What I meant was, I need to find a squire that is better as a squire than a heap of dung would be. HA! AS IF there is such a thing as a squire that would be a better squire than a heap of dung.

What is this Peng Challenge thread they talk of? It is all in their sick minds I tell you. Come let me show you, I have just been there, look, no Peng Challenge thread. Where is this Peng of which they speak? Where is the challenge? Please, it is all in their sick minds. Do not believe them, they are sick. They talk about the "rules" of the CessPool, the Mutha Beautiful Thread, i.e. MBT and the Peng Challenge Thread ...Please...sick I tell you. Do not believe their sick minds. You should all SOD OFF. You should drink cold poison that we serve to you at the gates of the forum. Were you to stick around, despite our best efforts to make you leave, you might consider challenging someone. Challenge someone like yourself, some lowlife, scum sucking newbie (SSN) who wants to get a thrill by actually posting on the MBT. Or drink cold poison. Do NOT challenge ME or any of the Knights of the CessPool, we will laugh at you ... actually we'll laugh at you anyway but you won't get a game so don't try. We MIGHT sic a Squire on you for our amusement and if so you should ... well, amuse us! Sound off as if you have a pair, none of this mamby pamby, mother may I, golly fellows what a swell lot of chaps you have here may I join then CRAP. In doing so, however, do not sound off ABOUT your pair. Leave your personal hang ups, political, sexual, racial and so forth for the General Discussion forum because we don't care. Just good old fashioned personal attacks... Be EXTEMEMLY NICE to the the Ladies of the CessPool or you'll incur our wrath and get sent to Coventry and never be mentioned again. Show some respect for those who have MADE it here since you have NOT and likely enough never will. Now go away. Do not listen to their sick lies. Because they are sick in their heads I tell you. [ April 10, 2003, 03:08 PM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ]

What is this Peng Challenge thread they talk of? It is all in their sick minds I tell you. Come let me show you, I have just been there, look, no Peng Challenge thread. Where is this Peng of which they speak? Where is the challenge? Please, it is all in their sick minds. Do not believe them, they are sick. They talk about the "rules" of the CessPool, the Mutha Beautiful Thread, i.e. MBT and the Peng Challenge Thread ...Please...sick I tell you. Do not believe their sick minds. You should all SOD OFF. You should drink cold poison that we serve to you at the gates of the forum. Were you to stick around, despite our best efforts to make you leave, you might consider challenging someone. Challenge someone like yourself, some lowlife, scum sucking newbie (SSN) who wants to get a thrill by actually posting on the MBT. Or drink cold poison. Do NOT challenge ME or any of the Knights of the CessPool, we will laugh at you ... actually we'll laugh at you anyway but you won't get a game so don't try. We MIGHT sic a Squire on you for our amusement and if so you should ... well, amuse us! Sound off as if you have a pair, none of this mamby pamby, mother may I, golly fellows what a swell lot of chaps you have here may I join then CRAP. In doing so, however, do not sound off ABOUT your pair. Leave your personal hang ups, political, sexual, racial and so forth for the General Discussion forum because we don't care. Just good old fashioned personal attacks... Be EXTEMEMLY NICE to the the Ladies of the CessPool or you'll incur our wrath and get sent to Coventry and never be mentioned again. Show some respect for those who have MADE it here since you have NOT and likely enough never will. Now go away. Do not listen to their sick lies. Because they are sick in their heads I tell you. [ April 10, 2003, 03:08 PM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ]

oo ooo almost 300... HERE is the new one [ April 10, 2003, 03:05 PM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ]

In case you have been wondering where I have been lately... SOD OFF AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS Anyway, I should be back to my semi-normal-pbem-turn-mail-frequency sooner or later. Amor Vincit Omnia There you have it.

The Last Crusade Chapter 1 A long time ago, the proud people of Rome had conquered all of the civilized world. Through numerous wars and conflicts the legions had secured the Pax Romana, the peace of Rome. At this time, the eldest knew about an old country far north of the mighty Rome. This county could be found beyond the wild dangerous forests of the Germanic tribes, and across an ocean of water that was neither salt nor sweet. A country as beautiful and sweet in the summers, as unforgiving and harsh in the winters. Some say it was these two opposites that had shaped the people living there. From the warmth of the summer they became happy and peaceful, from the cold of the winters they became hard and unyielding. This combination led to them being equally proficient in the way of war as the way of the trader, and no fear would live in their chest. No king could force his rule on this people, instead they chose their king from amongst their own ranks. This king would only stay in power for as long as he was accepted by his people though, for if he was found to be a weakling or a tyrant, the people would soon replace him. For centuries this country lived in peace, and the people thought themselves to be the luckiest people in the world. Protected by mighty forests and cold oceans they were safe from intruders. Their country was generous to them, giving them rich harvests and plenty of game. The mighty forests and mountains gave them enough resources to live a rich life. The oceans and rivers provided food and transport. Soon however, they became restless. Constantly taking their small ships further and further out from land, their curiosity driving them to expand their horizons. As the might of the Roman Empire declined the people in our country discovered new ways to travel across the oceans. Fast agile ships were built, ships that could carry men far across the cold unforgiving waves. Soon they would discover new lands to settle, and new routs of trade. While their neighbors in the west and south would wage wars of rape and pillage, our people sought the peaceful way of trade and exploration. Their reputation grew as they came into contact with other great countries, and they were met with respect and fear. In other news today... GAMEY UPDATES Vadr has just been taught a valuable lesson on the folly of using T-34s to attack ÜberKingTigers from the front. Try again little one. Nidan1 is trying to control his Waffengrenadierübertruppen against my disorganised peasantpixelsoviets in the Kharkov Operation. As the first battle draws to a close, Nidan1 has learned some basic rules of warfare such as dont run in the streets when there are Maxim MGs around and Open ground can be your enemy if you try to run across it while others are shooting at you I am happy to report that even though he has several battalions of Überinfantry my outnumbered and unfit peasantpixels have prevented him from gaining a foothold in the outskirts of the city. SgtGoodey (Not bolded because I cant remember what the he** you are...seft I think..not that I care) has finally ...after a mere 30 turns gotten his act together and is in the process of attacking my defensive positions in a vicious 1941 German assault QB. Little does he know one of his attacking units is heading straight into a minefield, and the other is heading straight into...uh..well..nothing right now, but I'm furiously regrouping my brave peasants to stop him cold. Lars after suffering a heroic defeat against my unfortunate Italians in Sapristi, he has decided to make things even now. In an incredibly gamey move, he picked the German side in Tiger Tiger. Rumor has it there are some übertanks present in that battle, but I have refused to pass that information on to my troops as it would probably affect their morale. Meanwhile my few scattered T-60s and T-34s take up defensive positions. Rat (nb because I have no idea what his position is) is desperately trying to defend a small port against my mighty battleships. For several turns I have been positioning my ships into a great, magnificent line and I have just began unleashing broadside after broadside upon his pathetic rowboats. Malakovski (bolded just in case) is attempting to defend a rubbled Soviet village in the middle of the winter. My freezing übertruppen are advancing slowly but steadily through the snow. Show your face you dirty peasants! He is probably hiding in some remote corner of the map in shame...remembering my crushing victory over him in our Rumanian-Hungarian QB where I led my conscript Rumanians into a stunning victory over his rabble. Snarker MUAHHAHAHAHA I really dont know what to say. In a 1944 QB between my hopelessly outnumbered pixeltruppen...desperately trying to defend a small hill... he has managed to lead his forces into not one, not two, not three, but four cleverly set ambushes. While I have lost about a platoon of infantry, he has lost 3 T-34s, at least a company of infantry, his pride and his (faked) self esteem. [ March 20, 2003, 03:58 AM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ]

Panzerschreck team in ambush near a bridge. Soviet BA-64 drives on to the bridge. Schreck team firing at the BA-64 but miss and hit the bridge instead. Bridge destroyed, BA-64 dead´(it dissapeared). One very pleased Lt Hortlund.

Hm...this one shows promise he does. But does he have the stomach for the MBT? We shall see. Send me a setup. *edit in case Denise Richards is reading this thread today. Hi Denise. I loved you in Starship Troopers. Mail me. [ March 13, 2003, 01:23 AM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ]

Thank you m'lady. *bows politely* I have now gone back and edited my post to correct two embarrassing spelling errors, and to iclude a new category of enemies in my most justified Last Great Crusade. *bows yet again even more politely and backs out of the room leaving behind several valuable gifts as means of saying thank you*

I have hereby decided to expand my crusade to also include people who quote huge, long and boring posts only to add one or two lines of text. They must be destroyed. Rule of thumb: If the quoted part is larger than the size of your part, you are wasting everybody's time. So far my crusade is aimed against. 1) Rogue posters. 2) Rogue quoters. 3) Male posters wearing Rouge. As soon as I get even the slightest hint of a nod of approval from any Olde One I shall gather a coalition of the willing and set forth on this Last Great Crusade. [ March 12, 2003, 09:29 AM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ]

I'd say it's because you are attracted to him but you fear rejection. not that there is anything wrong with that...

I have found out the hard way that the engagement ranges have to be well above 1300 for the Marders to get the upper hand. In a battle I recently played, I had 7 Marder IIs with veteran or crack crews face 20something T-34/76s with regular or veteran crews. I used 4 Marders at distances of 1500-1700 meters. These Marders all survived and they killed 2 T-34s and damaged 2. I used 3 Marders at distances of 1200-1300 meters. Of these Marders, two were knocked out and one damaged. They killed 1 T-34.

I'm staying out of this one. [ March 11, 2003, 07:02 AM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ]

You see, when you reach the level of understanding that comes with knighthood you also reach a new level of insight. I could not possibly explain it to you...since you are but a lowly idjit with the intelligence level of a small plant. See, most SSN's, serfs or squires post alot of idiotic drivel because they think this will somehow give them the attention they so desperately crave. Others post insane ramblings because they think they are funny. Yet others post weird weird "creations" that more resembles a number of letters chosen completely at random than anything resulting from coherent thought. Then there are yet others that post song lyrics just to cause pain and suffering. Imagine a MBT where we didnt have to endure the endless ramblings of complete morons, or disgusting attempts at "poetry" or "wit" preformed by complete retards...such a nice and beautiful place it would be. Yes, a refuge, a place of peace and tranquility...much like a small lake in the summer, gently caressed by the sun, hidden deep in the woods, surrounded by rolling treecovered hills. Ahhh *sniff* imagine sitting there, covered in fox urine, with a cold beer in one hand and a rifle in the other, doing nothing but basking in the sun and looking at the water, waiting for some hapless animal to walk into sight so you can kill it...bliss I tell you...complete bliss. But no...instead every day a new bunch of morons storm in like a group of japanese tourists assaulting a small village church in the middle of a private wedding (I've actually seen that happen)...complete with mindless chattering, uncountable video cameras, peculiar clothes and photo flashes. I have seen more tact and tone among a flock of baboons having a collective bad acid trip. So therefore I have decided to start my own crusade against all these rouge posters. I will fight them wherever I encounter them, with every weapon I can find. And right now I am mastering the hidden art of shutting up unless you've acutally have something to say. Yes, the first step in this crusade against the dimwits is to use silence to throw them off balance. And your post proved that I am making excellent progress. I understand that all this will go completely over the heads of you and all the other idjits out there. Therefore I will try to put it in terms even you could understand if you're having a good day: SOD OFF

Suuure...10 gigs of "mp3's" (and please note the gigantic "-marks)

Just admiring my own sig...move on.

Here you go. A word of warning though, I think I've broken two ribs from laughing. http://board.crewcial.org/t.php?id=16330&r=57

Phew, I'm just glad I covered myself in fox pee so that no one will notice me and attempt to use me as a love slave.