mensch

thats swedish no?

first time on the grenade range I was all excited... but like mentioned before me.. just a little flash. whoopie.. dull... but then seconds after little wizzing sounds of the wire bundle that is around the explosive core ...yikes! one word RESPECT.

thats correct you dolt duh.. you are my stunt double!! you look exactly like me.. sheesh no kidding would she be all mushy and drooling on the floor.. she be thinking its me Mr. Studmuffin! Last I heard Stuka has bought a plot of land out back and supplied himself with all types of defences and food... poor sucker forgot to take his CM with him now hes in a delema.. go home to get the CM and get caught and marry or sit here with my guns and ammo, food and Boobie magazines and pretend that dingo is a tiger..

thats my point! where are they? don't worry I set in my stunt man (mace) he'll take the slugs and knifes like a good little git and I'll slip in at the back door after drugging your guard cats with catnip. install a bunch of hidden cameras and get out before monkeyboys (mace) cold dead body hits the ground. ---------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

its what day.. Austria day.. well feck them and their colony down under too! big fecking deal, a bunch of criminals have a day.. woop-dee-doo. Update for you LORAK!!!!! Hiram Snoodie and Mensch played a wonderful game of pool yesterday (yes Hirams favorite map FLAT with no fecking trees but a few fecking daisies) his pathetic armour against mine.. he lost Horribly even with M10s to no end.. end result Mensch 88 Horams 12 we played another one but it was strange so I won't post that we got a draw.. oops to late.. jerk now to other things.. kitty you keep posting pics of your self half naked I might have to buy a plane ticket and fly over to you to lay a few rules and things out with you. Other updates: none worth mentioning I'll do that monday so have a stupid holiday (to whom it concerns) or bugger off and let me do another leaf cammo MOD for the field guns and stuff. ----------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. [This message has been edited by mensch (edited 01-26-2001).]

stick as is wood, bomb as those things that go boom

Hi everybody we are very pleased to announce the New Year and New Millenium update of Der Kessel with a host of goodies for everybody. We have a new, and easy to remember URL at www.DerKessel.com, the site has undergone a layout change (please let us know what you think), and we have tons of new stuff for download. Grego (aka mensch) has been playing with Photoshop again (his one redeeming feature is the ability to do this and added camo netting to JohnS Tiger's Tiger I. You won't get it more historical than that. We would like to welcome Anthony Cooper to our group. He has been rummaging through the books he bought at the GPO, e.g. 'Three Battles - Arnaville, Altuzzo and Schmidt' and has made a number of historical scenarios based on these early postwar US Army studies. Can't get it much more historical than that without having been there mefinks. Helge has supplied us with the map he made for the CPX, and his first attempt at the Cintheaux map, a very nice map, albeit not accurate for disctances as the one he finally used in the Cintheaux scenario. He may also have some historical scenarios "The Bloody battle of Tilly la Campagne - 25th July 1944", "The Crown of Thorns - Hill 112 - 10th July 1944" and the Operation "Halpenny Force - 8th August 1944" later. Andreas has been a slacker but will have some scenarios (semi-historical and historical) up early next month. Watch this space. So go there, download all the stuff and get on with it. You know you want it. http://www.derkessel.com'>www.DerKessel.com - be inspired! Die Sturmgruppe

Hi everybody we are very pleased to announce the New Year and New Millenium update of Der Kessel with a host of goodies for everybody. We have a new, and easy to remember URL at www.DerKessel.com, the site has undergone a layout change (please let us know what you think), and we have tons of new stuff for download. Grego (aka mensch) has been playing with Photoshop again (his one redeeming feature is the ability to do this and added camo netting to JohnS Tiger's Tiger I. You won't get it more historical than that. We would like to welcome Anthony Cooper to our group. He has been rummaging through the books he bought at the GPO, e.g. 'Three Battles - Arnaville, Altuzzo and Schmidt' and has made a number of historical scenarios based on these early postwar US Army studies. Can't get it much more historical than that without having been there mefinks. Helge has supplied us with the map he made for the CPX, and his first attempt at the Cintheaux map, a very nice map, albeit not accurate for disctances as the one he finally used in the Cintheaux scenario. He may also have some historical scenarios "The Bloody battle of Tilly la Campagne - 25th July 1944", "The Crown of Thorns - Hill 112 - 10th July 1944" and the Operation "Halpenny Force - 8th August 1944" later. Andreas has been a slacker but will have some scenarios (semi-historical and historical) up early next month. Watch this space. So go there, download all the stuff and get on with it. You know you want it. http://www.derkessel.com'>www.DerKessel.com - be inspired! Die Sturmgruppe

right since this is our first game (official) with me I ask the Pooler Thread (seanachoo this is your cue) <h5>whats my name! SAY IT!</h5> ----------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

Hi everybody we are very pleased to announce the New Year and New Millenium update of Der Kessel with a host of goodies for everybody. We have a new, and easy to remember URL at www.DerKessel.com, the site has undergone a layout change (please let us know what you think), and we have tons of new stuff for download. Grego (aka mensch) has been playing with Photoshop again (his one redeeming feature is the ability to do this and added camo netting to JohnS Tiger's Tiger I. You won't get it more historical than that. We would like to welcome Anthony Cooper to our group. He has been rummaging through the books he bought at the GPO, e.g. 'Three Battles - Arnaville, Altuzzo and Schmidt' and has made a number of historical scenarios based on these early postwar US Army studies. Can't get it much more historical than that without having been there mefinks. Helge has supplied us with the map he made for the CPX, and his first attempt at the Cintheaux map, a very nice map, albeit not accurate for disctances as the one he finally used in the Cintheaux scenario. He may also have some historical scenarios "The Bloody battle of Tilly la Campagne - 25th July 1944", "The Crown of Thorns - Hill 112 - 10th July 1944" and the Operation "Halpenny Force - 8th August 1944" later. Andreas has been a slacker but will have some scenarios (semi-historical and historical) up early next month. Watch this space. So go there, download all the stuff and get on with it. You know you want it. http://www.derkessel.com'>www.DerKessel.com - be inspired! Die Sturmgruppe [This message has been edited by mensch (edited 01-25-2001).]

Are we talking about aobut Texas Chilli here? I read that the americans used the stuff at Köln... burned the entire Jagdpanzer Div. that was positioned there. ----------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

I was currently looking into some data that may significantly reduce WIFE auf D frontal anoyance resistance against husband CM playing Session. If we wanted to skew the playing session how about a "Natter gap", where her 150 dB anoying questions APCBC breaks up against Husbands 100mm near-vertical thick cranium from 20m thru 40m. BTS have not thought of this and they should have, in my opinion. my Idea of "natter" gap, so that wifes 150 dB has no teeth against thick husband cranium until HRDN (husband recives divorce notice). In Long Holiday Weekend reports, 150 dB couldn't do squat against back of Husband cranium beyond 10m after 6 beers, although this made husband in CM playing session to make at least 35% decision errors while planning his attack after three hours of drinking. Now if we are dealing with a 5% alcohal beer at BPH (bottles per hour) of 2. Heres the trick the BPH has to be reduced at 1 so that at three hours your error factor is reduced to 17,5%. BUT wife 150 dB can penatrate husbands 100mm near-vertical thick cranium at a distance of 13.5m Be careful because on Wife auf J she is armed with a 210 dB anoyance factor, requiring you to get into harder things like Whisky but at 45% alcohol we get a error factor of 85% in half the time with the beers. Also 100mm near-vertical thick cranium of husband cracks under pressure the next day by the 5.23 Hour Hangover. why did BTS forget to say this in the instruction book? I have a long list of things that BTS could have done to do to help husband on CM playing session, but don't expect the world to change to match my vision. Wargaming and playing is an art and what suits Bill Gates would irritate Ted Turner, and vice versa. ------------ www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. [This message has been edited by mensch (edited 01-25-2001).]

uh kitty.. been there done that.. after two losses to her she was estatic.. so I said feck that lets play for keeps.. on the third game I started winning and she lost interest faster then a soap opra fan at a micro physics presentation. sex.. well I could post some penetration charts but I think steve would ban me from the thread, and loose those valuable bonus points I earned. ----------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. [This message has been edited by mensch (edited 01-25-2001).]

plus my other comment from the thread http://www.battlefront.com/discuss/Forum1/HTML/015426.html note steves closing comment "Hehe... cute thread, I do agree, but I suppose it is time to lock this one up. Mensch, you get bonus points Steve " you all suck he likes ME!

ROTFL good one croda! that feature I would love to see!

wow, did you find all those big words by yourself? PS my inner croda wrote it for me. ----------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

ok, after buying your troops and entering your name and birth date you get a message like a horoscope: ie: mensch (aquarius) you choice of that SSCompany is a good choice but the moon of Cancer will enter on turn four causing your happy go lucky tiger to blow up. The Sun of Orion is your strong point, but beware of 17pdr guns. You will have hopes on turn 15 but the powers of 5.5inch arty will cause you to loose two platoons, and rout the rest in a panic no one has seen since KFC changed their Recipe. You have no chance monkey boy. something like that would be good. ------------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

I don't know about you guys/gals but I would like to know I if I am going to win before I play.. that way I know if its worth playing the game or not! BTS can you put in a feature that tells you if one is going to win or not? The best would be knowing if you suck before you do prove that to your opponent! thanks for all your help BTS your the bestest in tha whole world. mensch ---------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

I agree.. but maybe a 0.86 would be better?

I'll put my money on that little pecker on the left!.. here are some stats on that model. type: Widdle Girl Armour: stuffed toy hamster? (it could be a real one who knows) speed: anywhere from "bolted to the ground if she does not get what she wants" to "light speed when you say its bed time" armement: varries from scratching, kicking, throwing, screaming and biting Armement stats <center> <table border="0" cellPadding="5" cellSpacing="0" width="440"><tr><td bgColor="#dadada" width="100"></td><td width="100" align="center" bgColor="#dadada"><font size="2">0 - 1m</font></td><td align="center" bgColor="#dadada" width="100"><font size="2">2 - 5m</font></td><td width="100" align="center" bgColor="#dadada"><font size="2">5 - 100m</font></td></tr><tr><td align="center" vAlign="top" width="100"><font size="2">Scratch</font></td><td width="100" align="center"><font size="2">minor skin damage* </font><font size="2">bleeding**</font></td><td align="center" width="100"><font size="2">n/a</font></td><td width="100" align="center"><font size="2">n/a</font></td></tr><tr><td align="center" vAlign="top" bgColor="#dadada" width="100"><font size="2">Kick</font></td><td width="100" align="center" vAlign="top" bgColor="#dadada"><font size="2">dark blue bruse* </font><font size="2">internal bleeding plus d.b. bruse**</font></td><td align="center" vAlign="top" bgColor="#dadada" width="100"><font size="2">n/a</font></td><td width="100" align="center" vAlign="top" bgColor="#dadada"><font size="2">n/a</font></td></tr><tr><td align="center" vAlign="top" width="100"><font size="2">Throw</font></td><td width="100" align="center" vAlign="top"><font size="2">anoying but no other effect</font></td><td align="center" vAlign="top" width="100"><font size="2">anoying but no other effect</font></td><td width="100" align="center" vAlign="top"><font size="2">anoying but no other effect</font></td></tr><tr><td align="center" vAlign="top" bgColor="#dadada" width="100"><font size="2">Scream</font></td><td width="100" align="center" vAlign="top" bgColor="#dadada"><font size="2">perm. Deaf</font></td><td align="center" vAlign="top" bgColor="#dadada" width="100"><font size="2">10min Deaf</font></td><td width="100" align="center" vAlign="top" bgColor="#dadada"><font size="2">Stun Effect</font></td></tr><tr><td align="center" vAlign="top" width="100"><font size="2">Biting</font></td><td width="100" align="center" vAlign="top"><font size="2">teethmarks* </font><font size="2">teethmarks and blood (yours)**</font></td><td align="center" vAlign="top" width="100"><font size="2">n/a</font></td><td width="100" align="center" vAlign="top"><font size="2">n/a</font></td></tr></table> <table border="0" cellPadding="5" cellSpacing="0" width="440"><tr><td bgColor="#ededed"><font size="2"> known fact girls can't throw so its the least used attack from this model.</font></td></tr></table> <table border="0" cellPadding="5" cellSpacing="0" width="440"><tr><td bgColor="#ededed"><font size="2">* 30º frontal</font></td><td bgColor="#ededed"><font size="2">**15º frontal</font></td></tr></table> </center> --------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. [This message has been edited by mensch (edited 01-24-2001).]

LOraK.. you dolt.. what I hate most is people who make websites with musik.. lucky for me I pushed the command-w to close the window before your site blasted at 3000 dB some song.. !!! think of the jerks like me who surf the net while working, jeez.... I saw you as someone better then Senachack.. but now .. makes me think if I should put you on the "people like Seanachie or even worse but no one could be as bad as that moss for brains Seanachoo List" ---------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

not bloody likely snoochie.. the canadian government is so incompetent any law passed by them is a slur upon the moral government of the world you flatter me with your paunchy half-faced pignut comments, here is a big fat juicy *kiss* to you. ok.. I choose to be a Canadian-Ukrainian (political enough for you, you harpy) sorry my fen-sucked foot-licker its already known that not only is the RCMP, MTP, CISIS and the LLBO looking for me. Word has it they looked for me but they all combined could not find their own asses with both hands! well considering what we have for PM I would welcome the little powder puff as our new PM.. heck hes so chocked full of those IQ point thingies.. you, you on the other hand, when it comes to I.Q. points, you lose them every time you go to the bathroom. remember kiddies, cheat, lie, take drugs, steal, swear and do things that the musik tells you to do.. but do it at Seanahoos home he apparently is a unhappy old coot and is so old that his birthday cake looks like a brush fire.. so go cheer him up.. and maybe we can bring him kicking and screaming in the century of the Fruitbat -------------- www.derkessel.com Home of "Die Sturmgruppe" Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

uh exuse me?? a whole platoon? jee I looked at the film agian.. I give you credit for a supurb PIAT lob at my Tiger .. but a platoon?? me finks you have been sniffing Chubumungas armpits again. ----------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

well this could take some time... guh.. well we will wait but I've had more fun drinking cough mixture in a launderette then wait for croda to actually THINK. funny story.. you a captain of a boat.. my my.. Croda couldn't direct a turd down a toilet! never mind a captain... *snicker* of a boat. I must admid my lad know your limits, use Shakespeare, Thou misshapen Dick (Henry VI Part 3) ----------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. [This message has been edited by mensch (edited 01-23-2001).]

well mr. chuckles even though you look like a one eyed budgie with a squint, we still talk to you. ----------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.