The Peng Challenge Thread. Accept no Substitutes!

[dalem]

If Dalem is an olde one then so am I!

No, you are a Stuka, not an Olde One.

Bad Stuka! No biscuit!

[dalem]

I sent you a file.

Did you receive said file?

Have you processed said file?

Will you be returning said file?

Or, are you the lowest form of life possible...

A CM tease.

I did and it will be back at you later today. I was delayed at work last night by things and stuff.

[Stuka]

We are all olde ones!!!

Form a conga line and let's partayyy!!!

[dalem]

First I was an SSN, but I was one of the FIRST SSNs.

Then I was dubbed a Seniour Knight by Lorat during one of his Drunken Seniour Moments.

Disgusted by the lack of Hate I then took for myself the title of Lord High Hulabalooster and Lord of Pants.

Next, after a particularly unimpressive series of epic songs and arsehattery by the clutch of clownes occupying the chairs stenciled "Olde Ones", I simply caused to be made my own such chair, and sat myself upon it.

Thus I became an Olde One. So it is writtten, so it is done.

[Stuka]

And so it is deluded, wake up Sparky and smell the roses...

Emrys has been in the garden again and they smell.......soiled.

[dalem]

If you mean smell the Partagas Black Gigante I have on deck for tonight when I get home from work, you're damned straight, Skippy.

[Boo Radley]

I did and it will be back at you later today.

While you are fondling your Partagas Black Gigante?

Ewwwwwwww!!!!!

[dalem]

While you are fondling your Partagas Black Gigante?

Ewwwwwwww!!!!!

Hey, I thought we never talked about our thingies here?

As an Olde One, you see, I know these things.

[dalem]

Boo is already writhing in the grip of my superior play.

I sense he is seconds away from an Alt-U and a complete victory for the forces of me.

[Stuka]

Oh is that what it is? I thought Boo was trying to break dance.

[dalem]

Mmmmm.

That was a good Partagas.

[Michael Emrys]

I thought Boo was trying to break dance.

If he did that someone would probably call an ambulance. It would probably be a good idea too.

Michael

[Stuka]

Is 'probably' your new word of the day, Michael?

You should also look up 'self immolation' and apply it to yourself.

It was all the rage in the late sixties.

[Yeknodathon]

I'm not quite sure how 'self immolation' could not be applied to Emrys-self... it could hardly be 'self immolation' if the immolated object was something other than the Emrys-self.. in fact... well, he might need the odd bit of assistance like soaked rag in the mouth but I'd say 'self immolating' bit probably makes it quite sure that the object of immolation would be sufficiently crisped up without further reference of application to the same self?

I mean, that's double baking. And what's the use in that?

[Patch]

That hurt my brain!

[flammenwerfer]

If anyone needs a good laugh..

http://www.dontevenreply.com/

[Boo Radley]

Boo is already writhing in the grip of my superior play.

Oh, is that what you call it. I call it laughing hysterically at your chances in this game.

[Joe Shaw]

Oh, is that what you call it. I call it laughing hysterically at your chances in this game.

You need to be careful with dalem, he's not above using actual tactics in his play ... of course someone else will have to provide them for him but he's capable of using them to one degree or another ... until he forgets them of course.

But for a turn or two he can actually look competent and then your entire "strategy" of just hitting GO will be out the window.

Joe

[Boo Radley]

You need to be careful with dalem, he's not above using actual tactics in his play ... of course someone else will have to provide them for him but he's capable of using them to one degree or another ... until he forgets them of course.

But for a turn or two he can actually look competent and then your entire "strategy" of just hitting GO will be out the window.

Joe

Oh yeah, I've seen some of these so called tactics of his before. Like leaving perfectly good defensive positions to challenge my superior attacking forces on open ground.

THAT worked like a champ.

Then there was the time he decided to waste tons of ammo, shelling an empty building with his bunched up Shermies, so that when my Hetzers showed up, it was like shooting fish in a barrel.

THEN there was the time he tried to lure me into an ambush by leaving a trail of jello shots outside my door... but I don't think that was in a CM game, so it hardly counts.

Oh, I have taken the measure of his tactics and I have found them WANTING!

[dalem]

I just want to warn you lot that I just tried to call Seanachai and his line is busy, which means he's either dialed into 1-800-POTATO-FAMINE ("Oh baby! Launch your SPUDnik into my four leaf clover! Oh!") or he's figured out his internet connection again.

Soon he'll be in here being all Gnomey.

You've been warned. By an Olde One, no less. That's what we do, cuz we're kindof into the whole Harbinger thing.

[Boo Radley]

I just want to warn you lot that I just tried to call Seanachai and his line is busy, which means he's either dialed into 1-800-POTATO-FAMINE ("Oh baby! Launch your SPUDnik into my four leaf clover! Oh!") or he's figured out his internet connection again.

Soon he'll be in here being all Gnomey.

You've been warned. By an Olde One, no less. That's what we do, cuz we're kindof into the whole Harbinger thing.

Phil Harbinger? He played for the BoSox, back in '62, didn't he? Or maybe he developed Botox in a parallel universe.

[Joe Shaw]

I just want to warn you lot that I just tried to call Seanachai and his line is busy, which means he's either dialed into 1-800-POTATO-FAMINE ("Oh baby! Launch your SPUDnik into my four leaf clover! Oh!") or he's figured out his internet connection again.

Soon he'll be in here being all Gnomey.

You've been warned. By an Olde One, no less. That's what we do, cuz we're kindof into the whole Harbinger thing.

You see lads, he himself admits that he is LESS than an Olde One ... although he misplaced the comma. Myself I'd have written it as ...

By an Olde One ... no ... less.

But we can't expect proper sentence construction from dalem ... we can hardly expect sentience from him.

Joe

[Seanachai]

I just want to warn you lot that I just tried to call Seanachai and his line is busy, which means he's either dialed into 1-800-POTATO-FAMINE ("Oh baby! Launch your SPUDnik into my four leaf clover! Oh!") or he's figured out his internet connection again.

Soon he'll be in here being all Gnomey.

You've been warned. By an Olde One, no less. That's what we do, cuz we're kindof into the whole Harbinger thing.

Yes. Let me see...

I called Dalem a few hours ago, but kept being routed over to an automatic voicemail system that is, for reasons never to be made totally clear, still in place, although he does not use it anymore, nor ever accesses it. I knew this about him, so, figuring he was on his home phone talking to someone far less important than myself, I called his cell, and got him immediately.

Turns out Dalem spent the afternoon/evening networking his home, setting up a wireless router, getting the computer on board, making sure everything worked, so that he could do things like 'hotseat' wargames at home, access the internet from every room, etc. etc.

The only problem was, when he was all done and everything worked perfectly, he'd totally disabled his home phone/landline. Even attempts to 'put things back the way they were' didn't work.

When I called him and after he explained the whole thing to me, I told him: "You're the stupidest smart person I know. You're the most incompetent capable person I've ever met".

Ladies and Fools of the Peng Challenge Thread, I give you a toast:

TO DALEM!

No one else could achieve so much and yet fail in such an essential detail! I can't help but think of Dr. Frankenstein, who pieced together a human body and then raised it from death, but then put an abnormal brain into it.

Kind of says it all about Dalem, actually. Mind, he's still a damn good host. Salt of the earth, all praise to his rum and cigars, excellent library and such, etc. etc. Wouldn't do to liken it to the occasional lapses in his politics.

That would be petty. Of course, I'm a very short man. So, I thought I'd at least raise the point. To my own discredit, I admit, rather than his. Still, I'm only after saying...

[dalem]

And 10 minutes after you hung up, Fred called.

[dalem]

Oh hai, Seanachai.