Jump to content

The Peng Challenge Thread. Accept no Substitutes!


Recommended Posts

As if you'd go outside for anything other than booze ... and there ain't no booze in either heaven or hell.

Valhalla, of course ... is a different story but there you'd be busy hauling legs o'lamb for the Gawds and wouldn't have time to go outside. In fact you'd be fortunate to avoid the cuffs and kicks of Loki (he's bad that way you know, kinda like Joe Pesci in Goodfellas) ... dance Seanachai, dance ...

So all in all I think we're pretty safe.

Joe

Goddamn it, Joe, my very good friend. I really wanted to get all medieval on your sh - wait for it! * t, but you simply must learn to attribute your responses.

Joe Shaw, the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread. I will dance for you, anytime. As long as I know why I'm dancing, you feck. You do not achieve my age, and general hideousness, without needing to dance for some sort of piper.

Joe, I'm doing a sort of 'schottische' in my living room right now. I am working your name into the song that I am singing. This is not a joke. This is what I've been doing for the last ten minutes.

Now, Justicar. You need to dance for me. You need to sing a song, and dance a dance for me. You need to do it for real. You don't need to admit it to anyone. You can totally laugh about it to everyone else, and mock me. The song is your own, the steps are unquestioned. You can pretend to everyone but yourself.

But you need to get up, in your study, unwitnessed, and do a dance. The song you sing is your own favourite. No one has to see.

And, in good faith, I will now get up and dance again, and I will sing a song. It will be a waltz. I will sing 'The Dutchman', by Michael Smith. It is a tune that you and I must love, and dread. Isn't it where we're going?

The Dutchman’s not the kind of man, to keep his thumb jammed

in the dam, that holds his dreams in.

But that’s a secret only Margret knows.

When Amsterdam is golden, in the morning, Margret brings him breakfast

She believes him.

He thinks that tulips bloom beneath the snow.

He’s mad as he can be, but Margret only sees that sometimes.

Sometimes she sees her unborn children in his eyes.

Let us go to the banks of the ocean

where the wall rise above the Zuyder Zee

long ago, I used to be a young man

and dear Margret, remembers that for me.

The Dutchman stills wears wooden shoes,

his cap and coat are patched with love, that Margret sowed him

Sometimes he thinks he’s still in Rotterdam.

He watches tugboats down canals, and he calls out to them

when he thinks, he knows the captain.

Till Margret comes to take him home again.

Through unforgiving streets, that trip him though she holds his arm

Sometimes he thinks that he’s alone, and calls her name.

Let us go to the banks of the ocean…

The windmills whirl the winter in

she winds his muffler tighter, they sit in the kitchen

Some tea with whiskey keeps away the dew

He sees her for a moment, calls her name, she makes the bed

humming some old love song

She learned the tune when it was very new

He hums a line or two, they hum together in the dark

The Dutchman falls asleep

and Margret blows the candle out.

Let us go to the banks of the ocean

where the walls rise above the Zuyder Zee

Long ago, I used to be a young man

and dear Margret remembers that for me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 310
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

And no girl that ever knew you knew joy, you bugger. Now be quiet, we're all after talking about grown-up stuff.

Shoving your hand up a Scotsman's bum is very grown up isn't it?

Although I suspect OGSF may want to cry like a little girl....especially if you don't take your watch off.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How can you NOT recognize one of the great lines from one of the great gangster flicks of all time ...

Tommy DeVito: Oklahoma kid. That's me. I'm the Oklahoma kid. You fickin' varmint. Dance. Dance. YAHOO, YOU M******R.

In other words Seanachai, and apparently they'll be in italics since I can't seem to change it here ... the only dancing I have any interest in seeing you perform will be to the tune of a Smith and Wesson.

Joe

Link to comment
Share on other sites

the only dancing I have any interest in seeing you perform will be to the tune of a Smith and Wesson.

Surely said 'Smith and Wesson' would be borrowed from a real man?

I figure you more for this weapon....

ep1_pistol_thumb.jpg

This is a prostitute’s pistol. In days gone by it was known somewhat incongruously as a “Ladies’ Muff Pistol”. Because of its small size it could easily be carried inside a ladies’ handbag which makes it the ideal Justicar 'piece'. Small calibre, noisy and single shot.....all the characteristics Mrs Joe has complained about all these years.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Surely said 'Smith and Wesson' would be borrowed from a real man?

I figure you more for this weapon....

ep1_pistol_thumb.jpg

This is a prostitute’s pistol. In days gone by it was known somewhat incongruously as a “Ladies’ Muff Pistol”. Because of its small size it could easily be carried inside a ladies’ handbag which makes it the ideal Justicar 'piece'. Small calibre, noisy and single shot.....all the characteristics Mrs Joe has complained about all these years.

Oh now that's just wrong ... on so many levels.

Do I make references to the good Lady Stuka? I do not ... the poor thing has enough on her mind what with the constant tears and bitter recriminations over marrying you.

Joe

Link to comment
Share on other sites

And I can see her looking over at you and just mentally KICKING herself and thinking, "What the HELL was I thinking!"
Well she was probably bedazzled by the glamor of it all ... you know, living in camel spider infested apartments, flying hither and yon to various third world hellholes, sitting on a sand dune watching Stuka try to kill himself yet again on a dirt bike and then being disappointed as he failed at that TOO ... uh ... hmmm ... what the hell WAS she thinking?

Joe

Link to comment
Share on other sites

...what the hell WAS she thinking?

He probably lied to her about having the private phone numbers of all the rich oil sheiks in the Mideast. Given that it is Stuka that we are talking about, he probably lied about a number of other things as well.

Michael

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's LADY BARONESS VON STUKA to you knave.....

Errrr...not to be a bastard or anything (although I am a bastard, but a serious bastard, so that's 'Mr. Bastard' to you lot) which Lady Stuka are we on now, exactly? I mean, sequentially, not perched on her, or anything.

Christ on a crutch crossing himself, I've been here so long that I have to ask which Lady Stuka we're on. I mean, is this like the Jane Seymour of 'Lady Stukas', or is this the Anne Boleyn of 'Lady Stukas'?

Does Stuka even know any more?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Because the bathroom has been condemned by the Board of Health?

My little lad, if they ever show up here, they'll never even make it that far. Like anyone interested in the Public Health, they're weak, and wouldn't get past the vestibule of my apartment before being overcome.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've got an idea... formin'... in my 'ead.

New CM gameplay concept:

Person A and B setup a game, play as normal. Someone somewhere randomizes "The Switch": At some point, roughly halfway in, person A turns his game over to person C, and at some other point, person B turns over his game to person D.

C and D finish out the game, representing battle-promoted underlings knowing only vague things about the overall situation. A and B must, of course, play honestly.

I am genius.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've got an idea... formin'... in my 'ead.

New CM gameplay concept:

Person A and B setup a game, play as normal. Someone somewhere randomizes "The Switch": At some point, roughly halfway in, person A turns his game over to person C, and at some other point, person B turns over his game to person D.

C and D finish out the game, representing battle-promoted underlings knowing only vague things about the overall situation. A and B must, of course, play honestly.

I am genius.

I am an Old One of the Peng Challenge Thread, and I approve this concept.

Is there a new Lady Stuka yet? I mean, it's been hours since I raised the point...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We are coming up on the greatest part of they year. The part where we can all go North. I've been discussing it with Dalem. We need to go North soon.

Of course, right now, Lake of the Woods is still ice-covered. Last lake in Minnesota/Canadian border that still is fully ice-covered. Ice out soon. Very early this year. I will be paddling by this weekend, down here in the South of the State. A full week ahead of last year. Of course, because of my trip to the Everglades, I already have a good chunk of paddling time and mileage racked up.

Well, not a full week. Last year, I was on the water by the 15th. Still, being on the water by the 10th or 11th isn't too shabby.

Does it make anyone else want to sing?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...