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Oregon challenges Peng and loses! W00T!


Stuka
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'Nuf said.....I guess that qualifies you to spend time in a mental institution, either that or the Democrat Party.

Epic FAIL KneeDanWon! Correct wingnuttery requires it to be typed thus:

DemocRAT Party.

Leaving no doubt that the emPHAsis is on the correct sylLAble.

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I'm back... but... I've changed.

Every third day for the next 5 years I will post tediously un-funny cartoons threatening death and violence to anyone who's political views show the slightest deviation from my own. While doing all this I will strive to remain clueless and humorless. I will viciously abuse anyone I even remotely suspect of having disrespected me, all the while sanctimoniously maintaining that I am being persecuted. I will call everyone else a coward, then send private messages filled with vulgarity, abuse and harassment to women. I will maintain that I have reams of evidence of threats and abuse towards myself, but refuse to let anyone see it because they will just use it to abuse me further. While claiming that I completely understand the joke, I will vilify anyone who attempts to joke with me. I will demand that people be tolerant of everything I do and every opinion I voice, while belittling and abusing anyone I perceive as different, and deny the validity of every opinion contrary to my own.

I will claim to be the only 'Real American' present, and use that fact as the basis for denying any form of consideration or rights to anyone else.

In short: Choose your enemies carefully. For that is who you will become.

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I'm back... but... I've changed.

I'd like you better if you taunted us to "bring it on", then went and got your wife to back you up after only a few reply posts. Are you willing to do that?

Meh, gone are the good ol' days I keep reading about. If members keep dropping off like this, I'll soon be an Olde One, just like dalem.

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What's that, Small Emma? I need to put on a hat?

Oh, but you vile child, you mocking little get of liberal parents, that is a silly hat! It does not befit one of my power, glory, and certitude. Be quiet, you horrible little urchin! I am not going to put that hat on, you little guttersnipe...

Oh, silence! Stop crying! Alright, I will put on the stupid hat, just to show you how it ill befits me!

Whoa!

You know...

Everything looks... different now... under my brand new leopard skin pillbox hat...

You know, you're all a jolly lot of complete swine! I know what you really love me for. It's my brand new, leopard skin pillbox hat!

It has revealed to me the truth!

We're all okay. Mostly.

Except the Aussies. They're just horrible. Oh, hell! Even the Aussies are okay, really. They're just the product of a bad home environment! Did you know everything in Australia is poisonous, including the sheep?

You know, with this silly hat on, I feel completely different.

More... Peng Challengy. Or something.

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I'd like you better if you taunted us to "bring it on"

Do you want me to 'bring it on'? I can, you know.

I CAN BRING IT ON ALL NIGHT LONG!

Jolly singsongs, bad poetry, Small Emma stories, the myths, legends and folklore of The Peng Challenge Thread.

Are you willing to do that?

I'm willing to do a lot of things. On a week night, 87.8% of them are legal. The others... well, they're just funny.

Meh, gone are the good ol' days I keep reading about. If members keep dropping off like this, I'll soon be an Olde One, just like Joe.

The Justicar is not an Olde One. He is... well, he's Joe. Let's call him an Ambassador. With Special Powers. Or a Shaman. Kind of a stuffy, annoying one. Shakes the rattle in a pointed way, scatters the lizard blood rather officiously, keeps the 'bones of prophecy and judgement' sorted by type and size...

You know the sort. Gets a bit shirty when anyone chants a bit off-key because they're text messaging to get the score from the last match.

But he's our own, rosy-cheek Justicar, and the place wouldn't be the same without his occasionally hollow voiced pronouncement of what awaits anyone who fails to understand that "there are rules here, don't you know! And spit out that gum! Oh, for the love of all that I am here to enforce, did anyone even pretend to peruse the credentials of that last supplicant?!"

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The Justicar is not an Olde One. He is... well, he's Joe.

I got all confused for a moment. I've corrected my post to reference the wanna-be Olde One, who is also not an Olde One at all.

As for Joe, I think it was the "Olde Foul..." part that mixed me up. That, and a shortage of sleep.

I wonder if he'll ever make a trip to Calgary. I love being quasi-annually audited, or at least our government seems to think so.

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I got all confused for a moment. I've corrected my post to reference the wanna-be Olde One, who is also not an Olde One at all.

S'okay. Dalem has delusions. But, and recite it with me now: "He is SO Brian Dennehy!"

I wonder if he'll ever make a trip to Calgary. I love being quasi-annually audited...

Our Justicar has been granted the right to ignore ALL national boundaries, bearing the torch (not to mention the pitchfork) of the Peng Challenge Thread to every jurisdiction on the planet. He will wave both impressively, while shouting out 'Kill the Monster!'. He'll then make you fill out several forms, signing and initialing according to some sort of bizarre protocol that even lawyers in the Hague haven't yet fathomed. He'll then tell you to 'pull his finger'. Go ahead and do it, it's not what you think. It seems to have something to do with his thought process, and if he stops humming 'We Are the Champions' then you'll probably get a bright smile, a stamp on the back of your hand, and he'll go away.

Unless by being 'quasi-annually audited', you mean...

That you want to pay a special 'sin tax' for being part of the Peng Challenge Thread. Then, you have to confess to Peng what you feel about chihuahuas, you have to tell Berli who your favorite musical group/singer is, and you have to admit to me that you are not now, nor have ever been a member of any group that really gives a good goddamn about a celebrity.

Oh, and you have to put a book on your head, and walk across the room saying 'My claim to fame is that I choose not to defame anyone that declaims against the need to shame those who proclaim a position not the same as my own.'

You get points for doing it dead drunk in lingerie.

Hey, I did it dead drunk wearing lingerie!

Made $20 at Glueks. Of course, they were paying me to put my clothes back on.

I would have, but Lars gave me another $30 to keep on. Paid off all my utilities that month.

And October is no month to ignore $30 from a guy dressed in camouflage. Not in Minnesota.

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Every third day for the next 5 years I will post tediously un-funny cartoons threatening death and violence to anyone who's political views show the slightest deviation from my own. While doing all this I will strive to remain clueless and humorless. I will viciously abuse anyone I even remotely suspect of having disrespected me, all the while sanctimoniously maintaining that I am being persecuted. I will call everyone else a coward, then send private messages filled with vulgarity, abuse and harassment to women. I will maintain that I have reams of evidence of threats and abuse towards myself, but refuse to let anyone see it because they will just use it to abuse me further. While claiming that I completely understand the joke, I will vilify anyone who attempts to joke with me. I will demand that people be tolerant of everything I do and every opinion I voice, while belittling and abusing anyone I perceive as different, and deny the validity of every opinion contrary to my own.

I will claim to be the only 'Real American' present, and use that fact as the basis for denying any form of consideration or rights to anyone else.

and so you shall be renamed as either Abb-Seanachai or Seanachai-bott, the latter sounds cuter, what say you?

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Ohhh-errr, sounds a bit saucy eh what?

Oh, please, Stuka. A woman saying 'I had to have my dog put to sleep because it was killing cats and leaving their entrails on the bed' sounds suggestive to you. You're just a suggestible bastard.

I smoked one of my new Vegas toros. It was light as air, but spicy in the back, and had a bit of kick. The 'Original Cubans' (as in 'not REAL cubans) I bought are even lighter, and without much kick.

Dalem has reached the point that the only way his cigars could get heavier, darker and more powerful is if he was to start smoking moose sh*t.

Moose sh*t, I might add, that he'd gathered by himself in a pine forest at the dark of the moon. It's not just the maduro wrappers. What he likes these days seems to be tobacco grown on the graves of african slaves from seeds that had been subjected to exposure to 'dark matter' from the creation of the Universe.

The only way he's going to get a heavier smoke is by having black tobacco chopped into confetti and rammed up his arse.

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and so you shall be renamed as either Abb-Seanachai or Seanachai-bott, the latter sounds cuter, what say you?

Idjit. Abb-Seanachai is better. It sounds more like some Assyrian-Babylonian demon god.

Seanachai-bott sounds like a piece of software that goes out on to the Web to find you Celtic music, or something that hatches in your flesh and eats out a hollow for itself before flying off to learn how to play the fiddle.

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disrespected

For using that non-word in my presence, this I promise you. If we ever meet in the flesh (Wait... better rephrase that. Don't want to give Stuka-Nuka-Puka-Pants any 'suggestive' ideas) or face to face, I will slap the crap right out of you.

Repeatedly.

I will make you weep like a lost little girl.

You will wail. Honestly wail. The kind of wailing where drool runs off your bottom lip.

Perhaps you will even ululate. One would hope that you would.

Never use that word again.

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I would have, but Lars gave me another $30 to keep on. Paid off all my utilities that month.

And October is no month to ignore $30 from a guy dressed in camouflage. Not in Minnesota.

You got by on $30?

I just knew you heated that place by leaving the stove on.

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What's that, Small Emma? I need to put on a hat?

Oh, but you vile child, you mocking little get of liberal parents, that is a silly hat! It does not befit one of my power, glory, and certitude. Be quiet, you horrible little urchin! I am not going to put that hat on, you little guttersnipe...

Oh, silence! Stop crying! Alright, I will put on the stupid hat, just to show you how it ill befits me!

Whoa!

You know...

Everything looks... different now... under my brand new leopard skin pillbox hat...

You know, you're all a jolly lot of complete swine! I know what you really love me for. It's my brand new, leopard skin pillbox hat!

It has revealed to me the truth!

We're all okay. Mostly.

Except the Aussies. They're just horrible. Oh, hell! Even the Aussies are okay, really. They're just the product of a bad home environment! Did you know everything in Australia is poisonous, including the sheep?

You know, with this silly hat on, I feel completely different.

More... Peng Challengy. Or something.

Next time you visit Small Emma I demand that you wear your red pointy hat.

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