juan_gigante Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Just thought that my sig wasn't "Dr. Love" enough. Fact of the matter is, your sig could use a little sexing up as well. Maybe you could be the "Acting Auxillary Backup Deputy Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread, Baby". Or the "Acting Auxillary Backup Deputy Justicariate of the Super Sexy Peng Challenge Thread". Or something. Something hot like Dorosh's sig. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
v42below Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Originally posted by J Ruddy: *snip* fine polish vodka *snip* Bwuahahahaha! Let me guess, it's sitting right next to your fine chinese turps and high class indonesian meths? The Poles may have invented the damn thing, but they needed the Russians to refine the product to a drinkable state. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Dorosh Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 <font size=22>IN YOUR FACE SEANACHAI</FONT> HAHA!!! An acutal postcard full of hate! No kidding, here it is in all its glory. And from Bloody Finland no less! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 You call that hate? My, what a colorless world you must live in. If that tepid, pastel display scrawled on the back of the postcard is what you refer to as "hate", then you are indeed a fragile creature, Michael. Tell me, after reading the postcard did you feel the distinct need to have a cup of Chamomile tea and watch the LifeTime channel? Sad, really. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Originally posted by Juan Valdez: Russians have 82mm. Originally posted by Boo Radley: What you do when you're alone is your own business.Obvious, isn't it? He's a sick, twisted millimeter perv. Er, not that there's anything wrong with that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Originally posted by Michael Dorosh: Sheesh, at least the one I sent Seanachai had a photo lineup of naked men giving him the ol brown eye with a warning on the back to the postman that this is what could happen to him if he got within 150 yards of the Gnome. Yours looks just like the tepid kind of hate that would leak out of a sauna and leave a stain on the floor. How embarrassing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Dorosh Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 No, no, it's all in the interpretation! Read between the freakin' lines! It's from a FINN for heaven's sake! They don't GET more offensive than "bag of scum", it's just not in the national character to give a **** about anything enough to hate anyone - all that northern malaise stuff going on. Really, this is an impressive breakthrough, for a Finn....!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WineCape Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Good to know that you are very much loved mD. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Originally posted by Michael Dorosh: No, no, it's all in the interpretation! Read between the freakin' lines! It's from a FINN for heaven's sake! They don't GET more offensive than "bag of scum", it's just not in the national character to give a **** about anything enough to hate anyone - all that northern malaise stuff going on. Really, this is an impressive breakthrough, for a Finn....!! Ah, so you'll be receiving an apology and a basket of flowers soon then? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Originally posted by Michael Dorosh: No, no, it's all in the interpretation! Read between the freakin' lines! I can barely read the words, much less between the lines. Have you sunk so low as to consider a pissed off Finnish middle schooler as worthwhile mortal enemy material? You make me sad. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Dorosh Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Originally posted by Boo Radley: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Michael Dorosh: No, no, it's all in the interpretation! Read between the freakin' lines! I can barely read the words, much less between the lines. Have you sunk so low as to consider a pissed off Finnish middle schooler as worthwhile mortal enemy material? You make me sad. </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Originally posted by Michael Dorosh: It's a hard choice, isn't it.Pick a Minnesotan. There's something about those long bleak winters of the soul that really brings out the hatred in them. Plus, I don't think they have MTV in Minnesota yet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juan_gigante Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Hell, I'm not sure they have TV at all in Minnesota yet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moraine Sedai Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 In the dank, dark recesses of the universe, a stranger approaches a neat desk perched upon a dias in a small pool of light. A bulb pendulums slowly in tight circles from a foul breeze wafting down a hallway to the right. A faint glow can be seen far down the hallway. He hears laughter and thinks, among the stench, that he smells the odor of fine spirits and good food. He longs to walk down that befouled hallway in hopes of what he has heard he can find there. Surely the foulness is only to prevent the faint of heart from seeking nirvana. He steels himself. He convinces himself he is ready to face the horrors for the treasures he dreams awaits down the hall. Turning back to the desk, the stranger sees that a large and thuggish man has appeared out of the ether and now sits behind the desk glaring at the stranger. "Papers please," he grunts. "Wha?" "Your papers. Let me see them." The large man gestures impatiently as the stranger fumbles for his identification. The brutish man shuffles through the papers, then roughly shoves them back into the stranger's hands. "No good. Leave now," he grunts. "Wha?" asks the stranger again. "But I just wanted to see what it was all about. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?" asks the newcomer plaintively. "You don't listen well, do you?" With this, he reaches under the desk and pulls out a club as long as his arm and as big around. "Your papers are not in order. You have no location and no email address listed. We don't want your kind around here. Now leave. By the door or on the floor - your choice." He thumps the club into his ogreishly large hand for emphasis. "Come back when your papers are in order and we'll see." Despondently, the stranger hangs his head, folds his papers and puts them in his pocket, then turns about and starts back down the entrance hallway. Hearing a creak, he turns about and sees that the thuggish henchman is no longer at the desk. Keeping to the shadows and covering his face delicately to minimize the smell, he creeps back up to the intersection of the hallways and hangs a right. The foul odor nearly makes him gag and he dares not wonder what squelches underfoot. He MUST see what is in that room at the end of the hallway. Walking as quietly as he can, he reaches the doorway. He hears laughter again and the clink of glasses. He also hears something that sounds like tanks and machine guns, but from a distance and wonders what that could be. A show on the television perhaps? He peers cautiously around the corner. The sight he beholds is one to befuddle the mind. In the room, several Ladies lounge upon divans drinking fine wine and eating delectable treats in front of a cozy fire. In one corner, several wizened ones mumble about "the goode olde dayes" whilst playing some kind of war game on a computer. Four men ahorse sit in dark tunics and with dour expressions on their faces discussing technical issues no one else can understand. A number of ordinary men sit playing chess or talking while drinking a variety of fine spirits, ales and beers. And amdist it all, a small gnome capers - sometimes laughing, sometimes spouting profanity and making perverse gestures - clearly insane. Before he can fully appreciate what he is seeing or summon the courage to dare enter the hallowed hall, he feels a heavy hand on his shoulder and nearly faints. His blood turns to ice and his legs to jelly as he hears the large, thuggish henchman from the desk say, "I see you just wouldn't listen and do things properly. It's all about the rules, see, and I'm supposed to keep to the rules." The henchman picks up the stranger, now limp with fear, throws him over his shoulder and trudges down another, unlit and unseen hallway. Yips and howls of madmen long forgotten can be heard as they rattle their chains and hoot and throw feces at the stranger. Some just cower in the back of their cages and wet themselves. The henchman locates an empty cage and tosses the stranger in upon befouled straw, then turns and shuts the door with a loud "clank". The stranger scrambles up onto his knees and grips the bars. "Where am I?" he asks in a hoarse whisper. The henchman turns back to the stranger and, with a gleam in his eye, he grins and shows his crooked and slightly fang-like teeth. "Welcome to Coventry." He then turns and leaves heading back the way they came. The stranger hangs his head, despondent...broken. A sinister chuckle echoes back to him as he curls up on the cold, dirty floor. © [ October 06, 2005, 06:19 PM: Message edited by: Moraine Sedai ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moraine Sedai Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 By the way: *waves at NG Cav* Be safe! Sorry to hear of your losses, but keep yourself from being one of the casualties. *uncharacteristic friendly hug* Hippo Birdy to those who've had birthdays and Happy Anniversary to those wot I missed. bah *goes back to raging against the gods of the internet connection* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Originally posted by Moraine Sedai: The large man gestures... Obviously not Boo, he seems to be doing something intelligible... ....impatiently as the stranger fumbles for his identification.Yes, well... we all have our burden to bear and the Justicar more than most... obviously schizoid. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moraine Sedai Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 *lays bouquet of handpicked thistles in the donkey's paddock and pats him kindly on the nose* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 [Tenses rear legs, sends a ripple down the windward flank, fixes a squint eye towards a dim speck in the middle distance (just where a rubber gnome ought to be) and begins to tentatively nibble the most succulent and tender thistle tip that could ever break through the crusty earth. And like a harvester on the mid-Western prairies it mows forward, tail akimbo and with such deft economy of movemnet and precise motive force (that really has no place on any prairie especially Ohio) truncates and shreds the stems, leaves and heads of all matter within a carefully judged path, neck arcing this way or that to gain wide sweeps as the air fills with the gentle chitter-chatter of expert teeth. And saving the best to last it ponders a while on a unusually large and cumbersome specimen...] *snort*... sometimes, it just feels so right not being Dorosh [... and with quite a bit more force than is enough decapitates the thistle head with an abrupt snip] *SNIP* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 These are Lars' tanks. Lars is under the impression that if he bunches them all up together, they look bigger and scarier. I don't know about that, but it sure makes tagetting easier. Thank you, Lars! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 Originally posted by Moraine Sedai: The henchman turns back to the stranger and, With a gleam in his eye, he grins and shows his crooked and slightly fang-like teeth. OK, I'll put up with a lot (And lord knows I put up with THIS lot), but if my mother were to read this, she would be QUITE unhappy (And when Momma aint happy, aint NOBODY happy!). From 1970 to 1974, she spent quite a lot of money sending me to Dr. Manos (Hands of Fate) to insure that I would have nice straight teeth. And I dealt with having 4 (FOUR) teeth pulled, 3 (THREE) years of braces WITH a night brace AND another year wearing a retainer, all of which really, really screwed up my dating curriculum! But, thanks to her perseverence and a whole lot of pain on my part, I'll have you know that my teeth are neither crooked OR fang-like! Thank you very much! (p.s. But you should have seen them before that! My front teeth were so buck, I could have eaten squash through a picket fence! No lie!) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 Further proof of the innate weirdness of Minnesotans comes from this year's IgNobel prizes, given out for experiments that should never have been attempted: CHEMISTRY: An experiment at the University of Minnesota was designed to prove whether people can swim faster or slower in syrup than in water. Because Minnesotans may be safe from tsunami, but they fear the day that a tidal wave of treacle is going to sweep across the plains. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Dorosh Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 PondScum, you convinced me the first time. Would it be overly familiar just to call you Scum? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
v42below Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 Originally posted by Boo Radley: *snip* But, thanks to her perseverence and a whole lot of pain on my part, I'll have you know that my teeth are neither crooked OR fang-like! *snip* Either, or; neither nor. Other than picking insects out of your teeth, do they teach you anything in those Ohioan schools? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 Originally posted by v42below: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley: *snip* But, thanks to her perseverence and a whole lot of pain on my part, I'll have you know that my teeth are neither crooked OR fang-like! *snip* Either, or; neither nor. Other than picking insects out of your teeth, do they teach you anything in those Ohioan schools? </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 Originally posted by Boo Radley: These are Lars' tanks. Lars is under the impression that if he bunches them all up together, they look bigger and scarier. I don't know about that, but it sure makes tagetting easier. Thank you, Lars! Why don't you post the other screenie, ya rat bastage. You know, the one with all the Tigers and Panthers lined up along the back of the map edge? Btw, there were four, you missed one. Neener, neener, neeener. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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