OGSF Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Berlichtingen: That's groovin' with a Pict "Ye'll tak' the High Road and I'll tak' yer wallett!" </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Originally posted by Sir 37mm: Look… wouldn’t it be BETTER if we piddled on the weasel & then pushed HIM through the wall?No. Its thinking like this that will always make England a goober nation. But, by all means, go ahead and touch him after he's been soaking several days in a piddle puddle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Originally posted by Seanachai: Sun streaking cold — an old man wandering lonely. Taking time the only way he knows. Leg hurting bad, as he bends to pick a dog-end — he goes down to the bog and warms his feet. Feeling alone the army's up the rode salvation à la mode and a cup of tea. Aqualung my friend don't start away uneasy you poor old sod, you see, it's only me. Do you still remember December's foggy freeze when the ice that clings on to your beard is screaming agony. And you snatch your rattling last breaths with deep-sea-diver sounds, and the flowers bloom like madness in the spring. Thanks Gnome. There are worse songs to have stuck in my head Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Originally posted by Seanachai: So long as you immerse yourself in the Essence of SeanachaiOk, soaking Sir Popgun in a piddle puddle seems right and proper, but I gotta draw the line at doing the same to Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SturmSebber Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Some people's lives resemble a romatic novel, an intellectual artwork, an exciting detective.... mine resembles a cheap porn magazine. Let me tell you guys about something that happend to me this morning. Better, let me first take you back to yesterday evening. My phone rings, and a lady, nay let's just call her woman, a woman who is a client of mine on my newspaperroute asks if i can bring her some extra items the folowing morning. I would just have to ring the doorbel and she promises to come to the door and repay me for these extra items. Fine, no problem, i'm a friendly guy (inspite of what sir37mm says) and this is a small favour to do. As promised, i ring her doorbell, prepare to hand her her newspaper and the extra items i got her, as suddenly appears in front of me an almost naked female body, only a véry few inches of cloth manage to keep at least some body parts partially hidden. Leaning forward into what some would call a sensual position she greets me. interludium: Now this is the kind of thing most of you perverts here would enjoy, a new anecdote to brag about to friends and one not to tell the wife... But wait, the fun is yet to come. As my eyes try to get back their focus i notice the loose skin that probably has been used as some perverted sandingpaper and wich resembles a lot those worn-out formula one tires. As my glance goes upward towards her bosom, i see a flimsy bra, filled with what probably were two quite solid "pillows of sin" but now have transformed into somekind of evil crackled soufflé. Quickly i lower my glare, but sadly in the wrong direction! There they were.. the underpants of doom !! Words cannot describe this piece of cloathing that covered that most truely forbidden (!) fruit at the intersection of the creatures legs... Trying to withold my peristaltic movements, i quickly look upwards (trying to avoid the flimsy bra and wrinkeled skin) towards her face... a set of -more than ought to be obvious- plastic teeth grin towards me, and -i swear by god- a small stream of saliva appears near the corner of her mouth... Suddenly i realise that i am standing in the middle of a public street, inches away from an almost naked 70 year old woman, eagerly eyeballing me. "Don't mind me" a screechy voices rambles in what seems to be a far away place: "I was just preparing for a bath". "Don't mind me while i burn out my eyes with a hot poker" i try to reply , but my tongue is numbed and my facial muscles are still in shock. After what seemed like minutes but in fact were merely seconds i mumble something like "oh, no problem", while my brain screams : "run, run, you fool !". And while i take a step back, and try to avoid her greedy hands, i hand her over her stuff and quickly receive my money from her. As i walk away, more hastely than usual, towards my moped i am sure that this is how god punishes me for all the foul and perverted acts i have commited. I am convinced that whenever i am going to have the joy of intimacy with a cute, sculpted boy, i am going to see this decaying woman, grinning towards me. I'm off now , to the clinic, to see if anything can be done to prevent retinal detachment. Frightened greetings, Sturmy [ July 27, 2006, 12:48 AM: Message edited by: SturmSebber ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Thanks Gnome. There are worse songs to have stuck in my head You'll be after noticing I didn't quote the opening stanza. Sitting on a park bench Eyeing ittle girls with bad intent. Snot is running down his nose Greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes. Drying in the cold sun Watching as the frilly panties run. Feeling like a dead duck Spitting out pieces of his broken luck. You're an Evil, Vile, Vicious Son of a Bitch. But you're not a Bad Man. That opening bit wouldn't apply. Thanks for the tip on the Ann Bishop novel. It's way weird, but I'm enjoying it. Gotta love an Incubus that longs for Love and Commitment. Have you gotten together with Bauhaus and Moriarity lately? I think you lot of sods should get together and have a beer and some food, or somefink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 Originally posted by SturmSebber: Some people's lives resemble a romatic novel, an intellectual artwork, an exciting detective.... mine resembles a cheap porn magazine. Only on European newsstands. In America, you'd have to pay a serious premium to see the handsome, blue-eyed Youthful Foreign Faggot propositioned by the Crone. That's because you goddamn Europeans have the Economic sense of a fecking house pet. Here in America, we understand the 'Economic Pornography Factor'. This is the 'multiplier of effect and expense' that goes hand in hand with how sick, disturbing and wrong the image is. Simply put, if the Image/movie/act involved is disgusting enough to turn the stomach of any normal pervert, then the people who need this sort of thing to 'get off' will be willing to pay any money for it, because it's not something they will ever encounter in their day to day round of perversion. If the only way you can reach orgasm is by watching a Twenty-Something Belgian Homosexual be hideously groped and sexually and emotionally scarred by a toothless Hag in her underwear, then the chances are that you're willing to spend something on the order of the high 5 figures in order to arrive at the sort of weekend that most people without a dependency on extremely unnatural acts take for granted. Originally posted by SturmSebber: I'm off now , to the clinic, to see if anything can be done to prevent retinal detachment. Frightened greetings, Sturmy Oh, don't be a baby. You two should have been able to make up your differences by exchanging notes on technique! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SturmSebber Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Originally posted by Seanachai: Only on European newsstands. In America, you'd have to pay a serious premium to see the handsome, blue-eyed Youthful Foreign Faggot propositioned by the Crone. In Europe we believe in human rights, and porn -in every conceivable and inconceivable fashion, needs to be accesible to the common man, as surely nakedness and nastyness is what being a human being is all about! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirReal Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by SturmSebber: Some people's lives resemble a romatic novel, an intellectual artwork, an exciting detective.... mine resembles a cheap porn magazine. Only on European newsstands. In America, you'd have to pay a serious premium to see the handsome, blue-eyed Youthful Foreign Faggot propositioned by the Crone. That's because you goddamn Europeans have the Economic sense of a fecking house pet. Here in America, we understand the 'Economic Pornography Factor'. This is the 'multiplier of effect and expense' that goes hand in hand with how sick, disturbing and wrong the image is. Simply put, if the Image/movie/act involved is disgusting enough to turn the stomach of any normal pervert, then the people who need this sort of thing to 'get off' will be willing to pay any money for it, because it's not something they will ever encounter in their day to day round of perversion. If the only way you can reach orgasm is by watching a Twenty-Something Belgian Homosexual be hideously groped and sexually and emotionally scarred by a toothless Hag in her underwear, then the chances are that you're willing to spend something on the order of the high 5 figures in order to arrive at the sort of weekend that most people without a dependency on extremely unnatural acts take for granted. Originally posted by SturmSebber: I'm off now , to the clinic, to see if anything can be done to prevent retinal detachment. Frightened greetings, Sturmy Oh, don't be a baby. You two should have been able to make up your differences by exchanging notes on technique! </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Seanachai, you lil' troll, don't you work today? Your phone's been busy all night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Originally posted by Seanachai: ...demands for ever greater levels of gore...Do you remember the email which resulted from your frothing at the mouth over that one? Bet you wish you'd never posted in there, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Originally posted by Seanachai: If the only way you can reach orgasm is by watching a Twenty-Something Belgian Homosexual be hideously groped and sexually and emotionally scarred by a toothless Hag in her underwear, then the chances are that you're willing to spend something on the order of the high 5 figures in order to arrive at the sort of weekend that most people without a dependency on extremely unnatural acts take for granted. Oh give to me a shillin' for some fags and I'll pay yet back on Thursday, but if you can wait till Saturday I'm expecting a divvy from the Harpenden Building Society... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Originally posted by Seanachai: You'll be after noticing I didn't quote the opening stanza. I just love it when you talk like you're from some goober nation. Or will you be after channeling Barry Fitzgerald again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Originally posted by SturmSebber: Some people's lives resemble a romatic novel, an intellectual artwork, an exciting detective.... mine resembles a cheap porn magazine. Let me tell you guys about something that happend to me this morning.I'd really rather you didn't. Oh Christ, I can see you'll just bust if you keep all this filthy glee to yourself. ...i'm a friendly guy...Is this the punchline yet? No? Merde. As promised, i ring her doorbell, prepare to hand her her newspaper and the extra items i got her, as suddenly appears in front of me an almost naked female body, only a véry few inches of cloth manage to keep at least some body parts partially hidden. Leaning forward into what some would call a sensual position she greets me. [snip] As my glance goes upward towards her bosom, i see a flimsy bra, filled with what probably were two quite solid "pillows of sin" but now have transformed into somekind of evil crackled soufflé. Quickly i lower my glare, but sadly in the wrong direction! There they were.. the underpants of doom !! Words cannot describe this piece of cloathing that covered that most truely forbidden (!) fruit at the intersection of the creatures legs... Trying to withold my peristaltic movements, i quickly look upwards (trying to avoid the flimsy bra and wrinkeled skin) towards her face... a set of -more than ought to be obvious- plastic teeth grin towards me, and -i swear by god- a small stream of saliva appears near the corner of her mouth... Suddenly i realise that i am standing in the middle of a public street, inches away from an almost naked 70 year old woman, eagerly eyeballing me.And now in the name of decency, we will draw a veil over the subsequent narrative. Headline: STURMSEBBER FINDS FULFILLMENT IN HETEROSEXUALITY AT LAST, APOCALYPSO BEGINS! Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Originally posted by Seanachai: You're an Evil, Vile, Vicious Son of a Bitch. But you're not a Bad Man.Of course not. In order to be BAAAAAAAAD he'd have to have a motorcycle. Preferably something painted dead (what else?) black with red flames. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Originally posted by SturmSebber: I'm off now , to the clinic, to see if anything can be done to prevent retinal detachment.So....no chance of adopting a heterosexual life style then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoat Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Originally posted by Mace: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by SturmSebber: I'm off now , to the clinic, to see if anything can be done to prevent retinal detachment.So....no chance of adopting a heterosexual life style then? </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
37mm Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Bloody hell, since when did Sturmy become so pointlessly verbose… has he been taking lessons of that quadruple-damned gnome or sumfink? Anyway my email account has once again gone kaput, so all those people waiting for turns can… well… keep on waiting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Originally posted by Sir 37mm: Bloody hell...You still here? Why aren't you off in the lab counting microbes or whatever it is you soak the government for? Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Originally posted by Michael Emrys: Of course not. In order to be BAAAAAAAAD he'd have to have a motorcycle.I don't want a pickle... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 I'm so happy that it's finally Friday, and a payday and that in just 10 hours, I will be safely esconced in the local tonsil wash emporium, where lithsome young women will bring me drinks with stultifying regularity. There. I've said it and I'm glad I said it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SturmSebber Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Originally posted by Boo Radley: I'm so happy that it's finally Friday, and a payday and that in just 10 hours, I will be safely esconced in the local tonsil wash emporium, where lithsome young women will bring me drinks with stultifying regularity. There. I've said it and I'm glad I said it. Number 7587 ! Back to work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Off to the airshow. If you didn't get a turn, guess what? You still ain't getting one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Michael Emrys: Of course not. In order to be BAAAAAAAAD he'd have to have a motorcycle.I don't want a pickle... </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Originally posted by OGSF: Ah jes wanna ride on mah motor-sickle, Thank you Arlo MacGuthrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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