Hallowed is thy name Peng, as is thy challenge

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:

Friday night I had to talk to a guy in Australia to set up a weekend project for him. I'm okay now though.

Great.

No really, glad to hear it.

Seriously.

What?

No, really, I'm not kidding.

Seriously.

Now send me a turn.

Seriously.

Steve </font>

[Mace]

Originally posted by dalem:

Friday night I had to talk to a guy in Australia to set up a weekend project for him. I'm okay now though.

He however is now being given psychiatric counselling to deal with the trauma?

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:

Friday night I had to talk to a guy in Australia to set up a weekend project for him. I'm okay now though.

He however is now being given psychiatric counselling to deal with the trauma? </font>

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Counselor, your post puts me in mind of a question I've wanted to ask. I need to know what legal rights we of the Peng Challenge Thread may have in the matter of Geminus Specialis Coventry.

Now of course we understand that in normal usage Geminus Specialis Coventry would seem an oxymoron in that the relief sought by the plantiffs would be obviated by the very Geminus Specialis nature of the Coventry relief desired.

However, in this case the plantiffs find the actions of the defendent so egregious that further relief must be sought.

Joe, you really must recall your Da Vinci.

What?

No, Da Vinci doesn't run your favorite bathhouse -- SIT DOWN, bauhaus -- he was a famous Renaissance artist and . . . oh, never mind who he was, just remember what he said:

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

Yes, Joe I realize this makes the Oddstraylyuns quite cosmopolitan . . .yes, yes, and dalem, too . . . of COURSE I am not forgetting Leeo (though I have often tried), this aphorism makes him a veritable pillar of social standing.

That's not the point.

In your zeal to ensure the employment of an overly large Justicariate staff -- no, I am not criticizing the Stenographers, I am quite fond of them myself, as you well know -- I am only commenting on your commitment to employing every useless pile of steaming ****e this side of the Appalachians to work on the Justicariate's payroll.

What do I mean? For goodness' sake, Boo Radley is a perfect example!

Thank you. <small>Glad to see a glimmer of comprehension in those beady little eyes.</small>

In any event, you have forgotten the utter beauty of simplicity.

Just declare <large>FULL COVENTRY</large> and be done with it.

As a friend of the CessPool we know you'll want to advise us and pursue this action on a pro bono basis.

You're right, Joe, I WANT to work on a pro bono basis, but the demands of my family and the lifestyle to which I am accustomed require me to bill at my normal hourly rates, plus an additional fee for dealing with the Oddstraylyuns.

Do you have any idea how long it took to get the stains out of the carpet the last time they were over?

Steve

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by bauhaus:

Plus I'm spending my summer vacation planning lessons, reading, and planning classroom management for the upcoming school year. That alone is going to take me the bulk of the summer.

Now piss off you lot!

I already knew you were working at being able to not simply 'do', but also the much more difficult 'teach'. Will this be your first year teaching? Because if it's not your first year, then you're a whinging little big girl's blouse.

But if it is your first year, you bugger, then good luck to you, and you probably will need the entire summer (what with having the whole 'family' baggage...).

And for anyone who hasn't played Bauhaus, he's a fiendishly stupid and yet successful opponent. I don't know how he does it. Every move he makes looks like idiocy. And then he wins. I still wake up screaming, sometimes.

As for anything else; well, let me just say this, Bauhaus. Stand up!

You're going to teach. I salute you.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Leeo:

I had a sea cucumber once named Stuka. It would slowly crawl around the tank, dreaming of jumping 2-wheeled vehicles over sandy ground. It used to talk to me when I drew a line and snorted it. And then it would tell me to draw another, which of course I obligingly did, though it did seem to fancy fantasizing about slapping me around. Why, after several lines, me and cucumber Stuka where the best of friends. Until the day that feckin' cucumber drank all my beer and I was forced to run it over with a motorbike.

And thus ends the parable of the old cocaine cucumber and the sea of wheels.

By all the hairy, hoary, ancient weird-arsed gods, Leeo. When I did drugs, I did the Don Mexican Indio Shaman bit with relatively evolved mammals, and not the sea-going equivalent of an ambulatory pudding.

You need to straighten down and walk left, Bucky. You need to get right with the various Powers that hold the mortgage on your tacky little soul, and pull up out of the lower animals.

You are on the brink, lad, on the very brink, of going Australian yourself.

[Bugged]

Seanachai! You're back. Were you really camping? I bet your campsite was the most popular site in the entire park.

[dalem]

Seanachai, you are a dysentarious wolverine with aspirations of becoming a bull gator. Pay the quarter and call me.

Saturday night is Story Night at my place. You will tell the stories. I will Listen and take over your Deeds and Strikes. Even Lars could come if'n he wanted to.

[Seanachai]

I have returned, as I always, somehow, eventually do. Even when I don't want to. Even when I decide that my life...no, sorry, when My Life has gone elsewhere.

I wish I could quit you, Peng Challenge Thread.

But perhaps not.

Perhaps I revel at that moment, Peng Challenge Thread, when you and I slip into that tent in the middle of nowhere, with no one to see what we do but God, the Powers That Are, the Old Ones, the Justicar, the Ladies of the 'Pool, the Senior Knights, the Knights, the Squires, the SSNs, the Cheery Wafflers, the Outerboarders, any number of lackwits who did a Google search and mis-typed 'arse-bandits', and some drunk Finn who keeps insisting that he's trying to sell Hollywood on a Baltic Sea remake of an old television show to be re-titled 'Mikhail's Navy'.

Maybe I long for that moment when someone like Abbott runs his eye over my words, and, after a shudder of loathing and self-disgust, finds he's reached forward to lovingly type out a reply, reassuring himself about his purpose by showing my words to his wife so that she knows how hateful, vile and disgusting I am before he settles down to caress me with the club of his disapproval.

It's okay, Abbott. I like the pictures of your trucks. I really do. They're sleek, and intriguing, powerful and are clearly meant for cruising around town to attract the attention of other men.

When I looked away before, and mocked you, and tried to deny their inherent sensuality, and what you were trying to show us all...

Well, that wasn't me, Abbott. That was a man who wasn't comfortable with the way those trucks made him feel. That was a man who didn't realize what those trucks said about the needs of their owner. That was a man who didn't realize what it meant to you to keep showing us your 'trucks'.

But I've grown, Abbott.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Bugged:

Seanachai! You're back. Were you really camping? I bet your campsite was the most popular site in the entire park.

Yes, I spent this last weekend kayaking the Rum River (gods, could anything be more apropos?!). And we camped. We put-in and paddled 7 miles to the DNR campground. A short paddle on a river, but we figured to make camp early, cook a great meal, have a couple of strengthening glasses of wine (but only two, because wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging), and enjoy the beauty and by the gods loveliness of the river.

We did not, of course, count on the fact that the 3 mile stretch of the river before the campground would present multiple occasions where the channel was completely blocked by newly fallen trees. Have you ever hoicked up a 42 pound kayak laden with 30 pound of gear and carried it over a sandbar around a fallen tree to get back to deep water? Well, yes, everyone has. But have you ever lofted the sodding thing over a two foot thick log lying just touching the water between 8 foot high banks while standing in water up to your thighs with a rushing current, and shot the fecking thing over the top, then caught it on the other side before the current could sweep it on down to the next log jam?

Well, you may have. But have you ever done this with a 56 year old friend with skinny little girl arms who regards camping as a form of de-evolution performed by men in order to justify not having killed someone in a war? I think not.

Of course the best part was when we finally got to the DNR 'maintained' campground to find that it was at the top of an 8 foot embankment with no shoreline or shallow water, with the narrow steps that had originally been placed to reach it collapsed and washed out, and the campground clearly overgrown and inaccessible.

So, when we got there, my friend looks at me and says "So what do we do now?!

And I told her 'We go to Plan B. We keep paddling down the freaking river until we find some place that we can actually set the tent up, and if it's private land and someone shows up to complain, we apologize profusely, and explain why we're camped on their property. If necessary, we mention Lars's name, because that redneck bastard probably has a cousin living somewhere nearby, this being backwoods Minnesota.'

And that is what we did.

Hey, Lars, Deputy Carlson from the Isanti county Sheriff's department says to tell you 'Hi', and that you still owe him $20 from that time you bet you could drink a pint of Everclear and still shoot a crow on the wing while wearing your underpants on your head.

Thus endeth Part One of my camping/paddling story. Look for Part II tomorrow night.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

...

Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?

At least, we'll always have Paris; yes, we'll always have Paris.

And her little dog, too.

Steve

That was as fine a set of turned phrases as I have seen here in many a long day.

Three different sources, all of them classics, and one of them quite probably a form of self-satire.

Goddamn.

Send me a set-up, you neo-con whore.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by J Ruddy:

Ode to a Useless Twit

Oh poor, poor Paris, city of love and light,

your name is shared with the Hilton blight.

An American Princess, spoiled and lost,

out for a good time, damn the cost.

Where some famous princesses help sick and the poor

Paris acts more like a $2 whore.

That arrogant smile, that God-awful nose,

I've heard that her flatus even smells like a rose.

When her fame fades away and her fortune is spent,

and the rest of the world tells her to get bent,

I'll tell her that Canada just might be a good fit,

our Senate could use yet another useless twit.

Ah. The Dalem School of Versification. Except that most of it rhymes. Some of it doesn't scan worth a ****e, but at least this halfwit is in there pitching.

I might have to notice him in the future.

[Speedy]

Rum River that sounds very interesting.

[dalem]

What's that? A plea for some versification? I can do that.

This one's for the Ladies.

Ahem.

Seanachai Seana

Chai Seanachai Seanachai

Seanachai Seana

Thank you very much, good night!

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

For goodness' sake, Boo Radley is perfect!

Steve

Shameless flirt.

[Lars]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Hey, Lars, Deputy Carlson from the Isanti county Sheriff's department says to tell you 'Hi', and that you still owe him $20 from that time you bet you could drink a pint of Everclear and still shoot a crow on the wing while wearing your underpants on your head.

Mmm, shooting crows…could there be anything more fun? Well, shooting crows drunk, of course, but that rather goes without saying. Tell him I'll bring the $20 when they open up cormorants again.

Hope you brought a fishing rod on the Rum, some good smallmouth action in there. Nice little wee river. I'm sure the hordes of Cub Scouts that train on it for their graduation to Webelo eventually found and rescued you.

[Lars]

Originally posted by dalem:

Saturday night is Story Night at my place. You will tell the stories. I will Listen and take over your Deeds and Strikes. Even Lars could come if'n he wanted to.

Story night? Isn't that just what we call Seanachai's turn at Sword of Rome?

Btw, tell Papa Kahn the five player expansion is out. Might as well let Seanachai make another player wait.

[J Ruddy]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

But I've grown, Abbott.

Yikes! Keep your tent pole undergarment prose to yourself!

[Joe Shaw]

Well, you may have. But have you ever done this with a 56 year old friend with skinny little girl arms who regards camping as a form of de-evolution performed by men in order to justify not having killed someone in a war? I think not.

Seanachai I fear we've neglected your education. A 56 year old woman is SUPPOSED to have girlie arms. It's actually part of the original equipment along with ... well, let's take the education one step at a time.

OHMIGAWD Seanachai ... you, you were ALONE with a WOMAN at night in a tent? You didn't, you didn't ... tell us you didn't sing any songs.

Of course the best part was when we finally got to the DNR 'maintained' campground to find that it was at the top of an 8 foot embankment with no shoreline or shallow water, with the narrow steps that had originally been placed to reach it collapsed and washed out, and the campground clearly overgrown and inaccessible.

Wow, now THAT'S what I call service. Not only does ManySoda provide special "Do Not Resuscitate" campgrounds ... they even maintain them in such a way as to ensure that the order will be applicable.

Joe

[dalem]

Originally posted by Bugged:

Mom!

[Lars]

Now you know why she hasn't been returning your calls.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Lars:

Now you know why she hasn't been returning your calls.

Just one of many reasons, no doubt.

[flammenwerfer]

Originally posted by Bugged:

[/QB]

Now, THAT is a picture, worthy of the Peng thread.

[Abbott]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

I like the pictures of your trucks. I really do. They're sleek, and intriguing, powerful and are clearly meant for cruising around town to attract the attention of other men.

Heh, you just don't get it. But it's ok Steve, I never expected you to, nor cared if you would. Anyway, how was your camping trip?

I brought home a new trailer this week that I have torn down to the axle. The bearings are in good shape but the hubs have some severe rust scarring. Some cutting here, welding there and lots of grinding, new lugs and lug nuts, wheels and tires should do the trick.

1941 Chevy

[ June 26, 2007, 08:29 PM: Message edited by: Abbott ]

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Abbott:

Anyway, how was your camping trip?

I was attacked by a mink. A baby mink. It was unnervingly like being on the receiving end of your wit.

I'd tell you the whole story, but it will have to wait until tomorrow night. I had to stop and toast a friend's birthday tonight, and I'm knackered.

It was my friend Jen, who, as the Mother of Small Emma has contributed more to the betterment of the world than all of you lot put together.

Small Emma and I watched a weird DVD of old Gumby and Pokey animations that a friend sent me a while back.

I remember watching the Gumby animations when I was young. What I didn't remember was that the damn things were unspeakably bizarre. I am talking Schedule I Drugs bizarre.

But Small Friend loves them. She watches them with rapt and all too apparent incomprehension. When I ask her questions about what she just watched, it's clear that she's been taking in the claymation version of String Theory. But she demands that we watch the next one, and views them over and over.

I shudder to think what strange, psychic message is being passed on, here.