Crouching Seanachai, Hidden PENG CHALLENGE

[Lars]

Left it up to Panzer Leader, no wonder it’s screwed up, Madmatt.

Short and sweet then, The Rules:

• S) Go away.
  
  O) Go even further away.
  
  D) {***sigh***} If you’re still reading this, you’re still too close. But if you insist, PAY ATTENTION!, or go away.
  
  O) This is the Peng Challenge. Challenge someone SPECIFIC, just make sure it’s not Peng. Try a newbie SSN such as yourself, not a Knigget or an Old One. If you don’t know what a SSN, Knigget, or Old One is, go away. If your name is Iron Chef Sakai, go away now.
  
  F) The key word being CHALLENGE, sound off like you have inherited a pair from someone other than your pet hamster. If you can’t manage this, go away.
  
  F) Do not sound off about your pair. Try to act like you have a modicum of wit, style and panache OR Half of a Brain. If you won’t keep this thought in your Half of a Brain, we will boot it to the other Half, and you will go away.
  
  !) If you have any questions at all, post absolutely NOTHING! We will get back to you at our earliest incovenience. And go away (are you starting to see a trend here?).
  

{edited to make the Germans feel superior}

[ 01-14-2002: Message edited by: Lars ]</p>

[Panzer Leader]

Thanks

((sucks))

[Lars]

No problem, Panzer Leader. Now get a real job where you can slack off all day.

In other news, one little challenge to Iskander and a whole weekend is lost in an alcoholic haze pondering tactical options. Black & Tan’s are good for that. Still, it’s getting me in fightin’ trim for vacation. Even Iskander can have his uses.

Noba, your QB choice was rather pathetic. Overcast? The Justicar will be disappointed that there are no Jabos in this one. Even if he can’t fly them into the ground personally. Mewling worm that you are, you were probably afraid that he would land on top of you.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>

Originally posted by Aussie Jeff:

(I bet Lars hasn't got enough to try double Aussie trouble)<hr></blockquote>

Aussie Jeff, you lose. Your weak attempt at a challenge has been noted, a setup will be thrown at your feet tonight. You will be added to the pile of burnt Antipodean flora and fauna with relish {and maybe a little barbecue sauce}. Soon you will have lost twice.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>

Originally posted by OGSF:

Thought better of at di ye? Realized wha ye dun an' voided ye bowels ain terror? Ah'll kick ye spotty arse aboot ain a game laddie, jus' gi' mae a reason tae bother!<hr></blockquote>

OGSF, we all know the reasons Scots wear kilts. As a Scotsman can’t hold his liquor long enough for it to do him any good, he needs quick access to his wee little unit so he can pee against the walls of Edinburgh. Scots also enjoy a fresh breeze blowing up their bum as they have yet to install a toilet paper dispenser on said walls of Edinburgh. Yet I give them credit for the cunning dodge of making the amusing peccadillo of cross-dressing a national “tradition” and thereby acceptable in public.

Must make you popular in the dark back alleys of Denver.

I shall find a scenario that will let you have a Highlander “fling” {notice how the Scots always talk in pink triangle code?} and wing it your way soonest. Try not to let your skirt fly up in front of your face, nancyboy.

[Marlow]

Hello all and sundry Poolers. Nice to see that I have been missed. Just a few short points (other than the ones under El Pee’s and SlackDraggin’s heads):

{W} Any of my opponents (and you know who you are) that would like to resume our current PBEMs, please let me know.

(a) Nice thread title. TO BAD IT WAS DONE BEFORE! See Crouching Tiger, Hidden Peng Challenge You unimaginative poo poo stains couldn’t come up with anything original?

-N- I am glad to see that Comrade Jo Xia has moved over to a game where he can indulge in his Red Commie Pinko fantasies of zooming through the air in defense of the motherland.

:k: Who left the door open for all of these freakin SSNs. I blame Seanachai

{E} Did I not see Crodachoo and Eagle Boy spore in Pool of late? Nice to see some of the long timers returning (as opposed to the above mentioned SSNs).

-r- There is no point r.

(S) Feet and knees together Lorak the Lame, feet and knees together.

[dalem]

Hey Lars-

Based on your sigline I'll ask you the following:

What places do you recommend in the Twin Cities area for shooting? I've tried Armored Fire and some place in Blaine, and both were fine. Any places that are better for those of us with no rural land yet, or should I just join one of those?

Thanks.

-dale

[Croda]

What the Hell is a Lars and who let it start an MBT?

Is this the way we let the place run now? Garbage-sniffing SSNs just run rampant starting their own threads? And the title? The Next Peng Challenge Thread would have shown more wit. A little order and decorum please!

As for Marlow - I don't believe I have anything left to prove in our old game. If however you'd like to start a new one, you may be able to taunt me into it if you go out and buy Taunting for the complete and total dumbass, by the complete and total dumbass by Lars © 2001, Clueless Publishing, Inc. After a little studying up, you'll be able to start your very own MBT replete with bland title and colorless intro! If you're really good, you may even be able to goad me into a game.

[Edited because I still haven't figured out what the hell a Lars is or who let it out of its pen.]

[ 01-14-2002: Message edited by: Croda ]</p>

[Lars]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by dalem:

Hey Lars-

Based on your sigline I'll ask you the following:

What places do you recommend in the Twin Cities area for shooting? I've tried Armored Fire and some place in Blaine, and both were fine. Any places that are better for those of us with no rural land yet, or should I just join one of those?

Thanks.

-dale<hr></blockquote>

You would do best to ask Hanns. He’s a city boy and will know the best local range in town if you want to join one.

Try this link to find a free public one in any county.

http://www.dnr.state.mn.us/enforcement/ranges/

I just go out in the country and let ‘em rip. We do have a few million acres of public land here ya know.

[Lars]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Croda:

Missed the boat again.

<hr></blockquote>

If you would pay attention and not wander off for months at a time, you would know that I’m not a SSN.

Secondly, it’s Panzer Leader’s thread title, not mine, and blessed by the Bald One.

Now go wander off for months at a time again.

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Agua Perdido:

I will have a game with you, Villain. I will have my revenge. I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE.<hr></blockquote>

Revenge for what? Not keeping you from being a squire to joe? Oh very well... send a setup

[Berlichtingen]

Btw, this was a lame thread title the first time... it hasn't improved

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Pondscum:

Berli, you pestilential imp, I think it's time for another tango. I seem to recall that the last map we played on was so vile that the creator left the MBT in self-disgust. Let's see if we can do that again, eh? The fewer lost souls around here the better.<hr></blockquote>

Alas, Meeks has left us. Send a setup

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Wildman:

Your power grab is at an end, you killed my Peng prepare to die.<hr></blockquote>

Chrisl killed your Peng (note the six fingers). I on the otherhand am doing battle to return Peng. You, sir, are entirely too stupid to be allowed to remain in the gene pool, and I'm your lifeguard. Send a setup

[Goanna]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Horray for your old Uncle Stukey!, who yesterday completed his Scuba course and is now a qualified 'Open Water' diver.<hr></blockquote>

Still playing catchup I see Stukes. Ride a wussy pommie bike, got a stupid haircut and now an open water diver when your betters have been in the advanced category for 8 years.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> What places do you recommend in the Twin Cities area for shooting?<hr></blockquote>

Personally, I prefer those little tubes you have that run between the buildings way up in the air. There’s plenty of places to set up a good ambush and the folks have no place to escape to. Plus, since they are see through, plenty of people on the street have a good view. Other than that I would say anywhere in the Bard’s neighbourhood would be good.

The Battle For the Name of Peng is nearly setup. We have a 1500 pt German defence by chrisl being prepared. I am waiting for Berli’s purchases or his indication that I will purchase for both sides.

I am waiting on a turn from Moriarty who is also setting up what will undoubtedly be me giving Berli the worst public beating since Ike and Tina broke up. There is also a surrender due from the Bard but he has gone all silent. I suspect he is gnawing all the porcelain off one of garden gnome hands in consternation over his latest 10-turn shellacking by an Australian.

[Agua Perdido]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Revenge for what? <hr></blockquote>

Hell, I don't know. Do I have to have a reason? Call it pre-emptive revenge.

Agua Perdido

[BFCElvis]

Wankers.

[Slapdragon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by dalem:

Hey Lars-

Based on your sigline I'll ask you the following:

What places do you recommend in the Twin Cities area for shooting? I've tried Armored Fire and some place in Blaine, and both were fine. Any places that are better for those of us with no rural land yet, or should I just join one of those?

Thanks.

-dale<hr></blockquote>

Dalem, when I was in the twin cities 12 years ago, the Sheriff's department had an open range (I think it was called the Sheriff's Posse, but I could be thinking of a place in Florida). If you passed a short course on safety you could shoot their on off days for a small fee.

Not sure if that is the case anymore, or if I am thinking of a completely different place, but there you hav it.

[Goanna]

The "Battle For the Name of Peng" has been set up and is currently in the in-box of chrisl. I suspect that it will be hated by both combatants and therefore deemed a fair contest of idjits.

Anyone who would like to play along can e-mail me for a copy of the scenario.

[dalem]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Slapdragon:

Dalem, when I was in the twin cities 12 years ago, the Sheriff's department had an open range (I think it was called the Sheriff's Posse, but I could be thinking of a place in Florida). If you passed a short course on safety you could shoot their on off days for a small fee.

Not sure if that is the case anymore, or if I am thinking of a completely different place, but there you hav it.<hr></blockquote>

Thanks guys!

I hadn't put hole to target in quite a while (since before I moved), and had acquired a few new pistols since then. We went Saturday and MAN does my P-38 shoot straight. Somebody oughtta convince those Germans to make weaponry or somefink - they seem to be good at it. My Beretta (used) seems to have a mainspring issue, didn't like the way it cycled at all. And my Smith? Well, why didn't I get a .22 target pistol years ago? Too much fun, I tell ya.

[Lawyer]

Lars, your intro to the MBT (bad though the title is) was the best in many threads. My congratulations. Now tell us who thought it up. Your drunken girl/boyfriend??

I would like to like you more, but the "Gary Shandling" resemblance posted by those who have seen you puts me off. So I won't like you. Tough ****e.

Dalem, drop your gun, put your hands behind your head, and kneel down. An officer will be along shortly to arrest you.

[OGSF]

Ah gi' haim thas evenin' whain tha after glory were glowerin', tae feend tha a ginormous wildebeest ha' crapped all o'er mah monitor! Boot noo, as Ah sait tha wee span'l tae cleanin', Ah realized at were tha stankin' setoop fraim Lars tha stickle-backed gimp fondler.

Ye'll gi' yoor's, Jimmy!

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

PS A side-noot tae mention tha Lawyer as managed tae slap mah worthless pixeltruppen silly ain a gamey effort on a stankn' piece o' newbie created map crap. Af'n ye cud gi' a flyin' piece o' haggis gristle tha' as.

[ 01-14-2002: Message edited by: OGSF ]</p>

[Slapdragon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer:

Lars

Dalem, drop your gun, put your hands behind your head, and kneel down. An officer will be along shortly to arrest you.<hr></blockquote>

We arrest silly liberal lawyers, not upstanding gun owners like Dalem.

[Stuka]

Guns don't kill people, Lawyers kill people.

[dalem]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Slapdragon:

We arrest silly liberal lawyers, not upstanding gun owners like Dalem.<hr></blockquote>

Why thank you, Slapster. Can I print that on a card and use it as a free pass someday?

[Slapdragon]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Btw, this was a lame thread title the first time... it hasn't improved<hr></blockquote>

It is a sad thing. I suggested hidden Peng and not hidden Peng challenge. It was not a thread title, it was intended to point out the hidden Peng which threatens to burst forth from his gatesian stupor. An idea for a movie with Sean and the actor formerly known as Peng dancing across roof tops swinging sharp objects at each other.

But no, wankers had to bring the name around again.

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:

Guns don't kill people, Lawyers kill people.<hr></blockquote>

Perhaps, then, if we used the guns to kill the lawyers?

And goddamnit, Dalem and Lars, no shootingin my neighbourhood! The neighbours have been a bit unsettled and stand-offish ever since Berli and Peng's Visit.

Hello, all. I spent most of yesterday throwing up, so none of you were ever far from my thoughts. However, I'm a bit behind on turns, as a result. I shall labour manfully this evening to correct that.

And Panzer Leader, I've hesitated to mention our game because I thought you might feel shame over the fact that the AI actually had to freaking intervene in order to bring you a Minor Axis victory. I've never seen a game played before where, after every opportunity to win was thrown away by a human player, the AI actually printed out "Sod this for a game of tin soldiers", and stepped in to win the game for the less deserving side. I would have won that game, or at worst pulled a draw, if not for the complete, unbelieving frustration of the AI with your inept infantry handling.

Now, some might say this sounds like bitter grapes, but consider: I held the VL, and not lightly, but with most of a platoon and scattered units. His infantry was destroyed, routed, dead, cowering, and covered in their own bodily wastes. He had one immobilized Mark IV sitting quietly out of the way, and two live ones trundling around, out of HE, and achieving nothing. Then one of his bloody AFVs tosses a couple of AP rounds the two story light building that's also the VL, damage showing only one star, and all my bloody infantry suddenly bails out, allowing three German prisoners to also escape, and instead of running into the immediately adjecent, ally controlled buildings out of the line of fire, they haul arse down a long, open hillside, passing directly in front of one of his AFVs, which proceeded to shoot them to ****e. I end up with several of my stronger units decimated and routed, the VL all but empty, prisoners escaped, and no turns left to rectify. I've never seen the bloody Tac AI take a hand in what would have otherwise been an utter humiliation of a boastful former Squire.

However, I plan to win a sodding Nobel Prize for my study of this game, showing that even 'Computer Code' can feel pity, if the object in question is pitiable enough.