One Challenge in the Life of Peng, De Son of a Vich....

[Abbott]

Perhaps I should write a little pamphlet, "Understanding Peng in Fifteen Minutes with Only Two Brain Cells Required: It's that Fecking Simple."

Did someone say something about free Whiskey? I am here for the booze! What is Combat Mission?

[Malakovski]

Originally posted by Abbott:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr /> Perhaps I should write a little pamphlet, "Understanding Peng in Fifteen Minutes with Only Two Brain Cells Required: It's that Fecking Simple."

Did someone say something about free Whiskey? I am here for the booze! What is Combat Mission?</font>

[GunMod]

To Whom it May Concern:

I hereby officially close all PENG threads, consider them null and void, and announce myself supreme ruler.

[Abbott]

Originally posted by Gunslinger:

To Whom it May Concern:

I hereby officially close all PENG threads, consider them null and void, and announce myself supreme ruler.

Have a drink Gunswigger, it's free! After drinking a bit err... I mean reading a bit I have discovered the Penger MKIV shot glass. Armed with a 101 proof sour mash, and a Turkey emblem on the front upper hull.

[Pack Kuma]

as they say about what's irksome in horses,

"it's not the posting, it's de-ride."

I've dedicated a kuma-haiku (syllables all wrong) to this thread:

Turunipu o irimasuka?

Wakarimasen, wakarimasen

Pengu wa dare mo wakaranai

Yuki wa ki ni imasu

[Pack Kuma]

eeeeh,

Boku wa "Member" des!

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Gunslinger:

To Whom it May Concern:

I hereby officially close all PENG threads, consider them null and void, and announce myself supreme ruler.

Dear Mudslinger,

Do you understand Pig Latin?

Odsay Offsay!

[Panzer Leader]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Gunslinger:

To Whom it May Concern:

I hereby officially close all PENG threads, consider them null and void, and announce myself supreme ruler.

Dear Mudslinger,

Do you understand Pig Latin?

Odsay Offsay!</font>

[tracer]

OOPs, crap, I thought this was the bathroom sorry, LOL.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

If all the Australians were a LITLLE less concerned about Crikety (whatever) and a bit MORE concerned about the MBT maybe we could keep this this on page one where it belongs.

Joe

But Joe. CRICKET is a reflection on LIFE ITSELF. It has TRAGEDY, PATHOS, IMMENSE SADNESS and even LIFE THREATENING INJURIES {that's the 'other' countries who shall remain nameless on account of they are <U>NO FRIGGIN' GOOD</U> at this - GOD'S OWN GAME!} and wonderfullly uplifting VICTORIES, TRIUMPHS, OVERWHELMINGLY SUPERIOR GAMEY PLAY, CLEVER SLEDGING and DRUNKEN ORGIES {that's us Aussies}.

Indeed, if you look closer at The Rules Of Australian Cricket, you would find a VERY close parallel between those and The Rules Of The MBT in that:

{37} NO OUTSIDERS CAN EVER UNDERSTAND THE RULES

{thirdly} THERE ARE LOTS OF IN JOKES

{part the first} BOTH ARE WORLD RENOWNED INTERNATIONAL "SPORTS". THE ONE USES HARD RED BALLS AND A BAT TO BEAT THEM WITH, THE OTHER USES WORDS INFLECTED WITH BILE, VENOM AND TAUNT.

{???} THE VOCABULARY USED WITHIN EACH OF THESE "SPORTS" IS FULL OF UNIQUE CRYPTICS AND SLANG.

{Hah!} BOTH FORMS OF ENTERTAINMENT INDULGE IN THE POSTING OF SCORES AGAINST AN OPPONENT.

So, Mr Justiciar. As you can see, you are more closely related to the GENTLEMANLY game of CRICKET than you might care to imagine!!

Tell you what, let's you me and Macey go out the back and have a quick game huh? I'll tell you how to play. Here we go.

"Just grab that hard red ball in yer right paw and stand about 20 paces back from that wicket while I go and stand in front of this one.. Yeah, the "bunch of sticks sticking outta the ground" as you so eloquently put it *snicker*.

Okay, now turn around and FACE ME you idjit! OK. Now what ya gotta do is run towards and past the side of YOUR wicket AS FAST AS YOU CAN and AT THE SAME TIME bowl the ball OVERARM towards me AS FAST AS YOU CAN. Simple, really. And no girly underarm or baseball sidearm rubbish, oright? Macey will umpire you and stand at square leg. What's that? You don't know what "overarm" or "square leg" means?

Christ on a stick, man - forget about the leg bit and just whirl your arm like a windmill as you run in" {haw, haw - this'll look funny!}

"OK, off you go....." {Joe staggers forward, whirling his right arm like a Dervish on heat and clutching his ball as if his life depended on it. Clumsily, he finally reaches the wicket, fails to remember he has to pass BY it and crashes headfirst into the middle stump. Mace immediately yells out "NO BALL!" and the dazed and shocked Joe having realised he actually had let the ball go as he fell into the stumps replies "Of course I don't have the ball, you idiot!"

{Meanwhile, the ball, having lobbed 40 feet into the air has finally descended in slow loop to the pitch in front of AJ who is struggling not to guffaw at the tangled mess of limbs and broken stumps before him}.

"Oh lordy ... *snicker..* here it comes"

{AJ winds up with a cocking of his powerfull wrists and magnificent flourish of the bat then lunging forward at the pathetic "fruit" that Joe has delivered, SMASHES the cherry WAAAAAY over the 'Cesspool and into the Outer stands, where it lands with a sickening *THUD* on an unsuspecting SSN's thin skull.

"SIX!" {yells Macey who then turns to the befuddled Justicar who is unfortunately impaled on the leg stump and says} "Looks like you will have to retire hurt, old chum. There endeth the lesson...".

Well, like I was trying to say Joe, it's not whether you actually understand every nuance of the rules per se - it's HOW YOU PLAY THE RUDDY GAME! Which is sorta how we treat befuddled SSN's that appear to show some promise as they grope their way blindly into the dimlight of the 'pool.

Hehe.

AJ

[ November 10, 2002, 07:38 PM: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Gunslinger:

To Whom it May Concern:

I hereby officially close all PENG threads, consider them null and void, and announce myself supreme ruler.

Dear Mudslinger,

Do you understand Pig Latin?

Odsay Offsay!</font>

[Joe Shaw]

Aussie Jeff, bollocks lad, you were leg before.

Joe

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Aussie Jeff, bollocks lad, you were leg before.

Joe

I protest! You can't be out LBW if the ball hits the meat of the bat and sails over the fence!! Tell ya' what - let's call for the third umpire, Noba then. You must know what "third umpire" means, don't you? What's that? Oh, no, no! Nothing like a "fifth columnist", I assure you.

AJ

[ November 10, 2002, 08:47 PM: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]

[bauhaus]

Originally posted by Gunslinger:

To Whom it May Concern:

I hereby officially close all PENG threads, consider them null and void, and announce myself supreme ruler.

That's it, gunslinger declared us dead...pack it in boys. Sod Off bunslinger.

[bauhaus]

Originally posted by tracer:

OOPs, crap, I thought this was the bathroom sorry, LOL.

Close enough. Crap where you want.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Aussie Jeff, bollocks lad, you were leg before.

Joe

I protest! Let's call for the third umpire, then. You must know what THAT means, don't you?

AJ</font>

[bauhaus]

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

Odsay Offsay!BOO! Why are you addressing this *thingy* WOT HAS NO E-MAIL ADDY? Have you no respect for THE RULEZ!!!???

Aussie, please, more respect when using the term thingy. It is a term of what is holy and good. I am the Saint of the Immaculate Thingy and to refer to a piece of poo as a thingy, well, is......unholy. Shame!!!!

[ November 10, 2002, 08:54 PM: Message edited by: bauhaus ]

[Snarker]

Originally posted by Pack Kuma:

as they say about what's irksome in horses,

"it's not the posting, it's de-ride."

I've dedicated a kuma-haiku (syllables all wrong) to this thread:

Turunipu o irimasuka?

Wakarimasen, wakarimasen

Pengu wa dare mo wakaranai

Yuki wa ki ni imasu

You do not understand much for an Ivy Leager. See if you understand this -

MALAKAS!!!!

Git.

Yes, this means you have now been officially insulted, and may consider yourself "challenged", as if there was any doubt.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by bauhaus:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by AussieJeff:

Odsay Offsay!BOO! Why are you addressing this *thingy* WOT HAS NO E-MAIL ADDY? Have you no respect for THE RULEZ!!!???

Aussie, please, more respect when using the term thingy. It is a term of what is holy and good. I am the Saint of the Immaculate Thingy and to refer to a piece of poo as a thingy, well, is......unholy. Shame!!!!</font>

[MrPeng]

Shandorf

accidentally deleted mail you sent during a fit of anti-spamming frenzy. please resend.

Peng

[Pack Kuma]

Snarker, you appear to have something caught in your teeth.

[BFCElvis]

Wankers.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by OGSF:

Croda shud bae put ain a broon bag, set afire, an' laift on some bastarrrd's door staip after ringin' tha stinkin' door bell.

OK, you big Welsh git. I've warned you about taking my leige Croda's name in vain.

What do I have to do, whip your dung encrusted butt AGAIN? You just don't learn, do ya Sparky?

Is that a dim flicker of intelligence I see in your crossed eyes? Nah, even the Amish consider you backwards.

So, what's it going to be, SirMacUmpaLoompaUmaThurmanBabeTheBigBlueOx?

Do you apologize, or do I have to put the boot so far in, your breath smells like shoe polish? (Which would be a vast improvement, btw.)

[Stuka]

One exam down and another to go this saturday morning at 9am, then I'll be open to offers of pbems from Kniggety types only.

No SSN need apply.

(and even if you are a kniggetty type, its still no guarantee of a game so just watch it, roight?)

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Stuka:

One exam down and another to go this saturday morning at 9am, then I'll be open to offers of pbems from Kniggety types only.

No SSN need apply.

(and even if you are a kniggetty type, its still no guarantee of a game so just watch it, roight?)

Aha! I see the blud and guts of my Trench Warfare Scenario <SUP>tm</SUP> and your less than inspiring use of Rooskie Arty in our other QB is stirring your loins, so to speak Stuka old pal.

How are the Springwood Primary School Entrance exams going BTW? Are you studying French this year?

AJ

PS: Did you get to go see some of the POMMIE TEST DEBACLE at the 'Gabba?

[ November 10, 2002, 10:30 PM: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]