The Memorial Ascent of Peng Challenge (Elev. 40,000-1/2 ft.)

[Stuka]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

he certainly is not a Senior Knight

No he certainly isn't.

Bloody junior Knights these days eh?

You've got to keep the little upstarts in their place.

WE Seniour Kniggets have just gotta stick together (Not that close Bauhaus but I appreciate the effort) to keep the Hoi Pilloi, garden variety, generic-brand junior kniggetry out of affairs of state.

Isn't that roight Joe?

[CMplayer]

Originally posted by Iskander:

it's to my blog to further make the UnterSwede happy.

If you want dirt on Sweden I'd be more than happy to provide the real thing and not the phoney baloney statistics you quote at your blog. Sweden definitely has a problem. It's not easy to put a finger on it, but I'll try. Something like they're good copiers rather than innovators, but then they get hung up on minor details, miss the point and make asses of themselves. Example:

Swedish Miniature Golf

The first thing any normal person notices about this picture is that there are no windmills, fairy castles giant bananas or any of the other props that are the whole point of goofy golf. No no no. That's too American and silly. So instead they make miniature golf courses that are wickedly hard and by that I mean you have to be Tiger Woods to get the ball into the stupid hole. And then you have to join a club, be a member, and develop some uber-putting technique (like the lady in the picture) in order to succeed at playing. Take your kids to play mini golf in Sweden? Forget it, they'll be crying within 2 holes. Talk about missing the point? Typical Sweden.

Now that may seem trivial, but it's the way the Swedes do everything. Recently there were demonstrations in Gothenburg, Sweden. Now Swedish police aren't allowed to fire teargas at demonstrators. It violates their 'rights'. Great. So what happens? Things got so out of hand that a demonstrator got shot. SHOT! That is so friggin typical of this country.

Or they decide that prostitution is degrading to women. Fine, so it is. So against the recomendation of leading women's issues groups and authorities on sexual politics they pass laws (contrary to the trend in the entire rest of Europe) that drive prostitution underground and lead to a serious increase in the number of women being ill-treated by their pimps or customers, or who are held against their will smuggled, bought and sold etc. etc. Sweden, Sweden, Sweden. They fixate on some principle, get the spirit wrong, carry it out 3/4s of the way and fu*k everything up. (Kind of like the Amis in Vietnam)

Or take the famous case from the 1960s and early 70s. The Social Democrats noticed that Germany was building lots of neato modern cement and steel office buildings in all the city centers in Germany. So of course Sweden had to do the same thing. MODERNIZE! YIPPEE! MONEY! Rip down all the old beautiful buildings, destroy neighborhoods and build inhuman boxes. Oh wait....the German cities had been bombed? That's why they were building? Aha....

Down with stuff like this

and up with stuff like this:

I could go on and on but I think you get the point. Well I could actually go on and on. I could tell you about taking a trip to Oslo. That's in Norway for you geographically challenged Amis. And in Oslo I was amazed to see people rollerblading in the park. Why? Not because they were rollerblading, but because they just seemed to be out having a good time. In Sweden anyone who rollerblades in public is so incredibly self conscious that 'now I'm a rollerblader' that they come off like either a prima donna or an olympic wannabee. They can't just do anything. But just cross the border to Norway and you have normal human beings again.

Okay rant over.

[ May 29, 2002, 03:22 AM: Message edited by: CMplayer ]

[Goanna]

Right on Berli and get a furry brown dog up ya Shaw. I hereby gesump the mongrel Swede for the rights to this slimy piece of marketing ****e. And I'll be extracting more than one appology from him you can be sure, Bard. He'll be begging for a quick demise by the time I'm done "educating" him. C'mon lads, who's with me in this little taste of revolution? Think of the absolute poetic justice to people everywhere by putting a marketing swine under the control of engineering. Even a bogan such as yourself must grasp the beauty of that concept, Justiciar.

[CMplayer]

Originally posted by a wicked little man:

as I see it, it is within Goanna's right to spirit Herr Hauptmann away if he so desires

I should have known you were behind this you ungood, flatulant fuzzball! Sure, go ahead. Incite Goanna (with whom I have no quarrel) to steal my padawan. In that case I'll just choose another, I will. Someone nobody else wants. That would suit me just fine.

petulantly yours,

lil ol moi

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by CMplayer:

If you want dirt on Sweden I'd be more than happy to provide the real thing and not the phoney baloney statistics you quote at your blog. Sweden definitely has a problem. It's not easy to put a finger on it, but I'll try. Something like they're good copiers rather than innovators, but then they get hung up on minor details, miss the point and make asses of themselves...

...Okay rant over.

Be quiet.

We all know what's wrong with the Swedes, you idjit.

We were trying to be nice, and let it go.

Geier sent me an absolutely lovely bit on 'The Nature of Sweden'. A very funny piece.

Now go to your room, and read Pär Lagerkvist until you're fit company for the rest of the Thread.

Pillock.

[CMplayer]

Originally posted by Goanna:

I hereby gesump the mongrel Swede for the rights to this slimy piece of marketing ****e.

Not so fast my good sir. That is couched in words of challenge, and you won't have him without a fight. Unless you be utterly without honour and unfit for this place.

Send a setup, your choice of sides and pointysplodys, and let the squire belong to the rightful winner.

This is already according you far more of a chance to him than you deserve with your hitherto unprecedented seniority trump.

And do tell that Berli, whose machinations obviously lie behind this plot to rob me of the object of my affections, tell him that he can go to hel...no better, tell him (because I speak no longer directly to him) that I curse him. May Berli, in the life after this one, spend his days sitting on a nevermelting bag of party ice till his nuts atrophy into blueberries. And may a troop of Swedes, who love blueberries be eternally at the ready with their tupperware bowls to pluck, fill and spill, in a sisyphusian labour.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Goanna:

Right on Berli and get a furry brown dog up ya Shaw.

My almost certain knowledge of the wiles, ways, and 'if only our nation had some possibility of Rehab' language of Australia, Shaw, is that Goanna is indicating, here, that you should be sodomized by a kangaroo.

Originally posted by Goanna:

I hereby gesump the mongrel Swede for the rights to this slimy piece of marketing ****e. And I'll be extracting more than one appology from him you can be sure, Bard. He'll be begging for a quick demise by the time I'm done "educating" him. C'mon lads, who's with me in this little taste of revolution? Think of the absolute poetic justice to people everywhere by putting a marketing swine under the control of engineering. Even a bogan such as yourself must grasp the beauty of that concept, Justiciar.

Actually, and I'm conversant in most forms of gibberish currently in use by our various Commonwealth 'buddies', but this is almost incomprehensible.

Well, except for the fact that Goanna wants to have the rights to putting the boot in on The Capt, and is flipping off CMplayer and giving him the raspberry in the process.

First, let me begin by saying, Goanna, you marsupial transmission of substandard procreative fluid, that we of the Peng Challenge have always acknowledged you well.

Are you not the Eldest Australian?

We, meaning the Olde Ones, shall not merely acknowledge, but sanctify (and it's a right bitch getting Berli to acknowledge that term, lad) your absolute ****ing theft of The Capt as Squire.

We do this because we're taken with the fact that he's a right useless piece of ****e, and only the intervention of a Serious Player within the Peng Challenge Thread (not to mention that you Aussie bastards are all pretty much lost souls, anyway, and anything you want to attempt to redeem can only do you credit), can properly bring him into the fold (Sit Down, Mace!)

So, Goanna. He's yours.

CMplayer, first explain how you became a Squire, and then how you became a Knight, and then stop whinging.

We'll give you the next call on some really useless idjit.

Now, explain to us why you Swedes have some sort of sordid festival that requires young women to set their own hair on fire during the Winter Solstice, and why you're worshipping Italians in the process.

Take your time, lad.

[Mace]

Originally posted by Goanna:

I assume that you plan to treat me to a Geelong match prior to any other activities and that I can leave the diamond necklace at home as you will have some pearls for me to wear?

xxx) Is Geelong (Carna Cats) still playing this year?

Pi) I've got some black pearls. I find them on the ground out in the sheep paddock.

Mace

[Mace]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Now, granted, CMPlayer (through no fault of mine I assure you) is a Knight (Now that hurt to say), he certainly is not a Senior Knight, and therefore is NOT Goanna's peer.

Now look here!

I somehow missed out on senior Knight status, even though I've been here for some considerable time.

Regardless, I'm now upset that suddenly these newby Knights have the same social standing as me. And while being associated with them is fine in that, in comparison, they really make me look good, I feel it against my dignity as the royal sheep shagg... I mean attendant.

So, I have no choice but to make myself Not quite Senior knight, but far superior to the standard every day Knight. Elders, I beseech you to grant me this boon (it's embarrising being associated with this, this rabble. Sheesh)

Mace

Btw. I don't need to point out that I am one of those annointed to carry out the holy quest on behalf of BTS regarding that that will not be named (*cough* NDA *cough*). I thus should at least get recognition for that.

[ May 29, 2002, 04:44 AM: Message edited by: Mace ]

[CMplayer]

Bard, I repeat that this abortion of justice is just not right even within the bureaucratic mire of 'cess legalities and kangaroo courts. If Goanna wants my rightful squire, he will have to fight for him, by CM duel, as per the founding, ultimate precedent of the Peng Challenge Thread, which was a challenge to a game. Wake up to your hangover and realize this gnawing, throbbing truth, the 6:00 AM truth, the truth that it is you who art the pillock here.

[CMplayer]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Now, explain to us why you Swedes have some sort of sordid festival that requires young women to set their own hair on fire during the Winter Solstice, and why you're worshipping Italians in the process.

Sure, just as soon as you explain the Great American Turkey Sacrifice, it's connection to Injuns, the origin of the expression 'get stuffed', and why the only thing you worship is your own face in the mirror.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Now, granted, CMPlayer (through no fault of mine I assure you) is a Knight (Now that hurt to say), he certainly is not a Senior Knight, and therefore is NOT Goanna's peer.

Now look here!

I somehow missed out on senior Knight status, even though I've been here for some considerable time.

Regardless, I'm now upset that suddenly these newby Knights have the same social standing as me. And while being associated with them is fine in that, in comparison, they really make me look good, I feel it against my dignity as the royal sheep shagg... I mean attendant.

So, I have no choice but to make myself Not quite Senior knight, but far superior to the standard every day Knight. Elders, I beseech you to grant me this boon (it's embarrising being associated with this, this rabble. Sheesh)

Mace

Btw. I don't need to point out that I am one of those annointed to carry out the holy quest on behalf of BTS regarding that that will not be named (*cough* NDA *cough*). I thus should at least get recognition for that.</font>

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by CMplayer:

Bard, I repeat that this abortion of justice is just not right even within the bureaucratic mire of 'cess legalities and kangaroo courts. If Goanna wants my rightful squire, he will have to fight for him, by CM duel, as per the founding, ultimate precedent of the Peng Challenge Thread, which was a challenge to a game. Wake up to your hangover and realize this gnawing, throbbing truth, the 6:00 AM truth, the truth that it is you who art the pillock here.

Actually, justice is almost as scarce a quantity in the Peng Challenge Thread as it is in the sodding Real World.

And CMplayer, my little lad, we are both the pillocks here.

Now, I'd be the first to say that a good challenge is just the thing to resolve a conflict of stupidity here in the Thread.

But we all know that a 'game' can take weeks, if not months, to complete.

Are we to leave the egregious, but possibly redeemable halfwit The Capt in limbo while you and Goanna battle over who shall lead him into the light?

I think not.

So, we shall attempt another solution.

There shall be an exchange of 'Taunts' between you and Goanna on this matter.

You, as the wounded party, shall hear his first effort on this matter, and have the right of response. Then he shall reply to your tasking, and you shall have the final word.

The Olde Ones shall judge your exchange, and appoint such judges as are necessary to avoid any suggestion of favoritism.

Goanna, you are called!

Explain to CMplayer why he is worthless, and why you should be the one to administer the Boot of guidance to the silly arsed being known as the Capt.

[CMplayer]

A battle of taunts? Wouldn't it be better to just cut The_Capt down the middle and share him? Does anyone have a bandsaw?

[Mace]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Oh for the love of all the gods, Mace even including the really stupid ones, you're a Knight, a bloody Seniour Knight, and if you hadn't made such a sodding point about your last name, and not being willing to be a 'squire' in the early days, there'd be no bloody mistake about your standing.

But when the Olde Ones got together, lo, these many moons ago, and discussed the fact that you unashamedly admitted to having a penchant for sheep, we agreed that anyone that bloody strange was pretty much a Knight of the Cesspool, and your early and almost continuously annoying participation assured your 'Seniour' Knight status.

We'll, I'm glad I've got that in writing.

Mace

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Lars:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Persephone:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Lars:

They gazed up at the lofty summit, awed by the mighty bastion which reared its majestic head against the cloudless sky...

...and to their horror saw a strange man in a dress singing and twirling around on the mountain top.

Persephone</font>

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Stuka:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

[When are you going to apologize to the gods?

Starting with me, of course.</font>

[Berlichtingen]

originally posted by CMplayer:

my padawan

What the Hell is a padawan? Sounds like low man in a George Lucas circle jerk

[ May 29, 2002, 07:39 AM: Message edited by: Berlichtingen ]

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />originally posted by CMplayer:

my padawan

What the Hell is a padawan? Sounds like low man in a George Lucas circle jerk</font>

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

I am out of touch.

I am trying to get caught up on theThread, and I owe about 8 people turns.

I apologize, and have only this to say:

Hardware failure.

Dash it all...

Here I was, making my own memorial ascent (more like spending time in purgatory reading the curent thread from first post), trying to avoid any more references to those Julie Andrews look-alikes and covering my ears to keep out the sing-songs when I stumbled on this post.

Who is the idjit that left the post in the middle of the path anyway?!? Seanachai... no surprise there.

And I was just building up to a rip-roaring-bad-tequila-and-jalapenos-burn-Seanachai-a-new-exit kind of post about how slow he has been with his turn when he drops this poor lamentation about his hardware failure.

Being the bard he is, we all know that he seldom calls a spade a spade. Maybe its the bardiness in him that would make him call it a shovel or a holy implement of excavation or somefink like that.

So we have to assume that when he mentions a hardware failure, it's not in the sense that all the rest of us would think, like a computer. Oh no. Surely, such a small incident would delay normal folk a day or two. So I have to assume that it is something else... something more personal...

Our pity is with you Bard in your time of e,r difficulty... I hope she wasn't too disappointed with you. As a parting statement, just remember, our thoughts are with you, most notably the "Better you than me" thought.

Have a nice day.

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by Moriarty:

How's about a wee update?

Since you asked, I will provide.

Herr Oberst is not whining, he's avoiding all my splodey things in the same Andreas-concocted scenario that BG'sBH (see above) is not avoiding my splodey things.

So where's the turn you gamey little surrender monkey?

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by CMplayer:

... not a mere snip!, but a bloody great WHOMP! with an axe to fell that post...

That was, without a doubt, the most blatant display of 'It's not my fault, I'm swedish!' I have ever had the displeasure to read.

Just Handle it!

[Herr Oberst]

And yes, I did arrive at work extra early today, only to find that the database weasels are revving the schema this fine morning, and I have no damn server to work with. So instead, I am here to torment the thread...

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

And CMplayer, my little lad, we are both the pillocks here.

Probably the truest statement I've ever read here.

Are we to leave the egregious, but possibly redeemable halfwit The Capt in limbo while you and Goanna battle over who shall lead him into the light?

I think not.

So, we shall attempt another solution.

There shall be an exchange of 'Taunts' between you and Goanna on this matter.

Oh good Lord! The way you two are fighting over him why don't you just pull each other's hair and administer a series of bitch slaps! If that doesn't work, just hit each other with your purses.

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />originally posted by CMplayer:

my padawan

What the Hell is a padawan? Sounds like low man in a George Lucas circle jerk</font>