Peng west of the Pecos: The Challenge goes to Texas

[Leeo]

Originally posted by dalem:

Computers are your friends.

You will be receiving a set-up from me for that little quip, boyo, you can be sure. Eventually. Yeah, that's it, eventually.

Computers are your friends, all right. The kind of friends who borrow your car and then gain the attention of several rural sheriff's departments with said mechanical conveyance, and then return said vehicle without informing you that the car is now "wanted" by every law enforcement agent in 4 adjoining counties.

Friends like the ones who call you at 3:30 am to have you come bail them out.

Friends who "borrow" money.

Friends upon whom you can't depend when YOU need a bail out at 3:30 am.

Friends who "needed a place to stay for a couple of days" 6 months ago and are still eating through your refrigerator.

Oh yes, Computers are our friends.

[Leeo]

Originally posted by dalem:

Computers are your friends.

You will be receiving a set-up from me for that little quip, boyo, you can be sure. Eventually. Yeah, that's it, eventually.

Computers are your friends, all right. The kind of friends who borrow your car and then gain the attention of several rural sheriff's departments with said mechanical conveyance, and then return said vehicle without informing you that the car is now "wanted" by every law enforcement agent in 4 adjoining counties.

Friends like the ones who call you at 3:30 am to have you come bail them out.

Friends who "borrow" money.

Friends upon whom you can't depend when YOU need a bail out at 3:30 am.

Friends who "needed a place to stay for a couple of days" 6 months ago and are still eating through your refrigerator.

Oh yes, Computers are our friends.

[dalem]

Originally posted by Leeo:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:

Computers are your friends.

You will be receiving a set-up from me for that little quip, boyo, you can be sure. Eventually. Yeah, that's it, eventually.

Computers are your friends, all right. The kind of friends who borrow your car and then gain the attention of several rural sheriff's departments with said mechanical conveyance, and then return said vehicle without informing you that the car is now "wanted" by every law enforcement agent in 4 adjoining counties.

Friends like the ones who call you at 3:30 am to have you come bail them out.

Friends who "borrow" money.

Friends upon whom you can't depend when YOU need a bail out at 3:30 am.

Friends who "needed a place to stay for a couple of days" 6 months ago and are still eating through your refrigerator.

Oh yes, Computers are our friends.</font>

[dalem]

Originally posted by Leeo:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:

Computers are your friends.

You will be receiving a set-up from me for that little quip, boyo, you can be sure. Eventually. Yeah, that's it, eventually.

Computers are your friends, all right. The kind of friends who borrow your car and then gain the attention of several rural sheriff's departments with said mechanical conveyance, and then return said vehicle without informing you that the car is now "wanted" by every law enforcement agent in 4 adjoining counties.

Friends like the ones who call you at 3:30 am to have you come bail them out.

Friends who "borrow" money.

Friends upon whom you can't depend when YOU need a bail out at 3:30 am.

Friends who "needed a place to stay for a couple of days" 6 months ago and are still eating through your refrigerator.

Oh yes, Computers are our friends.</font>

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Hey PAL! Don't be laying this at my door. I have consistently and forthrightly opposed this crop of simpletons from day one. Unlike some of the "Mr. Rogers, it's a wonderful day in the CessPool and won't YOU be my neighbor" crowd of lickspittles (I'm looking at YOU Patch) I have tried to maintain some standards around here.

As to YOUR contributions to this thread and your alleged originality. I've seen more originality from my dog when he chooses to lick from the left side rather than the right ... and it's a sight more entertaining than reading YOUR drivel.

And OGSF? Don't make me laugh. He might, I suppose, have been funny at one time, but the bloom is off the rose. There are only so many iterations of "ye poot sniffin' idjits" and "me wee spaniel" that a guy can take before ennui sets in with a vengence.

I despair ... I truly do.

Joe

Joe, I could be witty (yes, I can) and make a complete fool out of you, but I think you really need a friend right now...so I'll be nice to you this time.

Here's a little singsong for you Joe:

You Are Special

© 1968, Fred M. Rogers

You are my friend

You are special

You are my friend

You're special to me.

You are the only one like you.

Like you, my friend, I like you.

In the daytime

In the nighttime

Any time that you feel's the right time

For a friendship with me, you see

F-R-I-E-N-D special

You are my friend

You're special to me.

There's only one in this wonderful world

You are special.

*Sniff* *Sniff*...wasn't that special?

Persephone

[ May 10, 2002, 01:00 PM: Message edited by: Persephone ]

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Hey PAL! Don't be laying this at my door. I have consistently and forthrightly opposed this crop of simpletons from day one. Unlike some of the "Mr. Rogers, it's a wonderful day in the CessPool and won't YOU be my neighbor" crowd of lickspittles (I'm looking at YOU Patch) I have tried to maintain some standards around here.

As to YOUR contributions to this thread and your alleged originality. I've seen more originality from my dog when he chooses to lick from the left side rather than the right ... and it's a sight more entertaining than reading YOUR drivel.

And OGSF? Don't make me laugh. He might, I suppose, have been funny at one time, but the bloom is off the rose. There are only so many iterations of "ye poot sniffin' idjits" and "me wee spaniel" that a guy can take before ennui sets in with a vengence.

I despair ... I truly do.

Joe

Joe, I could be witty (yes, I can) and make a complete fool out of you, but I think you really need a friend right now...so I'll be nice to you this time.

Here's a little singsong for you Joe:

You Are Special

© 1968, Fred M. Rogers

You are my friend

You are special

You are my friend

You're special to me.

You are the only one like you.

Like you, my friend, I like you.

In the daytime

In the nighttime

Any time that you feel's the right time

For a friendship with me, you see

F-R-I-E-N-D special

You are my friend

You're special to me.

There's only one in this wonderful world

You are special.

*Sniff* *Sniff*...wasn't that special?

Persephone

[ May 10, 2002, 01:00 PM: Message edited by: Persephone ]

[Croda]

I'm thinking that the U.S. should sell Sweden to Australia, or at least to Arkansas, two places where recognition of the obvious and commonplace automatically cast a person as material worth saving for breeding outside of the family unit. Suffice it to say that none of our resident Swedes would be in danger of such a radical change to their cultural norms.

How nice it is to see my Squireling making good. He picks his own fights without running home to old Croda now and on occasion practices personal hygiene of some sort. As soon as he can drop the hygiene altogether, we can vote him in as new Justagrog.

[Croda]

I'm thinking that the U.S. should sell Sweden to Australia, or at least to Arkansas, two places where recognition of the obvious and commonplace automatically cast a person as material worth saving for breeding outside of the family unit. Suffice it to say that none of our resident Swedes would be in danger of such a radical change to their cultural norms.

How nice it is to see my Squireling making good. He picks his own fights without running home to old Croda now and on occasion practices personal hygiene of some sort. As soon as he can drop the hygiene altogether, we can vote him in as new Justagrog.

[Boo Radley]

And speaking of fights, let's take a peek up the old pantleg and see what's been going on in the war dept., shall we?

Aussie Jeff: In game two, he's making a very good last ditch stand at the second flag, but he may want to take a look over his shoulder...

In game three (a nasty little road apple that he designed himself, called "I kill you fast, right now" or something similar), his armor has totally obliterated my first line of defense. I will now have to rely on my second line, which consists of some Ht's and the second and third runners-up in the 1987 "Alfred E. Newman Look-Alike Contest". It doesn't look good.

Crodaburg: Ye gods...it's like the Mobius strip of games. I can see R_Leete and myself in some home fror the chronically befuddled still trying to finish this thing. Synopsis? I kill him and he kills me...and there's lots more where that came from.

Sock Monkey I think we have two moves left in the game. He has armor. I got plenty of nothin'. I still hold one flag though. Maybe if I can just keep him distracted...

Noba: Expect a "Cease Fire" request in the next e-mail. In this game, I was violated. And not in a nice way.

dalem: It's gotten pretty quiet on the battlefield of late. My men are going door to door looking for ammo and his guys are all dressing up like French onion salesmen, I don't know why.

OGSF: Just getting underway. He was ranting in an e-mail, something about cooking porridge...I don't know...he drinks alot, right?

Simon: Things are just starting to heat up. Lot's of 'splody stuff. It's neat-o!

Sir(you have no idea how much it pains me to say that)Yeknodathon: Actually sent me a couple of moves the other day. I almost remembered what we were doing.

Game 1: There is much dying involved and will be much, much more in the next move or two. But, it's really nothing to concern yourself with, Yeckie, nope nothing at all.

Game 2: Devised by Goanna&Berli, LTD: Yep, move 11 out of 20 and still no sign of the enemy. What's this called again? "Death by boredom?"

I think that's it. If I've forgotten anyone it's just because I really think so very little of you.

[Boo Radley]

And speaking of fights, let's take a peek up the old pantleg and see what's been going on in the war dept., shall we?

Aussie Jeff: In game two, he's making a very good last ditch stand at the second flag, but he may want to take a look over his shoulder...

In game three (a nasty little road apple that he designed himself, called "I kill you fast, right now" or something similar), his armor has totally obliterated my first line of defense. I will now have to rely on my second line, which consists of some Ht's and the second and third runners-up in the 1987 "Alfred E. Newman Look-Alike Contest". It doesn't look good.

Crodaburg: Ye gods...it's like the Mobius strip of games. I can see R_Leete and myself in some home fror the chronically befuddled still trying to finish this thing. Synopsis? I kill him and he kills me...and there's lots more where that came from.

Sock Monkey I think we have two moves left in the game. He has armor. I got plenty of nothin'. I still hold one flag though. Maybe if I can just keep him distracted...

Noba: Expect a "Cease Fire" request in the next e-mail. In this game, I was violated. And not in a nice way.

dalem: It's gotten pretty quiet on the battlefield of late. My men are going door to door looking for ammo and his guys are all dressing up like French onion salesmen, I don't know why.

OGSF: Just getting underway. He was ranting in an e-mail, something about cooking porridge...I don't know...he drinks alot, right?

Simon: Things are just starting to heat up. Lot's of 'splody stuff. It's neat-o!

Sir(you have no idea how much it pains me to say that)Yeknodathon: Actually sent me a couple of moves the other day. I almost remembered what we were doing.

Game 1: There is much dying involved and will be much, much more in the next move or two. But, it's really nothing to concern yourself with, Yeckie, nope nothing at all.

Game 2: Devised by Goanna&Berli, LTD: Yep, move 11 out of 20 and still no sign of the enemy. What's this called again? "Death by boredom?"

I think that's it. If I've forgotten anyone it's just because I really think so very little of you.

[MrSpkr]

Yakupafurball made kanigget.

That is so, special.

Perhaps now he'll find the time to SEND THE BLEEDIN' SETUP FROM OGSF/JOE BEFORE CM LCXIV (Combat Mission: Beyond the Stars) COMES OUT ON HOLOGRAPH!!!

Just a hint.

Steve

[MrSpkr]

Yakupafurball made kanigget.

That is so, special.

Perhaps now he'll find the time to SEND THE BLEEDIN' SETUP FROM OGSF/JOE BEFORE CM LCXIV (Combat Mission: Beyond the Stars) COMES OUT ON HOLOGRAPH!!!

Just a hint.

Steve

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

...while they attemp to determine which brand of Metamucil-type product has the most fiber.

Actually, Boo, this one's not difficult. You simply stand there in the aisle and sample each type. The one that tastes most like sand is your winner.

Oh, I know what you're thinking to yourself; that you'll get in trouble for standing there ripping off the little tamper proof caps and shredding the aluminum foil sealer so that you can stick a carefully wetted finger into each container and pop it into your mouth.

Well, lad, I'm here to tell you it's not so. Now I am not a looming or freakishly large person like yourself, but my experience is that even short, odd looking people indulging in this sort of behaviour, while muttering about 'love struck donkeys', 'Ohio Firesign Theatre freaks', 'the Wasteland and the Olde Ones' and 'the Peng Challenge', go pretty much unmolested by even the largest and most brutal looking security guard, let alone fussy, underpayed, overstressed retail employees.

They just back off and call for cleanup on that aisle. It's simply not worth the risk.

Oh, occasionally some toad who was judged 'too mentally disturbed' even to be an American Law Enforcement officer (quick thanks to Brian for all the pertinent info in that quarter), but was deemed sufficiently mentally ill to actually want to work as a security guard dealing with retail customers, will come up, covered in leather and fake badge, with taser, pepper-spray, flashlights and clubs, and ask you "just what the hell you think you are doing?"

Just thrust out a sticky finger covered with granulated soil extract and say loudly "Lick this! Does that taste like 'oranges' to you?"

They may ready some sort of weapon, but they'll back off quick while trying to figure out what to do next. You then loudly proclaim (to the people standing safely at either end of the aisle, watching intently) "Oh, C'mon! Let me guess? You're afraid to have another guys finger in your mouth in public, right?"

Even if he has a gun, he will probably back up even further. Do not advance upon him, as this might panic him. Instead, roll your eyes and mug shamelessly for the audience that's collected, and is by now far more amused at the expense of the 'Officer' than they are concerned about the crazy man on aisle 8, and say "Guns, stun-rods, and tear gas grenades, and he's afraid of a finger with Metamucil on it!"

Then turn and hold your finger out again, and exclaim "You do know you're supposed to take it orally, don't you? Is that why you're so afraid? Did your Mother make a mistake with the directions when you were little?"

At this point you are running about a 20% risk that he will shoot you, but usually at the mention of his Mother he will turn and run. The likelihood of running is greatly increased if he used to be an altar boy.

[ May 10, 2002, 04:26 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

...while they attemp to determine which brand of Metamucil-type product has the most fiber.

Actually, Boo, this one's not difficult. You simply stand there in the aisle and sample each type. The one that tastes most like sand is your winner.

Oh, I know what you're thinking to yourself; that you'll get in trouble for standing there ripping off the little tamper proof caps and shredding the aluminum foil sealer so that you can stick a carefully wetted finger into each container and pop it into your mouth.

Well, lad, I'm here to tell you it's not so. Now I am not a looming or freakishly large person like yourself, but my experience is that even short, odd looking people indulging in this sort of behaviour, while muttering about 'love struck donkeys', 'Ohio Firesign Theatre freaks', 'the Wasteland and the Olde Ones' and 'the Peng Challenge', go pretty much unmolested by even the largest and most brutal looking security guard, let alone fussy, underpayed, overstressed retail employees.

They just back off and call for cleanup on that aisle. It's simply not worth the risk.

Oh, occasionally some toad who was judged 'too mentally disturbed' even to be an American Law Enforcement officer (quick thanks to Brian for all the pertinent info in that quarter), but was deemed sufficiently mentally ill to actually want to work as a security guard dealing with retail customers, will come up, covered in leather and fake badge, with taser, pepper-spray, flashlights and clubs, and ask you "just what the hell you think you are doing?"

Just thrust out a sticky finger covered with granulated soil extract and say loudly "Lick this! Does that taste like 'oranges' to you?"

They may ready some sort of weapon, but they'll back off quick while trying to figure out what to do next. You then loudly proclaim (to the people standing safely at either end of the aisle, watching intently) "Oh, C'mon! Let me guess? You're afraid to have another guys finger in your mouth in public, right?"

Even if he has a gun, he will probably back up even further. Do not advance upon him, as this might panic him. Instead, roll your eyes and mug shamelessly for the audience that's collected, and is by now far more amused at the expense of the 'Officer' than they are concerned about the crazy man on aisle 8, and say "Guns, stun-rods, and tear gas grenades, and he's afraid of a finger with Metamucil on it!"

Then turn and hold your finger out again, and exclaim "You do know you're supposed to take it orally, don't you? Is that why you're so afraid? Did your Mother make a mistake with the directions when you were little?"

At this point you are running about a 20% risk that he will shoot you, but usually at the mention of his Mother he will turn and run. The likelihood of running is greatly increased if he used to be an altar boy.

[ May 10, 2002, 04:26 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Seanachai]

I find the casting down of Yeknod and Boo Radley to the status of Knight both right and proper.

Yeknod, you see fills me with a sense of peaceful reassurance. When I was younger, we had one dog that was run over by the G&K Cleaner truck, and another that was brutally attacked and killed by another larger dog. With Yeknod, all those nightmares of pet-death fade away. At last, a pet whose sudden and brutal demise won't result in tears and anxiety.

Also, if I was to be truthful, I rather like his patois. It delights me. Unlike OGSF, whom I always completely understand, I'm sometimes left puzzled by Yeknod. As a bard and storyteller, it is good that the challenge of language continue, as it keeps you mentally sharp and wondering.

As for Boo Radley, well, what can I say. Perhaps I said it best in one of my emails to Boo about being a Squire:

Now, I love you as though you were the child I never had, and so did not have the chance to to get drunk in front of you, and curse you, and work hard to damage your sense of self esteem and ruin your self image, leaving emotional scars and traumas that would haunt you throughout the rest of your life. The Peng Challenge Thread has given me a chance that I thought forever lost to me, without all the bother of actually having children or the guilt of ruining their lives. So for my money, the more of you I get a chance to emotionally damage by means of the Peng Challenge Thread, the better, filling up that empty place in side with warm images of myself chasing you about with my belt, knocking over the Christmas tree in my drunkenness, while shouting that you will never amount to anything and you're a horrible disappointment to me, while wishing I'd thrown you to the pit-bulls with my own hands.

So now, Boo, you're a Knight. I'm so proud of you. And I was right, you never will amount to anything. And the pit-bulls would have yacked you up again, in any case.

Now, I haven't been around much lately, but part of that's been the Real World™, and the last few days a particularly unpleasant aspect of the Real World™, which is growing old. I've spent several of the last few days being wished well, wined, dined, and tormented by friends who rush to point out that I'm older than two of the American States. There will probably be a bit more of it tonight.

I will come home, later, and, after receiving congratulatory and smarmy phone calls from the States of Alaska and Hawaii, reminding me that 'I'm older than either of them', I will probably get on again and get turns and taunts out to many of you.

What the hell did I just step in? Who started this Thread?

[ May 10, 2002, 04:48 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Seanachai]

I find the casting down of Yeknod and Boo Radley to the status of Knight both right and proper.

Yeknod, you see fills me with a sense of peaceful reassurance. When I was younger, we had one dog that was run over by the G&K Cleaner truck, and another that was brutally attacked and killed by another larger dog. With Yeknod, all those nightmares of pet-death fade away. At last, a pet whose sudden and brutal demise won't result in tears and anxiety.

Also, if I was to be truthful, I rather like his patois. It delights me. Unlike OGSF, whom I always completely understand, I'm sometimes left puzzled by Yeknod. As a bard and storyteller, it is good that the challenge of language continue, as it keeps you mentally sharp and wondering.

As for Boo Radley, well, what can I say. Perhaps I said it best in one of my emails to Boo about being a Squire:

Now, I love you as though you were the child I never had, and so did not have the chance to to get drunk in front of you, and curse you, and work hard to damage your sense of self esteem and ruin your self image, leaving emotional scars and traumas that would haunt you throughout the rest of your life. The Peng Challenge Thread has given me a chance that I thought forever lost to me, without all the bother of actually having children or the guilt of ruining their lives. So for my money, the more of you I get a chance to emotionally damage by means of the Peng Challenge Thread, the better, filling up that empty place in side with warm images of myself chasing you about with my belt, knocking over the Christmas tree in my drunkenness, while shouting that you will never amount to anything and you're a horrible disappointment to me, while wishing I'd thrown you to the pit-bulls with my own hands.

So now, Boo, you're a Knight. I'm so proud of you. And I was right, you never will amount to anything. And the pit-bulls would have yacked you up again, in any case.

Now, I haven't been around much lately, but part of that's been the Real World™, and the last few days a particularly unpleasant aspect of the Real World™, which is growing old. I've spent several of the last few days being wished well, wined, dined, and tormented by friends who rush to point out that I'm older than two of the American States. There will probably be a bit more of it tonight.

I will come home, later, and, after receiving congratulatory and smarmy phone calls from the States of Alaska and Hawaii, reminding me that 'I'm older than either of them', I will probably get on again and get turns and taunts out to many of you.

What the hell did I just step in? Who started this Thread?

[ May 10, 2002, 04:48 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Actually, Boo, this one's not difficult. You simply stand there in the aisle and sample each type. The one that tastes most like sand is your winner.

Oh, I know what you're thinking to yourself; that you'll get in trouble for standing there ripping off the little tamper proof caps and shredding the aluminum foil sealer so that you can stick a carefully wetted finger into each container and pop it into your mouth.

Well, lad, I'm here to tell you it's not so. Now I am not a looming or freakishly large person like yourself, but my experience is that even short, odd looking people indulging in this sort of behaviour, while muttering about 'love struck donkeys', 'Ohio Firesign Theatre freaks', 'the Wasteland and the Olde Ones' and 'the Peng Challenge', go pretty much unmolested by even the largest and most brutal looking security guard, let alone fussy, underpayed, overstressed retail employees.

They just back off and call for cleanup on that aisle. It's simply not worth the risk.

Oh, occasionally some toad who was judged 'too mentally disturbed' even to be an American Law Enforcement officer (quick thanks to Brian for all the pertinent info in that quarter), but was deemed sufficiently mentally ill to actually want to work as a security guard dealing with retail customers, will come up, covered in leather and fake badge, with taser, pepper-spray, flashlights and clubs, and ask you "just what the hell you think you are doing?"

Just thrust out a sticky finger covered with granulated soil extract and say loudly "Lick this! Does that taste like 'oranges' to you?"

They may ready some sort of weapon, but they'll back off quick while trying to figure out what to do next. You then loudly proclaim (to the people standing safely at either end of the aisle, watching intently) "Oh, C'mon! Let me guess? You're afraid to have another guys finger in your mouth in public, right?"

Even if he has a gun, he will probably back up even further. Do not advance upon him, as this might panic him. Instead, roll your eyes and mug shamelessly for the audience that's collected, and is by now far more amused at the expense of the 'Officer' than they are concerned about the crazy man on aisle 8, and say "Guns, stun-rods, and tear gas grenades, and he's afraid of a finger with Metamucil on it!"

Then turn and hold your finger out again, and exclaim "You do know you're supposed to take it orally, don't you? Is that why you're so afraid? Did your Mother make a mistake with the directions when you were little?"

At this point you are running about a 20% risk that he will shoot you, but usually at the mention of his Mother he will turn and run. The likelihood of running is greatly increased if he used to be an altar boy.

Ummmm....Übergnome...I think you are in need of a little singsong too...

It's Such a Good Feeling

© 1970, Fred M. Rogers

It's such a good feeling to know you're alive.

It's such a happy feeling: You're growing inside.

And when you wake up ready to say,

"I think I'll make a snappy new day."

It's such a good feeling, a very good feeling,

The feeling you know that we're friends.

Feeling better now Übergnome? A happy singsong is always better than Metimucil.

Persephone

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Actually, Boo, this one's not difficult. You simply stand there in the aisle and sample each type. The one that tastes most like sand is your winner.

Oh, I know what you're thinking to yourself; that you'll get in trouble for standing there ripping off the little tamper proof caps and shredding the aluminum foil sealer so that you can stick a carefully wetted finger into each container and pop it into your mouth.

Well, lad, I'm here to tell you it's not so. Now I am not a looming or freakishly large person like yourself, but my experience is that even short, odd looking people indulging in this sort of behaviour, while muttering about 'love struck donkeys', 'Ohio Firesign Theatre freaks', 'the Wasteland and the Olde Ones' and 'the Peng Challenge', go pretty much unmolested by even the largest and most brutal looking security guard, let alone fussy, underpayed, overstressed retail employees.

They just back off and call for cleanup on that aisle. It's simply not worth the risk.

Oh, occasionally some toad who was judged 'too mentally disturbed' even to be an American Law Enforcement officer (quick thanks to Brian for all the pertinent info in that quarter), but was deemed sufficiently mentally ill to actually want to work as a security guard dealing with retail customers, will come up, covered in leather and fake badge, with taser, pepper-spray, flashlights and clubs, and ask you "just what the hell you think you are doing?"

Just thrust out a sticky finger covered with granulated soil extract and say loudly "Lick this! Does that taste like 'oranges' to you?"

They may ready some sort of weapon, but they'll back off quick while trying to figure out what to do next. You then loudly proclaim (to the people standing safely at either end of the aisle, watching intently) "Oh, C'mon! Let me guess? You're afraid to have another guys finger in your mouth in public, right?"

Even if he has a gun, he will probably back up even further. Do not advance upon him, as this might panic him. Instead, roll your eyes and mug shamelessly for the audience that's collected, and is by now far more amused at the expense of the 'Officer' than they are concerned about the crazy man on aisle 8, and say "Guns, stun-rods, and tear gas grenades, and he's afraid of a finger with Metamucil on it!"

Then turn and hold your finger out again, and exclaim "You do know you're supposed to take it orally, don't you? Is that why you're so afraid? Did your Mother make a mistake with the directions when you were little?"

At this point you are running about a 20% risk that he will shoot you, but usually at the mention of his Mother he will turn and run. The likelihood of running is greatly increased if he used to be an altar boy.

Ummmm....Übergnome...I think you are in need of a little singsong too...

It's Such a Good Feeling

© 1970, Fred M. Rogers

It's such a good feeling to know you're alive.

It's such a happy feeling: You're growing inside.

And when you wake up ready to say,

"I think I'll make a snappy new day."

It's such a good feeling, a very good feeling,

The feeling you know that we're friends.

Feeling better now Übergnome? A happy singsong is always better than Metimucil.

Persephone

[Lars]

Seanachai, I think there are a few Territories that are younger than you too. Maybe they'll call (hopefully really late just before you're about to fall asleep).

And now, before I go and partake in the annual psychosis that is known as "The Minnesota Fishing Opener", which begins here tomorrow in the land of the perpetually frozen,

Game Updates:

Those who have sent Turns:

Noba: Swears he is going to try and advance. Someday. We'll see.

MrSpkr: Tanks seem to be ineffective against his remaining King Tiger. I'm sending in the Infantry.

OGSF: Just starting. We're exchanging taunts on who made the gamiest purchases.

Those that do not have a firm grasp of the concept of E-mail:

Iskander: Large amounts of firing going on. To early to tell who's going to Die-A-Lot. Send a turn.

AussieJeff: Who gave the Germans airplanes? I mean, really, next they'll be giving the Canucks guns. Send a turn.

Simon: Just starting. He's already whining that he's outnumbered. Send a turn.

Sock Monkey: Send a turn.

Agua Perdido: Send a turn.

Hanns: Send a turn.

And finally, a poetry reading for Seanachai's B-day:

Love is a word that is constantly heard,

Hate is a word that is not.

Love, I am told, is more precious than gold.

Love, I have read, is hot.

But Hate is the verb that to me is superb,

And Love but a drug on the mart.

Any kiddie in school can love like a fool,

But Hating, my boy, is an Art.

-- Ogden Nash

Thus endeth the lesson.

Sod off.

[Lars]

Seanachai, I think there are a few Territories that are younger than you too. Maybe they'll call (hopefully really late just before you're about to fall asleep).

And now, before I go and partake in the annual psychosis that is known as "The Minnesota Fishing Opener", which begins here tomorrow in the land of the perpetually frozen,

Game Updates:

Those who have sent Turns:

Noba: Swears he is going to try and advance. Someday. We'll see.

MrSpkr: Tanks seem to be ineffective against his remaining King Tiger. I'm sending in the Infantry.

OGSF: Just starting. We're exchanging taunts on who made the gamiest purchases.

Those that do not have a firm grasp of the concept of E-mail:

Iskander: Large amounts of firing going on. To early to tell who's going to Die-A-Lot. Send a turn.

AussieJeff: Who gave the Germans airplanes? I mean, really, next they'll be giving the Canucks guns. Send a turn.

Simon: Just starting. He's already whining that he's outnumbered. Send a turn.

Sock Monkey: Send a turn.

Agua Perdido: Send a turn.

Hanns: Send a turn.

And finally, a poetry reading for Seanachai's B-day:

Love is a word that is constantly heard,

Hate is a word that is not.

Love, I am told, is more precious than gold.

Love, I have read, is hot.

But Hate is the verb that to me is superb,

And Love but a drug on the mart.

Any kiddie in school can love like a fool,

But Hating, my boy, is an Art.

-- Ogden Nash

Thus endeth the lesson.

Sod off.

[Joe Shaw]

Joe, I could be witty (yes, I can) and make a complete fool out of you,

Ummmm, no ... no I don't think so. Oh you'd TRY likely enough but it would be just that teensie-tiny bit shy wouldn't it now.

....but I think you really need a friend right now...so I'll be nice to you this time.

With friends like you ... etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

You'll be the ruin of this group yet, Patch see if I'm not right. And you were doing so well too, but you had to get all smooshy and girly about the wretches that wandered in and now we're stuck with them, no error there. The blame will be on your head when the lads that matter, the ones who made the MBT what is was and is wander off in disgust at the New Breed of CessPooler. But as a famous military leader once said ... It Was No Fault Of Mine!

Joe

[ May 10, 2002, 05:34 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Joe Shaw]

Joe, I could be witty (yes, I can) and make a complete fool out of you,

Ummmm, no ... no I don't think so. Oh you'd TRY likely enough but it would be just that teensie-tiny bit shy wouldn't it now.

....but I think you really need a friend right now...so I'll be nice to you this time.

With friends like you ... etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

You'll be the ruin of this group yet, Patch see if I'm not right. And you were doing so well too, but you had to get all smooshy and girly about the wretches that wandered in and now we're stuck with them, no error there. The blame will be on your head when the lads that matter, the ones who made the MBT what is was and is wander off in disgust at the New Breed of CessPooler. But as a famous military leader once said ... It Was No Fault Of Mine!

Joe

[ May 10, 2002, 05:34 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[sturner]

Originally posted by Croda:

Texas sucks.

Well gee! Anyone who lives in Colorado knows that! The reason it is so windy in Colorado is that Wyoming blows and Texas sucks.

[sturner]

Originally posted by Croda:

Texas sucks.

Well gee! Anyone who lives in Colorado knows that! The reason it is so windy in Colorado is that Wyoming blows and Texas sucks.

[Mace]

What's a Stirner?

Mace