God Save the Peng and this Honorable Challenge

[Noba]

An update and warning :

Dalem, he's winning, I'm not.

Boordom-Personified, too early to tell.

SimpleSimon, he's winning, I'm not.

Seanachai, fell off the world, whom knows what is going on.

AJ Pillock, too early.

Lurk-at-that, he's winning, I'm not.

Lars,he's winning, I'm not.

And the Blackmailer himself, OLD JOE too early.

If I missed you Mace, too baaaaad. You're losing.

I will be without PC on wednesday, possibly thursday. You may miss me or not. Cretins.

Noba.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Berli is always the one you see at the auto-da-fé selling toasting forks and sausages.

"Hey Torquemada, waddaya say?

'I say we have

an Auto-de-fe'.'

Auto-de-fe', what's an auto-de-fe'?

'It's what you oughtn't to do,

but you do anyway.'"

(with thanks to Mel Brooks)

[MrSpkr]

And now, in celebration of CMBB's release this afternoon, some gamey UPDATES!

dalem's puny pale men are being crushed by my fighting Uruk-Hai. Fool. He believed Monty's bit about XXX Corps being there "in just a couple of days."

Lars is dying-a-lot now. After losing seven tanks in two minutes, he is still twitching, but this one is over.

Leeo bought a pillbox, three minefields, and an assault boat for our Meeting Engagement in rough, hilly, tree-filled terrain. Typical.

Speedbump was happily advancing on my front when the Kampfgruppe O' Doom popped up behind him. Oops. I like night battles.

Old Joe Blow has yet to send a setup in this Andreas abortion we are playing. Bocage and 'splodies and crunchies, oh my!

donkeythang hasn't sent a turn in weeks. My guess is his mum is on holiday and no one else can show him how to work the email thingie.

Steve

[CMplayer]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

And now, in celebration of CMBB's release this afternoon, some gamey UPDATES!

You scuzzball, I actually went to the order page to look for it!

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

I remember a day, in spring, when I sat beneath a lemon tree to Torque-ma-doodad.

What's all this rot about his fine writing... He may write well, but I must take issue with his choice of topics...

[Joe Shaw]

GAWD SAVE THE RIGHT! Sorry Berli but the forms must be followed you know.

Joe Shaw, Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread, shall have the right of saying 'yea, or nay' to the taking of Squires, that fools not

introduce into the midst of the Folk those who neither honour it, nor support it, nor even understand it.

Quite so Seanachai, quite so. It is, after all, for the greater glory of the Mutha Beautiful Thread that I undertake this onerous duty with stern resolve and a deep appreciation for the task set before me. I, of course, gain nothing but further heartache, derision and unending emails from supplicants begging for a second chance. And I may grant them a second chance IF they show contrition, patience, humility and the odd $20 bill US.

But that should even one of the Olde Ones, nor several of the Seniour Knights question the Justicar's actions, nor, in fact, should even one member of the Peng Challenge Thread in good standing question it, should any such veto pass unremarked and automatic.

And this too is only right. For if an SSN or Serf is proposed as Squire, and I feel that the time is not yet right, I shall not simply say NAY ... I may say HELL NAY! Just kidding, a little Justicariate humor there. No I shall ask the Knight for his reasoning, for his plan of action for his lesson plan and philosphy of Squiredom. In the case of OGSF for example, it might be as simple as his own good self, to wit:

It's aboot thime I git anoother Squire. ... I'll be aboot beating 'im regular like ... To clean the mud offen me feet.

And in his case, since that's likely the best we'd get, I might agree. In other cases I'd ask the wisdom the CessPool and gain concurrence. After all, what would happen should CMPlayer take two of the pink pills instead of just one AGAIN?

A Knight needn't worry, however, the first Knight to propose an SSN or Serf for Squiredom shall have full rights to that Squire should the day come or until he comes to his senses and realizes what an utter and complete pillock he's recommended.

I mean, this seems to be rather a no brainer. If we give Shaw this sort of automatic veto power, how long is it going to be before we're trying to cope with a fire at the Reichstag?

Not to mention another Night of the Long Knives!

Joe

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by CMplayer:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by MrSpkr:

And now, in celebration of CMBB's release this afternoon, some gamey UPDATES!

You scuzzball, I actually went to the order page to look for it!</font>

[Panzer Leader]

Uh, Boo Radley? You rue badly.

[Papa Khann]

Originally posted by dalem:

--------------------------------------------------

I hear my next squire grunting & hissing around here.....

--------------------------------------------------

If memory serves, Squires are those cheeky little chaps in tights that carry around all the heavy stuff for their Knight masters.

One imagines Squires put up with this in the hope that one day they would get to wear some of the cooler articles of shiny stuff themselves. Plus, this globe we all scurry about on was a bit less civilised back then (or so I hear) and the poor chaps may have been hungry. A job is, after all, a job.

However, I feel it prudent to point out to you, dalem, that you should be careful what you wish for. One day it might just come true and THEN where would you be?

Allow me to offer you this clue... You don't want to see ME in tights. Oh no. No, no, no.

Papa

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Papa Khann:

Allow me to offer you this clue... You don't want to see ME in tights. Oh no. No, no, no.

Papa

You obviously don't know dalem. He's desperate -- he lives in Minnesota.

'Nuff said.

Steve

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Papa Khann:

Originally posted by dalem:

--------------------------------------------------

I hear my next squire grunting & hissing around here.....

--------------------------------------------------

If memory serves, Squires are those cheeky little chaps in tights that carry around all the heavy stuff for their Knight masters.

One imagines Squires put up with this in the hope that one day they would get to wear some of the cooler articles of shiny stuff themselves. Plus, this globe we all scurry about on was a bit less civilised back then (or so I hear) and the poor chaps may have been hungry. A job is, after all, a job.

However, I feel it prudent to point out to you, dalem, that you should be careful what you wish for. One day it might just come true and THEN where would you be?

Allow me to offer you this clue... You don't want to see ME in tights. Oh no. No, no, no.

Papa

LIttle worry of THAT happening lad, in the first place you're not only an SSN but a REALLY new SSN. Fourth, you a Technical Writer and we all know how unutterably dull they are ... witness your posts here. Hard line drive to left field, you're from ManyAppleLess and we're over our quota from that area {shudder} and first (I know I said first before but I was just kidding then) I see nothing in your posts to indicate even a speck of wit or humor or style that might lead a Knight to take you to Squire. Even your challenge was boring and, worst of all, addressed to an Olde One.

In short, I take great pride in being the first to offer you a hearty and heartfelt ... SOD OFFFFFF!

Joe

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Uh, Boo Radley? You rue badly.

My dear Pansy Breeder

Are all pseudo-horticulturalists masters of the obvious or is this just a personal gift?

[Papa Khann]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw

--------------------------------------------------

LIttle worry of THAT happening lad, in the first place you're not only an SSN but a REALLY new SSN. Fourth, you a Technical Writer and we all know how unutterably dull they are ... witness your posts here. Hard line drive to left field, you're from ManyAppleLess and we're over our quota from that area {shudder} and first (I know I said first before but I was just kidding then) I see nothing in your posts to indicate even a speck of wit or humor or style that might lead a Knight to take you to Squire. Even your challenge was boring and, worst of all, addressed to an Olde One.

In short, I take great pride in being the first to offer you a hearty and heartfelt ... SOD OFFFFFF!

Joe

--------------------------------------------------

Yes, I am from ManyAppleLess, as you put it, and I am a Technical Writer. Impressive bit of detective work there, pal, since I made reference to the former in my post and the latter is displayed in my profile.

And in addition to being boring and witless, Technical Writers can also COUNT.

You were not the first to offer the obligatory *SOD OFFFFFF*. That honor was snapped up by AussieJeff.

Further more, we can READ. A moderately useful skill which, should you choose to acquired it someday, would allow you to discern the difference between asking to be a Squire (which I did not), and commenting on the likely motivations of someone who was/is a Squire (which I did).

Now back to your picture books, laddie.

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

--------------------------------------------------

You obviously don't know dalem. He's desperate -- he lives in Minnesota.

'Nuff said.

Steve

--------------------------------------------------

Well so do I. Which qualifies me to say that even Minnesotans are not THAT desperate.

Papa

[Panzer Leader]

...horticulturalists...

Hmm, let's see here. Ahh, here we go:

One entry found for horticulture.

Main Entry: hor·ti·cul·ture

Pronunciation: 'hor-t&-"k&l-ch&r

Function: noun

Etymology: Latin hortus garden + English -i- + culture -- more at YARD

Date: 1678

: the science and art of growing fruits, vegetables, flowers, or ornamental plants

- hor·ti·cul·tur·al /"hor-t&-'k&l-ch&-r&l/ adjective

- hor·ti·cul·tur·al·ly /-r&-lE/ adverb

- hor·ti·cul·tur·ist /-rist/ noun

Are you trying to tell me I'm a bad gardener? Or that I only pretend to grow fruits and vegetables? Better get back to your attic.

[MrSpkr]

Well so do I. Which qualifies me to say that even Minnesotans are not THAT desperate.

Papa

Yes, I saw that. I figured you were stalking him.

Steve

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

LIttle worry of THAT happening lad, in the first place you're not only an SSN but a REALLY new SSN. Fourth, you a Technical Writer and we all know how unutterably dull they are ...

Whereas Mortgage bankers are regarded as the Oscar Wilde's of the banking community. How sad is that?

witness your posts here. Hard line drive to left field, you're from ManyAppleLess and we're over our quota from that area {shudder}

Well, Joltin' Joe does have a point here, but if he wears a hat, no one will notice.

and first (I know I said first before but I was just kidding then) I see nothing in your posts to indicate even a speck of wit or humor or style that might lead a Knight to take you to Squire. Even your challenge was boring and, worst of all, addressed to an Olde One.

You're sort of repeating yourself there Joe-Joe. Question: If one's memory is rapidly going the way of their hairline, can said person plagarize themself?

Talk amongst yourselves.

In short, I take great pride in being the first to offer you a hearty and heartfelt ... SOD OFFFFFF!

Joe

That's swell, Joe. Thanks for all your help. Bout time for your afternoon bowl of Zoloft, isn't it?

[Joe Shaw]

Further more, we can READ. A moderately useful skill which, should you choose to acquired it someday, would allow you to discern the difference between asking to be a Squire (which I did not), and commenting on the likely motivations of someone who was/is a Squire (which I did).

I should point out, Pooper Can, that EVERYONE wants to be a Squire of the CessPool and your assertion that you do not is simply more proof that you do.

However, let us assume for the moment that you realize that your chances of becoming a Squire are as remote as the chances of you conquering K2, blindfolded, solo and without supplimental oxygen. In that case we would be forced to ask ... why the hell are you here then? Your challenge of Seanchai is a lost cause (well ... so is HE actually but that's another story) so if you're just hanging about annoying the natives might I suggest that you SOD OFFFFF! yet again?

Oh ... as to AussieJeff and his prior request of you, as it came from an Australian it didn't have the same official value as one by me ... you should feel honored.

Joe

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

You can ask of Peng and Berli, Persephone and Joe Shaw, Dalem, Lars, and Shandorf whether I've attempted to be a good host when they've come to my hovel.

The ÜberGnome is a very good host...he welcomed us into his little garden...gave us red pointy gnome hats to wear so we wouldn't feel left-out. He made some gnome stew and had plenty of gnome ale to drink...and he even sang gnome songs.

Persephone

[ June 24, 2002, 01:13 PM: Message edited by: Persephone ]

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />...horticulturalists...

Hmm, let's see here. Ahh, here we go:

One entry found for horticulture.

Main Entry: hor·ti·cul·ture

Pronunciation: 'hor-t&-"k&l-ch&r

Function: noun

Etymology: Latin hortus garden + English -i- + culture -- more at YARD

Date: 1678

: the science and art of growing fruits, vegetables, flowers, or ornamental plants

- hor·ti·cul·tur·al /"hor-t&-'k&l-ch&-r&l/ adjective

- hor·ti·cul·tur·al·ly /-r&-lE/ adverb

- hor·ti·cul·tur·ist /-rist/ noun

Are you trying to tell me I'm a bad gardener? Or that I only pretend to grow fruits and vegetables? Better get back to your attic.</font>

[dalem]

Originally posted by Papa Khann:

Now back to your picture books, laddie.

Papa

Don't mind Joe. He's old.

[Farslayer]

Originally posted by Papa Khann:

... those cheeky little chaps in tights ...

So we have Papa Khann, non-SSN...

Papa of "those cheeky little chaps in tights", ergo, Papa Smurf.

Khann... hmm... sounds alot like a Chakka Khan wanna-be...

Originally posted by Papa Khann:

... You don't want to see ME in tights. Oh no. No, no, no.

Papa

You are corrrect. I do NOT want to see you in tights singing "Ain't Nobody"

[Papa Khann]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

--------------------------------------------------

... mass snippage of drivel amounting largely to white noise....

In that case we would be forced to ask ... why the hell are you here then?

--------------------------------------------------

Ah yes, the eternal questions. They have both vexed and enticed mankind since the dawn of time (or so I hear).

Where did I come from from? Why am I here? Where am I going?

Alas I can offer no suitable answer to these questions for myself. However, I shall endeavor, based upon my admittedly limited experience with you, Joe, to venture a few guesses which may enlighten you regarding these perplexing quandries which, had you the inclination (or the ability) to ponder yourself would surely cause you grief.

Where did you come from?... Obviously not the product of a normal union within a nuturing household. It pains me to dwell upon it. I shall tarry on that thought no longer and shall not speak the words "zoo" or "laboratory" aloud. Oops. Now I've gone and done it. Sorry, Joe.

Why are you here?... Where else would you go where they'd let you stay?

Where are you going?... See previous question.

Originally posted by dalem:

--------------------------------------------------

Don't mind Joe. He's old.

--------------------------------------------------

It may be prudent at this junction to ask how old you think "old" is.

I may be on very thin ice here myself.

Originally posted by Farslayer:

--------------------------------------------------

So we have Papa Khann, non-SSN...

Papa of "those cheeky little chaps in tights", ergo, Papa Smurf.

Khann... hmm... sounds alot like a Chakka Khan wanna-be...

--------------------------------------------------

There's a story there, and unfortunately you are close to discovering the truth of it.

Now for all of your sakes, and for the love of the Maker, let's NOT GO THERE.

Papa

[Papa Khann]

Forgive my ignorance, but what in blazes is non-SSN? Or are you all just speaking in tongues?

Papa

[Joe Shaw]

Allow me to offer you this clue... You don't want to see ME in tights. Oh no. No, no, no.

Perhaps we can simplify this boring procedure with the simple expedient of quoting a portion of your own words ...

You don't want to see ME ...

See there? Had you stopped at that point you'd have had the right of it and none of the tiresome remainder would have been necessary.

However, your reference to your age does, I admit, have me intrigued. There are far too few of us who are, ahem, mature enough to guide the course of the CessPool and while you ARE a Scum Sucking Newbie it is just possible that you are a MATURE Scum Sucking Newbie and that may, MAY I say, make all the difference. So enlighten us, are you "of an age" as they say or are you yet another bothersome young whippersnapper {not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Joe

p.s Pay no attention to ParSaver, he's an SSN as well and, therefore, has no clue.

[ June 24, 2002, 02:26 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[dalem]

Originally posted by Papa Khann:

Originally posted by dalem:

--------------------------------------------------

Don't mind Joe. He's old.

--------------------------------------------------

It may be prudent at this junction to ask how old you think "old" is.

I may be on very thin ice here myself.

A rough estimate would be somewhere on the order of really, really old. Kinda like the old version of Dave at the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey - you know, the part where everything's stark white and quiet and if you're the only guy who isn't stoned you're wondering why everyone else thinks the ending makes any kind of sense at all?