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There's Only One Thing That I Hate More Than Australia, That's the Commonwealth Mafia


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Michael Emrys spouted:

We have everything. Our motto is, "We devour the world." Globalism in action, son.

You lie, Sir!

No Twisties! No Tim Tams!

Barbarians! :mad:

dalem expouted:

We have 5 different brands of caramel-coated popcorn.

We will BURY YOU!

Yes you will.

Because If it's not salted or chocolate covered, we won't eat it, and such snack pretenders like caramalised popcorn will just lie there, uneaten!!! :mad: :mad:

Hey there's a thought, chocolate covered chips.

Mace

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Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Michael Emrys:

And that we have the best snack food industry in the world.

Can't have. You don't have twisties nor Tim tams. :mad:

Mace </font>

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Originally posted by Stuka:

and the world's best lyposuction industry....

Jeez, there's a name I haven't seen for years on this board. Have you been hiding in the Peng thread or sumfink?

BTW Seanachai, I'm happy to take you up on your offer but you'll have to send the setup. I'm a laid back Aussie remember. We never initiate anything, just tidy up other peoples messes.

Regards

Jim R.

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Originally posted by Sergei:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Kanonier Reichmann:

I'm a laid back Aussie remember. We never initiate anything, just tidy up other peoples messes.

I thought Australia WAS other people's (Pommies') mess. What are you going to do about that, huh? Huh?</font>
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Ah, what can one say about a nation where:

Aussie women woodchoppers cut competition down to size

Australian women have confirmed that they are the world's best woodchoppers.

The national women's woodchop team has had a decisive, half-a-block win against New Zealand and the United States at Sydney's Royal Easter Show.

The international event comes just two months after the inaugural Test in New Zealand, where Australia beat the Kiwis in front of an intimidating crowd.

But Aussie captain Cathy Munday says this time, the crowd was on her side.

"Thank goodness it stopped raining long enough to pack the grandstand," she said.

"She was quite a chorus of Advance Australia Fair and we all stood up and it was an amazing feeling.

"We had the backing of the crowd this time and they were certainly roaring, the screams and noises were amazing."

:D

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Let's face it the Gnome is just having some ancestor regrets.

Why o why o why couldn't've his great great grand dad have been a petty thief instead of a petty farmer?

His life could have been so much, well, not better, but more fitting. In a culture where to be a drunken bludger is not just tolerated but celebrated, where Ricky Williams can find sanctuary, where shorts are acceptable attire?

But nooo, poor sod ended up in Minnesota. With people like Dalem. Whereas if anyone should have been an ocker, it's Seanachai

(In interest of full dislosure. My ancestor regret is that the lazy sods didn't get off their arses and found a world leading brewery. We could be drinking Reed's, not Guiness or Fuller's or Bass, and I wouldn't have to work. Wankers)

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Standard isolated islanders/ hicks joke. Uses "Orkney Islands" in this version, substitute local equivalent as you see fit.

The night of his wedding to a fellow islander in the Orkneys, the son come crying home to mother, bewailing that the marriage is over even before it started. He doesn't want to say why, it is so shocking, but finally she gets him to spill the beans.

"Mother, mother, SHE WAS A VIRGIN!"

"WHAT! Well, if she wasn't good enough for her family, she isn't good enough for ours!"

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Originally posted by Richie:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by rleete:

Jeez, a post in jest, and one of the wankers has to show up and prove him right.

Hey, speaking from an Australian point of view, sometimes I just don't find it funny.

I get drunk and tired, I find another thread bagging Australians and yes, I posted like a wanker.</font>

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