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Okay, this is just about the limit. There is no doubt in my mind at where this originated.

I get home last night and guess what is in my mail?

A feckin invitation to join AARP!!!

This smacks so much of conspiracy that I burned my swift rowboat in protest. I KNOW it was one of you lot that tuned my name in, as clearly from the date of my birth (which I so proudly display in my profile) that I am WAY too young to be in AARP!!!

So now the job becomes one of tracking down the lying liars whose lies have built a network of lies that surmounts any lying effort I have seen (since my last visit to the PGF).

There WILL be an investigation! There will be heads rolling. There will be vengeance and retribution meted out in such a way as to put any further attempts to stain my honor at such risk that the effort will not be worthwhile.

Fortunately, the list can be narrowed down a great deal.

1) Not everybody even knows what AARP is.

2) Very few of you lot that know what it is could spell it properly.

To he/she who is responsible for this travesty.

BE AFRAID!! BE VERY AFRAID!!!!!

PS-I will say that the picture of Joe Shaw on the cover in his plus 4's was rather startling to behold. I did not realize Joe was on the Board of Directors.

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Your age isn't in your profile, you huge chimp.

Your profile states that you're a Member, (which means, I guess, that you're a "tool").

It gives your absurdly high member number, the date of your registration, your absurdly high post count, your E-mail address at the asylum, and the swamp where you're located. It also mentions your love of bean counting and your interests, or lack thereof.

No age though.

And what is this AARP of which you speak? Some kind of group that specializes in seal impressions?

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Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

Okay, this is just about the limit. There is no doubt in my mind at where this originated.

I get home last night and guess what is in my mail?

A feckin invitation to join AARP!!!

This smacks so much of conspiracy that I burned my swift rowboat in protest. I KNOW it was one of you lot that tuned my name in, as clearly from the date of my birth (which I so proudly display in my profile) that I am WAY too young to be in AARP!!!

So now the job becomes one of tracking down the lying liars whose lies have built a network of lies that surmounts any lying effort I have seen (since my last visit to the PGF).

There WILL be an investigation! There will be heads rolling. There will be vengeance and retribution meted out in such a way as to put any further attempts to stain my honor at such risk that the effort will not be worthwhile.

Fortunately, the list can be narrowed down a great deal.

1) Not everybody even knows what AARP is.

2) Very few of you lot that know what it is could spell it properly.

To he/she who is responsible for this travesty.

BE AFRAID!! BE VERY AFRAID!!!!!

PS-I will say that the picture of Joe Shaw on the cover in his plus 4's was rather startling to behold. I did not realize Joe was on the Board of Directors.

Are you quite sure it wasn't an invitation to join the UURP? In YOUR case that would make a lot more sense. It's not an acronymn, it's what they do.

Finally if I were you ... well actually if I WERE you I'd find a hurricane to stand in front of ... shouldn't be too difficult, but if I were you and THAT option wasn't available I'd check the font and type spacing. You just can't trust documents anymore.

Joe

p.s. Do I owe you a turn?

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Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Joe

p.s. Do I owe you a turn?

Well, it has been some time since you sent your last turn. I probably need to bring you up to date on a few things that have happened since:

1) Infantry no longer line up in long lines and exchanges vollies with their flintlocks.

2) Cavalry charges with sabers and lances are no longer in style.

There are new contrivances such as tanks, armoured cars, and machine guns.

Perhaps we should start a new game and you can experience these new developments?

We can keep it Shaw like (ie; simple) and not include air power, as I am sure this concept will take you a great deal of time to understand.

If you need time to "study up" on these new techniques, I will understand. Of course it will entail reding books, so I will also understand your reluctance to burn up too many brain cells making the effort.

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Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley:

Your age isn't in your profile, you huge chimp.

What was I thinking?

That you could possibly see a birthdate and figure out someone's age?

I can hear you now "Damn it, Jim, I'm an idjit, not a mathematician" </font>

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Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

Okay, this is just about the limit. There is no doubt in my mind at where this originated.

I get home last night and guess what is in my mail?

A feckin invitation to join AARP!!!

Ooh, he's not going to like the NAMBL invite at all...
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Well, well. I guess the circus is in town and the "Clown Wagon" has broken down.

I point out the unseemly behavior of a certain individual in slandering my good name and reputation built on all things good and decent, and what do I get?

A veritable deluge of innuendo and insensitive remarks about my age.

But...HAH!

I laugh at your meager insults.

I smirk at your lame attempts to besmirch my honor

I cackle at your abilities to do math

I chortle at the lack of caring that is displayed when one of your fellow members is attacked in such an unseemly manner.

I laugh out loud at the disrespect shown for one who has always lived by the highest ideals and maintained the cleanest virtues.

So there you have it. Make sport of the victim. Kick the downtrodden. Hang the innocent. Spank your monkey... okay, forget that one.

Anyway, I will expect no more sympathy from you lot.

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AARP begins recruiting fodder around the age of 50. So Boggs old boy, and you are an old boy, you are on their list.

They will inundate you mailings from this day forward, until you relent and send them the fee they require for membership. They will send you scare mail about Social Security, drug costs, pension and retirement plans, the best brands of adult diapers, and on and on.

At some point in your pathetic existence, probably around the age of 60, and after ten years of bombardment, you will throw your hands up and say "I might as well join, they keep sending me this crap, and some of it is now looking interesting." From that point on you are assimilated, and you can take your rightful place at the free buffet line, and collect your discount theater tickets.

One benefit you already have, is that you currently live in Heaven's Waiting Room, so they can't urge you to move to Florida....lucky you.

Be afraid Jimbo , be very afraid!!!

[ September 10, 2004, 02:44 PM: Message edited by: Nidan1 ]

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Originally posted by Leeo:

More the quiet type as in, "who is he, and why doesn't he ever shower?

As a matter of fact, I'm going camping this weekend, and so will forego the showering. What's one more week, anyway? All the while I'll be guzzling my brothers "special camping edition" homebrewed beer. Hey, it's free, and not bad stuff, provided you like hops a lot. It's usually strong enough that none of us care.

No 'leck-triss-a-tee out in the woods, so no turns for anyone. Especially you, Leeo, as you've forgotten to sent the damn setup! Your challenge was as lame as they get, including the wafflers, but I already agreed, so send it on, and I'll ignore it when I return from scaring the hell out of the wildlife.

Herr Oberst, anyone who would desecrate an automotive sculpture like that should be shot on sight. Of course, the part about chasing Boo with vehicle mounted pointy bits has merit, so I guess you break even.

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Speaking of birthdates and profiles, mine has been visible since I regestered, and not one of you sorry bastards wished me a happy birthday.

What did I get? A flooded basement (including the bar).

You may all wallow in guilt and shame, like your parents do when forced into admitting you.

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The flooding tipped over a keg of my homebrew (also made for camping), and the fall knocked the lid open. 5 gallons of beer (a porter, no less), wasted. That should bring a tear to your eye.

On the other hand, I get to go buy Guinness, instead. Every cloud has a silver lining.

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Originally posted by rleete:

No 'leck-triss-a-tee out in the woods, so no turns for anyone.

You return turns? When the hell did this start?

Oh, and happy birthday you large scrofulous polyp. Are you planning on being out there long enough for the wife to change the locks and get the restraining order in effect?

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