Peng Challenge Thread III- Revenge of the Nerds

[Seanachai]

The trip to Canada to scatter my sister's ashes was a great success (given that they were successfully smuggled over the border, I can make public the fact that our Lake Cabin is in Canada).

Well, except for the fact that we didn't actually scatter her ashes. On the morning of the Memorial, me Mum started freaking out a bit about the whole 'scattering her ashes over the lake' as we drove around our island in boats, so we decided to forego the actual 'scattering'.

Of course, there was a lot of agonizing by me Mum over whether we were right in not scattering them, so I, the ever helpful son, pointed out: "Look, Mom, the whole island draws it's water supply from the lake. If we scatter Kat's ashes in the lake around the island, we're all going to be showering with her later, and we're just not that Southern..."

It was difficult to tell, through the weeping, if she found this helpful or not.

So we kept the ashes in the urn, and now she's keeping an eye on the cabin for us when we're not there.

We did all get in the boats, each of us with a white rose that our Aunt Diane brought up, and we drove in stately procession around the island. When we were opposite our cabin, in between our Island and Clyde's Island (named after our Dad; screw whatever the Canadians think the name of the island is...), we all threw our roses into the water, and the little kids all threw handfuls of white rose petals into the lake as we drove away.

And as the huge flock of gulls, attracted by the activity, began to stoop upon the floating flowers and petals, scooping them up, and then spitting them out when they discovered they weren't scraps of food, my youngest sister leaned over to me and said: 'Jesus Christ, it's just as well we didn't scatter the ashes, or Mom would be treated to the sight of gulls diving after the remains, and that would probably send her right over the freaking edge!'

So the little kids are all solemn and crying, and us adults are all laughing our arses off, pointing at the gulls, and trying to catch our breath. We were able to hide the greater part of our levity from our Step-father, although why we bothered, I simply don't know, as it would have bugged the ****e out of his straight-laced German Lutheran soul and amused us even more. Which would have been only fair, because the bugger made us listen to a CD full of hymns in the car on the way up (thank the gods and His Evil Darkness for that iPod Berli sent me...)

We're a rather irreverent family, actually.

It was a glorious weekend. Everyone drank much wine, including several bottles of Moet Chandon White Star that my Aunt brought up to toast Kat's memory (she loved Moet Chandon). We drank it at a shoreline lunch with fresh walleye, hamburgers and hot dogs, 5 bean dish, and coleslaw. French champagne's finest moment. Afterwards, everyone got hammered on Labatt's Blue Label and Guinness.

We caught a lot of walleye. I went kayaking for 4 hours on Saturday, and am now attempting to re-grow the skin on my face and forearms. We had a bonfire Saturday night, and we all sang songs around it. At the request of my many, many nieces, nephews and second cousins, I sang that fine old Spiritual 'The Hymn to Great Fred', as well as my version of 'The Hedgehog Can Never Be Buggered At All', and the fine Australian song 'He's Nobody's Moggie Now'.

The men of the family all smoked Cuban cigars. The women drank fine Chardonnay. A puppet show was performed with children's socks that shouldn't have been worn out of the cabin without shoes on.

Some people cried. Everyone laughed. No one threw up.

It was a marvelous weekend.

All in all, it was a very successful second funeral. We're thinking of repeating it every year; each year, pretending again that we're going to 'scatter the ashes', and each year deciding 'no, not yet, we're not ready just yet. Maybe next year.'

Each year, my sister, wherever she is, can smile a long, slow smile as we all get together to acknowledge her death, and end up celebrating our lives. Each year she can listen to the same damn stories about when we were young, when she was young, when we got older, and, eventually, she can listen to the stories that will grow out of her endless, oft delayed, and eternal funeral.

And one by one we, too, will pass on, pass over, and leave nothing more than a memory. We will die, all those of us who knew her, loved her, and sat with her while she died.

But the possibilities! Ah, the fish-fries of the future! The five bean dishes yet to come, the wine yet to be drunk, the cigars yet to be smoked, the stories yet to be told!

If I could have my wish, it would be that after I am gone, there will be this gang of aging, somewhat sobered by time gang of people who are now teens and children, still fishing, still singing, still laughing...

And telling a whole new gang of children: You should have been there, in the day, at the Eternal Funeral which was the Greatest Celebration ever, when Uncle Steve sang the 'Hymn to Great Fred', and 'the Hedgehog Song'...

Oh, and Dalem, you ignorant toad. Thanks for lending me the MST3K tape of 'Girl's Town'. We watched it Sunday night, and my youngest sister laughed so hard she got a stomach ache. We had to keep pausing and rewinding to explain some of the jokes to the younger kids, and some of them weren't jokes appropriate to younger kids, but they loved them.

Man, think about it! Maybe someday kids will be saying 'Oh, look, Uncle Seanachai's back from fighting Nazis on the moon!'

[Stuka]

*sniff*, thats beautiful, man.

death sucks....

[Mace]

Originally posted by Stuka:

Thingey references!

Mace, take it away!...

I'm not taking anyone's thingy away!

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious...

What the hell has been going on around here?!

If I want to see gibberish like this, I'll go to a freaking Trekkie convention!

Christ on a crutch falling over with spread fingers saying 'live long and prosper', could we take this freaking Thread on to a higher plane of existence?

My guess would be... no?

[Joe Shaw]

Well done Seanachai ... both the actual "event" and your description of it. Sounds like exactly what your lovely sister would have wanted.

Joe

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

... and Boo Radley with ... with ... uh ... hmmmm.

Irrepressible noggin?

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

I went kayaking for 4 hours on Saturday...

In other words, he passed out in the canoe and his assorted kin folk spent the afternoon taking turns trying to tow him into the path of oncoming speedboats.

It's what I would have done.

(p.s. Good on ya, Steve and good on yer whole family!)

[Egbert]

Any of you in a floating vessel.

How come I think of:

"There's boat on a reef with a broken back..."

Prob'ly started when you noticed the cork in the bottom and "figgered" it was time for a beverage.

The whole episode sounds like it turned out perfectly. Good on ya, and your whole family.

[Moraine Sedai]

Thank you for sharing that, Steve. How things turned out seemed so very appropriate.

[MrSpkr]

Job search bleak.

Spousal unit distant.

Home foreclosure imminent.

Sigh. You bloody lot of miserable bastards. How I hate you all.

The hate, it seems, is about all I have left.

Steve

[dalem]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Job search bleak.

Spousal unit distant.

Home foreclosure imminent.

Sigh. You bloody lot of miserable bastards. How I hate you all.

The hate, it seems, is about all I have left.

Steve

You can have whatever I have left after this sudden bout of flu or food poisoning releases its deathgrip on my churning insides.

---- TMI FOLLOWS --------

You want to know when you've really "chundered", as our barbarian cousins call it?

When the wracking spasms pass and you're kneeling there, waiting for the Death that has so teasingly brushed by you, and you notice that, "Oh my, I seem to have cracked the seat in my clutch that time."

----- TMI ENDS ------

Ye godlings, but I hate Seanachai.

[Noba]

Originally posted by dalem:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Job search bleak.

Spousal unit distant.

Home foreclosure imminent.

Sigh. You bloody lot of miserable bastards. How I hate you all.

The hate, it seems, is about all I have left.

Steve

You can have whatever I have left after this sudden bout of flu or food poisoning releases its deathgrip on my churning insides.

---- TMI FOLLOWS --------

You want to know when you've really "chundered", as our barbarian cousins call it?

When the wracking spasms pass and you're kneeling there, waiting for the Death that has so teasingly brushed by you, and you notice that, "Oh my, I seem to have cracked the seat in my clutch that time."

----- TMI ENDS ------

Ye godlings, but I hate Seanachai. </font>

[Speedy]

Originally posted by dalem:

You can have whatever I have left after this sudden bout of flu or food poisoning releases its deathgrip on my churning insides.

---- TMI FOLLOWS --------

You want to know when you've really "chundered", as our barbarian cousins call it?

When the wracking spasms pass and you're kneeling there, waiting for the Death that has so teasingly brushed by you, and you notice that, "Oh my, I seem to have cracked the seat in my clutch that time."

----- TMI ENDS ------

Ye godlings, but I hate Seanachai.

Makes me think of Sundays.

[Noba]

Originally posted by Speedy:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:

You can have whatever I have left after this sudden bout of flu or food poisoning releases its deathgrip on my churning insides.

---- TMI FOLLOWS --------

You want to know when you've really "chundered", as our barbarian cousins call it?

When the wracking spasms pass and you're kneeling there, waiting for the Death that has so teasingly brushed by you, and you notice that, "Oh my, I seem to have cracked the seat in my clutch that time."

----- TMI ENDS ------

Ye godlings, but I hate Seanachai.

Makes me think of Sundays. </font>

[Noba]

I'm off to Broome for a long weekend...

Those that know about that delightfull place can be envious. Those that don't, can die wondering.

Losers.

Noba.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Job search bleak.

Spousal unit distant.

Home foreclosure imminent.

Sigh. You bloody lot of miserable bastards. How I hate you all.

The hate, it seems, is about all I have left.

Steve

But with that, my friend, you have a veritable horn of plenty!

[sERIOUS] Sorry it's gotten to that stage buddy. I got close but not that close when I was out of a job three years ago. Don't know what to say except that we're all pulling for you. [/sERIOUS]

Joe

[Stuka]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

we're all pulling for you.

Ewww....speak for yourself Joe.

I'll throw this one over to the audience...anyone?, anyone?...Bueller?

[Michael Emrys]

I give him a thumbs down.

Michael

[Boo Radley]

Well, just don't taze him or you'll be opening up a big old can of worms!

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Michael Emrys:

I give him a thumbs down.

Michael

Michael I've been meaning to bring this up but ... well, the fact is lad that you don't have a vote!

I know, I know, I bold your name and all but it's only because you're one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypso (Gingivitis IIRC) and I've received NO notification from the Olde Ones that we're to give you lot more than the back of our hand.

So the point is that you don't have a vote in the matter and a damned good thing it is too. Sure MrSpkr is a Faux Texan, sure he's a Lawyer, sure he's an Okie who's trying to pass, sure he's a certified Right Wing Nut Job and PROBABLY another Right Wing Gun Nut Nut Job like dalem but ... uh ... hmmmm ... tell you what lad we'll just have you cast a provisional ballot just in case. Here, take two in case we lose one or something. Would you like to take some for the other Horsemen?

Joe

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Michael Emrys:

I give him a thumbs down.

Michael

Michael I've been meaning to bring this up but ... well, the fact is lad that you don't have a vote!

I know, I know, I bold your name and all but it's only because you're one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypso (Gingivitis IIRC) and I've received NO notification from the Olde Ones that we're to give you lot more than the back of our hand.

So the point is that you don't have a vote in the matter and a damned good thing it is too. Sure MrSpkr is a Faux Texan, sure he's a Lawyer, sure he's an Okie who's trying to pass, sure he's a certified Right Wing Nut Job and PROBABLY another Right Wing Gun Nut Nut Job like dalem but ... uh ... hmmmm ... tell you what lad we'll just have you cast a provisional ballot just in case. Here, take two in case we lose one or something. Would you like to take some for the other Horsemen?

Joe </font>

[stikkypixie]

It's windy outside, but at least it doesn't smell like in here.

[Michael Emrys]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Michael Emrys:

I give him a thumbs down.

Michael

Michael I've been meaning to bring this up but ... well, the fact is lad that you don't have a vote!

I know, I know, I bold your name and all but it's only because you're one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypso (Gingivitis IIRC) and I've received NO notification from the Olde Ones that we're to give you lot more than the back of our hand.

So the point is that you don't have a vote in the matter and a damned good thing it is too. Sure MrSpkr is a Faux Texan, sure he's a Lawyer, sure he's an Okie who's trying to pass, sure he's a certified Right Wing Nut Job and PROBABLY another Right Wing Gun Nut Nut Job like dalem but ... uh ... hmmmm ... tell you what lad we'll just have you cast a provisional ballot just in case. Here, take two in case we lose one or something. Would you like to take some for the other Horsemen?

Joe </font>

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Michael Emrys:

Boo, I want you to take a good, long look in the mirror. See that hideous, monstrous face? That's you, baby. Think about it.

Michael

On the contrary, Michael, I didn't think I looked THAT good.

Michael, Michael, Michael... unlike Joe, I do not pander. I don't know why he does, unless it's because of some early childhood trauma. Perhaps it's some defense mechanism that's become firmly established within him to combat those memories of his school days when the larger, more athletic children used to tease him for being much more graceful than they.

I like to think that what I do is bestow my goodwill on the unwashed masses, such as yourself. My innate affability is like a shining light, illuminating the darkness which is your lives, so that, perhaps, every now and then, even the stygian-like depths from where your tortured souls wail and gnash their teeth, there can come a small, false hope, whispering, "But... if Boo is speaking to me... maybe I DO have worth!"

Sure, it's a lie, but it's the least I can do and let it never be said that I didn't do the least I can do.

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Michael Emrys:

Boo, I want you to take a good, long look in the mirror. See that hideous, monstrous face? That's you, baby. Think about it.

Michael

On the contrary, Michael, I didn't think I looked THAT good.

Michael, Michael, Michael... unlike Joe, I do not pander. I don't know why he does, unless it's because of some early childhood trauma. Perhaps it's some defense mechanism that's become firmly established within him to combat those memories of his school days when the larger, more athletic children used to tease him for being much more graceful than they.

I like to think that what I do is bestow my goodwill on the unwashed masses, such as yourself. My innate affability is like a shining light, illuminating the darkness which is your lives, so that, perhaps, every now and then, even the stygian-like depths from where your tortured souls wail and gnash their teeth, there can come a small, false hope, whispering, "But... if Boo is speaking to me... maybe I DO have worth!"

Sure, it's a lie, but it's the least I can do and let it never be said that I didn't do the least I can do. </font>