BFCElvis Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Wankers. (edited to save space) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 I demand more...more...well, pretty much more anything. Words, maybe. I don't feel comfortable in such laconic surroundings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Dorosh Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: I demand more...more...well, pretty much more anything. Words, maybe. I don't feel comfortable in such laconic surroundings. You wouldn't know laconic if it bit you on the arse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 And you would - but only if it did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: I demand more...more...well, pretty much more anything. Words, maybe. I don't feel comfortable in such laconic surroundings. Why aren't you on AIM you tart? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by dalem: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai: I demand more...more...well, pretty much more anything. Words, maybe. I don't feel comfortable in such laconic surroundings. Why aren't you on AIM you tart? </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by Michael Dorosh: You wouldn't know laconic if it bit you on the arse. Still bitter about my rush to marry off your deeply, deeply hideously annoying Canadian arse to the first two women with standards low enough to date you? I forgive you. I've filled out all the forms, and as I am working this week, I'm happy to pay the $50 (Canadian) fee to assume all the rights and duties of the position as Pastor in the Church of the Assumptive Grog (Christ Almighty, Google is simply awesome). Do you have the ring, my son? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Here we go again. No rules posted and on page one, PAGE ONE! we have Canadians and Kiwis frolicing around in the altogether and this is just not right! I'd ask the esteemed Elvis to go back and amend his initial post with fearsome rules. Rules that would cause any being with the I.Q. of a stick* to pause, realize they they weren't worthy of the Peng Challenge Thread, and leave with their vestigal tails between their legs. But, it's Elvis after all. You'd have better luck getting coherent sentence structures out of a colony of Cherrystone clams. I would ask that the Justicar step forward and actually DO something, but as usual, just when you think you may need him, he's scarpered off somewhere, probably with a suitcase full of purloined bathtowels. (* Yeah, I know. We'd STILL be getting the Canadians and Kiwis.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbott Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Here we go again. No rules posted and on page one, PAGE ONE! But it is a fairly good thread title; compared to Peng goes to the park in Paris for a romp. Hmm, could that be where he found the Kiwi’s and Australians that wander in here? Edit: to add how goes the two women per Sunday Mike? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted June 23, 2005 Author Share Posted June 23, 2005 Dear Boo, I just wrote the following passage this morning. I was not feeling nearly as loquacious last night as I do now. Long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away... A few drunken stumblebums got together and created the MBT. Here are the rules, you horrible little Sith! We don't like you or your little Yoda, too. We don't care about your opinions, even if you have any. We will never, ever like you, but kiss up all you want. Go away. Go far away. Let not the night find you where the day left you. Seek ye far horizons where we aren’t. And then keep going. Still here? Damn. Very well, if you must post, try to show some wit and vinegar. Challenge someone. Operative word is ONE. Single one person out and construct a creative taunt to entice them to the field of battle. Anything less will be met with scorn, derision and more scorn. Don’t bother the Olde Ones or the Knights or even the squires, for that matter. Challenge either an SSN like yourself, or a serf. Sound off like ya got a pair. NOT about your pair, because we really couldn’t care less. The Ladies of the Pool are sacrosanct. Don't go there or you'll discover Coventry fast. Coventry you ask? It's our special way of dealing with those we really don't like. Leave your personal hang-ups and prejudices at the door. We have no use for your mind numbing ignorance here. If you do not have an E-mail address or a general location in your profile, you ain’t tall enough to ride this ride. Now, if you understand and agree to all that’s been said here... SOD OFF! Love, Elvis P.S. The above rules have been copywrited by myself and are the sole property of me. Any use or reprinting of above copywritten material without my written consent will be dealt with in the most harshest of terms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Dear Elvis, Dear, dear, sweet, unbelievably dense and abnormally thickheaded Elvis. Your attempt to plagiarize my words and keep them for yourself is just the kind of underhanded, lame, faulty, comically pathetic show of misguided envy I'd expect from a denizen of the backwoods of Pennsyltoonia. If your fawning, sycophantic emulation of me weren't so blatantly obvious, I would stretch out my hand over your melon shaped head and bless you. But if I do... other will talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted June 23, 2005 Author Share Posted June 23, 2005 Dear Boo, I have no idea what you are talking about. And I don't live in Pennsyltuckey...That's where Peng lives. I live in a thriving, pulsating, corrupt and mismanaged metropolitan hotbed of deceit and decadence. Probably not unlike Akron (home of Devo). Love, Elvis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by Elvis: Dear Boo, I have no idea what you are talking about. And I don't live in Pennsyltuckey...That's where Peng lives. I live in a thriving, pulsating, corrupt and mismanaged metropolitan hotbed of deceit and decadence. Probably not unlike Akron (home of Devo). Love, Elvis Quite right Elvis though the bit about not knowing what Boo Radley is talking about is universal ... and that INCLUDES Boo. DAMNED fine rules, lad, damned fine. That's the sort of rules that a buffoon like Boo Radley could NEVER create. Joe Oh ... I'm back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted June 23, 2005 Author Share Posted June 23, 2005 Dear Joe, Wanker. Love, Elvis [ June 26, 2005, 10:05 AM: Message edited by: Elvis ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by Elvis: Dear Boo, I have no idea what you are talking about. And I don't live in Pennsyltuckey...That's where Peng lives. I live in a thriving, pulsating, corrupt and mismanaged metropolitan hotbed of deceit and decadence. Probably not unlike Akron (home of Devo). Love, Elvis Dear Elvis, I said PennsylTOONIA, not Pennsyltucky. Wake up and smell the landfill*. Ahh, the Mothersbaugh boys. My boss graduated high school with Mark. We met up with them one day when we were going to lunch right before Devo took off. Interesting people. Regards, Boo * It will mostly mask the aroma of the Justicar if you keep him downwind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malakovski Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 I suppose these bizarre loveletters beat the malted blasphemy of the last thread. Barely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 No bad habits for the dog yet. She's disgustingly well-behaved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 Originally posted by dalem: No bad habits for the dog yet. She's disgustingly well-behaved. If that dog doesn't end up pooping on her master's pillow I'll lose all respect for you ... oh wait ... never mind, I didn't have any respect for you to start with. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by dalem: No bad habits for the dog yet. She's disgustingly well-behaved. Have you learned anything yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 When I woke up this morning, I had stern things to say to you all. But then, what with one thing and another, and the smell of new mown grass floating in through the windows, and the catchy beat of Harry Belafonte on the stereo, and several delightful conversations either online or by phone with friends, I came to realize that everything is really...all right. You're not a bad lot of gibbering halfwits. Well, you are, but it's just your way. But it would do me no end of good to come back here later tonight, and see a lot more posting done that doesn't look like it was done by Zombies, and, moreover, zombies who are English, and, on top of that, Zombie English who are, in fact, Chartered Accounts, and, to top it off, it wouldn't hurt my feelings at all to see you lot posting as though you weren't Zombie English Chartered Accountants Who Are Feeling a Bit Shirty About How Fecking Boring Their Endlessly Fecking Boring Lives Are. That's all I ask. It's not much, really. I just want to see some posting that doesn't read like dog's vomit curdling on a hot sidewalk, growing steadily more rancid by the minute as the harsh light of readership extracts from it every last vestige of desirability. Seriously, some of what you toads post diminishes the very essence of the beauty of language and the joys of social interaction the more it is read. When I come here, I want, preferably, to not see the Life sucked out of human interaction. Now, you will excuse me, I'm sure. I have to go to Brit's Pub and reassure a good friend that she shall achieve her Master's Degree, that she is a good Mother, that she is a wonderful person, good friend, and Chosen of the Goddess. As for you lot, you are...adequate to my current needs. I like you more than diarrhea. Even though, most of the time, your impact on me is about the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: ...{snipped} ... I mean even YOU lot, as despicable a group as you are, shouldn't have to suffer through that more than once. Well you can't say fairer than that Seanachai, that is ONE couldn't say fairer than that, of course you aren't ONE but if you were one you couldn't say fairer than that ... actually we're rather surprised (if I may speak for the lads and if not I then who, eh?) that the above actually made some sort of sense ... in the vague, quasi-sentient way that we've come to expect of you, but in any case you couldn't say fairer than that ... it would be nice if you could TRY, however, perhaps hire the job out eh? Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: I like you more than diarrhea. Even though, most of the time, your impact on me is about the same. Oh how sweet! We're like a sudden relief. btw PC back from the shop. Turns out this evening. w00t!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: I like you more than diarrhea. Even though, most of the time, your impact on me is about the same. Thinks about impacting Seanachai with diarrhea... a slow, sure smile spreads across my face. This... this can only be a GOOD thing... Roight! It's hot here. Hot and muggy. And the only positive aspect that this brings is that it keeps all the hillbilly neighbors safely in their houses where they can while away the hours in front of their oscillating fans, watching NASCAR on TV. Even when the Ice Cream Man comes motoring up the street, his little truck playing one of the compulsory tunes (Three Blind Mice, The Entertainer, Pop Goes The Weasel*), they stay hidden in their hovels, dusting their collection of commemorative plates and thinking about winning the lottery. It's peaceful here on Walton's Mountain, and that's the way (Uh-Huh, Uh-Huh) I like it. *( A buddy of mine, who lives in a mostly Slavic-Eastern European neighborhood, called me up one afternoon last summer, laughing hysterically, saying, "The Ice Cream Man just drove by and he's playing Polka music! Do you hear me? POLKA MUSIC!!!" And to prove that he wasn't drunk (although he was), he held the phone out the window and I definitely heard Polka music issuing from the truck's speakers. Ya gotta love niche marketing.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 Seanachai I've been thinking of your challenge since I first saw it this morning ... no doubt YOU'VE long forgotten it but I've remembered it and by George when you're right you're right ... in theory anyway since this would mark the FIRST time that's happened. But what to do eh? There's the rub as the OTHER Bard once said. I think it's time ... for SHOCK THERAPY! The only thing that will stir this lot of perennial losers is to shock them out of their lethargy and move them to post as they once did. So here it is ... I warn you do NOT attempt to view the following without serious eye protection, welders goggles will PROBABLY be sufficient to prevent eye damage ... R E A D Y ? I D I D W A R N Y O U ! <font size=5> A NEW Mormon Wife! </font> That should get them moving ... to the bathroom if nowhere else! Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted June 26, 2005 Author Share Posted June 26, 2005 Dear Boo, Do you think anyone got the reference I made in my post to Joe? Do you think anyone understands my thread title. Lost, Elvis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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