'Evil Men Have No Songs.' How is it That the Peng Challenge is Filled With Song?

[Seanachai]

We're not evil. Not as such. We even have a 'Code of Conduct', such as it is.

Thou shalt honour the Ladies of the 'Pool. Thou shalt not gibber on endlessly about your 'manly bits'. Thou shalt make every effort to make thine posts both interesting and witty, but mostly witty.

And we have certain deeply held beliefs. 'Everyone already here is better than you'. Well, that's not so much a belief as a truism. Most have achieved this superiour status by preceding you. For most of them, that's the only way they're ever going to get anywhere.

Now, be a good creature of dubious worth, and post something witty.

Oh, and if you like, you can Challenge someone. A favourite target is the Justicar, who hands out games like Father Christmas on crystal meth. Don't be afraid to Challenge 'Your Betters', otherwise you might as well pack it in, because it's unlikely we could find anyone beneath you.

Have fun, and be sure to visit our 'Bugger Offe Gifte Shoppe'!

[Speedy]

Oh no not again.

[Speedy]

Originally posted by v42below in the last thread:

How about my proposal of bestowing upon the Messiah-wannabe the proper and rightful title of Village Idiot of the Cesspool? I would have no trouble spelling and bolding that every time I refer to the dolt.

What?

You want to give all of them that title??

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

We're not evil.

Speak for yourself...

An' your title's full of it...

There were three men came out of the West,

Their fortunes for to try,

And these three men made a solemn vow:

John Barleycorn must die.

They’ve ploughed, they’ve sewn, they’ve harrowed him in,

Threw clods at Barley’s head,

And these three men made a solemn vow:

John Barleycorn was dead.

They’ve let him lie for a very long time,

‘Till the rains from heaven did fall,

And little Sir John sprung up his head,

And so amazed them all.

They’ve let him stand ‘till midsummer’s day,

‘Till he looked both pale and worn,

And little Sir John’s grown a long, long beard,

And so become a man.

They’ve hired men with the scythes so sharp,

To cut him off at the knee,

They’ve rolled him and tied him by the waist,

Servin’ him most barbarously.

They’ve hired men with the sharp pitchforks,

Who pricked him to the heart,

And the loader he has served him worse than that,

For he’s bound him to the cart

They’ve wheeled him around and around the field,

‘Till they came unto a barn,

And there they made a solemn oath,

On poor John Barleycorn.

They’ve hired men with the crab-tree sticks,

To cut him skin from bone,

And the miller he has served him worse than that,

For he’s ground him between two stones.

And little Sir John and the nut-brown bowl,

And he’s brandy in the glass;

And little Sir John and the nut-brown bowl,

Proved the strongest man at last.

The huntsman, he can’t hunt the fox,

Nor so loudly to blow his horn,

And the tinker he can’t mend kettle nor pots,

Without a little Barleycorn

[Seanachai]

In my dream, I'm suddenly in the army

And the army life is good,

but I'm ankle deep in blood

So I went to see the quartermaster

And the quartermaster said,

your socks are awful red

I found the master sergeant

I said "Sergeant, I am hurting,

I'm considering deserting"

He said "Do whatever is in your conscience"

So I tried to make a run,

but I was stapled to the gun

And the cannon were lined up all in a line  

Dark and cold

They aimed them all straight upward

And thunder rolled

So I found the first lieutenant

He said "God, they're going to bomb us,

from their vicious flying llamas!"

I dove into the llama shelter

I became Charlotte Cordet,

and the battle fell away

And the peace that reigned in Upper Dreamland

Was badly negated

when the giant slugs invaded

I turned to face my fine young officers

I was barking out my orders,

when they crashed across the border

And the cannon were lined up all in a line  

Dark and cold

They aimed them all straight upward

And thunder rolled

The cannon were lined up all in a line  

Dark and cold

They aimed them all straight upward

And thunder rolled

Army (Dream Song)

-Boiled in Lead

[Berlichtingen]

Dear Mr. Fantasy play us a tune,

Something to make us all feel happy.

Do anything to take us out of this gloom

Sing a song, play guitar, make us happy.

You are the one who makes us feel glad

By doin' that you break out in tears.

Please don't be sad to take up the straight life you had

We wouldn't have known you all these years.

Dear Mr. Fantasy play us a tune,

something to treat us happy.

Do anything to take us out of this gloom.

[Nidan1]

O flower of Scotland

When will we see

Your like again

That fought and died for

Your wee bit hill and glen

And stood against him

Proud Edward's army

And sent him homeward

Tae think again.

The hills are bare now

And autumn leaves lie

Thick and still

O'er land that is lost now

Which those so dearly held

And stood against him

Proud Edward's army

And sent him homeward

Tae think again.

Those days are passed now

And in the past

They must remain

But we can still rise now

And be the nation again

That stood against him

Proud Edward's army

And sent him homeward

Tae think again.

[Tero]

Kytösavun aukeilla mailla on kansa

mi aina on vaalinut vapauttansa.

Vannoivat näin pojat urheat siellä:

Orjuus pois, taikka menköön henki,

niinkuin mennyt on isienkin,

kunnia kuolla on vapauden tiellä.

Tää vala on murtumaton.

Se vala on koetettu puhtaana pitää:

painettu on päin inhaa itää,

kaikki, mi jaksoi kalpaa käyttää,

ja pidetään vasta, nyt sekä aina,

orjuuden ies meitä koskaan ei paina.

Taistossa kuollen sen tahdomme näyttää.

Tää vala on murtumaton.

Ken ompi se kansa, en mainita huoli,

Utsjoki, Häme, koko Karjalan puoli,

tuntevat mikä on Ilkan suku,

Laurilan työ, sekä Vilppulan vaihe,

lasten lapsille laulujen aihe,

kunnian miehistä kaunein luku.

Sankarit vaan, niin käy kuolemaan

[Nidan1]

Somebody slap this upstart with a large fish.

[Tero]

Preferably with a Red Herring.

Whatever you do do NOT use canned salmon.

[Spiny Mouse]

Chorus:

Then its moose, moose, I want a moose.

I have never had anything quite like a moose.

I've had many women, me life has been loose,

But I've never had anything quite like a moose.

Song:

At the end of a dusty day walking my post,

I dream of those pleasures I fancy the most,

And to lure the great beasty I'll play my kazoo,

Cause a Moose in the boots is worth ten in the zoo.

Chorus

The Royal Kings Rangers are strange it is said,

They all grab a lamb when they crawl into bed,

They moan and they bleat and they roll on the ground,

We don't settle for lambchops when Moose are around.

Chorus

Bears are quite nice on a cold winters night,

Coyotes and Bobcats will put up a fight,

But there's no greater joy and it is the truth,

Than when I grab ahold of a big sexy Moose.

Chorus

When I was a young lad I used to like girls,

I played with their bodies and fondled their curls.

Till my girl ran off with a Captain named Bruce.

Oh you'll never get treated like that by a moose!

Chorus

When I'm in the mood for a good lay,

I go to the closet and get me some hay.

I open the window and spread it around,

Cause the moose always come when there's hay on the ground!

Chorus

A fun little ditty from pre-revolutionary war America. There are, of course, many more verses. Picture Roger's Rangers around the campfire...

[BFCElvis]

Wankers.

[Boo Radley]

Always look on the bright side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten,

There's something you've forgotten!

And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing,

When you're feeling in the dumps,

Don't be silly chumps,

Just purse your lips and whistle -- that's the thing!

And... always look on the bright side of life...

whistle

Come on!

Always look on the bright side of life...

whistle

For life is quite absurd,

And death's the final word.

You must always face the curtain with a bow!

Forget about your sin -- give the audience a grin,

Enjoy it -- it's the last chance anyhow!

So always look on the bright side of death!

Just before you draw your terminal breath.

Life's a piece of sh*t,

When you look at it.

Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true,

You'll see it's all a show,

Keep 'em laughing as you go.

Just remember that the last laugh is on you!

And always look on the bright side of life...

whistle

Always look on the bright side of life

whistle

[Joe Shaw]

Right lads, this Spinny Moose has NO LOCATION in his profile ... NONE ... and you know what that means.

We cut him dead on the street, if he dares to so much as glance our way we sniff haughtily and turn our heads with a flip. No location, indeed ... granted Seanachai in his accustomed alcoholic haze, neglected to post that bit, but we've rules even if they ARE unpublished and these damned SSNs need to be curbed, give us an email AND a general location or be snubbed ... AND he's a National Guardsman and we do NOT need more of THAT TYPE in here ... actually I'm not sure we ever did have that type in here, does NGcavscout count? No, no, not CAN he count, DOES he count. Based on his posts I'd have to say the odds of his being ABLE to count are very low indeed.

So ... everyone on the same page ... Mace, turn from the page with the sheep on it, we're on another page now.

Joe

[Boo Radley]

I just realized somefink... dalem is Rob Wilco and this proves it:

He's got a cat and a dog (not pictured) and he's a gaming dork. What more do you need to say?

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

I just realized somefink... dalem is Rob Wilco and this proves it:

He's got a cat and a dog (not pictured) and he's a gaming dork. What more do you need to say?

I dunno ... that guy looks better than dalem.

Joe

[Spiny Mouse]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Right lads, this Spinny Moose has NO LOCATION in his profile ... NONE ... and you know what that means.

We cut him dead on the street, if he dares to so much as glance our way we sniff haughtily and turn our heads with a flip. No location, indeed ... granted Seanachai in his accustomed alcoholic haze, neglected to post that bit, but we've rules even if they ARE unpublished and these damned SSNs need to be curbed, give us an email AND a general location or be snubbed ... AND he's a National Guardsman and we do NOT need more of THAT TYPE in here ... actually I'm not sure we ever did have that type in here, does NGcavscout count? No, no, not CAN he count, DOES he count. Based on his posts I'd have to say the odds of his being ABLE to count are very low indeed.

So ... everyone on the same page ... Mace, turn from the page with the sheep on it, we're on another page now.

Joe

That's "Spiny", as in what real men have in their backs. "Spinny" is what real men do when they see an attractive moose, as in "He saw a cute moose out of the corner of his eye and he done spinnied head around to check it out."

Turn your head with a flip? What, so your curls bounce? How attractive. But I bet you aren't covered in dark brown hair, so I'm not interested.

My location? You may want to look over your shoulder. And keep a lookout for Tero as well, his profile doesn't share his whereabouts either. My email address may give some clue as to where I'm from. If you have the wit to figure it out.

You won't catch me looking at mere sheep with you or Mace. Moose are what I want.

And another clue on where I'm from: I did have a real live moose out between my front door and the horse paddock over the weekend. (Too bad he's male. The females are sooooo much sweeter.) So, where in the world (besides in the opening credits to MP's Holy Grail) can you find such lovely creatures?

[Patchy]

I was walking down the High Street

When I heard footsteps behind me

And there was a little old man (Seanachai: "Hello")

In scarlet and grey, shuffling away (Seanachai: "laughter")

Well he trotted back to my house

And he sat beside the telly (Seanachai: "Oaah..")

With his tiny hands on his tummy

Chuckling away, laughing all day (Seanachai: "laughter")

Oh, I ought to report you to the Gnome office

(Seanachai: "Gnome Office")

Yes

(Seanachai: "Hahahahaha")

CHORUS

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee

"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee

"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"

Said the laughing Gnome

Well I gave him roasted toadstools and a glass of dandelion wine (Seanachai: "Burp, pardon")

Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne

Carried his bag and gave him a fag

(Seanachai: "Haven't you got a light boy?")

"Here, where do you come from?"

(Seanachai: "Gnome-man's land, hahihihi")

"Oh, really?"

In the morning when I woke up

He was sitting on the edge of my bed

With his brother whose name was Fred

He'd bought him along to sing me a song

Right, let's hear it

Here, what's that clicking noise?

(Seanachai: "That's Fred, he's a "metrognome", haha")

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee

"I'm a laughing Gnome and you don't catch me"

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee

"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"

(Seanachai: "Own up, I'm a gnome, ain't I right, haha")

"Haven't you got an 'ome to go to?"

(Seanachai: "No, we're gnomads")

"Didn't they teach you to get your hair cut at school?

you look like a rolling gnome."

(Seanachai: "No, not at the London School of Ecognomics")

Now they're staying up the chimney

And we're living on caviar and honey (Seanachai: "hooray!")

Cause they're earning me lots of money

Writing comedy prose for radio shows

It's the-er (Seanachai: "what?")

It's the Gnome service of course

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee

"I'm a laughing Gnome and you don't catch me"

Ha ha ha, oh, dear me

(Seanachai: "Ha ha ha, hee hee hee

"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee

"I'm a laughing Gnome and you can't catch me"")

(Seanachai: "One more time, yeah")

Laughing Gnome

by David Bowie

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by Skinny Rodent:

My location? You may want to look over your shoulder. And keep a lookout for Tero as well, his profile doesn't share his whereabouts either. My email address may give some clue as to where I'm from. If you have the wit to figure it out.

Ooh, ooh, guessing games from SSNs, I just love them....

Perhaps you should just "die" then.....

[ March 07, 2005, 07:07 AM: Message edited by: Nidan1 ]

[Spiny Mouse]

Originally posted by Nidan1:

Ooh, ooh, guessing games from SSNs, I just love them....

Perhaps you should just "die" then.....

Oh, admit it. You enjoyed the moose song. Even if I didn't jump to modify my profile and I gave you a guessing game that you didn't like.

Oh, and here's another chance for someone to get out the abuse flinging trebuchet: what does "SSN" stand for?

[Lars]

Originally posted by Spiny Mouse:

My email address may give some clue as to where I'm from.

Hmm, seems he's with the rest of the yahoos...

[Spiny Mouse]

Oh, and Lars is from MN. Another place blessed with the presence of moose. You are most fortunate.

And it's not the yahoo part that holds the clue.

[ng cavscout]

blah, blah, blah

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

... AND he's a National Guardsman and we do NOT need more of THAT TYPE in here ... actually I'm not sure we ever did have that type in here, does NGcavscout count? No, no, not CAN he count, DOES he count. Based on his posts I'd have to say the odds of his being ABLE to count are very low indeed.

Joe

1, 3, 6, 9, see, I can count, But if I count over 13, can I take off my shoes? Don't you have the Osmonds to Deify? Or a Choir to organize? or sumfink?

You mentioned another Heroic National Guardsman? Where? Is he a SSN? Wait, an Officer is he? Too bad, I thought the class of folks in this joint was improving for a second, guess not.

So, there is going to be a game where you can drive a T-72 into combat.... hmmm, what fun. Will there be scenarios where you can be a member of the Tawakalna division at the battle of 73 Easting? That would be fun. How long till there is 1985 mod, where you can be in the 3rd Shock Army and jump the Inter-German border? I want to take a Soviet Tank battalion and go up against a troop of the 11th ACR, that sounds like fun.

Does the game ship with a scratch and sniff sticker you can put on your monitor that gives off the odor of burning crewman to really give you that "I Am In The Game" feeling?

[seriously/] I have the 19th off, and don't have to be at Ft. McCoy until the morning of the 20th, so, I will see if I can make it to Chicago for the demo.

[ March 07, 2005, 08:23 AM: Message edited by: NG cavscout ]

[Nidan1]

Nuclear Attack Submarine?

[Nidan1]