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The Replacement Thread for Master Goodale's Potty Mouth Cheery Waffle


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Hey MathMan, also known as Dave H.

Do you have a spot open for Abbott's latest creation?

MasterGoodale and Becket's3,000 point Meeting Engagement (fictional)

The Road to Moscow.

September 1941

It is cold, windy and damp. The leaves have turned and snow is beginning to fall. Moscow lies 40 kilometers to the east and resistance to take the Capital has been stiffening greatly along one of the only paved highways for hundreds of kilometers. Battle is expected again, with the coming dawn….

Jas :mad: n
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Originally posted by Axe2121:

Hey MathMan, also known as Dave H.

Do you have a spot open for Abbott's latest creation?

Actually I do. Most of my other PBEMs are in the last couple of turns, except for the restart against Becket. You're serious about playing me so you can finally win, aren't you? It's okay with me. Send it along and away we'll go.

Maggot! :D

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Dear Becket,

In response to your attorney's letter to my client, I would like to address a few issues. Although I was vaguely familar with your half-arsed, limp-wristed, completely baseless attempt to challenge your right to my client's sig this letter accounting the details is the fullest telling to the story to date. Had I not been forced to collect my client from the drunk tank this morning I would not have been aware of these facts.

According to your attorney's letter:

our client asked for a few months pause in the game, and offered that you could remove the sig line during the intervening period

All well and good, in and of itself. Unfortunately your client is in no position to dictate terms. The terms of combat in the "Cheery Waffle" are archaic and inviolate, steeped in tradition therefore beyond human (or in the case of your client, sub-human) control.

And to this point:

our client asked for a few months pause in the game

Rules of engagement state that a failure to maintain at a one turn per month results in a forfeit. Period. Non-negiotable.

Our client was dismayed at your recent refusal to restore that sig line, but is willing to overlook the incident.

This is an equitable solution as your forfeiture would remove any claim to my client's sig.

However, as a result, you have forfeited any and all claims to sig lines now and in the future.

Basis? For the record, a game was started but rejected due to your client's obvious attempt to make an unwinnable situation for my client. At this point your client subsituted the previous game that was all ready underway. As the terms were for sig, this subsitute must be accepted in place of the rejected scenario.

I believe that we agree on most points, that the disputed points are minor and that we should be able to come to solution that would allow my client to treat your client like the hoor that he is.

Thank you for attention to this matter and I will have my client contact your client as soon as I can revive him.

Sincerly,

Al Kohalick, Esq.

Huckster, Shyster and Leach

[ August 21, 2003, 05:23 PM: Message edited by: mike_the_wino ]

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Originally posted by Axe2121:

I always prefer smaller point sizes but in this case, I respectfully defer to my good friend from Indiana.

Definitely the 2,000 point battle. Same map, fewer units makes the battle much more interesting - to me, anyway. Does that mean I agree with my Right Honourable friend from upper Toronto? GRRARRGGHHHRAAGHRRAR!!! :mad: :mad:

Congratulations to my friend from New Zealand, Stalin's Organ, for a victory in our game. He conducted a depressingly suffocating defense as the Russians against my Germans in the scenario Protopopovka. One good thing about it, I've now had some recent experience in knocking out British tanks. I'm sure that will pay off in a big way in CMAK, when my Italians take on Monty's boys. :D:D

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Begone foul mike, you fakir, poseur and incompetent (incontinent?) buffoon. Any real lawyer knows that the first thing you do, the VERY first thing you do in regards to ANY client, is secure a fat retainer.

Then you figure out how to bill time whilst determining the best way for a client to weasel out of his obligations.

Charlatan.

Steve

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Originally posted by Axe2121:

I always prefer smaller point sizes but in this case, I respectfully defer to my good friend from Indiana.

Definitely the 2,000 point battle.
Ok gentleman. I will have it ready and sent out to you later on tonight or tomorrow. I am building a cabinet in the garage today and should get back to it now that lunch is finished.
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Originally posted by Wallybob:

Goodarse, Send me the flipping turn, you cretin!

I understand that you are reluctant, given the fact that I am torching your soldiers as fast as I can. I will have your sig. Bwahaahaahaa.

So what is Thomas Jefferson like as a PBEM opponent?

Paging Dr. Becket. Did you send two turns this morning (one for each game)? I only got one from our one-sided Kursk battle but not from the Finnish infantry leap-frog (or leap-grog) battle.

[ August 21, 2003, 07:41 PM: Message edited by: Axe2121 ]

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Since you asked Axe2121, it's now 5:20 and I got in early in order to skip out early. Thank you very much.

And now...Canada, in all it's glory. A short telling of my epic journey.

Wandering in the darkness of an unenlightened town, or an American loose in Canada

Day 1

Slipping in through the commercial crossing for customs into Canada got us across the border before we could change our minds. Good thing as the horrors that awaited us would have turned anyone's stomach. Vancouver is a very modern city, in some respects, and very clean. Too clean, gives off an eery, 50's, "Leave-To-Beaver"-esque feel. It's un-natural.

Spent the night in the Westin overlooking the harbor. Quite lovely place, I would recommend it to anyone visiting Vancouver, should you choose to endulge yourself a bit. Room service was yummy and the bar served until 1am, at least that's the time they sent me on my way. By the way, my first experience with Alexander Keith's...not impressed. Luckily the bar also stocked a real beer, Guiness, by which I could cleanse my palate of that watery drivel that they passed off as an IPA.

Day 2

Although we would be leaving for the campground, which was 30-40 minutes by car, lunch was in order. Having been denied entry into the Lion's Head Pub the night before by a minor technicality, they were closed, I was eager to see what fare they offered. One Bloody Mary and I was right as rain. Got there just as the lunch rush was hitting so I had plenty of time to enjoy the beautiful weather before food and Guiness arrived. Both were more than acceptable.

Then it was off to wander around Gastown and Chinatown until the meal was worn off. Quaint city Vancouver is, it is painfully clean, the people are nice and the weather was great. But time was wasting and we had reservations at a campground and had to get set up before night fall.

Made camp and decided to run out real quick to get a 6-pack for relaxing around the fire later, well not the fire since all fires are banned in BC right now but we could still sit by the lantern. So we drive 10 minutes north to a clump of brand new homes and the prospect of a convience store. No luck. The place was TOO new. Nothing there but we were able to flag down a man walking a dog and he directed us north a bit further. Pulled into a ramshackle collection of buildings beneath a rickety old mining operation. The place was called Brittania Bay and I later read that the whole place had been in foreclosure as developers wrangled over who owned what and who owed what. Walk into a building that claimed to be selling food items and approached the only person in the place. Took me a few moments to catch his attention as he was half into a freezer knocking ice off the walls.

"Excuse me, don't you carry beer?"

"Nope", pokes head back into freezer.

"What? No beer? Where is the closest place that sells beer?"

"Squamish", head disappears into freezer again.

At this point a kind gentleman reminded me that Canada is not a very civilized place and gave me directions to the State, oh pardon me, PROVINCE-run liquor store in Squamish. Back into the car for another 15 minute drive into the "town". Although called a town, Squamish and the area around it is home to about 18,000 people. WTF? There were more undergrads in the college I attended.

Beer in tow, we head back to the campsite to eat some dinner, play some cards and take in the scenery. Porteau Cove is located on the southern-most fjord in North America and the scenery is breath-taking. Even though the campsite was right on the water, I must say that taking a late-night swim before bed was not the thing to do. I almost lost a Teva 30 feet from shore and discovered barnacles on a rock. The water was cool enough to mask the pain but it was a good thing we had a first-aid kit. Although I only suffered supercial scrapes, I was bleeding like a stuck pig. Bandaged up and it was time for bed. That was more than enough fun for one day. Besides, with the water gently brushing on the rocks less than twenty feet from the tent it was hard to stay awake.

Day 3

Slept in late and woke up listening to the waves gently crashing on the rocks. The tide was back out and I realized why I was the only one playing sea lion the night before. But enough of this scene, we were off to Alice Lake which was about 40 minutes north. Great little park. Drive into the main parking lot and there is Lake Alice. Within a 6 kilometer radius were 3 other lakes. Having spied a promising watering hole between camp and Alice Lake I took the Events Coordinator on a forced march around the lake and up to Edith Lake. Only 2 kilometers to the lake but about a 600-700 foot elevation change. I waited until we had reached the summit before gently suggesting a nice cold beer on the way home. The race was on. Back down the hill to the car and out we went.

The Shade Tree turned out to be reminiscent of a bar that frequented as a younger lad. Tacky crap adored the place and a nice selection of beers on tap. The one thing that I noticed was Guiness is universal but Canada gets a lot of Irish beers on tap. The Kilkenny IPA found a new customer with the missus whilst I took a liking to Okanogan(sic?) Pale Ale. After settling the prospect of hunched over a propane BBQ seemed less appealing than the bar fare. Bacon wrapped scallops to start, chick for the lady and prime rib for me. Not bad food either. Made it an early night and headed back to the campsite. I loved the fact that is light so late in the day. Walked down to a safer, less barnacle-encrusted beach and took a swim while it was still light out. Refreshingly cool. Off to bed for another soothing nights sleep. Woke up to the sounds of rain gently kissing the tent and the sweet smell that is the freshly washed earth. Also woke up once to the not so soothing sound of a freight train rocketing past, less than 40 feet from our campsite. I had noticed the tracks before but we had not spent much time in the campsite to realize HOW active the line was. All I could think of as I tried to go back to sleep was, "What would happen if the train de-railed?"

Day 4

Slpet in again. Just marvelous. Time was awasting though, needed to break camp by 11am per campsite rules. Quick snack and we torn down our little coastal retreat. Car loaded and pulled out of campsite at 10:40, just as the people arrived to take over the site. What timing.

Missed the commercial exit as some nong came racing up and blocked me out of my chance to get over. F*ing Canadians. No worries, how bad can the regular crossing be? OMFG. It took us an hour to reach the civility of the lovely United States of America.

The End.

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Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Begone foul mike, you fakir, poseur and incompetent (incontinent?) buffoon. Any real lawyer knows that the first thing you do, the VERY first thing you do in regards to ANY client, is secure a fat retainer.

Then you figure out how to bill time whilst determining the best way for a client to weasel out of his obligations.

Charlatan.

Steve

This makes me happy. It's less than two weeks since I first called mike a poseur. I hope this becomes a tradition.

As for wino, you cannot seriously be trying to come up with rules for the Goodale thread? If that's the case mister, you better head out for Peng right now.

In any event, I do not care what crack fantasy you came up with in my absence about rools and forfeitures and what not. Until you put my sig line back in, you get nothing. Also, you need to win two games before you can claim any sig from me. I beat ya once, see? It takes one victory for you just to set the scales to neutral, two to claim a sig. Way I see it, the game we started in April is still in session so you still need to work on win one, and then beg me for the chance to get win two.

Never mind that I'm going to beat you unrecognizable, so none of this matters.

Poseur.

[ August 21, 2003, 08:39 PM: Message edited by: Becket ]

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Originally posted by Axe2121:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Wallybob:

Goodarse, Send me the flipping turn, you cretin!

I understand that you are reluctant, given the fact that I am torching your soldiers as fast as I can. I will have your sig. Bwahaahaahaa.

So what is Thomas Jefferson like as a PBEM opponent?

Paging Dr. Becket. Did you send two turns this morning (one for each game)? I only got one from our one-sided Kursk battle but not from the Finnish infantry leap-frog (or leap-grog) battle. </font>

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Originally posted by Becket:

As for wino, you cannot seriously be trying to come up with rules for the Goodale thread? If that's the case mister, you better head out for Peng right now. This thread is played like Calvinball, got it?

In any event, I do not care what crack fantasy you came up with in my absence about rools and forfeitures and what not. Until you put my sig line back in, you get nothing. Also, you need to win two games before you can claim any sig from me. I beat ya once, see? It takes one victory for you just to set the scales to neutral, two to claim a sig. Calvinball, baby, got it? Way I see it, the game we started in April is still in session so you still need to work on win one, and then beg me for the chance to get win two.

Never mind that I'm going to beat you unrecognizable in the current game.

No, you buggered off. Hence you lose sig. Re-set to zero. This one is for the marbles. You know what marbles are right? It's those solid bits rattling around in your empty dome when look down for a penny.

As previously shown, I have 2 reasons showing why you are a forfeiting limp-wristed, no-game-having, monkey-humper. Deny it all you like but the fact remains when you grow a pair big enough to send turns again I will kick them right through the top of your dome and claim you as my BIATCH. Being a little nancy-girl I imagine you will try some weasel-esque attempt to avoid changing your sig. Fine, whatever. You are getting owned so get on with it.

Less posting more turn-sending, I am anxious to extend your suffering.

[ August 21, 2003, 08:46 PM: Message edited by: mike_the_wino ]

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