Noba Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 Originally posted by Mace: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Kitty: "Aim towards the Enemy." I think that's resolved a major problem some of our collegues seem to be having. btw isn't it once again time for you to brutally slaughter me? If so send a setup, your choice of settings. Mace </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted June 30, 2003 Author Share Posted June 30, 2003 Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund: P.S. The girls in Sweden are the most gorgeous ones in the entire worldl. D.S. Love, Hrotlkund Hortlund, next time get the girls to wear the beer goggles... SSN Hint Of The Day: Announce when you’re going to the bathroom. Now sod off. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurkur Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 Lurkur vs. SirReallybigshoo The denouement (which is French for "Damn, I lost!") Von Lurkur concentrated all of his forward fire power on the rough patch of ground. There was one unit holding out. A squad advanced into the patch and shot the stubborn Soviets where they fought. It was a platoon headquarters unit, and it was obvious that the rest of the platoon was in the woods beyond and in bad shape. The remnants of the squad in the rubble found the last holdouts, a Captain and his aide, but were wounded trying to take them out. Von Lurkur began to prepare for a full press into the ruined building and the woods beyond. They would secure the area and seriously restrict the Russians ability to defend the road. An aide came to his side, saying that headquarters was on the radio. "Halt your attack, Herr Major." "Now?! I have an enemy platoon ready to smash and a Captain to take prisoner! Give me another 10 minutes!" "Halt your attack, Herr Major. Secure your gains and prepare for a counter attack. That is an order." The bitter command was given, and the Russians scampered off into the trees. Individual soldiers took potshots but as a whole everyone was relieved that the fighting had ended. Von Lurkur noticed with a little shock that several comely ladies in impossibly tattered uniforms were led out of the basement of the administrative office and escorted to the rear. Bastiges! There was nothing in the briefing about women! There were 5 girls in all, two blondes, two brunettes and a redhead. All were about 20 years old, give or take a few. Every blouse and skirt had these odd long tears in them that kept the naughty bits covered, but plunging cleavages and shapely legs were revealed in the rips. It looked like they had been wrestling and tearing meaningful slits into each other's clothing at the moment of attack. Their eyes showed that they had been frightened and more than a little curious about their fate at the hands of the Huns, but now were led away showing no small disappointment on their faces. Doubtless they were being taken back to that Surrealovich to have an opportunity to "thank" him personally. He allowed himself a moment of yellowed-eyed lustful envy, and then laughed at himself. He wouldn't have touched them if they had been captured. He had Nadja, with her brilliant light complexion, raven hair and eyes that practically glowed a fiery blue. All others paled in comparison. Besides, she would kill him. Literally. She would take her father's Luger from the Great War, put it to the back of his head and fire three times. Von Lurkur looked out across the steppe. Somewhere over there was Surrealovich. His eyes hardened. We shall meet again, comrade. We shall meet again... The end AAR stuff I generally agree with SirReal's comments, but disagree with the notion that I "rushed" it. I had 40 turns to take three objectives, but at 20 I had not taken the first. Any and all movement was difficult to accomplish, as nearly all points could be covered by a majority of the defenders. It required a good bit of covering fire to make the tree line, and once I did my units were constantly pinned down. Losses at this point were moderate, but I had several HMGs driven back while trying to move forward. Eventually, I had 5 HMGs and 4 platoons to focus on the objective and nearby units, and an additional 7 HMGs to provide longer range covering fire. The difference between 400 and 500 meters is not that great for an MG42. The piecemeal assaults were due to the fact that I couldn't suppress his whole force, and didn't have any more smoke to block off the distant defenders. My men would get pinned as they moved, and therefore of the three squads sent only one would make any real progress. Generally, I try to move as few forces as possible when assaulting, memories of the Russians trying to advance in that one demo scenario made a big impression. I used to believe that the steppes were a place where vehicles came to die. Now I realize that EVERYTHING dies on the steppe. This was the first infantry battle I had fought where machine guns could fire freely from corner to corner, it was that open. One cannot underestimate the shock of discovering 6 Maxim MGs right next to my guys at the start. I ordered my off-board arty to break them up. It was probably unnecessary to do so. My troops panicked pretty quickly in the lack of cover, and I assume his did as well. Better to have used the 120 on a concentration of troops, like the right flank, and the 81 for smoke screens. Another huge problem was that the ATRs rendered my support halftracks virtually useless. I expected to lose a few and to have to hunt down the ATR teams, but SirReal had *one* too many. On the right flank, the attack on my 251/16 FT halftrack was a "one shot, one kill" even though I had guys in place ready to give suppression fire on any AT asset that showed it's pointy little head. The loss of that FT was a big blow, with it I would have carried the right flank, without it, I could not win that firefight. Initially I had the FT and another 75mm armed halftrack to support the right flank. They turned out to be little or no help. In fact, if I had driven my halftracks off of the board on turn one the game would have been a draw. They turned out to be a big liability. So, in the end I am not too disappointed. The useful forces ended up being at a 1:1 ratio. Losses were about equal and I advanced over very hostile terrain to take an objective. Not the stuff of legends, but not too shabby and a useful education about fighting in that horrid terrain. Bitter recriminations and accusations: I find it very unusual that the game against a programmer ended early, just as I had about two dozen of his men at the edge of extinction! No doubt he used some hack to get into the program! I can't accuse him of gamey tactics because no tactics of any sort were observable, other than setting up his men on this Gawd-forsaken billiards table and burning up ammo! I am hardly disappointed by this, as he was sponsored by the Shavian House, a corrupt and detestable organization where the term "maneuver" refers to the activities of giving impossibly lopsided set ups to opponents. Ultimately, I join with hundreds of right-minded cesspudlians in blaming Shaw for all of this. Lurk 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 God Claims Responsibility For Australia Deity admits mistake, proclaims regret Reuters Geneva, Switzerland, June 30 — In a startling development that may have long-term impact on religion, God claimed responsibility for Australia at a press conference this morning in Geneva. Reporters had gathered to ask God questions regarding various puzzling aspects of Creation. One reporter asked God: “And Australia? What about Australia?” After a lengthy pause, God dropped his eyes and looked at where his feet would be, if, in fact, he was a corporeal being, and quietly said: “Yeah. I did that. I did Australia.” In the silence that followed the announcement, the Supreme Being went on to express deep regret over the act, and apologized to the rest of the planet for the confusion and heartache he had no doubt inflicted on so many. “You have to understand,” the Lord said, “that there were, well, circumstances. I’m not proud of the fact, and I don’t want to make excuses, but I was drunk at the time. Extremely drunk. I have very little recollection of the decision making process that led up to Australia.” When questioned about the fact that the British Empire had always been held responsible for Australia, God quickly moved to exonerate them. “Oh, the limeys have a lot to answer for, but not for this. Australia is all my fault, I’m afraid.” After God admitted that he’d created Australia while ‘dead drunk’, one reporter simply shrugged and commented: “He admits creating Australia while he was on a bender? I didn’t know there was that much beer in the whole universe.” God said that while he had no immediate plans to make restitution, he wouldn’t rule out doing so in the future. “I feel just awful about this,” spoke God. “But it’s such a relief to finally own up to it. The whole world has my apology. I’m not sure what else can be done, but I’ll do what I can to make this up. Maybe I could have the sea just swallow it up, or something. But we’ll have to wait until the tourism season’s over, I suppose.” When asked about the nickname ‘the Lucky Country’, Jehovah responded: “Spin doctoring. Pure and simple. I mean, if you woke up the next morning after an all-night drunk, and found you’d created a place full of marsupials, hopping rats the size of people, beavers with duck bills, and populated the whole place with the criminal classes of the British Isles who’d settled down to make beer a sacrament and spoke to each other in some strange slang that sounds like one of those languages that twins invent to talk to each other, wouldn’t you try to come up with something that made the whole thing sound like a good idea?” In his defense, God was heard to say after the conference: “I did try to put it as far away from everyone as possible, you know. Well, except for the Indonesians. But those sods had it coming.” 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Boggs Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: God Claims Responsibility For Australia Let me catch my breath.........Oh My Gawd!.... That was..(uh oh, I feel a toady moment coming).......excellent! I still hate you Seanachai. More than ever now, because you actually made me laugh. The shame of that realization will leave me with a burning desire to hate with all the passion of my soul. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 I'm waiting for the day that Seanachai finds out that his natural parents were a pair of dingo drovers from Lake Nappanerica. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 Originally posted by Jim Boggs: Let me catch my breath.........Oh My Gawd!.... That was..(uh oh, I feel a toady moment coming).......excellent! There's nothing wrong with sycophancy if it's properly targeted. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 Originally posted by Jim Boggs: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai: God Claims Responsibility For Australia Let me catch my breath.........Oh My Gawd!.... That was..(uh oh, I feel a toady moment coming).......excellent! I still hate you Seanachai. More than ever now, because you actually made me laugh. The shame of that realization will leave me with a burning desire to hate with all the passion of my soul. </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Boggs Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 Originally posted by dalem: Enough of that, lad. Fetch my RAKE! Uh...well...you see....I had to use it just briefly mind you, and the stains have been difficult to remove. But here it is, use it in good cheer! Oh, and Thanks for letting me borrow it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 Originally posted by Jim Boggs: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem: Enough of that, lad. Fetch my RAKE! Uh...well...you see....I had to use it just briefly mind you, and the stains have been difficult to remove. But here it is, use it in good cheer! Oh, and Thanks for letting me borrow it. </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Boggs Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 Originally posted by dalem: Well now it's too late. My honor has been sullied. -dale GOOD NEWS dalem!!! For one to have their honor sullied would mean they had honor. Clearly you have never had any honor, therefore there is nothing to be sullied! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 Originally posted by Jim Boggs: GOOD NEWS dalem!!! For one to have their honor sullied would mean they had honor. Clearly you have never had any honor, therefore there is nothing to be sullied! BOOT! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 Originally posted by Noba: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Mace: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Kitty: "Aim towards the Enemy." I think that's resolved a major problem some of our collegues seem to be having. btw isn't it once again time for you to brutally slaughter me? If so send a setup, your choice of settings. Mace </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 Originally posted by Boo_Radley: I'm waiting for the day that Seanachai finds out that his natural parents were a pair of dingo drovers from Lake Nappanerica. Well, it would explain why one of my earliest memories is a voice growling 'maybe the dingoes ate your baby...' Ah, Boo. If only Lindy Chamberlain had been your Mom... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: Ah, Boo. If only Lindy Chamberlain had been your Mom... ...I would have been 26. A bit too old for the dingos to carry away. Unless it was a conspiracy of dingos. Which sounds like a pretty good name for our little gaggle of Aussies. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 Originally posted by Boo_Radley: Unless it was a conspiracy of dingos. Which sounds like a pretty good name for our little gaggle of Aussies. Actually, Boo, I quite like that. A Conspiracy of Dingoes. That is our Aussie contingent, now isn't it? Oh, and Boo, I think that for you, any age would be appropriate to be dragged off and eaten by dingoes. Perhaps with a little training and a team effort, we could still get the dusky little devils to make a go of you. [ June 30, 2003, 10:45 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 Good Lord... If Seanachai keeps posting like that, this place might be worth coming back to. A brief momentary spark to be sure, but it remains to be seen how fast his latest bottle of Ripple wears off. Perhaps we should take up a colection to buy him a case of Thunderbird, white or red, it's just food coloring, but it improves his posts immensely. <tiny>Mouse</tiny> <large>is</large> a gamey bastage, polite 'enuf to setup a match with autopick Russian infantry for me, and cherry-picking German armor for him. I blame the loss on the three tall Killian's I had, and the fact that he's a gamey bastage. If I didn't know better, I'd swear that the Sorting Brick chose him for House Shavian, right where he'll fit in. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mouse Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 Nyeah, nyeah, nyeah... whiner (not worth quoting even). But I have bigger catfish to fry. Miss Kitty, I, the one and only Mouse, call you out! Snack indeed! Out from the Longbranch Saloon, complete with your petticoats and feathered hat, clad in your Sunday-best, for a real knock-down, drag-out Tom-and-Jerry-style battle of CMBB. So let it be known. I'll wager you a wedge of good Swiss against a box of Friskies that this Jerry will whomp your Tom once and for all! So take that! you ferocious feline! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 Originally posted by Noba: Dear Miss Kitty. A note to your goodself. Don't send the Eastern States maroon a setup. He can't keep up with what he has now ! Originally posted by Kitty: I have a feeling he'll make time for me. Yeh. It's because Kitty looks far more sexier in skin tight leather than you do. Mace [ June 30, 2003, 11:28 PM: Message edited by: Mace ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 Originally posted by Mace: Yeh. It's because Kitty looks far more sexier in skin tight leather than you do. Mace Hmm the counter-balancing effect of the two images has left me feeling strangely neutral. Surprising that the horror imparted by an image of Noba in skin tight leather could be dispelled by anything, no matter how pleasant. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 Originally posted by Herr Oberst: Good Lord... If Seanachai keeps posting like that, this place might be worth coming back to. Are you still alive? We haven't seen you in ages. Weren't we playing a game of CMBO? I declare myself the winner, Houdini. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 Originally posted by Herr Oberst: Good Lord... If Seanachai keeps posting like that, this place might be worth coming back to. A brief momentary spark to be sure, but it remains to be seen how fast his latest bottle of Ripple wears off. Perhaps we should take up a colection to buy him a case of Thunderbird, white or red, it's just food coloring, but it improves his posts immensely. <tiny>Mouse</tiny> <large>is</large> a gamey bastage, polite 'enuf to setup a match with autopick Russian infantry for me, and cherry-picking German armor for him. I blame the loss on the three tall Killian's I had, and the fact that he's a gamey bastage. If I didn't know better, I'd swear that the Sorting Brick chose him for House Shavian, right where he'll fit in. A lot YOU know ... it's the Shavian House, not the House Shavian ... damned part time 'poolers ... may as well send the lot of them to Coventry. Joe 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirReal Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 Originally posted by Lurkur: Lurkur vs. SirReallybigshoo Bitter recriminations and accusations: I find it very unusual that the game against a programmer ended early, just as I had about two dozen of his men at the edge of extinction! No doubt he used some hack to get into the program! I can't accuse him of gamey tactics because no tactics of any sort were observable, other than setting up his men on this Gawd-forsaken billiards table and burning up ammo! I am hardly disappointed by this, as he was sponsored by the Shavian House, a corrupt and detestable organization where the term "maneuver" refers to the activities of giving impossibly lopsided set ups to opponents. Ultimately, I join with hundreds of right-minded cesspudlians in blaming Shaw for all of this. Lurk You degenerate piece of lizard droppings! You dare accuse me of having no tactics?? I'll have you know that the terrain you describe as a "billiard table" was full of hills and small patches of forest! In order to get and maintain line-of-sight, no small amount of constant maneuvering was required. You will immediately fashion a horrid setup of your own choosing so that I may humiliate your festering excuse for a carbon-based carcass, and send it to me forthwith. If you beg well, I might even refrain from hacking your computer again. Besides, your collection of necrophiliac coprafagues was too disgusting too look at. [serious] I gather that Lurkur didn't hit the "cease fire" button, though I did. Since there is an auto-surrender, it seems reasonable to assume that an auto-ceasefire from his side is what happened. Can someone confirm that this can indeed happen? [/serious] Now get off this board, you worm-ridden hoarder of smelly underwear! /SirReal 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley: Unless it was a conspiracy of dingos. Which sounds like a pretty good name for our little gaggle of Aussies. Actually, Boo, I quite like that. A Conspiracy of Dingoes. That is our Aussie contingent, now isn't it? Oh, and Boo, I think that for you, any age would be appropriate to be dragged off and eaten by dingoes. Perhaps with a little training and a team effort, we could still get the dusky little devils to make a go of you. </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Mace: Yeh. It's because Kitty looks far more sexier in skin tight leather than you do. Mace Hmm the counter-balancing effect of the two images has left me feeling strangely neutral. Surprising that the horror imparted by an image of Noba in skin tight leather could be dispelled by anything, no matter how pleasant. </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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