Joe Shaw Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 Oh how have the mighty fallen ... WELL ... how HAVE they then? When I ask a question you'd best ANSWER up like a right one or I'll know the reason why so I will! After a two week stint of travelling I'm home again and I must say that the quality of posts here has fallen on hard times. I blame me, well me and lenakonrad with his bloody stupid penguins. But mostly me because I haven't played a turn in forever. So here's my question lads ... why NOT? Why haven't I sent a turn to anyone? Comments invited. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Boggs Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Oh how have the mighty fallen ... WELL ... how HAVE they then? When I ask a question you'd best ANSWER up like a right one or I'll know the reason why so I will! After a two week stint of travelling I'm home again and I must say that the quality of posts here has fallen on hard times. I blame me, well me and lenakonrad with his bloody stupid penguins. But mostly me because I haven't played a turn in forever. So here's my question lads ... why NOT? Why haven't I sent a turn to anyone? Comments invited. Joe Because you're losing all of them? Oh well, here's your chance to get back on the winning track (yeah right). Either send me a set-up or you will find a really nasty stench eminating from your in-box. With all due respect of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 Shaw is it because you are really ducking everyone, and you have no games ongoing? No games=No turns to send, the principle is obvious, even to a lummox, prancing, garlic eating, poxy pillock like yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 Originally posted by Jim Boggs: With all due respect of course.And that would be about, oh say, none? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 Originally posted by Jim Boggs: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Oh how have the mighty fallen ... WELL ... how HAVE they then? When I ask a question you'd best ANSWER up like a right one or I'll know the reason why so I will! After a two week stint of travelling I'm home again and I must say that the quality of posts here has fallen on hard times. I blame me, well me and lenakonrad with his bloody stupid penguins. But mostly me because I haven't played a turn in forever. So here's my question lads ... why NOT? Why haven't I sent a turn to anyone? Comments invited. Joe Because you're losing all of them? Oh well, here's your chance to get back on the winning track (yeah right). Either send me a set-up or you will find a really nasty stench eminating from your in-box. With all due respect of course. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Boggs Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 Okay Big Joe, your set-up is in your in-box. You get three Russians, one rifle, and three bottles of Vodka. I get two Germans, one rifle and one bottle of Schnapps (spelt, not bolded). The map is a small bar somewhere in Russia. Are you sure the only thing sulking is your Graphics card? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 Originally posted by Boo_Radley: <font size=-1>but now I know that you are much, much more. I'm keeping my eye on you</font>The trouble with adulatory hero-worship like that is that it can degenerate so quickly into squalid stalking. I think a little PRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE is called for. Boo_Radley, I call you out. Your fevered mewlings have disgraced this place for too long, vomiting forth from your diseased presence like the stinking lunch of a coprophilic cur. You wretched victim: what catastrophic head wound has brought you to such depths that you prance and cringe in the 'Pool, alternately laughed at and pelted with rotten fruit by squires and SSNs? What syphilitic disease long since spread to your brain causes you to spew these false words before your betters? The time for your prattling existence is over. You and your troops shall be cleansed from the earth, and all that that you have touched will be salted and ploughed under. Your armor shall know terror and futility in the final moments of its short life, and your artillery will bring new meaning to the term "friendly fire" before committing suicide from shame. Your commanders shall run screaming and broken from the field of battle, knowing that they have been left alive only to tell and re-tell the stories of your demise. And your grave will be dug shallow, so that all may dance upon it and feel your spindly bones crunching beneath their feet. In other words, bubba, send me a setup. Something big, so that your shame may be magnified. PS Joe, you suck too. [ May 03, 2003, 01:32 PM: Message edited by: PondScum ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: So here's my question lads ... why NOT?...Comments invited. Joe Just because. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 R Leete, ye're a snivellin' pasty faced sassanach school boy. Saind mae a feckin' 800 point setoop - or Ah'll steal a pet hamster, name at "Roger", blind fold at, an' mock at's shtyupid arse as Ah set at tae sun across a vast tray o' hot rice puddin'. Bastaarrrrddd! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 Originally posted by PondScum: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley: <font size=-1>but now I know that you are much, much more. I'm keeping my eye on you</font>The trouble with adulatory hero-worship like that is that it can degenerate so quickly into squalid stalking. I think a little PRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE is called for. Boo_Radley, I call you out. Your fevered mewlings have disgraced this place for too long, vomiting forth from your diseased presence like the stinking lunch of a coprophilic cur. You wretched victim: what catastrophic head wound has brought you to such depths that you prance and cringe in the 'Pool, alternately laughed at and pelted with rotten fruit by squires and SSNs? What syphilitic disease long since spread to your brain causes you to spew these false words before your betters? The time for your prattling existence is over. You and your troops shall be cleansed from the earth, and all that that you have touched will be salted and ploughed under. Your armor shall know terror and futility in the final moments of its short life, and your artillery will bring new meaning to the term "friendly fire" before committing suicide from shame. Your commanders shall run screaming and broken from the field of battle, knowing that they have been left alive only to tell and re-tell the stories of your demise. And your grave will be dug shallow, so that all may dance upon it and feel your spindly bones crunching beneath their feet. In other words, bubba, send me a setup. Something big, so that your shame may be magnified. PS Joe, you suck too. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 I feel SO much better now. I've completed my turns ... at least the ones I know about and now I can ignore them for another month. I'll probably start feeling guilty in a couple of weeks but by that time I'll be ON THE ROAD and won't be able to do anything about it and so I won't feel so guilty. Joe p.s. Jim Boggs (spelt but not bolded) ... I HAVE your setup ... you may rest assured that I shall assiduously ignore it to the best of my ability. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Boggs Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Joe p.s. Jim Boggs (spelt but not bolded) ... I HAVE your setup ... you may rest assured that I shall assiduously ignore it to the best of my ability. S'okay Big Joe. Just don't drink the Vodka! Save it for the game, okay? Your boys are gonna need it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaylord Focker Posted May 4, 2003 Share Posted May 4, 2003 Today i saw a car with an Iowa licence plate that had a bumper sticker that read, "Don't Mess with Texas". If i were President, i would pull every single millitary and police unit out of Texas, and then give Mexico the ok to "Mess with Texas", that would take care of that pathetic slogan once and for all. [ May 03, 2003, 06:57 PM: Message edited by: Gaylord Focker ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted May 4, 2003 Share Posted May 4, 2003 Originally posted by Gaylord Focker: Today i saw a car with an Iowa licence plate that had a bumper sticker that read, "Don't Mess with Texas". If i were President, i would pull every single millitary and police unit out of Texas, and then give Mexico the ok to "Mess with Texas", that would take care of that pathetic slogan once and for all. Hah! They tried pal ... ever hear tell of San Jacinto? Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaylord Focker Posted May 4, 2003 Share Posted May 4, 2003 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Hah! They tried pal ... ever hear tell of San Jacinto? Joe Well i did a quick search and it brought up this picture below of a "monument" there ......are Texicans trying to overcompensate for something? [ May 03, 2003, 08:03 PM: Message edited by: Gaylord Focker ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted May 4, 2003 Share Posted May 4, 2003 Yes kids, it's time for yet another wonderful, wacky, Boo & AJ Rhymin' ARR A Go-Go!!! AJ's text is italicized. Mine aint. AAR GGHHH!! THE DEMISE OF AJ Part Deux And so again, to battle lads, Boo's forces at the gate! No need to worry tho' it seems, Boo's balls did drop down late! He puffs and rants with rabid breath - whatever is the matter? You'd think he thought, "Oh woe, oh me - mah brains are goanna splatter"! Once again, I wrestle with the Aussie. A lad whose brain is mossy. His taunting is sticking in my craw! It's time to "shock and awe"! It's "Oooh!!" and "Ahhhh!" and "Look at THAT!" My men cheer and exclaim, But doughty Boo is quite upset They pissed out all the flame! Physical damage can be denied, But my use of pyro was cunning. With luck, the men of yours who didn't get fried, Would be picked off as they started running. The only running my lads will be doing is running the betting ring, see We're betting your lot will be screaming and dying much sooner than you think will we. On that last stanza I cringed your rhyme scheme's unhinged But, ignore it, must I As "Onward Men!", I cry. We march through field and bog To up ya, stick a furry brown dog. You call that a rhyme? It was crap, unsublime, You would not know a meter from Peter! For your judgement of time, moving men off the line Is pathetic, you Ohioan bleater!! Babble on, babble on you Oddstralian clown You're king of the jesters, you wear a big crown. But when it comes to tactics, you're naught but a bum! I'll go through you like cholera through a slum! Strike me lucky ya nong! MSN is so lame... You keep blaming ME but it's really YOUR shame! The sooner you dump them, the better we'll be, I will whup you much quicker Yes, better for ME!! Your constant whining is tedious, it's true. But, go ahead and heap your hatred on poor Boo. It's all a cover up, this we know Because your faculties are quite slow. But here I come, marching along, With tons more 'splodey things You ridiculous NONG! Ha! Fire and flame, you try it more, then! You really are clucking like an old hen. Scratching around for some tactical morsel, Bugger me, Boo, your strategy's awful! You cowering ninny, show yourself! You hide in trees like a woodland elf. I'll burn your bum and tan your hide This mile long walk I shant abide! 'Tis for you to find, you flaming NONG, What it is you seek for oh, so long, A sad demise on plains of woe, Is all YOU'LL get, so please press GO! I see some tank, so far away. Can I nail them, this very day? Shouldn't be hard. Easy enough Cuz I'm a German and I'm real tough! I'm sick to death of your e-mail's "flame" How do you expect to win this game? Tossing matches galore is not the way, Your firebugs will surely PAY!! I see this map is mostly swamp. It makes it hard to gambol and romp. You must have created this little jewel. For only Aussie Jeff could be this cruel. Indeed, you're right. Upon a whim, I chose to make this very dim, A battle set to maudlin mood, You'll find no uplift here, young dude! Akk! First blood. My Marder's hit! I'll teach you now, you hoary twit! You've committed a tactical blunder. Now sit and hear my Armor THUNDER! The only "thunder" you're likely to hear is the sound of BIG HE, blasting your ear... As your menschen are munchen by rounds big and small And your AFV's whittled away, one and all.... Like dominoes knocked down by a child, Your aim is true, my shots go wild. It's not looking good for my stalwart men They might all die in this Godless fen. A "Godless" fen, how dare you, Boo That fen God's Own, now go on - shoo! Your cowardly curs drive tinfoil cars, You'd more success at assaulting Mars! The lengths you go to to rhyme! Is certainly becoming a crime. Cease and desist For I'm getting quite pissed You trench hiding gun piece of slime! "What Ho! A bug!" cries Boo at length, what lengths he goes to win. I hide my men in trenches deep, yet somehow 'tis a sin? His hoary cry is heard all 'oer, "Behold! A gamey git!" But quaffing quietly in my beer, I laugh - at "Boo, The Twit!" Oh, AJ. Oh AJ, you sour old gnu! Hiding guns deep in trenches is gamey, it's true. But, smiling I say, "Oh, I'll find a way." And eventually, your time will come due. "If you gnu what I gnu", the old saying goes, You'd throw up your hands with disgust.. Your men run away on stubbed tippy toes, And your tank hulks are turning to rust. FINE! Says I with a shout! I'll do it without tanks, you LOUT! I've got men by the yard, You butt full of lard. (But give me a moment, I'm in the midst of a pout.) Eye spy mit mein liddle eye, a bumptious and braggarding Boo, Who swaggers and sends his poor men to die, Then nervously cacks himself, too! Oh Woe is YOU! For you've angered Boo. And I'll tell you true, That this day you shall rue! (You fish-eyed foo!) I don't know why I bother, The end game's not in doubt, Your lackeys' - cannon fodder.. You're heading for a rout!!! I hear you bleat, "Watch Boo's defeat!" And although I'll admit, it doesn't look rosy, I'll still come in close and tweak your nosey! Tweakin' nosey? Ya flamin' doozie! Yer yankin' yer chain agin! Yer gonna git whupped, like a two bit floozie, Yer "strategie's" really a sin! Having so much fun with thin skinned armor. Makes me want to quit and become a farmer. With cows and chickens I could be quite bossy. I've had enough experience with a certain Aussie. I'm not a bossie Aussie, It's plain for all to see.. Just Boo-Boo's plain ineptitude, in fighting lil' ol' me. For attacking empty spaces is the dumbest thing I saw, It's almost just as crazy as that flamin' idjit Shaw! Can't function well right now, I think I have the flu. I gave some orders and moved some stuff, that's all that I could do. I'm going now to have some soup and a bit of a lie down. But I'll be back upon my feet and trash your arse, you clown. "A flu, a flu, I HAVE THE FLU!", Boo moaned in mournful jest... "I caud id cuddlig a snufflig Gnu, with vigour, vim and zest!!" "Geez, bugger me...." I thought upon reflecting his demise, To kiss a snuffling Gnu I thought, is very like - unwise!!! Well, I'll be stuffed... it's really true. That snufflig Gnu gave Boo the floo, The poor lad's dose is ruddig free, He feels so bad he's 'voiding me! It's not my nose that's running free. (I'll give you one guess, you won't need three.) I sit here tenderly and often moan, "I wish I could wipe my arse with a Sno-Cone." "An ass, an ass, my Kingdom for an ASS!" Cries Boo with "Ring of Fire", A movement which has come to pass, Doth cause him so much ire!! But, oddly enough, dear Aussie Jeff, I thought most of you when I was in pain. The grimace and cursing I produced Must have resembled you when using your brain. Jesus wept Boo, that wasn't a rhyme, In fact I'd say it's the floo, That's given your head a distorted time, So FIX it - go stick in the loo! "Oh this is rich!" Boo exclaims to all the gathered few. The Aussie git, he hates my rhymes, He thinks they smell like poo! While I've suffered through his fractured prose And heroically kept my lunch. He beats me down And spins me aroun' Well, gee, Jeff, Thanks a bunch! A bunch of fives? Or flowers? *sniff* That perfume - so uplifting? Hold still whilst Aussie gives you *BIFF!* Your troops need no more shifting! Still, as this game (or is it SHAME for Boo?) winds to a close, He'll no doubt ponder, over yonder, *sniff* "Gawd, should change mah clothes!" And if foolishly he challenge yet again his Aussie Master, Poor Boo will need a suitcase full of Yankee sticking plaster! For though valiant his effort, and no matter what his pluck, The way Boo plays could never, EVER, have enough "good luck"! Go ahead and laugh ya sod, You think you're such hot stuff! I decided to go easy on you And not to play too tough. I didn't want you to cry, you see. To moan and wail and sob To throw a tantrum and pound your fists And screw up your hoary gob. "Why?" You ask, would I do such a thing For poor undeserving you? It's the way I play my games. It's what makes me Boo. What makes you Boo is quite unique, You have a certain "flavour", It's fun to see you deep in pique, A quality I savour.... You win, you win, you win, you win! I scream out into the night! I wanted to give you something to remember, A gob-smacking good fight! But twas not to be. Not in the cards. Sorry, we're closed. You're gamey, gamey, gamey gamey! And me? Well, I'm HOSED! "HOSED" is quite a fitting term, Your command was really "wet" At least from me you really learned Your not a poet - yet! A last Uraaah! from me this time, This game I put to bed, It's lost it's gloss, it's shiny shine, Au revoire', AJ is dead..... RIP. (In case it wasn't apparent, by hacking into the game engine and giving himself stealth tanks and phase cannons, he was able to beat me.) [ May 03, 2003, 08:33 PM: Message edited by: Boo_Radley ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest konrad Posted May 4, 2003 Share Posted May 4, 2003 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: I'm home again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted May 4, 2003 Share Posted May 4, 2003 Pondscum whiles away the hours, receiving golden showers, and consorting with the bums...I'd be daft as Joe Shaw, and as crusty as old Noba if I only was deranged... The City! Ah, yes, with its bustle, its commerce, its thousand and one stories burning to be whispered into the Sultan's ear. It's streets filled with a heady mixture of people; hot, cheeky office worker babes playing with their hair and casting sidelong looks at well-dressed young men with cell phones and 'power' ties. Black guys in starter jackets shouting 'you fine' at young asian women who gigle behind their hands with their girlfriends and pretend not to hear. Young hispanics making rude gestures to each other and laughing, speaking in quick, staccato Spanish. None of them with so much as a glance to spare for a short, heavyset, unshaven figure in old, sloppy clothes who stalks through their midst, drinking it all in. I decided Nicollet Mall was too busy for what I wanted, and Hennepin was too likely to result in physical confrontation. So I made my way over to Marquette Avenue, started at the north end, and headed south. I'd spent the night before working on my rap. I was pretty sure that coming up with interesting, possibly portentous gibberish on the fly would be a lot harder to do than it sounded, so I'd spent a lot of time reading over old posts by Mensch and Meeks, as well as posts by Pawbroon to give it that cosmopolitan edge. Walking down the street acting insane is a lot harder than you'd think. I'd always thought I'd be a natural at it. But when it came time to do it, I was suddenly all self-conscious and nervous. I walked for almost two blocks, and couldn't manage more than an occasional, mumbled comment. I'm pretty sure the people around me simply thought I was trying to remember an address, or something. All my carefully prepared soliloquies evaporated. By the third block I was about ready to admit the whole thing had been a stupid idea, and go have a beer somewhere. In desperation, I fell back on suddenly chanting out tried and true catch phrases. "Make your time! Now is your destruction! Fix, or do somefink! I pissed him off on purpose to make him show his teeth!" People stopped and looked at me strangely. One woman said, 'what are you playing at, asshole?' One young guy laughed and said 'All your base are, belong to us.' I was too disjoint, to obscure. And clearly I was too desperate. I felt too much like what I was: a guy trying to act strange on the street, rather than a strange street guy. I skulked off down a side street, then wandered for a while until I ended up by the plaza around the Government Center, where I glumly sat on a wall, and tried to decide what to do next. Well, they say if you want to write, you need to read. Read people you admire; not so you can ape them, but as the means of finding your own voice. I realized that I needed to understand what it was I was trying to do. I walked back to Hennepin Avenue, quietly this time, to look for a teacher. Next: If You Meet the Buddha On the Road, Copy Him (But Somewhere Out of His Sight) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest konrad Posted May 4, 2003 Share Posted May 4, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: I felt too much like what I was: a guy trying to act strange on the street, rather than a strange street guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted May 4, 2003 Share Posted May 4, 2003 Isn't life strange Isn't life cruel Penguins from Konrad And poetry from Boo Questions from Shaw Fill no one with awe there ought to be clowns... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest konrad Posted May 4, 2003 Share Posted May 4, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: Fill no one with awe there ought to be clowns... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest konrad Posted May 4, 2003 Share Posted May 4, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: Isn't life strange Isn't life cruel Penguins from Konrad And poetry from Boo Questions from Shaw Fill no one with awe there ought to be clowns... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted May 4, 2003 Share Posted May 4, 2003 [... and from the mist-clad paddock something grey and heavy can be seen waving pom-poms in a ra-ra skirt] Go, Seany-babe, go! We await the roving Ubergnome's reports of life and its secrets (knee-high) from Miniapplelot with *sniff* the wee fella's customary wit and flair... *sniff* or is that flare?... bother, I shouldn't want to encourage the ignition of inflammable exhaust gases in the financial district... well, not without the attendance of the emergency services and a good dry cleaner... so one MUST [wags a MUST sort of tail] STAY AWAY FROM YER SPROUTS. Wouldn't want yer financial types flared. No. Not good. Yeknod [ May 04, 2003, 02:10 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted May 4, 2003 Share Posted May 4, 2003 ... now yer financial types griddled and bar-b-qued over a roaring, gas-fueled open stove, well *sniff* that's altogether different... skewered into financial-type kebabs and marinated with yer best, smokey Texan sauce to reveal yer carrot and yer turnip... no, we don't want flaring, we want the searing, white heat of open grilling... Yeknod Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted May 4, 2003 Share Posted May 4, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: Isn't life strange Isn't life cruel Penguins from Konrad And poetry from Boo Questions from Shaw Fill no one with awe there ought to be clowns... Isn't life strange ? A turn of the page To be like before Can we ask for more ? Noba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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