Seanachai Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Yes, yes, file in quietly, take your seats, and then be quiet. We're after attempting to Crown a King here in the Thread of threads. Attempting, you see, because...well, there's some controversy. A bit of disagreement. Well, actually, Civil War. But, as I've always said, 'better a civil war than a rude one'. So, if you're looking for some sort of spectacle, then you've come to the right place. If you're hoping for some sort of ill-mannered punch-up with rather unimaginative name-calling, then there's always the General Forum. Normally, of course, you'd be subjected to a 'Reading of the Rules, Both Right and Proper'. But they've been suspended, you see, while we figure out what they're going to be, and who'll determine that. So, shhhh! The ceremony continues... The King’s See: Also it has been ordained that on the day of the King’s coronation in the great hall of Westminster, that the King’s see [shall] be royally ordained and dressed with cloths, cushions and tapestries of gold and silk. Alroight, sod this for a lark. The chances of us coming up with gold and silk are about as likely as that King Meeks will go to heaven. R Leete! Here’s a hammer and nails. Put up this stack of BFC artwork, Rolling Stones posters, and this black velvet picture of dogs playing poker. The Pulpit: Also in Westminster church [there] must be a pulpit with {grees?} on every side. These must be fair and arrayed with cushions and cloths of silk and gold about the ground of both. What the hell is that all about?! Alright, Leete, smear the ‘dogs playing poker’ picture with grease. Bloody English. The King’s Throne: Also in that pulpit shall be a royal throne and a royal see {?} in which the king shall sit. [This] shall also be royally arrayed with cushions and cloths of gold and silk. Cue the bobcat to bring in the Port-a-Potty! Here, Malakovski, make yourself useful, and put these…er, ‘royal men’s magazines’ and this, um, ‘regal fake monkey fur seat liner’ on the royal… ‘see’…(yes, the seat, you pillock! What the hell else can they be talking about? Bloody English...) The Abbot of Westminster shall inform the King: Also it is to wit that the Abbot of Westminster shall for two days before the coronation inform the king and queen of diverse observances that they shall do, warning them also to shrive and to cleanse their consciences before the holy annoiting. And if the abbot is dead or away in a foreign country ‘or leefully lette’ then shall another monk of the church be chosen by the convent [of monks] who shall fulfill and be in the abbot’s stead during the coronation. Alright…I’m starting to lose my sense of humour about this whole sodding ritual. Have we got a bloody Abbot of anything? Wait a minute… ‘if the abbot is dead or away…or ‘leefully lette’…R Leete, now is thine hour! If you’re not ‘leefully lette’, then I don’t know who is. I Knight you, make you the ‘Abbot of the Drains’, and hereupon obtest King Meeks to ‘walk right, and walk in the light’. Oh, and get ready for the ‘annointing’. Chances are, you’re going to earn your sudden wealth of titles, laddie. [ January 20, 2003, 03:14 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Ok, Seanachai, you've done a fine job of researching the proper coronation rituals... So, it seems to me that you are the right person for the job of determining the rituals involved in installing an archbishop. Or, if you'd rather, I, in my angelic role, will do the deed 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Seanachai (dolt), We can't make Joe the Archbishop of the Cesspool! Historically, that position is appointed by the crown. We need something that falls outside secular authority... Pope on a rope for instance 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 *stampedes in* Ok, I'm here to ensure that riff raff and *takes a quick look at the attendence list* and ....err...ummm... lowly scum aren't allowed ... umm *looks at list again*. *sigh* Never mind. Where's the beer by the way? Mace 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Originally posted by Mace: Where's the beer by the way? MaceAnd the Whiskey! I was promised great vats and crates of whiskey for going aloing with this foolishness. Dammit. Peng 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 eenie meenie moldy Joe woos a cesspool by his flow if it's heavy let him know teeny weeny yellow polka dot bi kini 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 ROIIGHT In a completely unrelated part of this civil/not so civil war. I come to do my DUTY. Yes, duty, you know ours is not to reason why... and all that. Therefore snarker, I bring the challenge of the anointed armored car to you. Like so many before you, you have but two choices. You can either accept this challenge and face my Romanian/Hungarian/Italian BUT NOT FINNISH armoured cars, tankettes, trucks or carriers on the field of battle. OR you can surrender like the half witted baboon wannabe you truly are. Should you chose to fight, I can promise you drive by shootings that would make certain gangs in various metropolitan areas in the US green of envy, yes, I can promise you lots of gnashing of teeth. BUT if you should chose to surrender without a fight, I can promise you that you will be contacted by the French president as they'll probably want you as their new commander in chief. THEREFORE I smack you in the face like thus *smack* and I throw the glove down before your feet like that *throw* You can expect a setup in the mail. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund: THEREFORE I smack you in the face like thus *smack* and I throw the glove down before your feet like that *throw* .Oh I do enjoy the wave of emotion such royal events produce. *looks at list* Sorry, I don't see you registered. And you owe feality to....? Must know so I can either turf you out, or point out your seat (which no doubt will be down the back, in the corner, where you will be spending your time during the ceremony fighting with the various dogs over discarded bones) Mace [ January 20, 2003, 04:16 AM: Message edited by: Mace ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 20, 2003 Author Share Posted January 20, 2003 Originally posted by Mace: *looks at list* Sorry, I don't see you registered. And you owe feality to....? Must know so I can either turf you out, or point out your seat (which no doubt will be down the back, in the corner, where you will be spending your time during the ceremony fighting with the various dogs over discarded bones) MaceI think he belongs to Lars, actually. I believe he was 'elevated' in 'The Thread That Died'. Some fine stuff, I might add. His willingness to ignore all obstacles, distractions, or even normal bodily functions has become a kind of byword for extremely fixated, demented Squire behaviour. Let this one go, er...'Grue', (where does f'ing Meeks come up with this stuff?) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Originally posted by Mace: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund: THEREFORE I smack you in the face like thus *smack* and I throw the glove down before your feet like that *throw* .Oh I do enjoy the wave of emotion such royal events produce. *looks at list* Sorry, I don't see you registered. And you owe feality to....? Must know so I can either turf you out, or point out your seat (which no doubt will be down the back, in the corner, where you will be spending your time during the ceremony fighting with the various dogs over discarded bones) Mace</font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 My loyalty and my sword/broom/whatever unworthy ability to preform various task I might have, belongs to Lars. *edit just to impress Denise Richards in case she is lurking on these boards. [ January 20, 2003, 06:48 AM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted January 20, 2003 Author Share Posted January 20, 2003 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Seanachai (dolt), We can't make Joe the Archbishop of the Cesspool! Historically, that position is appointed by the crown.Berli, you sodding idjit, we havent' had a Crown. So what is it about the 'separation of Church and State that leads to an almost psychotic conflict between the Spiritually Anointed and the Secular Authority' that you don't understand? [ January 20, 2003, 04:39 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stalin's Organ Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Seperation of Church and State? What State? Around here the only State is a permanent state of insanity. Which seems like the same condition that any Church that'd dare be seen inside these precincts would have to be in. so how can you seperate the insane from the truly crazy?? [ January 20, 2003, 05:11 AM: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Originally posted by Noba: Mace : Havn't you got some sheep to shag...or sumfinkThat goes without saying, but the trappings of my new royal position (allocated by his very soon to be Royal Highness Meeks) demands that I now arrange seating and on the odd occassion, drag my knuckles along the ground, grunt and drool. Ergo, the sheep will have to wait. *looks at list* Fourth row, left hand side. Mace 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Originally posted by MrPeng: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Mace: Where's the beer by the way? MaceAnd the Whiskey! I was promised great vats and crates of whiskey for going aloing with this foolishness. Dammit. Peng</font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: Let this one go, er...'Grue', (where does f'ing Meeks come up with this stuff?)A very old text based rpg 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: Berli, you sodding idjit, we havent' had a Crown. So what is it about the 'separation of Church and State that leads to an almost psychotic conflict between the Spiritually Anointed and the Secular Authority' that you don't understand?*Grumble* Still think Pope on a Rope is a better title for him 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egbert Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Originally posted by Stalin's Organ: Seperation of Church and State? so how can you seperate the insane from the truly crazy??Shhh. stop babbling about. Sir, if I may, it's quite obvious. Simply refer to their hats. Now, down in front, we're trying to watch the ceremony. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 So ... I'm to be bought off then? A glitzy new title, new role, new powers no doubt? You know Seanachai you never did answer my question. How much Silver DOES it take to purchase the soul of the CessPool old friend? What is the going rate these days to betray your comrades? Well ... IT WON'T WORK! Did you honestly think that I'd be tempted by a new title? Did you really believe that I'd forsake the Traditions of the MBT, those same traditions YOU are supposed to hold sacred? Or perhaps you actually believe the nonsense that your new Inquistor General MrSpkr spouted eh? That it was really all about ME and my place here? IT IS ABOUT Meeks (nb)! Have no doubt in your minds, now or forever, that it has always been about Meeks(nb). Bring him back to the CessPool, by all means, give him my job if you like, if I've been failing or, more likely, if I've been SUCCEEDING too well. But he has been gone too long. He knows nothing of the Traditions of the CessPool and cares nothing for them. No Rules he says! No more SSNs he says! What's next ... no Knights, blanket challenges, chaos, ruin and children eating sweets before 9:00 AM? Well I won't have it, I shall fight, to the end if necessary to preserve the CessPool that I know and love and to protect this community from your whims. However ... I have searched my soul lo these many nights. I have agonized and beat my breast (damnit Bauhaus are you incapable of seeing a dramatic moment). I have finally determined that I can NOT be the cause of CessPooler being set against CessPooler nor of House being pitting against House. If I love the CessPool as I say I do, if it is indeed not about Me but about the CessPool then I have no recourse. I shall, effective immediately, resign my posts of Knight Champion of the MBT, Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread and CessPool Drain Commissioner. I shall now take the title, since there are none competent to bestow it upon me, of ... Outlaw Justicar of the CessPool. I fully realize that the venal and corrupt Olde Ones, aided by their pit bull Insquisitor General will likely strip from me the title of Knight of the CessPool and declare me anathema ... so be it. In light of that, I cannot ask those who have sworn to The One The True CessPool to walk in my path. I cannot, in all good concsience ... consicne ... consisence (give me a break, I'm having an emotional moment here) ask them to give up what I have given up. Nor can I ... {sniff} ... ask the most loyal Vadr to accompany me into the wilderness. Young Vadr I free you from your Squireship and allow you the option of returning to the CessPool as a Serf. I've no doubt that your wit and wisdom will shortly attract another Knight who will take you to Squire. But I will NOT leave the CessPool either. I may be hunted like a wild animal ... but wild animals have been known to turn on the hunters. I may have my name blasphemed from one corner of the CessPool to another ... but the PEOPLE will decide my virtue. I may never cause this ... king ... to fall from his throne ... BUT I CAN TRY! Let no minion of this false, this Pretender Apostate have a moment of sound sleep. Let no one espousing his cause travel without glancing back now and then. Let no one who does not STAND FOR THE CESSPOOL believe that it is ended with a crown atop the head of a pretender. I even have a theme song: Justicar, Justicar, riding through the night, Justicar, Justicar, fighting for the right, Outlaw by day, Justicar by night, Justicar, Justicar, Justicar. Justicar, Justicar, where will he strike next, Justicar, Justicar, Inquistor is vexed. The King he will fall, the reign it will ... uh ... stall. Justicar, Justicar, Justicar. More verses to come. Pity that Disney's not around anymore, they could do a series. You know, like The Scarecrow or The Swamp Fox ... I think Sean Connery to play me ... the guy who does Gollum could be Meeks (nb), no extra makeup required. I do hope you enjoy the coronation, here's hoping that nothing ... untoward should spoil it. Oh and please Olde Ones get a good night's sleep ... it's the last you'll have for some time. I STAND FOR THE CESSPOOL! Joe p.s. Out of town through Thursday, sorry about the turns, busy busy busy and this nonsense hasn't helped. [ January 20, 2003, 10:18 AM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 What's all this? How about a Reader's Digest version (or more appropriately perhaps, a Soap Opera Digest version) of what is going on here. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 My Liege, My Liege, I beg you to reconsider. Take the title, it is a worthy one and will provide many opportunities to undermine, err support, yeah that's it, support the Apostate King Meeks and lead him to the paths of righteousness. Think Papal Infallibility, think The Inquisition, think Cardinal Richelieu.... Not to mention the Nunneries. SSN Hint Of The Day: Brag a lot. Now sod off. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: I shall, effective immediately, resign my posts of Knight Champion of the MBT, Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread and CessPool Drain Commissioner. I shall now take the title, since there are none competent to bestow it upon me, of ... Outlaw Justicar of the CessPool. I fully realize that the venal and corrupt Olde Ones, aided by their pit bull Insquisitor General will likely strip from me the title of Knight of the CessPool and declare me anathema ... so be it. Jo Xia, you were always anathema to me, so that much at least hasn't changed. By declaring yourself Outlaw, you realize that you are, in essence, a ronin, and since there is only one ronin Kanigget of the 'Pool, you must, ipso facto, be subordinate to him. Who is this person? you ask. Search your memories, he is none other than Slapdragon. On your own head be it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw: I shall, effective immediately, resign my posts of Knight Champion of the MBT, Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread and CessPool Drain Commissioner. I shall now take the title, since there are none competent to bestow it upon me, of ... Outlaw Justicar of the CessPool. I fully realize that the venal and corrupt Olde Ones, aided by their pit bull Insquisitor General will likely strip from me the title of Knight of the CessPool and declare me anathema ... so be it. Jo Xia, you were always anathema to me, so that much at least hasn't changed. By declaring yourself Outlaw, you realize that you are, in essence, a ronin, and since there is only one ronin Kanigget of the 'Pool, you must, ipso facto, be subordinate to him. Who is this person? you ask. Search your memories, he is none other than Slapdragon. On your own head be it.</font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 I do hereby turn in my badge and spurs (I'll take those yarbles back, too, thankyouverymuch) and divest myself of the title "Knight." I join the "Outlaw Joesy Justicar Gang" and make this pledge: He will have no sleep till the one who calls himself Inquisitor General do forsake that title and all its trappings! Oh, and we stop this 'king' ridiculosity too. Ahh, much better. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Originally posted by Panzer Leader: I do hereby turn in my badge and spurs (I'll take those yarbles back, too, thankyouverymuch) and divest myself of the title "Knight." I join the "Outlaw Joesy Justicar Gang" This should make you sleep better at night Jo. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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