Joe Shaw Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>In short, the above is a masterpiece of poolaranimy. Study it. Learn from it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Better still, ignore it totally. There are SO many things wrong with this that it surpasses belief. The hour is late and my temper is not good so I'll not excise this tumor as it should be, but suffice it to say Dalem, with luck, with a great deal of luck, we MAY forget ... eventually ... your hubris, but we shall never forget your insult to the CessPool. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: In ONE TURN, I lost 6 tanks and 2 HTs while he lost only ONE tank! Now obviously, Bauhaus couldn't have that kind of a result without ... shall we just say assistance?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> As I hear it, 5 of your tanks were killed by a single MkIV <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>So Berli ... been a little slow in the soul department these days?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Not at all. With Peng as father Confessor, I expect a windfall. One of my better plots if I do say so myself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>As I hear it, 5 of your tanks were killed by a single MkIV<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now Berli do YOU really want to discuss large numbers of tanks being lost for little loss on the other side? As you are the Prince of DARKNESS, I would have thought the memory of a certain DARK night with German armor being destroyed left and right would have remained in your thoughts, but perhaps you've expunged that particular memory. In any case, I couldn't check which vehicles were responsible, but if true it just adds more veracity to my story. And, apropos of nothing at all, what were you talking to Bauhaus about, as he was the only one with that information? Verifying the contract terms were we? Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer: Perhaps you are just Mr Spkr many tired years down the road... Jake<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The very thought reduces my will to live to naught... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng: All BBS posters are of course welcome to come in and be treated like idiots. I need a drink Peng<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Spoken like a true Father Confessor! Berli's right, Peng, my merry drunken little man. Ever since the three of us first created the Universe and went into the desert to await the arrival of the human beings (and what an up and down experience that's been), it's been pretty much a given that 1 Storyteller/Myth Maker, combined with 1 Chaotic Spirit of Evil Existing Since the Dawn of Time, pretty much overrules 1 Drunken and Vitriolic Lunatic who constantly plays CM against a being he calls 'Elvis', hating everyone, and capable of both incredible acts of complete stupidity, combined with a rather pleasantly odd prose style that denigrates the very concept of humanity . Now, lads and lassies, Peng had the...how to describe it...ah, yes, absolute freaking idiocy to send me a turn recently chortling over the 'concept' that, despite the decision of Berli and myself, the clear choice of the Thread was that Mensch be Father Confessor. I ask you, dear folk, have you ever in all your puff heard such outright sodding foolishness? (I mean, outside of Mensch's posts, and we can't really hold him to blame for them, as a sad dependency on Rhino tranquillizer would affect anyone's world view). Proclaim it: Peng is the Thread's 'Father Confessor'. By any analysis, he is chosen, most fitted, and pre-destined. Point the First: Peng is an obvious disapproving drunkard: judgemental, opinionated, and vicious. As such, he is the perfect receptacle for what we pour out of our boots. Now, who could tell their failings and darkest and most loathsome personal acts to some enlightened and truly wonderful human being? Partake of this scenario: Dalai Lama: Allow the flowering of compassion, oh best beloved. I touch your consciousness, and take within me all that is most good in you. The beauty of the world is not unmade by anger, and the justice of love flows to fill the void left by the darkness of unrighteousness. Poster Entering the Peng Challenge Thread For the First Time: Er, that's...well, that's just brilliant, Dalai. But...umm...you know, there was this time...last week...when I...well...when I watched my sister undress through the window. Again. And I bought King Tigers and Jagdtigers in a PBEM. And told my opponent it was a Mechanized battle. Oh, and I once ate my neighbour's cat. Worse, I served it to him disguised as rabbit. Oh, and in a final act of darkness, I served it with a cheap 'blush' wine. The Result: The Dalai Lama, one of the Greatest Spiritual Leaders of Our Time, resolves to never accept a dinner invitation from you again unless it's BYOB. He also insists on extensive rules and definitions before your next PBEM. He uses a cell phone to check on the status of his pets. Your shame is complete. You pray to St. Bauhaus. The Result Had You Confessed to Peng: He describes to you in extensive detail the women he thinks are 'hot'. He speculates about what they might be like in bed. Most of them are people you've never heard of. He pulls out a stack of worn polaroids of women, most of them naked and taken unawares. One of them turns out to actually be your sister. He smears barbecue sauce on one of Elvis's cats in a speculative manner. During his diatribe he keeps pressing a variety of ales and cheap whiskeys on you. Point the Second: Peng does not wish to be the Confessor of the Peng Challenge Thread. Well, Duh! Anyone who wanted to hear the confessions of the Cesspoolers is so bloody sick that if they were hung on a cross next to (members of the main Board, names edited out to preserve a sense of propriety and avoid actual personal attacks), you'd be hard pressed to determine who you wanted to die first. Only tell your sins to people who either don't give a damn, or who recoil in horror at the very idea. They're at least being honest with you. As has been stated before: no one who wants the job can be trusted to perform it. Point Final: Peng despises and loathes the Peng Challenge Threads. He has repeatedly begged, threatened, and offered me bribes to kill off the Peng Threads. It is only fitting that the man not only continue to suffer under their existence, but that he be forced to deal with the members' rather disturbing spiritual lives. I might have taken a more merciful view if the useless sod wasn't currently about to defeat me in our latest PBEM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted May 11, 2001 Author Share Posted May 11, 2001 Yes, yes... True all of those. Peng! In Pool Cess' Sins there are French Sins. Those are graphical in accomplishment and for sooth, need to be told. Take heed now and you shall be entertained beyond your wildest booze induced frenzy. And, errr, I do have also those yellowing Polaroids. What say you we set a private FTP site and swap some? Father? Uhh Dad? Dark Vador? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon: Dark Vador? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I thought Peng was Obi Wan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka: I thought Peng was Obi Wan.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> no Peng is Jar Jar Binks... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Fox Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>MrFox you foul, lurking, groggy swine! It is indeed a damn fine pleasure for you to appear in a Peng thread.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I can assure you Peng that the pleasure is all yours. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I will personally send a cheque for $5.00 american to the pooler who can dig up my Very First Post as MrPeng. The first to re-post it here will be sent the prize. Any takers?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Why is it that this brings to mind a paleantologist searching for copralites? <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Now go away.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> A suggestion I will follow with pleasure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 ok.. fine.. PENG is a confessor. I blame my campaign manager PooBroom for my failure, why? hes French, nuf said my Vice Pres OFAG I blame too since he can't speak english or is constantly drunk.. but being scottish thats a norm isn't it? I'm off ... smell you later. Plus I need to add Seanachpo is against me since he is loosing in our game, foo! hes doing a wonderfull up the middle attack.. it makes it easyer now since i was flanking him anyhow... let the shooting of bratwurst eaters and sauerkraut poofers begin!! [ 05-11-2001: Message edited by: mensch ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 YEAH! What Mensch said, only doubly so, with knobs on! "Hey Grego, pass me the bowl, its my turn to pack" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted May 11, 2001 Author Share Posted May 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Mensched: No, Peng is Jar Jar Binks...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Nope. Seanachai is... Horrible little bugger that one. I should hence profit from that On Air time to highlight the fact that while PBEMing I had eMails so funny it was worth playing them all along. Most of the time you have those Uhhh? Die Hehe! when playing Boardees (IE non Poolers) even if AllBlackNZ sound just like that when he is 100% in it... Some of those eMails are gems even more than what's posted in here. It's a sunny friday in Paris and I'm getting sentimental. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon: It's a sunny friday in Paris and I'm getting sentimental.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> does that mean your going to bathe this month? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetherat Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 So, this wheel of deprecation and disease perpetually turns ad infinitum. I would like to point out that although I dip in and out on an irregular basis (if only to point and snigger), I have become overwhelmed by matters outside of this contrite e-world and I find it increasingly difficult to figuratively poke and prod you vegetables into some sort of response. That said, I offer some sort of update on situations currently at hand. Please be seated. Chuppy, if he indeed still loiters in these parts, is conducting a static version of the great Trafalgar. I have him well in range and I'm currently conducting a terrific broadside volley into the very lungs of his defence. I expect a complete collapse of his entire body of troops, somewhat like a 17 year old having his first pint of best and emerging into fresh air. Iskandy continues to swarm his plagues of infantry into my well-prepared defences, only to be torn to ribbons by my entrenched defenders of chastity and hygene. Aquine Perplexity and I have hardly started this monster of open canvas but, knowing that flukey best boy of the Devil himself, he will probably come out smelling of roses wearing my guts as a panty hose. Wildwhelp has sent to me the most dire of situations to begin a battle. Naturally, it can only have come from that Bastard of angels BoilingTurd. I'm still trying to work this one out, mainly to avoid being fertilizer on turn one. PetalNZ is an infuriating squib of a bloke. No matter what I do to break through to the flags, he pre-empts my every move and blocks me off with an army of vehicles and men. Obviously, he cheats like no one else and has cracked my password. Bastard. Margot is more sparrodic than the most severest of epileptic cases known to medical science. One week I get a flurry of turns, the next it's as still as a summer afternoon by the river. We seem to be in a stalemate situation right now but, due to my cunning and speed, I occupy all the flags. Wonderful. It's been a while since I looked at my files and, at this moment of recollection, that is my complete repetoire. You may, if you wish, place an official complaint that you have been omitted and I will rectify the situation immediately. Now please, carry on about your business. StR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by stevetherat: Aquine Perplexity and I have hardly started this monster of open canvas but, knowing that flukey best boy of the Devil himself, he will probably come out smelling of roses wearing my guts as a panty hose.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Do you know how difficult it is to chop intestines into a serviceable pair of fishnet hose? You practically have to resharpen your pinking shears every other snip. But I can save that for turn three or four--in the meantime SEND ME A FECKIN' TURN! (Unless it's actually my turn, in which case, REMIND ME TO SEND A FECKIN' TURN!) In other pre-weekend UPDATES: Seanachai is being very encouraging as he kills all my attackers. He can afford to be--he bought mines. Mines! MINES! Invective is insufficient, so I'll leave you all to contemplate his perfidy with no further descriptions. (MINES!!) I'm fumbling around in Leeo's spoiling barrage and whittling away his defenders one by one. Hopefully I'll finish before I run out of either time or attackers. DekeFentle bought pillboxes. He's probably also bought mines. MINES! I'm beginning to develop a grudging respect for Wildman. No, not for his tactical ability--I'm currently humiliating him by killing and disabling his armor with a legion of spitwad-wielding schoolgirls (down, Stuka!)--but because he plays CM at work. I think he's trying to get me fired. Gamey bastard. Goanna is MIA. Either that or the Bedu tribesman who delivers their snail-mailed Internet packets out there in Oman has taken the week off. Or maybe it's still my turn, I can't recall. In any case, PLS FIX OR DO SOMEFINK. Which brings us to Croda. YOU ARE ON THE WAY TO DESTRUCTION. YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME. Ahem. Send me a feckin' turn. Ya brainless prat. Woot. Agua Perdido Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: It is only fitting that the man not only continue to suffer under their existence, but that he be forced to deal with the members' rather disturbing spiritual lives.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> In total agreement my dear Seanachai, never give the job to some one who wants it (besides it will so irritate him)..as for the eternal suffering and damnation (apart from Berli's pervue) rather reminds me of Hyperion .... Father Peng eternally condemend by his cruxiform to hear our eternal babbling..now who should fill the role of the Shrike? BTW FYI etc...real world™ stuff intrudes, expect no turns until mon/tues. Bugger off , that is all. [ 05-11-2001: Message edited by: jd ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 need sleep gack [ 05-11-2001: Message edited by: jd ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jd: need sleep gack<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I pity all those who are dependent on sleep gacks. My poor old granny had to use a sleep gack in her later years, and the noise and the bruises made a lasting impression. Prior to engaging the gack and tightening all those straps, could you please return my one little setup turn, so that I can at least ponder the map while your therapy continues? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: And, apropos of nothing at all, what were you talking to Bauhaus about, as he was the only one with that information? Verifying the contract terms were we?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> It must have slipped your notice... Bauhaus, Moriarty and I all work for the same company... so, they are employees in Hell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch: no Peng is Jar Jar Binks...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now, I loath Peng with every fiber of my being, but that was a little harsh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Phan Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 Sad Day in Phanland: The phine phorces of our phit and phriendly Phillies Phan phell today to the phragging phecking phairy Elvis. Read em and weep. Scenario - Exit Stage Right by Rune Allied Attacker (our hero) 89 Casualties 19 Vehicles Knocked out Men OK: 267 Score 18 (I wuz robbed) Axis Defender (boo wanker boo) 132 Casualties 2 Mortars Destroyed 14 Vehicles Knocked out Men OK: 115 Score 82 I had fun and I have to say "good game" to Elvis. *************************** Lorak Please note yet another loss for me and another win for Elvis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 Hmmm... I love the fact that I can be 100% absent from these forums for days and weeks, yet my persona is so irrascibly ground into the muck of this Pool that you contine to use my name in casual conversation. It is as if to merely speak the name of Croda grants one higher stature in the Pool; very similar to talling Bauhaus to sit (which he should), taunting a newbie (which many of you are), or having sex with Stuka's hot woman (which only I am doing). I thank you all for remembering me in my absence. That said, as you are all aware, I haven't played a turn, nor launched the game in quite some time. Why then am I here, you ask? Mostly so that Stuka doesn't figure out that I'm making very frequent trips to Oz to shag his shaggable blonde counterpart, but also just because it is fun. You're all a bunch of ninnies, but you're my kind of ninnies. What is my point, you ask? I have none. I'm just on lunch and thought I'd check in. As for mister Phan, I created "Hi Mom" and if you want to fight about it then I may just have to drive myself all the way over to Joisey and pump my own gas and piss off your entire state. How 'bout dem apples, eh? It is also nice to see that the French have returned, and in doing so have brought their entourage, which is of course one of the two redeeming factors of our French comrades, the other of which currently escapes me. Emma, I've been to Paris, but more importantly, I've been to Nice and the question that begs to be asked is, "Have you been to Nice? and if so, what is your chosen attire for sunbathing?" :eek: Perverted minds want to know. Sometime very soon, maybe this weekend, I am booting to DOS and issuing a command much like Eisenhower's "go" order on June 5th, 1944: C:\format c: Are you Sure? Y/N? Hell no, but what frigging choice do I have? Yes, my machine is in dire need of a reload, and if I'm going to reload then might as well load win2k. But seeing as I work with compooters for a living, I should have any issues at all, n'est-ce pas? Roight. When I am done and get the monster working again, I will attempt to load CM, and will attempt to run the patch, and will consider playing some turns (just to burn in the new OS, of course). Until then, may your Inner Croda poke you in the spleen every now and again, for no good reason whatsoever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Phan Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda: Hmmm...Blah blah self important egocentric blatherings. I'm a pretty pretty Croda. As for mister Phan, I created "Hi Mom" and if you want to fight about it then I may just have to drive myself all the way over to Joisey and pump my own gas and piss off your entire state. How 'bout dem apples, eh? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Prove it. You know you're wrong. Be a good boy and send me my commission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 I am Panzer Leader! I shall start up the 1,124th thread complaining about the Peng Thread, and BTS won't mind, because I'm only being ironic! Behold my superior sense of reason and logic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted May 11, 2001 Share Posted May 11, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Taken from the Urban Combat Tweak thread as posted by Cubbies Phan: Well in John Kettler's defense I must say that given his Member # that he is well aware of the difference between woods and scattered trees.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I think we can all save a bunch of time if we just post a question and then determine who's right by the member number! In fact I think we should make that a CessPool requirement, it fits in nicely with our philosophy. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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