THE PENG I TAKE OUR CHALLENGE PUBLIC REVIVAL!!!

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

Escape to the other side of the planet to get away from the Teletubbies and Anne Robinson, and what do you get? The Teletubbies and Anne Robinson. Resistance is futile...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Aye, I have sworn off TV. If its not for the stinkin' English game shows, its Swedish reality TV, and my beloved Saturday morning cartoons are overrun with Japanese Pokemon...thank goodness for CM!

Speedbump

[armornut]

Nice to be back in the Cesspool, this place is a fricking five star hotel compared to a California family court room. I would have thought that there would be a judge that was smarter than people the likes of GayBoy_Recon, but he asked me what had to be the inane questions. An example; <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Do you think this child being kicked in the head is not healthy for him?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

My answer was:

Yes, that would be bad for anyone.

Retort:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Yes, but for this child, being that he is retarded, will it hurt him?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Trying to hide the look of awe at this man's lack of brains, I reply:

Yes, it could make him more damaged.......He could get more brain damage, Sir.

Judge:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Well he has it already, so what is the big deal?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

:eek:

Sir, he could get worse, that is to say he could get more brain damage, and become more of a problem.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Okay, we can get him out of there but the main reason is the drugs. It is bad to have kids around drugs.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I had to wait for two fricking days in a courtroom that was an oven to get questioned in this manner for one hour.

As for game updates;

The most honorable (er something)Mace seems to be feeling the effects of my ultra gamey use of a plane.

Stuka and I are fighting over a few bridges. I have a group of French fighters that are determined to defeat his Greman fighting machine.

Aitken has an Archer that is busy joy-riding insted of shooting at my tanks. He did manage to hit one though, good show sir!

Speedbump is rushing and over bridges and toward a few hills. Where he is going I have not a clue.

Peng May you pop your eyes with your grandmother's knitting needles:

:eek: and ;

to over do it.

Edited because keyboard are not made for big hands.

[ 05-09-2001: Message edited by: armornut ]

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Yes, but for this child, being that he is retarded, will it hurt him?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ohmigawd ... Of course you COULD have replied that the Judge has a great point, perhaps if he keeps getting kicked in the head ... HE WOULD DIE ... and then he wouldn't be around drugs which, you both agree, would be bad for him! Gotta love the American judiciary.

Joe

[armornut]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Ohmigawd ... Of course you COULD have replied that the Judge has a great point, perhaps if he keeps getting kicked in the head ... HE WOULD DIE ... and then he wouldn't be around drugs which, you both agree, would be bad for him! Gotta love the American judiciary.

Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I had a few replies that were slightly more graphic, but he seemed to have a thing for putting people in jail for contempt o' court. I hate jail.

[ 05-09-2001: Message edited by: armornut ]

[Bastables]

Hah! Another Bastables return. Now I shall destroy Mace with Marders to show that his CM skill do not even compare to those of a beached Jelly fish.

If I lose, well I can always point out that I was playing with Marders.

Huzza!

[armornut]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bastables:

Hah! Another Bastables return. Now I shall destroy Mace with Marders to show that his CM skill do not even compare to those of a beached Jelly fish.

If I lose, well I can always point out that I was playing with Marders.

Huzza!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I think that you should be careful calling out Mace, Baaaaastables.

[Bastables]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by armornut:

I think that you should be careful calling out Mace, Baaaaastables.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Bah I've spanked Mace before, besides the silly bugger can't even send me his correct setup.

:mad:

[armornut]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bastables:

Bah I've spanked Mace before...

:mad:<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You have....spanked......Mace...

Sorry....

Man, I don't think I have puked so much since I had a bad flu last winter.

[ 05-09-2001: Message edited by: armornut ]

[Stuka]

It wasn't Judge Judy was it?

[armornut]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

It wasn't Judge Judy was it?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No, he was a cheap knock off. I don't think anyone can approach the ignorace that is Judge Judy.

[Simon Fox]

So Bastables, think you can skulk in here hiding from me do you? Preparing for a bit of Scrub Typhus are you? hehe This is certainly the place to familiarise yourself with the effects of dysentry.

Ewwww

*notices an even more foul smell than usual emanating from a soiled nappy*

You lot have been babysitting again I see.

Anyhow you malingering kiwi, don't make me have to come in here again. Beating up on the dregs of the nation like "Merv Hughes" does not qualify you to preeminence in the eternal Aussie vs Kiwi struggle (admittedly you do have the tactical genius KiwiJoe in your camp). We have unfinished business Bastardables, hop to it!

[Bastables]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Simon Fox:

So Bastables, think you can skulk in here hiding from me do you? Preparing for a bit of Scrub Typhus are you? hehe This is certainly the place to familiarise yourself with the effects of dysentry.

Ewwww

*notices an even more foul smell than usual emanating from a soiled nappy*

You lot have been babysitting again I see.

Anyhow you malingering kiwi, don't make me have to come in here again. Beating up on the dregs of the nation like "Merv Hughes" does not qualify you to preeminence in the eternal Aussie vs Kiwi struggle (admittedly you do have the tactical genius KiwiJoe in your camp). We have unfinished business Bastardables, hop to it!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Bah you foul pond scum who run around killing the useful aussie eater; dingo. I mean just when the little buggers became useful and started killing aussie trailer trash your moronic government starts culling em. Bah Humbug!

Don't you remember that I've drawn the short straw for that little UN mission in Timor and am in the process of installing CM on every Army internet capable computer that I come in contact with. This means that our PBEM games are locked in the harddisk at home, which means you'll have to send another setup for me, ratty.

Oh and you can only reach me through bastables@hotmail.com

And get a dog up ya!

[ 05-09-2001: Message edited by: Bastables ]

[Berlichtingen]

Pray gentles, direct your attention to Wildman's FAQ

He has provided a much needed public service

[Berlichtingen]

Wildman!

Your worthy post has caused me to modify my sig

[MrPeng]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Simon Fox:

Snip<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

MrFox you foul, lurking, groggy swine! It is indeed a damn fine pleasure for you to appear in a Peng thread.

I have no idea why it is, but dammit, it just is.

Now go away.

Emma, dear, sweet Emma. *heavy sigh*

Wildman:

I have changed my mind. I have flushed the 176Fred zygotes from my system. I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES!

I will personally send a cheque for $5.00 american to the pooler who can dig up my Very First Post as MrPeng. The first to re-post it here will be sent the prize.

Any takers?

SenileTea - two things:

11. Surrender Dorothy. You are dead meat on a stick. Elsdorf is mine, and what it is too. brackets miss brackets.

vii. I am not Father Confessor. I do not give a dead rodent's hind quarters if you and the Evil One do say so. I am not will not should not could not and cannot be. So there. Damn you.

Whomever it was that said "Judge Judy"

NEVER MENTION JUDGE JUDY IN MY FRIGGING THREAD AGAIN!

Other banned people:

Dr Laura

The Donald

Geraldo Rivera

Any Survivor

Any Teletubbie

Any Reality TV "personality"

Rush Limbaugh

W

Algore

There are others, but I am sober and so am not thinking very clearly. The list of the banned will grow.

All BBS posters are of course welcome to come in and be treated like idiots.

I need a drink

Peng

[Joe Shaw]

Wildman you're nothing but a Peng sychophant ... heavy on the Psycho. I've read your drivel that purports to be a Peng FAQ and ...

Bah! This is all about ... PENG! As if HE has anything of value to add to the CessPool! Oh sure, his NAME is on it, certainly anyone who loses to him is permanently branded with the mark of shame but that's about it. He'll wander in from time to time, spouting some mystical nonsense that makes even LESS sense than Seanachai, grumbles about the state of things in general and then sloshes off into the nether regions ... and when you live in the CessPool the regions are pretty damned nether.

This supposed FAQ says NOTHING about the origin of the REAL CessPool. It provides no guidance to anyone who would dare to venture into the CessPool, it doesn't even reference the OFFICIAL CessPool site where the members of the CessPool are listed in all their glory.

Does it explain Bauhaus (well, as well as he CAN be explained), it does NOT. Does it explain the significance of Mormon Wives, it does NOT. Does it tell about the exploits of the Knights, the Squires, the serfs, the scum sucking newbies, (well, any of them that actually have accomplished anything, none spring to mind immediately but it COULD happen) it does NOT. Does it explain the roles of the Consigliori or the Father Confessor (whoever it ends up being, those damned butterfly ballots were confusing as hell, I think I voted for Phillies Phan and that just CAN'T be right), it does NOT.

This is no FAQ, it's another snivelling, toadying, whining PENG appreciation thread ... as if there is anything about PENG to be appreciated.

Joe

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

vii. I am not Father Confessor. I do not give a dead rodent's hind quarters if you and the Evil One do say so. I am not will not should not could not and cannot be. So there. Damn you.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sod off, you're it. Who the |CENSORED| said you had any say in it? Claim visons of the Blessed Virgin (given where you live, she must have been 4 years old) and get on with the absolution business

[Simon Fox]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Bah you foul pond scum who run around killing the useful aussie

eater; dingo. I mean just when the little buggers became useful and

started killing aussie trailer trash your moronic government starts

culling em. Bah Humbug!

Don't you remember that I've drawn the short straw for that little UN

mission in Timor and am in the process of installing CM on every Army

internet capable computer that I come in contact with. This means

that our PBEM games are locked in the harddisk at home, which means

you'll have to send another setup for me, ratty.

Oh and you can only reach me through completebastardables@hotmail.com

And get a dog up ya!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Yes, well now we only have to get them to cull that other feral pest: the malingering kiwi bludger. I am aware of your impending introduction to tropical disease, though I am suprised to learn that CM will run on a 486. It is hardly suprising given the nation of retards from which you come that it is necessary for me to spell out the bleedin' obvious to you in a manner that even a complete nitwit could comprehend. How remiss of me not to have remembered this after your unlamented absence from the board. It is not necessary for you to have every turn played on the computer you are using, merely the current one (quite how you acquired such an idea is beyond my comprehension since I have no insight into the mental processes of mud crawlers). I will send you the last turn and we may proceed. And get a dingo up ya! to you too.

[Guest Babra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

Other banned people: ...Any Teletubbie

I need a drink

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

So do these sweethearts. You should buy 'em one...

[Stuka]

Peng, imagine you wake from a deep sleep to find a naked Judge Judy above you, with a stick of wet celery in one hand and a cattle prod in the other........calling your name.

[Abbott]

PBEM Report

Dave Aitken has brought his 20mm pop-gun to our current battle. It has bounced about 20 rounds off the front of a piece of my armor and has been a bit of a nuisance. After an official request for it to halt it’s fire I was promptly informed all such requests take three weeks time to process, very Gamey.

MrSpkr after rudely asking me to send him a setup has complained that his computer picked forces were so bad that the thought of using them in battle has sent him to the hospital for a check up.

After offering him a new setup he replied “Being armed with a Louisville Slugger and two Phans is all that will be required”. MG42 sluggers (he was referring to?) Are popping out of the landscape everywhere like Gophers. Very Gamey.

[ 05-10-2001: Message edited by: Abbott ]

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

I will personally send a cheque for $5.00 american to the pooler who can dig up my Very First Post as MrPeng. The first to re-post it here will be sent the prize.

Any takers?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=001937]The Nascent Peng

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I am the "friend" of whom Elvis speaks. and while i have to agree with him about tcp/ip i feel i must warn you all that he is a swine, a liar and has an abnormally large head. that aside, he only wants tcp because my head is so fat i can't get the pbem files to download correctly so we haven't really been able to play that way.

i am not a shoot em up player and i like to have plenty of time to think about how to best shred my opponent, but i get into trouble if i spend too much time thinking about it.

Elvis has spent many too many hours accross an ASL board waiting for me to move and then sluaghters me because i over-thought the move. It almost seems like cheating to spend too much time planning a move in CM. i felt guilty playing against the AI if i looked at a turn from too many angles or more than once. (I was surprised to learn that the evil Elvis looks at turns many times.)

IMHO the game is designed not as a leisurely stroll with plenty of time plan but a bloody mess with gore and the stench of cordite, guts and fear and the loosed bowels of dying frightened men... sorry, got carried away.

DIE ELVIS YOU FILTHY SWINE!!!

Mr Peng <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hope that bowel thing cleared up.

Please make check payable (memo in my name) to www.laphroaig.com

Do it for the children.

[ 05-10-2001: Message edited by: Mark IV ]

[MrSpkr]

First, I want to thank Joe Shaw, Seanachai and Berlichtingen for proposing MrPeng as the Father Confessor of the One True Pool. I would also like to thank Leeo, mensch, MrPeng and PawBroon for proposing mensch be Father Confessor of the Muthah Beautiful thread. When faced with these two appalling choices, I promptly began having chest pains and spent most of Tuesday evening in our local charnel house, er, hospital, having EKG's and other exciting tests. At least, you guys are the one's I'll blame should I ever have to testify under oath.

Updates:

Leeo has returned to his troops and is now receiving a lesson in the Audie Murphy School of Artillery Fire: never be afraid to call down a couple of batteries on your own troops if you can kill a few of the enemy too.

harpooner, apparently suffering in some sort of Freudian hell (even his name is suggestive of overcompensation for underlying fears about his physical shortcomings - its an Id thing), has waved his large phallic device (a Firefly, he calls it) about, bashing a few tanks. Now, however, as his Ego begins to bring him back to the reality of his , er, physical inadequacies, he has produced a Stuart V which wanders blithely through the fields. Perhaps he should be Father Peng's **argghhh- chest tightening *** first victim, err, subject.

Abbott has succeeded in knocking out one tank, frightening a small child, and killing an endangered owl with his latest artillery barrage. I'll let him file the environmental impact statement.

Speedbump has exemplified the prestige and prowess worthy of the Benito Mussolini School of Armored Tactics: moving two scout cars up, alone, against infantry in woods and wheat. Result: one car gun damaged, one possibly in shock, and both effectively eliminated at this stage. On the other flank, his platoon is about to discover the difference between his rifles and my submachine guns in a close quarters battle. Should be an educational experience.

Mace was last seen chasing a young woman in a wool coat. He is considered armed and unnaturally horny. If you see this individual, please do not attempt to apprehend him yourself-- simply ask him TO SEND ME A FRIKKING TURN!

Wildman has gallantly offered to leave his scout car in full view, that my gunners may range their weapons. Thank you kind sir.

Now, as I prepare to take more foul potions intended to either cure me or put me out of my misery, I want to take a moment to tell you all that, during my stay at our local hospital, I thought of you, my fellow Poolers.

It happened as the nurse emptied some eighty-five year old lady's colostomy bag. She announced what she was doing (in the next room) and I immediately thought of all of you. You in particular, Lawyer, but the rest of you too.

Isn't it a heartwarming feeling knowing that someone could think of you even in the worst of times?

MrSpkr

[ 05-10-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

…now if a certain Stug or two should HAPPEN to stumble into a clever ambush that resulted in a victory for ME my mood MIGHT undergo a change and in the flush of victory I MIGHT be tempted to overlook the flaws of certain candidates and vote for them.

Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

BLOODY LOBBIST, thank god for my Hotel policies...

[**YK2**]

Came home for Lunch today and brought two baguettes but no sign of Paw (thought maybe he would pop in).... so as it rightly deserves I am bringing this thread back to the top..

Back to work now