Iskander Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 Once upon a time there was a wonderful, magical kingdom where the Knights were just and honest, the Ladies were buxom and of easy virtue, and all the streams and rivers flowed with Scotch. This place was absolutely nothing like the Cesspool. Welcome? No, not at all: Piss Off! And RUN as fast as you can AWAY from the PENG Challenge Thread! Look not upon our words lest you find your mind withered and desiccated before the undying gaze of the Lidless Pod; look not upon our works less The Eeeeveil One, Berli, claim your immortal soul for his own; look not upon our taunts lest you end up spending hours upon days upon weeks listening to the old gnome, Seanachai, prattle on about something that no-one could care the feck about. IF! If you are daft and determined enough to stay regardless, then lean in very close to your screen AND PAY SOME GODDAM ATTENTION TO SOMETHING BESIDES YOUR OWN SELF-CENTERED EGO! To wit: this is The One True Cesspool, and you shall have no other Cesspools before it; you shall abide by all of its Rules, even if they seem to shift like the ****e beneath your nervous, tapping feet; (lastly) this is NOT some weird kind of ladder – we do not care how good or bad you are at CM (insert angels singing here) – we care VERY MUCH if you have ever, EVER heard of Mr. Grammar and Mrs. Rhetoric; (middley) did you not grasp what was just said? PISS OFF! Go back to the OuterBoard! (666) there are a variety of people in this, our koinonia (and if you don’t know what that means, take it as a hint to PISS OFF), including but not limited to: The Old Ones, Senior Knights, Knights Not as Senior as Senior Knights, Squires ... Serfs ... and Scum Sucking Newbies (SSNs). Guess what! If you don’t know what that means either, take it also as a hint to PISS OFF); (lemon curry?) As has been said before well enough: You – yes I am talking RIGHT TO YOU – may have come here thinking that you are “special” and “unique” among SSNs of the wide world and that you have What It Takes to be one of us ... YOU ARE WRONG SO PISS OFF! (Firstly) If you MUST stick around, and it would be much better that you just go beat your rugs, remember that this is the Peng CHALLENGE Thread, so perhaps you might consider actually CHALLENGING someone to a game of CM. If you are STUPID enough to do that, KEEP IN YOUR TINY MIND: {beer} Challenge someone of your own stature, that is, NOTHING, by choosing another SSN, a Serf or perhaps, mayhaps even a Squire. Don’t know who’s who? Well, CRY ME A FECKING RIVER! {is} SOUND OFF LIKE YA GOT A PAIR! No girly-man tripe like you’d expect from a Swede, but sumfink with STYLE, WIT and HUMOR. If you quote someone from the last 500 years, you’ve already lost our interest. . . . {food) Do NOT sound off about YOUR or SOMEONE ELSE'S pair. Not only will we point and laugh at the miniscule size, WE MULES DO NOT LIKE BEING REMINDED!!! {1.} THINK before you type. A few minnits at least…. The rest of your useless life, at best. IF, if after all this you still want to hit the “Add Reply” button: DON’T DO IT YOU USELESS WANKER! PISS OFF! SOD OFF! GO AWAY NOW! Somebody get me a drink. [edited for a single iota's worth; literally] [ 08-24-2001: Message edited by: Iskander ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 Nothing like Southern hospitality. (sliding bottle to Iskander) Here you go - a bottle of Southern Comfort (what else), one Southerner to another. Now, if someone could go kick Lorak awake from his drunken stupor, he could update the Cesspool boards before the last thread drifs off into the distance. [edited for a *KICK*] [ 08-25-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 Egad. To think that, last Friday night I was in a bar drinking good booze with hot chicks, and this Friday night I'm the third geek to post to a new Peng thread. -sigh- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 Southern Comfort, eh, that's what Janis used to drink you know, her and Bobbie McGee {a single tear wends it's lonely way down the cheek of Joe Shaw ... in memory} ... ah well, there'll never be another ... BUT as long as the bottle is around, here's to ya' darlin' {Joe takes a good slug and begins to softly croon "If there's a rock n' roll heaven, you know they got a hell of a band." but forgets the lyrics and hums "On the Cover of the Rolling Stone" instead} As to the MBT ... No Man is an Iskander, that's what I always say or at least I will always say it after this time. Joe [ 08-25-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: Nothing like Southern hospitality. (sliding bottle to Iskander) Here you go - a bottle of Southern Comfort (what else), one Southerner to another.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> And you can't get much further Southern than Australia(you know the drill...Australia Australia we love you etc etc etc). Well you could get further south, but work with me here people!!! Anyway, where's my bottle? I do like the wee nip of a Southern Comfort with Coke...about 95% SC, 5% Coke. Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 Uh, nobody is going to mention the faxct this this is the worst, most awful thread title ever to surface??? I mean come on, other than the fact that it lacks wit, style, panache, or even a modicum of good taste (sorely lacking in that regards) it is also an afront to BTS, Combat Mission, and this messageboard as a whole. My god, man, it is like the dirty tricks that those friendless kids in elementary school used to play -- not funny, and just slightly... embarrasing and annoying. Listen, I am not trying to throw my weight around (while I may have vast quantities of physical weght, my social weight around here is pretty slim) I am trying to be vaguely serious while still maintaining that nugget of mirth I am known for. I bet Madmatt didn't okay this title either. Think: for the next week or two (we can only hope less) every time anyone -- including newbies and browsers -- stop by the UBB WE call home, they will see a glaring, CAPITALIZED FOR GOD SAKES announcement of the demise of the company we all (well you all) owe your social lives to. Simply put: not funny, just rather mean-spirited. And as for you Iskander, I haven't had many run-ins with you, but I am surprised that someone who appears to be 'with it' could make such a message-board gaffe. Please start a new one, or give up thhe reins to someone with a better sense of style than you, sir. Failing that, you cretin, SEND ME A SET-UP!!! Ugh, the horror of it all. But wait. theres more! Piss Off?!?! You throw out the tried and true, the trusty SOD OFF, veteran of so many WORTHY incarnations of the MBT for this trite and unseemly knock-off. Get a grip. This is terrible, you are terrible, and you have created something awful to behold. However, to wrap this up with a nice little bow, other than the insipid Piss Off the rules are marginally fair. Now I will leave you all in embarrassment, hopefully in the morning after a good night's rest, I shall return to see that it was a nightmare, or at least a quickly slaughtered fiasco, this disaster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 Oh and another thing: Mrspkr you are such a feckin' toadie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I mean come on, other than the fact that it lacks wit, style, panache, or even a modicum of good taste (sorely lacking in that regards) it is also an afront to BTS, Combat Mission, and this messageboard as a whole.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Much like yourself then. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 Yes, well, uh... good one Joe. This really isn't about me though... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 Some elfen dweeb may have made him a kanigget on a technicality, but I still find myself skipping his posts with regularity. Where's Geier when we need him. Time for some work with the Old Firm. [ 08-25-2001: Message edited by: Goanna ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 Panzer Leader: There are rules to what most folks would call successful writing. One of the commonly spouted ones is "write what you know". Another one is "show don't tell", and yet another is "be brief". The above three rules are generally the key to success here in the Pool (Seanachai and Pawbroon notwithstanding, but then I feel they may be the same person, and I feel that person may be Meeks. But then again, I think everyone might be Meeks...) but - where was I? Ah yes. Well, you are obviously "writing about what you know", i.e. nothing even remotely coherent or interesting, so in some ways you can be commended. If I could actually stomach your posts enough to read through them I might find that you were "showing and not telling"; but then you are probably showing where telling, or better yet, not mentioning anything at all, would be more appropriate. The "be brief" aspect is a sputtery thing for you, apparently - you were doing so well, then - well, wow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Goanna: Some elfen dweeb may have made him a kanigget on a technicality, but I still find myself skipping his posts with regularity. Where's Geier when we need him. Time for some work with the Old Firm.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Skipping whose posts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandorf Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 I like the title. And I like being mean spirited so go figure... Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Shandorf: I like the title. And I like being mean spirited so go figure... Jeff<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hey, how's that little tournament thingie working out for you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 That pro-PODian Wanker Elvis is to be hated. It's not that I was able to hate him enough to cause his Auto-Surrender in our previous game. It's not even enough that I have methodically been killing his Ami tanks and farmboys in our current mini-Stalingrad. Oh no. I hate him to depths that can only be properly expressed with a not-so-jolly little sing-song: "Though you all I berate, it is Elvis I hate. Is it 'cause of his sneer, Or the chill from his leer? Perhaps it's the way He keeps my troops at bay. But whatever the source, be it genteel or coarse, This to you I relate, It is Elvis I hate." Wanker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted August 25, 2001 Author Share Posted August 25, 2001 accompanied by the gentle tinkling of empty bottles and awash in the aroma of stale SoCo, Iskander pushed himself to a sitting position only to have his eyes light upon a PonziSchemer screed: "rather mean-spirited" Damn,there, boy... you've made my morning! Anything that ticks you off tickles me to death! And speaking of death, once I come to, you shall be receiving yours.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 (Sigh...)) Well, the thread is still here and struggling to survive so I guess I have no choice but to open this stinking set up by Iskander. Only one word caught my attention in his email: "...Canada...". Oy vay, a fate worse than death. As for you, Goanna, though I have NEVER skipped a post you've made, for the life of me I can't remember a single thing you've written. Go figure. [ 08-25-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 -------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by Berlichtingen: No, the reason you sound alike, is because you are Pommies, and there is no way in Hell you are going to convince right thinking (non-Pom) people otherwise. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Let us follow this hypothesis through to it's logical conclusion. You are basically saying that US citizens are really Canadians. [ 08-25-2001: Message edited by: Speedy ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedy: Let us follow this hypothesis through to it's logical conclusion. You are basically saying that US citizens are really Canadians.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You have that exactly backwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 ANNOUNCING ... ARTY FEST '45 Welcome to ... ARTY FEST 1945, yes all the fun, excitement and sheer thrills of TONS of BIG TIME ARTILLERY from BIG TIME SOFTWARE. You'll be blasting the living crap out of everything. You'll fire everything from rockets to mortars and you'll have all the tools you need to inflict MAXIMUM DAMAGE. Join the rollicking hi-jinks, the crafty moves and downright devious and gamey play as we follow our contestants in ... Arty Fest '45 ... remember boys, it's awfully dry out there so ... Only YOU can start forest fires. Now let's go to our first two contestants and see which one will be the big winner ... and the big weiner! Representing the GOOD GUYS (and obviously the eventual winner), The Stallion of Squires, The Scandahoovian Samurai himself, the noble and gifted ... Lars (squire to Sir Joe Shaw). And representing the EVIL SIDE (and, therefore, the WEINERS), The Nuclear Newbie, The Carolinian Carbuncle, the feared and hated ... mostly hated ... Juardis (squire to Sir MrSpkr). Get your tickets folks you won't want to miss this one. Gentlemen, come out firing! Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 This is just a plug for a thread of vital importance(written, of course, by me) in the General Discussion forum. You'll all recognize it immediately from the title. No, Johan, it is not Grog-Porn™. And you'll get your turn in the next day or two, once I've recovered sufficiently from jet-lag to hand you your square-headed heinie in an empty lutfisk barrel. And everybody knows that if there were no Canada it would be necessary to invent it so that we white, American males could have somebody upon which to heap abuse without being accused of racism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 Wankers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 My Liege Joe Shaw, I fear, Sire, that I must register a protest. The scenario that is Arty Fest ’45 is sadly broken. How can I possibly bring Janice-O-Cess the complete and humiliating loss that she so richly deserves when you ommited a bridge across the river? Not even an assault boat in sight. Could there be a ford I did not see? I can only assume that the low-life lawyer type (and is there any other kind, really?) snuck this into the fine print to protect the Virgin Squire’s somewhat sullied reputation. Please fix or do somefink… Your loyal Squire, Lars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted August 25, 2001 Share Posted August 25, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu: And everybody knows that if there were no Canada it would be necessary to invent it so that we white, American males could have somebody upon which to heap abuse without being accused of racism.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> There'll always be an England! (excluding Scotland of course, we don't want to offend Emma. David though, he's fair game!) Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted August 26, 2001 Share Posted August 26, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Mace wrote: David though, he's fair game!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Don't worry, I shall shortly be moving to England for a few years, so you may continue regarding me as the Englishman that to all intents and purposes I appear to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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