Peng just challenged my newborn son andwill still lose

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Speedbump challenged me yesterday, but it was so weak, so lame, it sounded like his mouth was full of mountain oysters at the time, so I am letting that mini-rant slip into the past unheeded.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You can't honestly be that stupid. You are a witless buffoon. That challenge was directed at your Patron, Pawbroon! I forward the following as evidence:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> This leads me to the following thought. Pawbroon I hate you for allowing Panties to hang around here. I hate you for your indecipherable posts. I hate you for your "Shagadelic" mods. I hate you, as I hate Mace, for your online infatuations with other members of the Pool. I hate you because you are French<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Panties, do you post indecipherable posts? (No, just boring) Did you post an Austin Powers mod of a Wasp? Do you have an infatuation with one of our female members? (Well, you did ask to see one naked - crass). Are you French?

Finally: Are you Pawbroon??? No, now go away, play in traffic.

Speedbump

[ 06-14-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ]

[Berlichtingen]

Seanachai,

Would you just send the damn e-mail to Treeburst and be done with it? Why are we acting like this is some kind of democracy?

[Panzer Leader]

You will notice Spedyhump that I at least have the courtesy to bold-face your name, gay as it is. You will also notice, Steedhump that I am Sir Pawbroons squire. Thirdly, you will note that, as I am certain that my sponsor would not stoop to the level of your cretinous self to even give you a resounding "Non!, I was doing you a favor, as squire and companion in this pool we call home, of giving you a straight "Avec a Merde!" so you could at least have the honorable turn down, rather than the ignobility of a dead silence to your churlish summons for battle.

Ah, Treestump, you fly in the face of decency. You are the ignoble cretin I tried to rescue you from becoming, so please, do me (and the rest of the cess) a favor and sod off!

((As always, edited for stUBBidity.))

[ 06-14-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ]

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Seanachai,

Would you just send the damn e-mail to Treeburst and be done with it? Why are we acting like this is some kind of democracy?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Because it keeps them busy. That illusion of participation and empowerment is the most delightful feature of Democracy.

But you're right, it is now time for the Illuminati to make manifest the Will of the People.

Expect an announcement shortly as to who is representing the Eternal Peng Challenge Thread in the Invitational.

[jd]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

I stand accused of "erudition" and urbanity with minors. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Convicted by your own words <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The short-lived "The Peng Challenge Thread does MY talking" was wiped in the second Great Board Crash, probably by chrisl, the gamey bastiche. In a single phrase, it captured the fin-de-siecle and the zeitgeist of all that is Peng.

Hand-crafted from Olde World consonants and syllables, it was the zenith of the post header's art, and now ranks with the missing books of Livy as one of civilization's irreplaceable lost treasures.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>You tell me that this is on par with the tripe that has passed here of late. No my dear sir, convicted of wit and urbanity is your fate. Of course, contrary to the young'ns belief, a modicum of wit, intelligence and eruidition were a hallmark of those days , long past where we once trod barefoot in the snow, up hill, must have been the winter of aught eight....yes I can remember it all.....

Sorry, but since I am probably age-wise only less than Joe, and in the top 5% and a lawyer of judicious mien, there comes a time to cut off debate, and make a decision. I hate to be *ack* fair about it (well Jefe at least implied the baksheesh needed) Then we need to decide, or not.

Shandorf(he of the lean and hungry look) and Iskander (the drunken doppelganger of Peng) seem to have garnered a working quorum of the souless here, so I say, go forth young Champions proclaim yourselves as ready to play, but don't come back either with or on your shields. Better yet, don't even mention us.

I now ask Bauhaus to apply the Official Great Seal and Mark of the Pool of Cess to their collective backsides (yes you have our permission this time) and escort them immediately from the premises to the outre lands.

[ 06-14-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

[PawBroon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedbump:

Do you post indecipherable posts?

Did you post an Austin Powers MOD of a Wasp?

Do you have an infatuation with one of our female members?

Are you French?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Aww **** I have the naggin' feeling he is talking about me.

Why would I want to play with you as I do have that thing already with Emma as you so elegantly pointed to?

Ok Oedipus, I have a backlog of Turns, MODs, Tests and Articles longer and bigger than your ego.

Don't expect much...

[Edith & Marcel]

[ 06-14-2001: Message edited by: PawBroon ]

[Lawyer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

That takes care of Mace and Stuka, our antipodean pals. Again, they are not the greasey type of foreigner, but the water goes down the potty the wrong way around when they flush and that just freaks me out.

Peng<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Why do you presume the Mace and Stuka flush the toilet, or even use a toilet? Incorrect assumptions lead to incorrect conclusions. From what evidence we have at hand, the safer assumption would be that modern plumbing facilities are not part of the exciting lifestyles of these Ozzies.

The ONLY reason to send a Cesspooler to a serious match is to terrorize, confuse, disrupt, and ruin said match and all the grogs involved. The ONLY candidates who could assuredly accomplish that Cesspoolian mission are Meeks and Croda, whose insane rantings and bitter bile have not been surpassed. Plus I note that they are home-grown AMERICANS, where obnoxious bile is a birthright.

Apparently, neither is available to represent the Cesspool.

As Consigliori, I recommend that Winecape be told to stick (deeply) his tournament of "stars" where the sun don't shine. South Africa certainly qualifies in that regard in all matters we care about, if not the weather itself.

Why should Winescape be treated differently than any other SSN? He has not followed Cess protocol by singling out a target, showing a pair, or casting enough insults to get a game. He has not EARNED the opportunity of getting a Cesspool opponent.

Do you not see the obvious dangers here, Gentlegits? Answering the Winescape invitation is a clear precedent that will surely put the Cesspool on a descending path to legitimacy, fair competition, and good sportsmanship.

What comes next? A Cesspool Club Card and an awards ceremony with "Cessies" handed out to sniveling pock-faced gits by a smiling Seanachai in a shiny tuxedo? Get a grip on yourselves!

BTW, Geir qualifies only in that he lives where there is nothing else to do (and he apparently doesn't care). I've never seen him post anything close to the intense hatred necessary to spoil Winecape's match.

Likewise, Iskander, despite his witty personal denigrations here in the Pool, is actually not mean enough to spoil an entire tournament full of outsiders. Plus, he needs to conserve his energies for the serious business of drinking, which for true believers is a profession, not a hobby.

More wisdom for the ages...

[ 06-14-2001: Message edited by: Lawyer ]

[ 06-14-2001: Message edited by: Lawyer ]

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by WineCape:

Dear Gentleman and not so Gentleman,

Would it make your nomination task easier if we could get not one, but *TWO* nominations from the cesspool for the PBEM Invitational Tourney of "Stars"?

Just let Treeburst155 know. I have not discussed it with him (have no time as I am boarding a plane in 2 hours) that it will be OK I guess to allow 2 cesspoolers on the Invitational instead of 1. But hurry up, as the invitation return deadline is closing soon.

Regards,

Charl Theron<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

If only good fortune such as this could play out day to day in my REAL LIFE. I don't think I would be so high strung and generally mean spirited.

But this is the pool....

Send the darn e-mail Seanachai! And remember the lives of your soon to be captured digital men depend on it.

Jeff

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by panties:

You will notice Spedyhump that I at least have the courtesy to bold-face your name, gay as it is.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Look here, bwana:

1) when I dubbed you "panties" I dubbed you "panties". Not "Panties" or "bold/Panties/nobold". Anyone who decides to use the name I gave you (just a few so far) will use it as dubbed.... or not, whatever. But whatever they decide, certainly you, as a mere SSN, have no say in the matter.

z) as far as I'm aware, only Squares and Kaniggets get their names bolded (The Lorak will know, but if you journey to his treehouse and ask him he may bite your elbows off).

[Chupacabra]

I nominate myself for whatever the hell you people are arguing about because

1) I only post here once every two months. This gives me street cred.

2) I can come up with Mr T pictures on demand.

As for my playing skills, I think I got a tie once.

[Panzer Leader]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Muttered by Doldrum:

Now listen here, I'm the boss, see, and I am bigger and meaner and rougher and tougher -- I'm the one and only Dominator! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Pardonnez moi, mon Capitaine, but I am and have been for quite some time what you like to refer to as "...a square...". So, like it or not, I suck no scum, especially from the likes of you, who are neither witty nor imbued with the tenets of knighthood.

I am beginning to sense, what with Shagdorff's recent...disply, that there must have been a break in the cesspool recruitment process some time ago. Maybe with the giddiness of the games release, Peng authorized a "Free Kaniggethood -- Today Only!" special or something.

Now, invariably, those dim-wits, half-wits, and lack-wits must surely come from that bunch. Doll'em you are not fooling anybody with your pretentions to kaniggethood. We all know that you still lick the slime off the boots of any passersby you meet. Why don't you go volunteer to become the head of Jan's-shorts pep squad. You even get a baton!

And as for your oh-so-punny name for me, all I can say is: I would rather be a pair of panties (and if I were panties, they wouls be the satiny Victoria's Secret kind) and live in the world of panties, than to scratch out the wretched existence that you must lead DoLamb!

[ 06-14-2001: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ]

[Iskander]

The unseemly fact that once again I have managed to attract the attention of two of our least reputable lawyers has me flashed back to the day when as a mere SSN floundering about the Cess one Bauhaus keep eyeing me with that lean and hungry look that never appeared to rise above the beltline. *bleh*

Once again doffing (that's dof! bauhaus!) my Cincinnatus mein, I say that I shall not sully myself or this Hollowed Body with insufferism of the OuterBoard!...

.

.

.

of course, if I did, or actually for anyone else, all I'd/they'd have to do is copy each turn with the password to all and sundry Knights for review and comment. Hmmm... then we all could contribute to the Perfectly Reasonable Denigration of the World of Grog. Perhaps the Elders could enflesh this a bit more....

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

I am beginning to sense, what with Shagdorff's recent...disply, that there must have been a break in the cesspool recruitment process some time ago. Maybe with the giddiness of the games release, Peng authorized a "Free Kaniggethood -- Today Only!" special or something.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmm, can't remember exactly how it was that Shandorf achieved Knighthood. I believe it was a combination of the fact that, like myself, he lives in God's Country, and as a landsmann was entitled to certain dispensations, and the fact that everyone took pity on his low self-esteem issues. That plus the fact that he was beating the snot out of a bunch of people, and no one wanted to be accused of keeping him out because of vindictiveness.

Who was Shandorf's sponsor, come to think of it? Was it Berli?

[ 06-14-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer:

As Consigliori, I recommend that Winecape be told to stick (deeply) his tournament of "stars" where the sun don't shine. South Africa certainly qualifies in that regard in all matters we care about, if not the weather itself.

Why should Winescape be treated differently than any other SSN? He has not followed Cess protocol by singling out a target, showing a pair, or casting enough insults to get a game. He has not EARNED the opportunity of getting a Cesspool opponent.

Do you not see the obvious dangers here, Gentlegits? Answering the Winescape invitation is a clear precedent that will surely put the Cesspool on a descending path to legitimacy, fair competition, and good sportsmanship.

What comes next? A Cesspool Club Card and an awards ceremony with "Cessies" handed out to sniveling pock-faced gits by a smiling Seanachai in a shiny tuxedo? Get a grip on yourselves!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

This simply is not a group that should actually be encouraged to get a grip on themselves. But I like the idea of handing out awards (and I would wear a sober black tuxedo, quite understated and refined, I'm sure. Or perhaps one of those tuxedos you can find at thrift stores, and look as though they were last worn by head waiters in restaurants where they have 'perogies', 'wurst', and 'beets' on the appetizer menu.

But the awards, of course, would not be 'cessies', but 'Bryants'. They would be sculpted to exactly resemble the Pod himself, gesturing rudely, with a beer in the other hand.

By the by, after this most recent harangue it will come as a surprise to no one that each week Lawyer chooses an embassy or consulate in our nation's capitol and goes by to abuse, torment, and harass them, as 'diplomacy' is not an undertaking that he recognizes as legitimate.

[MrPeng]

Right!

Shandorf and Berli, that's my last word on the subject.

Lawyer, you are merely upset that I failed to mention you again in a post in which all of the really important pool members were not only mentioned, but BOLDED while mentioned (unless of course I mentioned panties - he only is mentioned as an object lesson in "how not to be respected and loathed in the pool all at the same time"), so stop your petty esquire wimpering and sue some damn mall security guard for pepper spraying an unruly old woman at the J. C. Penny returns and exchanges window already.

Shandorf and Berli are the WineCape tourney reps of the 'pool. So let it be written, so let it be done.

Peng

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Who was Shandorf's sponsor, come to think of it? Was it Berli?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Though I doubt that he remembers nor will admit it... It was Shaw who validated my existence here and it was only through dogged determination and much persistance on my part that Lorak finally enscribe my name within the sacred tomb. I think I was a squire, or the now more popular SSN, for about half a year. It was winter of 2000 during the great "Mass Induction", as I like to call it, where I got my spurs.

I think Fancy-Lad is just jealous the poor little mop.

Riiioght! Who is poppin off the e-mail to that wine chap? I am much too eager to start adding to my "out-boarder stuffhead collection". It's right next to Marlow's stuffed ass since he hand that to me way back when I kicked it. I am already dusting off a place for Spock's ass when I get done kickin' it also...

BTW... I knew my bribing of Peng with wine would work.

Jeff

[ 06-14-2001: Message edited by: jshandorf ]

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by WineCape:

Dear Gentleman and not so Gentleman,

Would it make your nomination task easier if we could get not one, but *TWO* nominations from the cesspool for the PBEM Invitational Tourney of "Stars"?

Just let Treeburst155 know. I have not discussed it with him (have no time as I am boarding a plane in 2 hours) that it will be OK I guess to allow 2 cesspoolers on the Invitational instead of 1. But hurry up, as the invitation return deadline is closing soon.

Regards,

Charl Theron<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

What are you some sort of sadist? The beloved pool can barely reach a concensus on one pool member and you want us to pick another? You got to be cartoonin' me! I think the pool should debate the issue for another 7 pages, it really will show the "world" what a complete bunch of idjits we are.

In the words of Stuka,

"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

[Geier]

The French: Did you, or did you not, want to be beheaded by us? WE have fulfilled our part (and will henceforth be called the Party of the part if it so pleases His majesty) but you have not.

This is not in the least surprising as in our earlier endeavours you have simply slunk away not to be seen until your troops died of old age. And then you always turn up like something that turns up after it has been away and we set up a new contract, only for you to lose interest and slink away again.

It is apparent how you managed to be at war with Old Blighty for 100 years without anyone getting killed. Unless you count Colin the dachshound of course, Hero of France for his contribution during the Second battle of Agincourt when he, in a moment of unparallelled French fury peed on a sleeping (remotely british) ox.

Send us a frigging file.

Berli Morningstar: Since we haven't conferred with any legal advisors (especially not jdmorse or, hell forbid, a Lawyer that can't spell consiglieri) we can only point to the fact that we have fulfilled all parts of our contract in that we have sent You a file. That the file in itself possibly doesn't hold up with our normal standards, in fact, it holds no standard whatsoever, cannot be held against us.

Yes indeed, that 15cm iG can be held against us, as You so clearly have illustrated.

We will make the necessary arrangements and provide You with a file with actual content.

Everyone we held responsible for this little mishap has been fired. They have been fired the Old Firm way.

Mark IV: Excellent work. Carry on. Don't forget to get your coat.

PENG: Are we having fun yet? No? Then why not send us a file? Couldn't hurt, could it? At least not much.

mensch: You're doing just fine. Shurely those six or seven burning husks of metal, diesel and human remains are only a clever ploy?

Amurikans: I have your president. He is here. Is it true that people actually voted for this guy? The two guys standing next to him is actually one guy, Göran. Göran is our Ministers of State. Someone apparently voted for him as well.

Ain't life weird?

[jshandorf]

LORAK oh great drooling one... I carry with me the body of another slain foe. It is Babra.

Babra: He has givin up on life as we know it... He has *gasp* stop playing CM. No matter since I was beating him 60 something to 30. So he has surrendered.

ME: winner by a TKO.

Jeff

[ 06-14-2001: Message edited by: jshandorf ]

[Iskander]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf:

...BTW... I knew my bribing of Peng with wine would work.

Jeff<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

My God... if only you knew how hard Peng and I are laughing at that statement right now....

[mensch]

And lo the Horseman "DEATH" and his companions "SKIPPY" and "FLUFFY" and oh ya "WAR" came to the battlefield to cause havoc and mok riot!.

And LORAK heard the cries of the dying and the stench of the dead from his easy-o-matic-all-in-one™ plush chair.

Two great armies stood opposing and thus only one has won! Kommander Mensch aka "snuggelhase" aka "bringer of toasted cheeze melts" aka "hey thats my wallet you thief!!!" commanded a wopping 5000pts of brave, strong Germanic forces!! and across from him Berli aka "hey thats my tank! well whats left of it anyhow!" aka "fluffymuffin" aka "this is no fair I'm going home and taking my red wagon with me too!" commanded a laughable 5000pts of spinless, yellow American forces...

There were fireworks, there was tank battles that even Fox could make on a Amiga 3D station! there was Bratwurst and Beer!!! there was a lot of dead Americans!!

and

there was one winner... ME!!!! ME YOU HEAR!!! hahahahahaha!

Lorak o wise one please register this battle with the blood of Berli

Mensch - Axis(da MASTER of Mr. EVIL himself)

112 casulties (34 KIA)

7 vehicles KO'D

Men OK 458

Score: 85!!

Berli - Allies (sourpuss, giver upper kinda guy)

287 casulties (67 KIA)

362 captured

9 mortars destroyed

6 guns destroyed

20 vehicles KO'D

Men OK 0 (yup zero!!)

score: a measly 15

Allied Surender, Axis Total (yes TOTAL) victory...

hahahAHHAHhahahAHAHhahhahaha!

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Snuggle Bunny:

there was Bratwurst and Beer!!! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I don't remember seein' no beer-n-brats! You rat bastard, you robbed me!

[Holman]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geier:

Amurikans: I have your president. He is here. Is it true that people actually voted for this guy?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[/lurk]Well, to our credit, the majority of us didn't.[lurk]

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geier:

[QB

Amurikans: I have your president. He is here. Is it true that people actually voted for this guy[/QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sadly, yes. But it's really okay. We just wanted to show the world that we can still take you all on even with one President tied behind our backs.

Take that Brunei!

[Lawyer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

But the awards, of course, would not be 'cessies', but 'Bryants'. They would be sculpted to exactly resemble the Pod himself, gesturing rudely, with a beer in the other hand.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Be very, very careful, Seanachai. Like Yahweh, the true name of Peng should never be spoken. Thus, you may prefer "Pengies" or "Thingies". There would be no substantial difference as informed minds regard Peng as a thingy anyway.

Peng

You are nothing but a washed up "Tidy Bowl Man" sailing Turgid Waters of Waste at the Greyhound bus station, surrounded on all sides by permanently stained and streaked porcelain. You look up and worship the great Red Eye in the Sky staring down at you, with Curly Cirrus Clouds of Hair all about. Your only hope of a life raft is a used condom dropped in random acts of mercy by the occasional Red Eye God in response to your fevered prayers.

Time for you to sail into the sunset. We on shore won't be waving goodbye.

FLUSH