Iskander Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 sitting in the back of the courtroom with dark glasses and headphones connected to a CD-player, Iskander tries very hard to ignore the proceedings like a good juror. However, the combination of last night's rye and this morning's Bloody Mary's is just too much... slipping into a dream while listening to his old, old Pink Floyd CD, he sees a vision unfold... [shaw] Good morning, Lorak your Loathedness. My case will plainly show The prisoner who now stands before you Was caught red-handed inviting Grogs in... Inviting Grogs into our Cesspool! This will not do! Call the Evil One! [berli] I always said he'd come to no good In the end your Loath-ed. If he’d played some more Rune games We could have flayed him into shape. But our hands were tied, The Tournaments and Grog Threads Let him chatter, natter, blather... Give his soul to me today! [seanachai] Stupid... defaced the Cess; I am stupid, Gone to hear folk songs... Wont even have a dumb Grog to play… [Jury] Stupid... defaced the Cess; he is stupid. [Croda] You little git; when weren’t you told: I hope they strip you of your bold. You should have taunted here more often Than you did, but no! You had to go your own way, have you Dragged in any Newbies lately? Just five minutes, Lorak, your Loathship, Him, me... alone. [Peng] Waaaaaiiiit! Come to your Confessor, let me purge you of your sins! Just conjure up a bottle and sit here on my lap And you’ll never have to leave me! Lorak, your Loathedness, let me take him home! [seanachai] Gamey, into the Cesspool, I was gamey, Ornery as a mule. There must have been a crapper in the stall When I brought ‘em in [Jury] Gamey, into the Cesspool, he was gamey. [Lorak] The evidence before this court is incontrovertible There's no need for the Poolers to debate: In all my years of loathing I have never heard before Of someone more deserving the foulness of our law! The way you made them suffer, The Knights, Squires and others, Fills me with the urge to celebrate! Since, my friend, you have revealed our deepest fear I sentence you to be re-bolded before your peers! Have at the Grogs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terence Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Agua Perdido: No it isn't.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yes, it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Terence: Yes, it is.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> No, it isn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: No, it isn't.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> [ding!] Sorry, time's up. Agua Perdido [Edited because MrSpkr stole my line.] [ 07-17-2001: Message edited by: Agua Perdido ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 MrSpkr: Your honor, I object. Listening to Iskander try to sing is MOST DEFINITELY cruel and unusual punishment! [edited for a sudden attack of PatonReturns in my spelling habits] [ 07-17-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetherat Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 He's behind you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Agua Perdido: [ding!] Sorry, time's up. Agua Perdido [Edited because MrSpkr stole my line.] [ 07-17-2001: Message edited by: Agua Perdido ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> But I was just getting interested! That wasn't five minutes just now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst: But I was just getting interested! That wasn't five minutes just now!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Agua Perdido: Sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> But that was never five minutes just now! Oh Come on! Oh this is... This is ridiculous! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst: But that was never five minutes just now! Oh Come on! Oh this is... This is ridiculous!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hmmmhmhmm... [looks away, taps foot] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Agua Perdido: Hmmmhmhmm... [looks away, taps foot]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh all right. (takes out his wallet and pays again.) There you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetherat Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 Now listen here, bog hogs. I'm not in the habit of wasting my time scripting one of the most marvelous pieces of prose to cross these pages in years for it to simply go unanswered. Ignored, even. I, of course, am referring to the text below: "That does it. Not only have I been gazzumped by a pair of freckled ginger spods, but my bloody hard disk has now terminally errored. My opponents, if they have the gall to call themselves such, will have to wait while I sue my retailer for a new one. They have the gall to express the opinion that failing to supply me with a product that is fit for its intended purpose is my own problem. Obviously, consumer law is not a forte of theirs, as seems to be selling worthless iMacs to punters that don't know better. While I relish the thought of getting back into the swing of things with the reptilian-insect crossbreeds that I am sparring with, and taking those slimey pile 'em high retailers to the highest court in the land, I am not so content at dealing with... (bless me father for I have sinned) ...Lawyers. I mean, come on, they're hardly carbon-based animals in here (JR Morose springs to mind immediately). God only knows what they're like out there. My 'opponents' (being as loose a term as possible) if my memory serves me correctly are: Aqua Perido Iskander Marlow Moriarty PeterNZer Wildman (if he's still here. If not, chalk up a magnificent win for me Lorak. I have the files to prove it. Well, hopefully I do, if I can recover my data) Have I forgotten anyone? You're probably not worth remembering anyway. Summing up, then, just hold up a while. And maybe I'll see you in court some time? StR" Now, you may think I am some sort of leper, or that bloke on one episode of a sci-fi series (can't remember the name) where he wears a red blob or something, for committing a crime and is 'ignored' by society at large. However, I am considered in these parts a highly commendable part of the community and this silence treatment just won't do. Not at all. Fix or do somefink. You have been warned. StR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst: Oh all right. (takes out his wallet and pays again.) There you are.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I said I can't argue unless you've paid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Geier posted a really stupid idea but then we've come to expect that of him.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Geier you bumbling fool, allow me to remind you of three salient facts in this case: (1) Seanachai ASKED for a trial, it's not as if we wanted to take this step but as Knight of the CessPool he is allowed to be judged by his peers ... granted it will require that we reduce the I.Q. of the jury by half but rights are rights. (2) My member number is WAY lower than yours so shut up. (3) I went to a LOT of work on the Specifications and the Evidence. Just wait till you see the evidence, it's cool with line numbers and page numbers and everthing kinda quasi-legal and official looking and I'll be damned if I did all that work for nothing. Besides, I'm already playing him. (4) Oh wait, I know I said three but it's really four ... We have an important legal precident to set here, to determine if this CessPool, or any CessPool so created shall perish from the Board. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 By God Shaw, get your bloody numbering right or you will never get a beer from my bar again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: (1) Seanachai ASKED for a trial<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh, I see, and since the Elders caved in to jshandorf, it's all about happy little clouds and giving people what they want here in the 'Pool. Well, I want you to SEND ME A FECKIN' TURN, you lower-than-lawyer lawyer-wannabe! Now, unless there's going to be a car chase, no more talk of trials. Flay everyone involved and toss 'em in the salt pit. Who wants a margarita? I'll have mine on the rocks, please. Agua Perdido Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 "Flay 'im!" "Throw him in the Salt pit!" "We wanna car chase!" "Were's the titillation, the intrigue!" "We want an argument!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by stevetherat: You have been warned.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You know, I missed that post entirely when I scrolled past the first time. Peoples, stevetherat needs our love. Let me be the first to reach out: Hard drive, shmard drive--SEND ME A FECKIN' TURN! Agua Perdido Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 Lars: I’m sorry Von Shrad, it appears I’m the new piss boy in town. Congrats on making Squire. Please pass the bucket, will you? Von Shrad: Here you go, the damn thing is yours, watch the leaks. Lars (looks in the yellow stained pail): Eew, you could have washed it first. Von Shrad: Oh No, it’s not to be washed. What you have in your hands there is the accumulated wisdom of the Kaniggets of the Cess. Notice the nice crust around the edges. Lars: Is that from The Old Ones? Von Shrad: Yes, a few of them are getting on in years. High amounts of bile leads to that. Watch out, sometimes they get it on your shoes. Lars (looks in the bucket again): And the streaks of red? Von Shrad (whispers): Pancreatitis. A few of the Kaniggets have been known to overindulge in a bit of the grappa. Place the pail at their feet and back away, they almost always miss. Lars: What about the sinkers and floaters? Von Shrad (shrugs): Various Squires struggling to reach the top. Just smash them flat with this ladle and stir them in. You won’t notice them a bit. Lars: Hmm, that one on the bottom looks like a rodent dropping. So what about when the bucket is full? Von Shrad: Your duty is to make sure the bucket is never filled. You’ll know what to do. Lars (a look of comprehension): I see. Well, this job shouldn’t be to bad. Lars (offers ladle): Hey, Stalin’s Organ, being a SSN is thirsty work, can I offer you a bit of refreshment? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 Hee hee, steatorrhoea bought a Mac and it didn't work, what a surprise, hee hee hee. Oops, I use a Mac as well. Obviously I've been infected by the Maximus virus, an e-mail distributed 'trojan' which runs the script: 1 SEE "MAC" 2 SAY "HA HA, MACS ARE A LOAD OF CRAP" 3 GOTO 2 Never mind, you can take heart in the fact that Steve Jobs is giving his keynote speech tomorrow at Macworld Expo NY, and I won't be able to see it, not just because a 56K connection isn't good enough to stream it, or because it probably wouldn't work even on an ADSL connection, but because I'll be in the middle of Engerland at the time. This meanz no turnz for all my opponentz for about 36 hourz as of two hourz from now. PBEM Report PawBroon's Brits are dying a lot in rune's Caen Mutiny. Leeo's Germans are dying a lot in rune's Wide Front. As it has taken about 20 minutes to withdraw my pathetic Poles from the gaping dentures of Stalin's Organ, I might as well have left them where they were. Mind you, I did kill off two halftracks in the meantime. After the charge of the medium tank brigade into the valley of Panty Liner, we were both left with considerably fewer armoured thingies than when we started, and our prospects remained uncertain. Subsequently he manuevred some light armour and infantry into one of my killzones and we are having a nice little slugging match. What happens next is anyone's guess. MrSpkr claims my 3in mortars are naught but an annoyance, despite the fact that one of them knocked out a gun of his about a kilometre away with its first shot, and thus far they have only really been bracketing their targets. I haven't heard from armornut for a wee bit, but last time I checked I was about to attack him in the snow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
**YK2** Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanacoochie: Well, now, it could be just a bit closer to heaven, Emma, as it could have involved me coming over (at a decently late hour of the morning, say, around 10 AM or there abouts), to find you and The French still snogging and giggling, and bounced into the flat calling "Cheerio, Emma! Holla, Marcel! Enough of that, you two, it's time to come down to the car, as we're leaving for Brittany and the Celtic Music Festival! I've brought crusty rolls, cheese, white wine, and a quick plate of oysters for Pawbroon!" <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Indeed Sean that sure sounds like another little slice of heaven, Celtic Music your goodself complete with crusty bread and wine, (Dunno about the cheese though) depends on which type. Yep, I think I could have managed to drag myself away from Marcel long enough to enjoy that, especially seeing as he would have been there as well, Which means, if anything, I would be the one lacking not you. Think about it, not only would I have Marcels sharp wit and ability to turn his hand at almost anything to contend with, (not that i'm complaining) but also your wit and humour as well.. Yep.. would most definately be Moi who would feel inadaquate should that ever happen. You and Marcel would be the ones bouncing off each other with verbosity and humour while I would be the one nursing an aching jawbone through laughing at the jokes I understood, while wishing I had brought an English dictionary rather than a French one to decypher the ones I didn't quite get. Never have I known two people with such a command of words of the English language, all the more astonishing is the fact that one is indeed French. *Sighs With Admiration* sheesh.... Maybe I should stop trying to learn French and start concentrating more on learning the Oxford English Dictionary from A-Z that way I would know its a complete waste of time checking to see if the word I don't recognise does indeed exsist.... It always does... Yep would have been indeed a day to remember Thanks for the scenario...... TTFN......... Emma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Lars (offers ladle): Hey, Stalin’s Organ, being a SSN is thirsty work, can I offer you a bit of refreshment?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Hah! Well done lad, well done indeed. While it's not my policy to encourage Serfs I must make an exception and offer to take Lards to squire. I like the cut of his gibe. Lorak, make it so. Joe [ 07-17-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Something to do with water in spanish or possibly portugese, maybe even armenian, the point is that you can't make me know what it means: Oh, I see, and since the Elders caved in to jshandorf, it's all about happy little clouds and giving people what they want here in the 'Pool. Now, unless there's going to be a car chase, no more talk of trials. Flay everyone involved and toss 'em in the salt pit.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Bwilliant! I just decided not to like you at all. The salt pit it is, bring some of your copies of Battlestar Galactica along and maybe we can throw a barbie. I have thrown a Malibu Stacy 85 yards once. Those happy little clouds give me the creeps. I'm off to slaughter my system and sacrifice it to, uh, that Indian (as in that Really Big country that the Gandhis used to live in) chick with lots of arms so that I can play Red Baron 3D on Kali.net. Just like the old days. Hide in the clouds and then swooooop down from the sun, watch that Nieuport grow in your sights and gently gently press the trigger on the dual Spandaus and... Ahem. Right. I'm off then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 I couldn't go away before telling Joe the how's and wherefore's and why's he is an idiot, could I? <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: It sucks to be me. Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> x.IIV)Learn how to number your lists properly. K.)Since when did we start doing what people asked us to do? Oh, since you decided you had any say in any matter? Threehundredfiftysevenandahalf.) You will be damned whatever work you ever do. No matter how official looking. *12A) The fact that you are already playing (paying? I still think this is just a publicity stunt, like the gulf war) each other is irrelevant. As is anything else you do. Ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted July 17, 2001 Share Posted July 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I couldn't go away before telling Joe the how's and wherefore's and why's he is an idiot, could I?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>As long as you go away, that's the important thing. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts