Phillies Phan Posted April 22, 2001 Share Posted April 22, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by russellmz: ...the bts forum users complaint box. some of the complaint cards fell out and phillies tried to find a blank one to write a complaint about the complaint box. As he read them phillies said, "all these complaints are stupid!" gustav: "a complaint about the complaint box...delicious!" Mannheim Tanker: "well how stupid could they be?" phillies "Well, let's have a look here... You Suck... You Suck... Steve and Charles Rule... If you read this faq thread you are a dork... Coupon for one free kiss from maximus if you are a girl... Need more complaint cards... Coupon for one free kiss from maximus if you are a GUY... You will go on a journey happy long time ... mace is a perv... no I'm not... yes you are... no I'm not infinity... yes you are infinity plus one... and this one... I have doobie in my funk, which I assume is from some reference to the Parliament Funkadelic's song Chocolate City... You got peanut butter in my chocolate... you got chocolate in my peanut butter... together they taste like crap...MrSpkr has been staring at me all day - - - and I love it... and this one says, "I try to be good hard worker man... but thread so messy - so so messy..." Michael Dorosh: "i think that ones probably from the um... faq author." phillies: "Ohhh, oh then that one's legitimate.... uhhh, who's the black private dick who's the sex machine with all the chicks?.." everyone: "SHAFT!!" philles: "and... Help, I'm being held prisoner in in a complaint box." after seeing the faq author violating copyright law by stealing this bit from newsradio and watching the various goings on, philles found a blank card and wrote his own complaint... [ 04-22-2001: Message edited by: russellmz ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...and it read like this: To whom it might annoy. I've been frequenting your messageboard for some time now and I have to say that the service has been lousy. Your waitress smells like fish and is in bad need of a Tic-Tac. She/He has a nametag with the number 109. My friends and I are placing bets to find out it's sex and origin. The only time I get proper service is when I whistle and slap my thigh. Please give the gentleperson with the numerical username an attitude adjustment and a class on personal hygiene or I will create a thread called "I'm going away" or "Goodbye Wankers" or "See ya, Poopieheads" or "I could have been famous". ********************************************* After carefully writing out his complaint with his crayon, Phan dropped it into the box and sauntered off. Little did he realize that there was a malodorous malcontent dwelling nearby by the name of.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Phillies Phan: ...and it read like this: To whom it might annoy. I've been frequenting your messageboard for some time now and I have to say that the service has been lousy. Your waitress smells like fish and is in bad need of a Tic-Tac. She/He has a nametag with the number 109. My friends and I are placing bets to find out it's sex and origin. The only time I get proper service is when I whistle and slap my thigh. Please give the gentleperson with the numerical username an attitude adjustment and a class on personal hygiene or I will create a thread called "I'm going away" or "Goodbye Wankers" or "See ya, Poopieheads" or "I could have been famous". ********************************************* After carefully writing out his complaint with his crayon, Phan dropped it into the box and sauntered off. Little did he realize that there was a malodorous malcontent dwelling nearby by the name of....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Maximus, who was still upset his incestuous fantasies about his sister's breasts were ruined by Fillies' drinking binge. Maximus dug Fillies' complaint card out of the box. He was about to burn the complaint when . . . MrSpkr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: He was about to burn the complaint when . . .<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...he was distracted by the sudden arrival of a large number of penguins indulging in perhaps the largest orgy ever recorded (still, a lot of staying power these penguins). It wasn't what they were up to that was the distraction, but rather the site of many penguins slipping over on the many discarded coconuts scattered on the ground. "Hmmm! You know, that's pretty".... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cubbies Phan Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace: ...he was distracted by the sudden arrival of a large number of penguins indulging in perhaps the largest orgy ever recorded (still, a lot of staying power these penguins). It wasn't what they were up to that was the distraction, but rather the site of many penguins slipping over on the many discarded coconuts scattered on the ground. "Hmmm! You know, that's pretty"....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...funny, because just a few FAQ threads ago we were witnessing an assault force totally comprising of penquins until Mace counter-attacked with his ubertruppen pack of sheep. But it was then that the guy with the numerical username discovered his infactuation with fish. Somehow all of this became too much for the FAQ'ers to handle. So they began to.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
109 Gustav Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Cubbies Phan: So they began to....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> wonder what the hell was up with having both Cubbies and Phillies in the same thread. Were they related? Was this the result of inbreeding in Phillies's family? Were they going to fight? So many questions, so few... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maximus Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by 109 Gustav: wonder what the hell was up with having both Cubbies and Phillies in the same thread. Were they related? Was this the result of inbreeding in Phillies's family? Were they going to fight? So many questions, so few...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...fish to finger. However it isn't too surprising as Mace found that his sheep were getting over anxious for some action. But just then Cubbies Phan showed up and jumped into the FAQ out of nowhere confusing Gustav. Gustav just then figured it out, it's.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
russellmz Posted April 23, 2001 Author Share Posted April 23, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Maximus: ...fish to finger. However it isn't too surprising as Mace found that his sheep were getting over anxious for some action. But just then Cubbies Phan showed up and jumped into the FAQ out of nowhere confusing Gustav. Gustav just then figured it out, it's....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...so obvious. "i can say without a trace of irony that you are all out to get me!" the sheep, the endless stream of phans, the suddenly enthusiastic faq author, they were all (like in an agatha christie novel) trying to... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Dorosh Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by russellmz: ...so obvious. "i can say without a trace of irony that you are all out to get me!" the sheep, the endless stream of phans, the suddenly enthusiastic faq author, they were all (like in an agatha christie novel) trying to...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...stuff the complaints back in the box before anyone noticed they were missing. "Steve's too busy to notice anyhow," someone whispered. "Rumour has it..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Phan Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Michael Dorosh: ...stuff the complaints back in the box before anyone noticed they were missing. "Steve's too busy to notice anyhow," someone whispered. "Rumour has it..."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...that some chap will take over the thread and use words like honour, rumour, detour, and pleasour. Tea and scones will be the staples of the thread and we'll start our day with a nice jaunt through the countryside. Now, where did I put my "Best of Benny Hill" videos? Mr. Dourish exclaimed as he bit into some meat pie. I shan't be caught with my... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mannheim Tanker Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Phillies Phan: ...that some chap will take over the thread and use words like honour, rumour, detour, and pleasour. Tea and scones will be the staples of the thread and we'll start our day with a nice jaunt through the countryside. Now, where did I put my "Best of Benny Hill" videos? Mr. Dourish exclaimed as he bit into some meat pie. I shan't be caught with my...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...prodigee stuffing the complaint box! Wow! First a Phillies, and now a Cubbies! Next thing you know, we'll have a... EDIT: HTML. Too much shagging is harmful to your health [ 04-23-2001: Message edited by: Mannheim Tanker ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mannheim Tanker: ...prodigee stuffing the complaint box! Wow! First a Phillies, and now a Cubbies! Next thing you know, we'll have a... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...some chap, whose name rhymes with "Wanker", posting unfunny drivel. With that said Phillies Phan composed himself and ignited his phallic saber and steadied his stance preparing to square off with his evil arch-nemesis Cubbies Phan. With a commanding presence Philles Phan moved forward thrusting his... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: ...some chap, whose name rhymes with "Wanker", posting unfunny drivel. With that said Phillies Phan composed himself and ignited his phallic saber and steadied his stance preparing to square off with his evil arch-nemesis Cubbies Phan. With a commanding presence Philles Phan moved forward thrusting his...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> hot, pulsating . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mannheim Tanker Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: hot, pulsating . . .<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...schwartz... (Trivia Question: Anyone know which movie this is from?) BTW: 'Jeff' doesn't rhyme with 'Wanker' [ 04-23-2001: Message edited by: Mannheim Tanker ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mannheim Tanker: ...schwartz... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> back and forth, musing in his mind where that strange humming sound came from... But, not letting that distract him (for too long anyway) from his impending battle, he... [ 04-23-2001: Message edited by: Herr Oberst ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cubbies Phan Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst: back and forth, musing in his mind where that strange humming sound came from... But, not letting that distract him (for too long anyway) from his impending battle, he...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> summoned Yogurt to supply him with a swartz of his own. However, this swartz was not as long as the swartz that Dark Helmet had. But nonethe less, Phillies Phan thrusted forward with his hot pulsating swartz and accidently stricking..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mannheim Tanker Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Cubbies Phan: summoned Yogurt to supply him with a swartz of his own. However, this swartz was not as long as the swartz that Dark Helmet had. But nonethe less, Phillies Phan thrusted forward with his hot pulsating swartz and accidently stricking.....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...Gustav3Po instead of Cubbies. Gustav3po called out,"Master Phillie! We're doomed!" "Can it, Goldenrod," shouted Maxihand Solo. Looking over to Mace, he continued "It was you who got us into this in the first place, your highness!" Phillies regained his composure, did a back flip, grabbed his schwarz, and... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mannheim Tanker: ...Gustav3Po instead of Cubbies. Gustav3po called out,"Master Phillie! We're doomed!" "Can it, Goldenrod," shouted Maxihand Solo. Looking over to Mace, he continued "It was you who got us into this in the first place, your highness!" Phillies regained his composure, did a back flip, grabbed his schwarz, and...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> sat stunned for a moment as he recalled his opponent's sig. Fillies thought for a moment, then shouted, "CUBBIES IS AN IMPOSTER! Any real Cubs phan would know how to spell Harry Carey's name!" Maximus, thinking quickly (which was actually a new and slightly disorienting experience for him), crept up behind Cubbies and yanked the helmet off his head. Everyone gasped as they saw . . . [ 04-23-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Phan Posted April 24, 2001 Share Posted April 24, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: sat stunned for a moment as he recalled his opponent's sig. Fillies thought for a moment, then shouted, "CUBBIES IS AN IMPOSTER! Any real Cubs phan would know how to spell Harry Carey's name!" Maximus, thinking quickly (which was actually a new and slightly disorienting experience for him), crept up behind Cubbies and yanked the helmet off his head. Everyone gasped as they saw . . . [ 04-23-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...the FAQ thread almost fall off of the first page thus depriving the masses of the answers they have sought after for generations. The dwarf named 109 Goof-off was still wondering why he couldn't run with his machine gun and also why he couldn't get a date with his... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
russellmz Posted April 24, 2001 Author Share Posted April 24, 2001 ...right... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted April 24, 2001 Share Posted April 24, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by russellmz: ...right...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...hand, even though his left hand was always willing and able! In fact, it was always an honour for his left hand to perform its task of providing pleasour to Gustav. However rumour had it that the hand did like to take a detour to Gustav's throat every now and then and try to throttle him! It was said that his right hand would rather... (there ya go Phillies Phan, got the 4 words in! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted April 24, 2001 Share Posted April 24, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace: ...hand, even though his left hand was always willing and able! In fact, it was always an honour for his left hand to perform its task of providing pleasour to Gustav. However rumour had it that the hand did like to take a detour to Gustav's throat every now and then and try to throttle him! It was said that his right hand would rather...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> be somewhere else entirely -- preferably somewhere with a wealthy, kind, generous sort who did not see fit to jam the poor right hand into his trousers on a regular basis. Of course, with 109fish-boy, a "regular basis" meant . . . [ 04-24-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ] [ 04-24-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maximus Posted April 24, 2001 Share Posted April 24, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: be somewhere else entirely -- preferably somewhere with a wealthy, kind, generous sort who did not see fit to jam the poor right hand into his trousers on a regular basis. Of course, with 109fish-boy, a "regular basis" meant . . . <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...once a FAQ post. So with that 109 Fish-boy suddenly found himself rubbing and stroking feverously as Ba Ba Macesheep strolled into the room. Embarrassed, Gustav immediately said, "Hey Mace, quick, I need some wool. Where's your sheep?" Mace exclaimed, you ain't gettin' my sheep you nasty bastard, but... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Phan Posted April 24, 2001 Share Posted April 24, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Maximus: ...once a FAQ post. So with that 109 Fish-boy suddenly found himself rubbing and stroking feverously as Ba Ba Macesheep strolled into the room. Embarrassed, Gustav immediately said, "Hey Mace, quick, I need some wool. Where's your sheep?" Mace exclaimed, you ain't gettin' my sheep you nasty bastard, but...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...but we can trade for your cologne that makes you smell like trout. I have an extra dingo to eat your... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted April 24, 2001 Share Posted April 24, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Phillies Phan: ...but we can trade for your cologne that makes you smell like trout. I have an extra dingo to eat your...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> dangly bits if you try to welch out of this deal... So what is it jerky-boy, Wool for Cologne, or should we make it something more interesting... like a free weekend at Mace's House of Baaa's for... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted April 24, 2001 Share Posted April 24, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst: dangly bits if you try to welch out of this deal... So what is it jerky-boy, Wool for Cologne, or should we make it something more interesting... like a free weekend at Mace's House of Baaa's for...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> yet another display of bestial eroticism. Shaken by his comrades' obvious obsession with carnal knowledge and growing enthusiasm for agriculture and wildlife, Mannheim Babybuggypusher set out on his own path, determined to take the FAQ away from the vile lustings of these perverse folks and back to death, destruction and mayhem where it belongs. After thinking for a short while, he decided the first step should be to . . . MrSpkr [ 04-24-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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