russellmz Posted April 15, 2001 Share Posted April 15, 2001 new FAQ at http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=018688 <font color="AA0000"><big>Frequently Asked Questions (now with answers!)</big></font> also check out the <big><font color="0000BB">Combat Mission 2 FAQ </font></big> First off, Probably the Number One Most Frequently Asked Question How do I take a screenshot? "On a Mac press Command + Shift + 3. A file will appear on your hard disk called Picture 1. Subsequent screenshots take subsequent numbers. On a PC press Print Screen. This saves the screen to the clipboard. Then open Paint and use Ctrl + V to paste to a new document." -Big Ron Now then, Look at the FAQs! Also a very good search function is available above. It is sometimes quicker at answering your questions then waiting for a reply. (Thanks Dogface for the swell-tastic image! And updating it after the forum change!) Your best bet is CAR_12's excellent FAQ at his webpage(look for a FAQ link there) CAR_12's CM for Macs Webpage wargamer.com's FAQ, based on posts by Steve and Charles The Wargamer CM FAQ Big Time Software's CM FAQ(way out of date): Big Time Software's CM FAQ Mina's Combat Mission Site Combat-Mission.com FAQ's and also useful is the Terms page. <font color="BB0000"><big>Board Culture, Usage, and Vocabulary</big></font> How do I use the UBB Board? How to: o make smillies o change your profile o find out about setting preferences o clear cookie o and much more! How do I: o post urls and images o quoting messages o email o bold and italicize o bullets/lists o preserve formatting How do I look at the UBB with no frames? How do I become a member? You need to post 30 messages. How many posts do I have? Look at one of your messages. There is an icon of a face with a question mark. Hit that button to get your current number of posts. What's with all the Peng threads? After a certain while a Peng thread (aka the Cesspool) gets so big that the UBB crashes(bad). Hence, new Peng threads. Who moderates/represents the BTS BBS/company? Big Time Software(Steve or Charles), Madmatt, and KwazyDog. How do I get a link/image in my signature? Images are not allowed in your signature. Where can I test my signature? Just add a post to the end of a topic. People will understand. What's with all the "Hi Mom!" posts in certain threads? The moderators lock down threads that threaten to spiral out of control into flamefests. Posters who think this is going to happen sardonically post "Hi Mom!" since you want to say hi to mom before the thread's locked. What's with all the gerbil and hamster talk? Most probably from the SS are overpriced hamsters! thread. Now it's part of the board vernacular. What's an Uber Tank? The biggest and baddest tanks in the game. Mostly German, they are the heaviest tanks in the game, and are almost impervious to smaller enemy tanks. A few examples are the Tiger, Panther, Jumbo, and Pershing. There are others as well. What's a mod slut? Someone who always searches for, downloads, and uses new mods for the game. What's this abbreviation mean? o AP: armor piercing o HT: Half-track, an armored car with front wheels but tracks in the back. o ME: Meeting Engagement, a type of quick battle between two sides with equal number of purchase points. o MG: Machine gun. There is also HMG, MMG, LMG for heavy, medium, and light mg. o PBEM: Play By E-Mail, playing another human by sending turns through email o QB: Quick Battle, the random scenario generator What's tungsten? Tungsten is a very dense metal used even today in armor piercing shells. They are used very effectively against German tanks but are less available in the early months of the war. <font color="BB0000"><big>TCP/IP and PBEM</big></font> Where's the TCP/IP patch? <a href="http://www.battlefront.com/downloads/index.html">Da' Patch<a/>. Scroll down till you see Combat Mission in Patches. How do I find an opponent? There is an opponents forum at battlefront: CM Opponent Finder. Also try the Tournament House Gaming League and Combat Mission HQ chat rooms. How do I tell my IP address? 1) Use this URL: http://www.babygrrl.com/ip.shtml 2A) choose RUN from the Start menu and type "WINIPCFG". Then click one of the connection devices, and it will reveal your IP. 2B) If you are using Mac, look at the TCP/IP setting in the Control Panel. 3) Host a TCP/IP game, then your IP address is shown automatically.[last two from GriffinCheng+] How do I switch from TCP/IP to PBEM? How can I make PBEM easier? You have two major choices: the PBEM utility by Fuerte or CM: One Click to Combat by Kman. Both have been recieved positively by the CMers on this forum. What are Fionn's Short 75 / Panther-76 Rules? Fionn's Rules can be found here. They were rules set up to prevent every engagement from being an uber tank battle(ex. all King Tigers vs. all Super Pershings). How is scoring done? Also, additional explanation of exit points and killing units. <FONT color="BB0000"><big>Gameplay</big></font> How do I order infantry mounted on a vehicle to a fixed spot and disgorge the troops? Order the troops to move to the spot you want, and add some pauses so that it covers the time of the trip, plus command delay. Why did my embarked unit not get off that tank? Originally posted by kump: When you dismount, always dismount right next to the vehicle, somewhere close. If your dismount point is a good distance away from the mounted vehicle, the passengers will stay mounted, even with vehicles paused. They are waiting for the vehicle to approach close to the dismount point. So try it out. Pause the vehicle, plot it to move, and at the same time, plot the passenger to dismount right next to the vehicle. Then plot the passenger to move away. Turn vehicles off if the "embark" keeps happening when you try to dismount close. After following the above, I've ceased having dismount problems. See if it works for you. How do I get my vehicle to move away after is drops off it's passengers? "Additional notes to the above: you don't actually need to stop but you can't be moving at Fast speed. If you want to keep the vehicles moving (e.g.to get them out of harm's way quickly) you can shift them to Move speed briefly right at the point you want the troops to disembark. I find that having the vehicles turn around a bit at Move speed pretty much guarantees the infantry will have enough time to get out. It also helps if the disembark movement order for the infantry is to a point as close as possible to the vehicle's track. You can issue additional movement waypoints to get away from the vehicle if needed." -L.Tankersley How do I un-bog my vehicle? There is a chance that you will not un-bog at all. But the current feeling is to remove all movement orders of the vehicle and then have the vehicle back-up straight. What do asterisks on a building indicate? The building has suffered some damage if there is one star, and major damage if there are two. (You should evacuate any troops you have in a building with **) <font color="BB0000"><big>Reality</big></font> My King Tiger/Super Pershing/Uber tank missed fifteen times and got killed by a Stuart/Lynx/wuss tank! How did that happen? Sometimes bad luck happens, even in war. The little units may be computers but they act like men, so there will be screw-ups, chokes, and bad karma. On the technical side tanks have weak spots, poor armor quality, or even design flaws. Plus, the Allied tanks have and now use tungsten rounds in the new 1.1 patch, a major tank killer. When and where am I most likely to bog my tank? There was an unofficial test done to determine bogging probability. Originally posted by: joeri After thinking this over for a while I have made the following assumption on how it works: Chance of bogging is dependent on: - ground condition (unknown how but probably just how deeper the mud/snow the more chance) - terrain type (open terrain gives highest chance, then wheat, then brush, then scattered trees and lowest chance on roads) Movement order has no influence because when ground conditions are bad, the driver automatically takes the slowest possible speed. Exception is reverse which removes the chance of getting bogged (this is probably a bug). Based on these assumption best tactics in bad conditions would be (if roads are not available): - use reverse whenever no contact is expected (and you don't mind taking advantage of a possible bug). - use rough terrain like scattered trees and avoid open terrain when advancing to contact. Totally different from how I used to do it. How do I un-bog my vehicle? There is a chance that you will not un-bog at all and will be immobilized. But the current feeling is to remove all movement orders of the vehicle and then have the vehicle back-up straight. Do vehicles provide cover for infantry? Only if they are knocked out and burning because the smoke blocks line of sight(LOS). The calculations are too complex for CM to do it while the vehicles are on the move. How come my tank fired at a nearby target and died when nothing hit it? If the target was too close the main gun's blast knocked out the tank. You can check if this is so by clicking on the unit, pressing ENTER, and clicking "kills". The tank should list itself as a kill. How did a machine gun take out my tank? Depends on how close the machine gun was and it's ability to penetrate armor. Angle and armor quality also factors in. For example, a Hetzer's side armor cannot withstand a .50 caliber machinegun at medium to close range. (The .50 caliber was designed to take out light armor) Here is an example of the MG42 and .50 caliber's penetrating power: Why is the M16 MGMC Quad .50 AA vehicle not included? "BTS ran out of time. There is an official statement, and many discussions relating to this topic, and it brings forth a lot of passion amongst people." -Germanboy Do machine guns on vehicles jam or get damaged? No, but they may get knocked out if the main gun gets damaged. Can my tank fire its machine gun if it fired off all its heavy gun ammunition? Yes, if it has MG ammunition left. You can check this by clicking on the unit and hitting enter. Do machine guns jam or get damaged at all? Yes, a machine gun can indeed JAM. What's cool is that the gun crew can unJAM it given enough experience and time. Machine guns can also be immobilized. Why can't my light/heavy machine gun run? They have to carry the machine gun(heavy), spare gun barrels(a bit of weight), and ammo(really, really heavy). See the links so kindly provided by Lindan: spur of the moment complaining and David Aitken: Light MG 42's speed A human wave overran my position even though I had machine guns. Are they modelled properly? Basically, they are modelled fairly well, although they cannot be told to do some common techniques that stop human waves(grazing fire, fire arcs). Read especially the long BTS post by Steve on page 8 (yeah, page 8). How did that human wave attack succeed? The human wave succeeded for several reasons: o if it suffered a 40-60 percent loss, than that's not a good thing for the attacker, and hardly something for the enemy to cheer about o your machine guns were alone o your machine guns were right in the front line instead of being far back. They work best if the enemy is at least 300m away. o you told the machine gunner to target one unit in particular. Even if it breaks and runs away, it will ignore other squads running straight at it longer than if you left the machine gun to fire on it's own judgement. Why do the firepower stats not add up for some German squads? Most likely the squads have a light maching gun, the MG42, which requires two men to man. One soldier with a rifle will drop his rifle and help with the more deadly LMG. Does anyone know where one can get good topological maps of European battlefields? Of course, there is also Topozone. Where can I find maps of Omaha Beach? Why can't I have a roster of all my troops? Why isn't there white phosphorus in CM? "WP was, so far as our research shows, rare on the battlefield. Very few weapons could fire it, so right there we question if we should bother with it in the first place. And when used HE or Smoke could have done just a good of a job at CM's level." -Steve Why can't my artillery spotter hide and fire at the same time? It can. It will have reduced accuracy and longer response time. Why does the artillery clock countdown at 2 sec for every second in real time? That will happen if the oberver doesn't have a clear LOS. it will only move at 1 sec/1 sec if there is a clear LOS to the target. Unit experience also is a factor I believe. How much does it take to destroy a bridge? Generally wooden bridges blow up in a few turns. Stone bridges are tougher. The large heavy stone bridge needs 14 inch guns or 300mm rockets to destroy in any decent amount of time.] [ 04-25-2001: Message edited by: russellmz ] [ 04-27-2001: Message edited by: russellmz ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
russellmz Posted April 15, 2001 Author Share Posted April 15, 2001 <font color="BB0000"><big>Graphics</big></font> How do I take a screenshot? Possibly the most asked question. "On a Mac press Command + Shift + 3. A file will appear on your hard disk called Picture 1. Subsequent screenshots take subsequent numbers. On a PC press Print Screen. This saves the screen to the clipboard. Then open Paint and use Ctrl + V to paste to a new document." -Big Ron How do I change screen resolutions? "Go to the CMBO directory and delete the "prefs" file. When you restart CM, you will be able to change resolutions." -Doug Williams Why are there only three men max shown per squad? It takes too much computing power to show all 8-12 men. A lot of polygons go into those little men so tripling the number will tax almost any CPU/videocard. Why isn't a bloody corpse shown for every casualty? Again, too much computing power is required. Not only that but BTS felt that too much gore will detract from the game. Can we have sandbags in the foxhole graphics? Sorry no, the big, dark crater is the same picture as the foxhole picture. How can I make 3D rubble? Sorry, in CMBO it is a flat .bmp, not a 3D object. However you could place several roadblocks on top to simulate a pile of rubble, since they use the same bmp file. <font color="BB0000"><big>Mods & Sounds </big></font>Where can I get some cool mods? There are numerous places. Try this post, for beginner tips. The major mod palace is CMHQ. This is where most mods start off or wind up. Another place I go to is CM Outpost. Be sure to read this great article on CM mods, written by one of this board's very own members! And also at Manx's awesome COMBAT MISSIONS there is CM Mods for Newbies. Where can I find the desert mod? The Desert Fox Desert Rats mod is at http://www.dfdr.net/ Can I mod items that are hard-coded? No, sorry. ...items that are hard coded:<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>Unit bases<LI>Berrets<LI>Pistols<LI>On map mortars<LI>MG tripods<LI>Bazooka/Panzerschreck/PIATsThese are the items I remember straight off. There may be more... Cheers Olle</font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Muzzle flash and the building collapse shockwave/debris cloud are hard-coded as well. How do I change .bmp & .wav files to use on a Mac?"The Mac Combat Mission Mod Manager (MCMMM - MCM3 for short) and the MacMod Manager are both at CMHQ under third party dl's iirc." -jd How do I change that background grass that stretches to infinity? Where can I find a list of all the .bmp files?Right here. Grass tiles are .bmp files 1550-1569. Where can I find a sound map of the .wav files?The above link goes to a thread where I posted a general sound map. Scroll down till you see a listing... Why does the .wav file I added crackle and squeal in CM?The .wav file should be at Mono 16bit 44100 samples. Use a sound utility to make sure it has these properties. How do I change that really loud exit sound?Change file 00000171.wav and either use a computer sound recorder program to reduce the noise level or copy in a different sound like the sniper sound 00000410.wav or the "Taps" end of battle sound 00000129.wav. How do I change that really loud exit sound? Change file 00005010.wav and either use a computer sound recorder program to reduce the noise level or copy in a different sound like the sniper sound 00000410.wav. <font color="BB0000"><big>Scenario Editing and Work-arounds</big></font> How do I increase a scenario map to the South and West in the scenario editor? On the width and height buttons, hold SHIFT and click the height and width buttons to increase/decrease map to the south and west. Scenario Editing Guidelines Suggestions with comments, located in the Scenario Editing Forum. How do I: o generate a random map? There's an "Auto Generate" random map button at the top of the editor. o turn off the numbers indicating height in terrain mode? There's a "Don't Show Height" button at the top left of the editor. o add bocages, walls, hedges, etc.? There're more tiles than can be show in one screen. Hit the button with the down arrow above the tiles. o edit a unit? In the unit listing double-click the unit you wish to edit, or click the edit button at the bottom of the screen. o select unit positions Hit the "Preview" button near the top of the editor and place the units wherever you want on the map. o liiiive without yooooou? I waaant to knooow... How do I make reinforcements arrive in good order, rather than all jumbled up? "after placing the reinforcement marker on the map, hit CTRL-W or CTRL-V or CTRL-C and the units will enter in a Wedge, an inVerted wedge or Column (passengers embarked) formation respectively" -M Hofbauer How do I set the initial view for each side when the scenario starts? Before you exit the editor, move the camera to the view that you want the Allied player to see when the game starts. Then for the Axis player, press "\", no quotes (not the turn 180 degrees key, other slash), then set the camera view. Press GO! and then save it. How can I make 3D rubble? Sorry, in CMBO it is a flat .bmp, not a 3D object. However you could place several roadblocks on top to simulate a pile of rubble, since they use the same bmp file. How can I edit a vehicle so it is immobilized? No actual editor commands for that but I found a work arounds (I hereby claim credit for the rubble immobilization technique now and forever!). First, take the vehicle and padlock it exactly where you want. Go to the terrain editor and place a rubble or rough tile on top. The vehicle can still rotate, but it can't move out. How can I put a gun in a house? Same as above, place unit where you want, then put a terrain tile over it.[note:I haven't tested the effectiveness of the gun in the house, so be warned] How can I edit a vehicle unit so it is gun damaged? Edit the unit so it has no ammo. How can I edit a unit so it has wounded? Use split squads and make some of them shaken. That's the best idea I heard as of yet. How do I make the AI attack more aggressively? How is scoring done? Also, additional explanation of exit points and killing units. <font color="BB0000"><big>Misc</big></font> <A HREF="http://www.battlefront.com/discuss/Forum1/HTML/014130.html" TARGET=_blank>When will my copy get here? </A>"Answer is that normally it takes about 3-5 days for an order to arrive in the US, about 10-15 elsewhere." -Steve Also says it takes 2-4 times longer during the holiday season. Not to mention that BTS sometimes runs out of stock due to demand. Overseas can be even longer: for example, three weeks for Finland. Where can I find a list of units with statistics? "go to the Dogs of War website at: http://members.tripod.com/johnnocmdow/ halfway down the page on the left are links for different catagories of units, just about anything you could want." -Silvio Manuel Chris' CM Scenarios and Unit Database Charts also has CM statistics (go to bottom of page). What's the latest patch? That would be v1.12. Be sure to get it here. There will be no other patches as CM2 is now being worked on. How can I watch all the movies together? You probably can't. Unless you do PBEM(which saves movie files) you can't save movie files since a saved turn has a different outcome each time. If you do have PBEM files, KMan made a PC utility that works on some computers to play all the files. What books do you recommend for WWII weapons and armor? Thanks to all who post answers to questions so I can just post a link to it, the CM webmasters, and of course, the FAQ bumpers, who have fancy plans, and pants to match. <small>Feel free to copy, post, and modify it elsewhere (so long as it still has the correct answers). Please email any comments, suggestions, and especially corrections to rmz5@cornell.edu </small> <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy: IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT BEFORE READING ON!!!!! The only post truly worth reading is the first one. All the other posts are a public service mostly provided by people from the Peng Thread to keep the first post afloat. If you have any moral/legal/tastal/mammal or any other issues with the Peng Thread and its occupants, please refrain from reading on, since even JD Morse will not be able to get damages for you in that case. We will write a harmless story and promise to try very hard to behave and self-police this. Honest. If you read on, you have been warned, don't come a-crying later. continued from remains of other FAQ... <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Eat all the mushrooms he found there. This tended to screw up what few thoughts ran through his head, but Maximus didn't really care, because... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> [ 04-25-2001: Message edited by: russellmz ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maximus Posted April 15, 2001 Share Posted April 15, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Eat all the mushrooms he found there. This tended to screw up what few thoughts ran through his head, but Maximus didn't really care, because...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...he suddenly discovered that the United States really didn't apologize to the Chinese for the air collision incident. But in reality, the US only apologized for landing in Chinese territory. Because why should you apologize for some stupid hot shot jockey pilot who thought he was Tom Cruise in Top Gun. When in fact this whole sort of episode happens all of the time and it only transpired this way because of said pilot. Anyway, GriffenCheng+ was suddenly confused about all of this international intrigue when he.... [ 04-14-2001: Message edited by: Maximus ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted April 15, 2001 Share Posted April 15, 2001 bumped into Maximus, who was putting on his trousers after his waltz in the woods. "My word!" Griffinchengchangwallawallabingbang+/- SAID. "You have a . . ." MrSpkr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted April 15, 2001 Share Posted April 15, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: "You have a . . ." <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ....F8 Chinese jet fighter flying not more than 2mm off your port wing!" "But I am not an electronic-surveillance aircraft, I am a human being" responded Maximus. With this revelation, the Chinese fighter pilot awoke to the fact that his aircraft had been stationary for some time just off Maximus' left shoulder and thus incapable of generating any lift. "Maximus, you are one gamey SOB" thought the Chinese pilot as his jet dropped suddenly to the ground. Not much later, Maximus received an official letter from the Chinese Government demanding that he... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mannheim Tanker Posted April 15, 2001 Share Posted April 15, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace: ....F8 Chinese jet fighter flying not more than 2mm off your port wing!" "But I am not an electronic-surveillance aircraft, I am a human being" responded Maximus. With this revelation, the Chinese fighter pilot awoke to the fact that his aircraft had been stationary for some time just off Maximus' left shoulder and thus incapable of generating any lift. "Maximus, you are one gamey SOB" thought the Chinese pilot as his jet dropped suddenly to the ground. Not much later, Maximus received an official letter from the Chinese Government demanding that he...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...apologize for subjecting the rest of the forum to his nudity. My God, man, at least put on a... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maximus Posted April 15, 2001 Share Posted April 15, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mannheim Tanker: ...apologize for subjecting the rest of the forum to his nudity. My God, man, at least put on a...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...hat! But then as the Chinese pilot began to tumble out of the sky, he failed to think about ejecting, for we are talking about Chinese pilots here. Everyone knows that Chinese pilots are the instigators in International Affairs. Remember they stuck their nose in Korea back in 1950. However that still doesn't explain... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
109 Gustav Posted April 15, 2001 Share Posted April 15, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Maximus: However that still doesn't explain...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Why Maximus had also left his sporran at home, along with his... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maximus Posted April 16, 2001 Share Posted April 16, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by 109 Gustav: Why Maximus had also left his sporran at home, along with his...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...Mace blow-up doll. Becuase all Maximus ever wanted to do was to screw over every one of the FAQ posters with his politically charged FAQ story. Anyway, when Gustav came back he... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Commissar Posted April 16, 2001 Share Posted April 16, 2001 ...said "Oh ****e, so that Commi freak is posting here again". This produced groans of annoyance from everyone, with the exception of Mace's sheep, which trotted up and with a look of pure pleasure... [ 04-15-2001: Message edited by: The Commissar ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LGMB Posted April 16, 2001 Share Posted April 16, 2001 Soldier, ....exploded into small blistering pestauls of goo apon seeing Mace, but this led to the ultimite...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foobar Posted April 16, 2001 Share Posted April 16, 2001 downward spiral of spelling accuracy, due to the lack of a spell checker on the new forum, leading Maximus to work himself into a lather, whenever someone happens to misspell werds lyke ultimite, and taunting Rob/1 with phrases like........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
russellmz Posted April 16, 2001 Author Share Posted April 16, 2001 ..."bad clown making like super american car racers, I would make them sweat, war war!" Then rob/1 sez: "but rob/1 has fear? a thousand times no. i never doubted myself for a minute for i knew that my monkey strong bowels were girded with strength like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo... dung. glorious sunset of my heart was fading. soon the super karate monkey death car would park in my space. but rob/1 has fancy plans... and pants to match. the monkey clown horrible karate round and yummy like cute small baby chick would...beat the donkey." either that was maximus of rob/1, i forget. then the FAQ split in two like an ameoba and max and rob/1 both exclaimed... [ 04-17-2001: Message edited by: russellmz ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted April 16, 2001 Share Posted April 16, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by russellmz: ..."bad clown making like super american car racers, I would make them sweat, war war!" Then rob/1 sez: "but rob/1 has fear? a thousand times no. i never doubted myself for a minute for i knew that my monkey strong bowels were girded with strength like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo... dung. glorious sunset of my heart was fading. soon the super karate monkey death car would park in my space. but rob/1 has fancy plans... and pants to match. the monkey clown horrible karate round and yummy like cute small baby chick would...beat the donkey." either that was maximus of rob/1, i forget. then the FAQ split in two like an ameoba and max and rob/1 both exclaimed...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> "Man, Ivy League students really can't handle their beer! Where in the heck did rustle-dmz come up with this crap?" The pair wandered off to contemplate What It All Meant. Of course, everyone else knew exactly What It All Meant: Exactly Nothing! Meanwhile, back on the farm, Maximus and Mace were giving 109Gustav a hard time about . . . [ 04-16-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mannheim Tanker Posted April 16, 2001 Share Posted April 16, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: "Man, Ivy League students really can't handle their beer! Where in the heck did rustle-dmz come up with this crap?" The pair wandered off to contemplate What It All Meant. Of course, everyone else knew exactly What It All Meant: Exactly Nothing! Meanwhile, back on the farm, Maximus and Mace were giving 109Gustav a hard time about . . . [ 04-16-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...trying to pick up chicks on a Danish Whaler. LOL! He'd probably have better luck there than his usual haunt, the... (Aside: ROTF Russel! Great imitation...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
109 Gustav Posted April 16, 2001 Share Posted April 16, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mannheim Tanker: ...trying to pick up chicks on a Danish Whaler. LOL! He'd probably have better luck there than his usual haunt, the... (Aside: ROTF Russel! Great imitation...)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> CMHQ chat, where Gustav had spent most of Saturday night. Still, this was better than Mannheim ManureCart's hangout, a bar in Key West, where he frequently tried to pick up hot "girls" with names like... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
russellmz Posted April 16, 2001 Author Share Posted April 16, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by 109 Gustav: CMHQ chat, where Gustav had spent most of Saturday night. Still, this was better than Mannheim ManureCart's hangout, a bar in Key West, where he frequently tried to pick up hot "girls" with names like...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...Lola, L-O-L-A Lola, lo lo lo Lola Well, Gus' not the world's most physical guy, but when she squeesed him tight she nearly broke his spine Oh Lola, lo lo lo Lola, lo lo lo Lola Well, he's not dumb but he can't understand why she walks like a woman and... (aside:thnx! the "super karate monkey death car" always brings a laugh) [ 04-17-2001: Message edited by: russellmz ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Commissar Posted April 16, 2001 Share Posted April 16, 2001 ...has a 3 o'clock shadow. Or is that 9 o'clock? What is it with these o'clocks anyway, he pondered? Suddenly, it dawned upon him that the answer was hidden amongst... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted April 16, 2001 Share Posted April 16, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The Commissar: ...has a 3 o'clock shadow. Or is that 9 o'clock? What is it with these o'clocks anyway, he pondered? Suddenly, it dawned upon him that the answer was hidden amongst...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> all those lectures Mom and Dad gave him as a young lad. Unfortunately, Mannheim Edsel had giggled far too much during these "talks" and missed at least half of the message. "Oh well," he thought. "I guess the only way to find the answer is to . . . " MrSpkr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maximus Posted April 16, 2001 Share Posted April 16, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: all those lectures Mom and Dad gave him as a young lad. Unfortunately, Mannheim Edsel had giggled far too much during these "talks" and missed at least half of the message. "Oh well," he thought. "I guess the only way to find the answer is to . . . "<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...ask Rob/1 what the color the incoming and outgoing tracers are. Or is that what color the Allied and Axis tracers are? Hell I don't don't which! Anyway..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted April 17, 2001 Share Posted April 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Maximus: ...Anyway.....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...an interstellar invasion fleet of 5000 starships was poised behind the opposite side of the moon awaiting for the ideal time to commence the invasion of Earth, to inslave humanity and to access a precious resource not available to the invaders, the... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted April 17, 2001 Share Posted April 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace: ...an interstellar invasion fleet of 5000 starships was poised behind the opposite side of the moon awaiting for the ideal time to commence the invasion of Earth, to inslave humanity and to access a precious resource not available to the invaders, the...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> SS Hamster-Grenadiers! The invaders wanted the nasty and expensive, yet useless, little vermin to . . . [ 04-16-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
109 Gustav Posted April 17, 2001 Share Posted April 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: SS Hamster-Grenadiers! The invaders wanted the nasty and expensive, yet useless, little vermin to . . . ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Drive the Kreigsmarine Voles out of the garden, where they were... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Commissar Posted April 17, 2001 Share Posted April 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by 109 Gustav: Drive the Kreigsmarine Voles out of the garden, where they were...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...poised with 5000 mole ships behind the largest pumpkin they could find, awaiting the right moment when they could commence in a Blitzkrieg upon the unsuspecting dung beatles of the maneuver pile. Speaking of maneuvre... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maximus Posted April 17, 2001 Share Posted April 17, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The Commissar: ...poised with 5000 mole ships behind the largest pumpkin they could find, awaiting the right moment when they could commence in a Blitzkrieg upon the unsuspecting dung beatles of the maneuver pile. Speaking of maneuvre...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...and gamey techniques, Mace's sheep and Gustav's fish showed up to help with the defense of the earth from the 5000 ships of SS Hamstertruppen. But that was nothing when it come to maneuverist tactics, because it was really maneuverist when.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts