Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man, Play the Peng Challenge For Me

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

The rest of you, chime in as your own lack of shame moves you. As though we could prevent it short of direct Heavenly intervention.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Why is it I never understand a stinkin' thing you say? (note: sig is still longer than post, so SOD OFF)

[Lars]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Originally posted by Gilligan (no bolding before it’s time):

That sounds fair enough, Xia, so by way of getting with the program I'm posting, IN the CessPool, right now, and it's wafting in your general direction. Hear! YOUR GAMEY SQUIRE LARS has let some conscript, pimply-faced German teenager pop one of my AFVs in our match. Outrageous! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That’s what pimply faced teenagers do, pop things. Is it my fault you don’t wash your Shermans regularly?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Doesn't he know that historically those faust-toting tots were only good for filling foxholes with fecal matter? Haven't you taught him this, being the guardian of tradition that you purport to be? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That’s what they’re doing. Stuffing foxholes full of fecal matter, which would be YOU. Even green troops have enough training for that.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

If my sense of honor and duty [digging frantically through all his pockets...oh there it is] didn't prohibit take-backs, I would demand that our last turn be annulled and replayed. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You don’t have a sense of honor and duty, so quit playing in your pockets.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

At least I hope and pray Lars reads it here before seeing the movie, to make the kill go flat like a dead beer.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

*Gasp* You mention sacriligious things like flat BEER? Here? In the MBT? Is there is something wrong with you?. I hates you - lots.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

And there are some minor redeeming qualities to the movie...for example next time the outerboarders query Anyone have any success with flamethrowers on the attack??? I'll be there to tell them 'you betcha.' Hear that Lars? Two words: crispy....critters.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I didn’t think green troops would burn. BTW congrats on your unofficial elevation to Squire/Serf/Pissboy. You are eminently under-qualified for the position, whatever the position turns out to be. Now go get the piss bucket and put those troops out.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

A few turns ago, my armor got all lined up and pounded his guys for about a turn and a half. I mean it was get-the-headphones time, turn on high res smoke/explosions and enjoy. Sancho's guys are broken and running and finally, in a lull I hear a pathetic little German voice warble out of the smoke, fire and dust 'Da! Feindisher Panzer!' The realization dawned on that guy just a wee bit late 'fyask me.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Much like realization dawns on PanzerLeader himself. I see he still hasn’t mastered (or even conceived of) the use of a smokescreen to cover his troops. Pity. At least he has the “RUN AWAY” part down pat. Pray continue.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Originally posted by Torquemada Joe:

LARS, oh LARS warm up the braziers lad<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

My Liege Shaw, do you still want the brassieres stroked? I’m always ready (and I mean really, really ready in this case) to serve.

{edited due to the usual UBB screwups}

[ 09-05-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]

[Wesreidau]

You lot are all rather silly.

So some of you are going to have to send Setups.

waving my pointy stick of pointyness at Sneezy in particular who has never experienced the groin churning pain of loosing to me.

I see there are some new people here. So i shall ignore new people and challenge Hachu kinnkyo because he is a damn yank.

PeterNZ

dynamo@pobox.com for your suplications

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer:

You lot are all rather silly.

So some of you are going to have to send Setups.

PeterNZ

dynamo@pobox.com for your suplications<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Good. Your back. How about my file Boyo. I thought my tanks were going to rust waiting for your return.

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

So, Berli, what say you to a Deputization? An Inquisitor General pro tempore, as it were? While Meeks is playing whist with Walt Disney and Elvis Presley, Shaw shall maintain the power, prestige, and activities of the office, until Meeks returns to take up his duties?

[ 09-05-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Only is we can refer to Shaw as Deputy Dogg.

[Wesreidau]

Marlow, I can't find your file, send again

ta

PeterNZ

[Ralph Beaman]

Uh! I am kind of new, to the helm of CM, should i be scared of the challenge of PENG!!! Who is he? What does he want? WHY DO I HEAR ABOUT HIM ON EVERY CM WEBSITE!

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally spewed by Vomitous Reproductive Strand

Uh! I am kind of new, to the helm of CM, should i be scared of the challenge of PENG!!! Who is he? What does he want? WHY DO I HEAR ABOUT HIM ON EVERY CM WEBSITE!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh look! A virgin! (Down Bauhaus - I MEAN it this time!)

Ahem.

Peng is an interesting subject for research. I suggest you inform yourself on the matter by reading all 5000+ prior posts to this, the One True Thread, then prepare a report, 45 pages minimum, single spaced, on "Why Peng Is" in triplicate.

There now, no need to look confused -- the materials are just off thataway (points towards exit).

Yes, that's right. . . there you go.

(brushes hands together)

Well, that takes care of that.

[edited to confuse SSN's more]

[ 09-05-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Torquemada Joe: LARS, oh LARS warm up the braziers lad

My Liege Shaw, do you still want the brassieres stroked? I’m always ready (and I mean really, really ready in this case) to serve.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Damn it Lars have you been hanging around Dame YK2's washline again? I've TOLD you about those filmy nothings you bring home on the pretext that they "dropped" and you were returning them and it's ... OH ... no lad, it's Braziers you see, the large wok like thingamabobs with the hot coals in them? The ones you have to keep stoking (not STROKING, stoking)? You ... you haven't been hanging around with Sir Bauhaus have you lad? He's a bad influence you know.

On a different note, we need MORE AARs on the Arty Fest '45 battle. It sounds like you're pounding the snot out of Juardis, to be expected of course, you being a Senior Squire and, obviously, MY squire to boot ... no, no, lad no need to cringe like that I'm not putting the boot in, it's just an expression. But MORE AARs, we want the full descriptions.

Joe

[Speedbump]

Well today has just been crappy all around. What better way to segue into

Updates:

MrSpnkr, (note to the audience: although raised in the ways of good Sir Joe, who does not play games with MBT member's handles, I make the exception for Spnkr.) I hates you, and by extension all of Texas and Oklahoma. Only a pernicious itinerant such as yourself would take such glee in the extermination of the barely pubescent teenagers Berli so kindly gave me in our little joust. (note to the audience: it is interesting that I can no longer find record of this scenario on Der Kessel or any of the scenario depots. Can we say Gamey?)

Note to Spnkr: Nebraska 2-0

dalem, I hates you, a little less than Spnkr, but I still hates you. Anyone who would use a 'zook to kill a JagdPanther is just not cricket. Then you go and let the 'zook crew get killed. I was trying to rush the JagdPanther crew at them, but they died-a-lot too fast.

Considering I seem to control the center of the map, and have the only remaining (it seems) armor left this game should end as it should with your utter destruction.

DekeFentle, although this is our first game, I can with all confidence say, I hates you too. Somehow, my brilliantly designed attack has stalled. I fear that you have not shown me all your troops. You are also an impatient lout.

Pawbroon, I hates you in a way that only an American can hate a Frenchman. After 4 weeks of vacation, you send me a note that says, "Would you believe that I forgot I was playing you?" The answer is NO. You were probably hungover, tired from your inefficient use of time (5 weeks of vacation is just wrong, unless they were mine...), or you remembered that you were whipping your poor Americans into the teeth of my defenses.

armornut, who?

[Panzer Leader]

Wait a minute, wasn't PeterNZer's badly mutialted corpse found in a shallow ditch near Miller's Crossing? I could've sworn I saw Berli and Bauhaus tramping through the cess late one night with a pair of shovels, a feral look, and PeterNZer's tele-tubby dolls.

It seems that the old ones are being drawn back into the Mutha Beautiful like moths to a candle.

What evil force is leading this conglomeration? I smell the portents of war...

Could it be ...Meeks?

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedbump:

MrSpnkr, (note to the audience: although raised in the ways of good Sir Joe, who does not play games with MBT member's handles, I make the exception for Spnkr.) I hates you, and by extension all of Texas and Oklahoma. Only a pernicious itinerant such as yourself would take such glee in the extermination of the barely pubescent teenagers Berli so kindly gave me in our little joust. (note to the audience: it is interesting that I can no longer find record of this scenario on Der Kessel or any of the scenario depots. Can we say Gamey?)[/QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

What is it called?

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

What is it called?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

"A Long and Bloody Mile." Involves a company (-) of Canucks supported by about half-a-dozen tanks attacking what I think is a couple of weakened German companies, consisting mainly of conscript and green infantry. Map is long and narrow, with a village at one end, followed by some hedgerows and requisite wheatfields, then a small stream or river. Set in June 1944.

Loads of fun, unless you are the Germans.

[PawBroon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedbump:

PawBroon, I hates you in a way that only an American can hate a Frenchman. After 4 weeks of vacation, you send me a note that says, "Would you believe that I forgot I was playing you?" The answer is NO. You were probably hungover, tired from your inefficient use of time (5 weeks of vacation is just wrong, unless they were mine...), or you remembered that you were whipping your poor Americans into the teeth of my defenses.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And you're not even stating the obvious.

Maybe you're still to notice you're loosing this one?

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

"A Long and Bloody Mile." <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The reason you do not find mention of it at Der Kessel is that you are playtesting it

[Lars]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

"A Long and Bloody Mile." Involves a company (-) of Canucks supported by about half-a-dozen tanks attacking what I think is a couple of weakened German companies, consisting mainly of conscript and green infantry. Map is long and narrow, with a village at one end, followed by some hedgerows and requisite wheatfields, then a small stream or river. Set in June 1944.

Loads of fun, unless you are the Germans.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Or unless you are Gilligan.

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

The reason you do not find mention of it at Der Kessel is that you are playtesting it<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, I would probably guess it is slightly biased in favor of the Canucks if Speedbump was not in charge of the Germans.

[David Aitken]

I don't know if PawBroon has got the final file yet (his ISP said he was a failure and refused to deliver it), but I kicked his French backside all the way down the Chunnel, either west or east depending on whether you consider himself or the troops he was commanding. 'Twas mutiny, according to rune, in which case PB is in for a spot of bother back at HQ for disobeying orders and allowing his forces to be obliterated. Something tells me the score was 80-20, but I can't be sure, so I'll leave it up to my esteemed (or at least steamed) opponent to contradict me if he sees fit.

That leaves Lawyer as my only opponent, if you discount the frozen games of Messrs. Biermann, Day, Hirschi and Meeks. I shall not be embarking upon any new games, as in three weeks (if I survive that long) I shall be leaving the country, and possibly not touching any computer game for a long time. The only reason I feel inclined to keep the computer itself is that it cost me a lot of money and I can probably use it for computer-type stuff. Combat Mission, however, falls into the game category and therefore becomes forbidden fruit because.

I may also have to proceed without the benefit of loud music, which is roughly on a par with being forced to listen to nothing but Britney Spears and the Spice Girls. If I survive until my relocation, I shall most certainly be dead within another three weeks. There are, however, certain tradeoffs involved which may ease the transition, such as BEING SURROUNDED BY 18-YEAR-OLD GIRLS, but I have yet to warm to such human customs as would enable me to take full advantage of the situation.

I would blame you lot for the fine mess you've gotten us into, but I know you're only puppets of the CIA and other such organisations who prey on pathetic loners for their own pernicious ends. For example, I can identify MarkIV as the man on the grassy knoll. You know no better, and if Bill Gates ever accidentally mails me the rights to Planet Earth, I may see fit to free you from your slavery. Right after I've knocked this ball of rock off its axis and into the Sun where it belongs.

As you were.

[Lars]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Damn it Lars have you been hanging around Dame YK2's washline again? I've TOLD you about those filmy nothings you bring home on the pretext that they "dropped" and you were returning them and it's ... OH ... no lad, it's Braziers you see, the large wok like thingamabobs with the hot coals in them? The ones you have to keep stoking (not STROKING, stoking)? You ... you haven't been hanging around with Sir Bauhaus have you lad? He's a bad influence you know.

On a different note, we need MORE AARs on the Arty Fest '45 battle. It sounds like you're pounding the snot out of Juardis, to be expected of course, you being a Senior Squire and, obviously, MY squire to boot ... no, no, lad no need to cringe like that I'm not putting the boot in, it's just an expression. But MORE AARs, we want the full descriptions.

Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hot Emma’s in the brasseries? Oh, hot embers in the braziers, my mistake. At once, Sire. I’ll just put these back on the line then, beg pardon, Dame Emma.

My Liege, Juardis is sadly lacking in the (among others) file returning department. Perhaps tonight he will have comprehended the profundity of that modern marvel, e-mail, and I will have something to report.

Thank you for sparing the Boot

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lars:

Thank you for sparing the Boot<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Not only is Joe an idiot, but now we have proof that he is soft! And Seanachai wanted to replace Meeks with this?!

[Berlichtingen]

Mensch!

If Joe didn't already hold the title, I would name you Idiot

[ Edited 'cus I can ]

[ 09-05-2001: Message edited by: Berlichtingen ]

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Mensch!

If Joe didn't already hold the title, I would name you Idiot

[ Edited 'cus I am dumb ]

[ 09-05-2001: Message edited by: Berlichtingen ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

wow..er...

I used to make snakes out of clay. The hardest part was doing the legs.

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by the self styled Grand Impersonator poo-Tempura:

Sir Joe Shaw, Grand Inquisitor pro-Tempore ... ah yes, mighty fine ... LARS, oh LARS warm up the braziers lad, there's work to be done ... Bwahahahahha<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

See. I told you this was a bad idea. Now we've really given him license to act like an idiot.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

I simply CANNOT take on any more games at present. I am WAY over my limit and don't want to play YOU anyway ... you probably play with FOW off and therefore you may feel free to FOW OFF! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Jo you worthless nog. I always knew you were a coward at heart. Hiding behind your grandious titles of Persecutor of the Dead or Grand Incontinent Torpid Poobah or whatever, and hiding behind your Lackies Lardass and MrSpkr (really MrSpnkr, how unseemly for a full fledged Knigget to be the toady of Comrade Xia). The Great Jo Xia has not the time for the killing and entrail ripping that are the reason for our very existence. Instead, you prance about like some la-dee-da poofta spouting off about red brassieres and stroking things and other such gibberish.

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Well, I would probably guess it is slightly biased in favor of the Canucks if Speedbump was not in charge of the Germans.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

SPOILER

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Slightly? Son, I haven't seen that many Germans running since I first played Jabo!

You have six tanks, I have zero 'shrecks, zero 100 'fausts, zero 60 'fausts, some 30 'fausts which were good for throwing down as soon as the firing started!

Other than that, a very fine scenario!

Speedbump

{edited 'cause I don't want to make the evil one angry for no spoiler}

{edited again 'cause I like hitting the period key}

[ 09-05-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ]

[ 09-05-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ]

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:

wow..er...

I used to make snakes out of clay. The hardest part was doing the legs.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmmm... you may actually be more qualified for the title of Idiot than Joe.