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Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man, Play the Peng Challenge For Me


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Actually, I am sleepy, but the heart felt cries of a former Squire cannot be ignored. Time, I suppose, for another incarnation of the Eternal Thread. Rules are by the book, and out of the can.

ALROIGHT, THEN! HEADS UP, MOUTHS CLOSED, AND LISTEN TO THE OFFICER, YOU LOT!

The Rules of the Peng Challenge Thread are quite straightforward, really. Astonishingly simple, in fact, in a complex world.

First off, no one here likes you, has any desire to know you, and, in fact, the entire sodding Universe doesn't give a stuff what you want or have to say. Go Away.

Should you remain on despite the first rule, we next wish you to know that coming in, striking a pose, and challenging everyone in the Thread to a match will cause the wastelands to echo with laughter, and you will look like the stupid pillock you are. You will then be told to Go Away, more forcibly, and people will really begin to mean it. Pick someone out, preferably something as newly arrived and worthless as yourself, taunt and challenge it, and you might get a game.

Next, you should sound off as though your wit, courage, and intelligence were not in question. In the vulgate, Sound Off As Though You've Got a Pair! I believe it is. Oh, and more than half a brain, please. If you sound off well, wittily, and with great force of person and humour, you may be accorded a measure of respect here, perhaps for the first time in your doubtless tawdry little life. It's something to look forward to.

Finally, while sounding off, we'd like you to remember that this is the Peng Challenge Thread, not your local boozer where every vulgarity, expletive, and prejudicial slur are met by howls of laughter from halfwits who are only 15 minutes and 3 drinks away from spending the night in Detox. We have standards here, whether you can follow the concept or not, and if you ignore or trample them, you will not only be told to Go Away, you will Go Away, both from here, and hopefully the Forum in general.

Now, that's our simple rules, told in an unsimple way and at great length. Shortly another of the inmates will probably be along to revile me, and repost them in a shorter and easier to understand version.

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Thanx!

Hey, on the subject of humour, I nominate Mark IV as the funniest guy around. ...moved to the General Ignorum.. ha! that was rich.

"You're funny."

"You think I'm funny?"

"Yeah."

"I'm a funny guy, huh?"

"Well, uh yeah."

You think I'm a clown, is that it?

Sorry, never mind, I don't know the quote after all.

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And if you don't mind, (you do? so much the better) I'll post my first challenge here. If you can't understand what I'm saying, go commercial fishing for a year, assuming you can find anyone outside of a fast food joint who will hire you.

Mace, you limp wristed, brailer bag sniffing offspring of a white-gilled humpy, I hereby challenge you to a game. Under normal circumstances I would have chosen a more worthy opponent, but alas, I won't be picking any more pollock out of the net for a year, so you will have to do. I know this is asking a lot, but please do me a favor and at least make an attempt at winning. I suppose you can have your sheep help on the hard parts. Now send me a file or crawl back into the fish tote where you obviously belong!

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy:

Just looking at this makes me wish the Antelope would have aimed better. Where's the Grog Porn™?

In honour of Elvis: Tossers.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sigh...Always with the negative waves, Andreas!

Good to see your smiling face again. Did you know that my Landsmann and The French allowed a Million German POWs to die during the war through starvation?

Well, not actually my Landsmann, as I don't think Minnesotans were totally to blame. I think it was the Americans that allowed it to happen.

Could I buy you dinner some time? Or even lunch? I'm working off an enormous burden of guilt, here.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Good to see your smiling face again. Did you know that my Landsmann and The French allowed a Million German POWs to die during the war through starvation?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yeah - you lot have something to answer for. Ethan has started to make amends by being generous about buying drinks. If he posts more Grog Porn™, you may just be forgiven.

Does not Fargo play in Minnesota? Would explain why Minnesotans were not involved, they would not be able to find the way out of their state, judging by their average denseness in that no doubt documentary movie, let alone mass-murder POWs. Especially if there are no woodchippers around.

I liked the former Panzergrenny bawling at you - we have a saying in the Bundeswehr: 'Er ist kein Mensch, er ist kein Tier, er ist ein Panzergrenadier'. Run it through Babelfish, or learn German.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy:

Yeah - you lot have something to answer for. Ethan has started to make amends by being generous about buying drinks. If he posts more Grog Porn™, you may just be forgiven.

Does not Fargo play in Minnesota? Would explain why Minnesotans were not involved, they would not be able to find the way out of their state, judging by their average denseness in that no doubt documentary movie, let alone mass-murder POWs. Especially if there are no woodchippers around.

I liked the former Panzergrenny bawling at you - we have a saying in the Bundeswehr: 'Er ist kein Mensch, er ist kein Tier, er ist ein Panzergrenadier'. Run it through Babelfish, or learn German.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sod that, I know enough German not to have to revert to Babelfish.

He's no man, he's no animal, he's a Panzergrenadier.

Also, I suggest as a translation for your Grandmother's saying, which I was thinking on tonight:

"What you shout into the forest, echoes back at you".

Elvis, make note of the above wise old German saying.

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Now just wait a flea-blown kangaroo minute!!!!

I can't recall the voice of doom saying it was time to lock up the previous thread, so I accuse this thread of a false start.

And a message to that SSN that poked his head in and slapped me with a fish (is that a salmon in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?), there are certain standards within the pool. These are:

12378.122.90 alpha) A mighty Kinnigit (me) does not have to lower himself to duel with some ...some... fish monger (mongrel? -> you).

e=mc^2) A mighty Kinnigit doesn't even have to acknowledge the existance of fish scourers (ie you). I will however stop for sheep.

So, fish guts, you can either challenge someone closer to your MBT status - toads, slugs, maggots or other insignificant entities, or we meet behind the shelter shed outside the pool. I'll leave the cesspool armour and my coat of arms behind.

So, fishy flatulent one, you best decide then send me an email of your choice. I will then hose it down to get rid of that fish smell and respond.

Mace (keeper of Kitty's cat litter)

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMplayer:

He's not a munchkin, he's not a tyre, he's an anti-tank grenade???

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now CuMplayer, I do despise your very existence but credit where credit is due.

That was rather amusing.

If you were an entity of merit I do beleive I would plagerise that line for my sig, as one cannot have too many sigs, the longer the better.

However as you are tinea on the feet of ringworm bacterium, I cannot.

Pity.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMplayer:

He's not a munchkin, he's not a tyre, he's an anti-tank grenade???

WTH is that supposed to mean?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Despite this Beings claim to residing in 'Sweden', I have long suspected him.

I have met Swedes, lad, and you are no Swede.

I think that the concept of 'residency' should be tempered by 'nation of origin/upbringing'

CMPlayer's use of English is disturbingly American. The man is not Swedish, unless at one remove.

Also, he's becoming a loose cannon. Someone take the silly bastard in hand and set him on the path.

Anyone other than an American of questionable intelligence would have translated that phrase (other than correctly, as I did) as:

He's not a crazed Canadian living in Germany and having jolly sing-songs with the neighbou'rs dachshund, he's not sitting in the seats reserved for his betters, he's an Armoured Exploding sort of guy.

CMPlayer is neither Swedish enough to arrive at a correct translation, nor clever enough to properly play on an incorrect translation. Ergo, the bastard's an American.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

CMPlayer's use of English is disturbingly American. The man is not Swedish, unless at one remove.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well that's some pretty astute sleuthing, but I have an alibi. I can prove I'm Swedish. Go into CNN's weather on-line and look at the latest satellite map of Northern Europe. Got it? Okay. See the four puffy clouds near Stockholm? Well, they're right over my head. I can see them from the balcony. Satisfied?

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Originally posted by Pawbroon:

Gentleworms!

The Pool is now over the dreaded 300 posts limit.

What say you we claim that one as our True Home?

There is a melancholy in me, and the prospect of having people starting to fret over the idea that Threads questioning MrPeng might become Cesspools has an appealing quality...

Ah! I have it, me! He is wanting to begin the new Peng Challenge Thread in that place of posting by the confused and sorry Newbie who is asking after answers regardez the Concept of Peng.

Where's my turn, you descendant of D'Artagnan? You heir to Cyrano? Do not force me to Bauhaus the center of your Mothers.

I know you, and your tre chic babe fantastique, Armand Jean du Plessis!

You shall not triumph, while I am able to wield...well, type, anyways, in a manner responsive to your perfidious French ways!

Marcel, lad, The French! How goes it? Where's my bloody turn, you most magnificent of Frogs? Why is dragging a defeat out of you like pulling my own goddamn teeth?

By the by, have you found a good place to display my incisors after our last PBEM? You know I'll be angry if my eye-teeth are just sitting in some jar somewhere, you French.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMplayer:

Well that's some pretty astute sleuthing, but I have an alibi. I can prove I'm Swedish. Go into CNN's weather on-line and look at the latest satellite map of Northern Europe. Got it? Okay. See the four puffy clouds near Stockholm? Well, they're right over my head. I can see them from the balcony. Satisfied?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You dreadful little pillock. I never indicated you weren't living in Sweden, which I never questioned.

I said you weren't Swedish. And you're not. Do the entire community a favour, you git, and admit where you were born and raised.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Thanx!

Hey, on the subject of humour, I nominate Mark IV as the funniest guy around. ...moved to the General Ignorum..

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sometimes, i can't believe what I see in these (constantly renewed) Hallowed Halls.

Mark IV as the funniest guy around?

Excuse me? Mark IV is simply beyond 'funniest guy'. shudder

Mark IV, much as I despise, hate and repudiate the toad, is Witty. And Educated.

Mind, if I coud have the life crushed out of him by assassins, I would.

But bar that, I hope to have him up to my family's cabin in Canada to go fishing.

The opportunities for destroying your enemies at a remote cabin in the Canadian wilderness, on an island miles away from any authority are endless.

Mind, you can also crack tubes on a number of Blues with them, rack up an impressive stringer of Walleyes, and have a truly impressive sing-song with them first, but in the end, you find yourself needing to destroy them.

Unless, of course, they can hit all the right notes on 'I've Been a Wild Rover' while singing with Berli. In which case, their survival is not only guaranteed, it's required.

Gives the rest of you swine something to aim for.

Gods, how I hate Mark IV.

[ 09-01-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Seanachai'd:

Marcel, lad, The French! How goes it? Where's my bloody turn, you most magnificent of Frogs? Why is dragging a defeat out of you like pulling my own goddamn teeth?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now that's a hard one.

I'll try to answer it slowly so that you'd all get the meaning across (especially you Minnesotan!).

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Marcel, lad, The French! How goes it?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well I'm back from weeks of holidaying with the family in the sunny town of Bordeaux where the wine is both plentyful and magnificient unless it's the reverse.

As for the going, I'm sorry to tell you (since you are under the delusion that you're my friend) that I have lost some of my sex drive and most of my will to play since I had been fired from my all wonderful job of Alliance Manager eBusiness.

My job description was to learn what my job description was.

After having understood it all, I was ousted by the very same board of directors who then spent the best of 3 weeks calling me to have me tell them what the job description was again.

Chocolate covered cotton balls anyone?

So Lorak, that company being Swede, chalk one gamey if somewhat under-the-beltish victory for Geier and one loss for me.

As for the Sex Drive, I was kidding.

In France you are not allowed to go through your sexual intercourse with a car.

That must be an American concept...

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Where's my bloody turn, you most magnificent of Frogs?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Most surprisingly, your turn was in my HD which itself was stubbornly ensconced in my computer which in the Grand Scheme of Things was in Paris while I was in Bordeaux.

I know it's a hard one so read it over again.

As for my alleged Magnificience, I say Pfffffftttt!!

I am not a best of breed, I am merely alone.

The French, the English upon which lacking is in the complex quality and utter readability of any of mine posts, are not here the quality of theirs lacking so much bordering the obvious you'd noticed.

But that alone was evident and I do feel the shame of having to point the obvious to you once again.

As the saying goes, when the wise man poke his finger up the fool, the fool is only accutely aware of the finger.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Why is dragging a defeat out of you like pulling my own goddamn teeth?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Because it's entertaining.

Mostly because I have most of my troops nested on the reverse side of the hills meaning you've lost already when I hadn't even started to play.

Because you have no self esteem and considering my tectonic turn processing rate, it's easier for you to drag a defeat than for Peng to cry to Heaven for his victory.

As for your teeth, I lent them to my grand'ma.

At least she knows how to bite properly.

Edited because answering to Senelity always made me feel miserable...

[ 09-01-2001: Message edited by: PawBroon ]

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And now, an update withLars.

NOTHING

Yes, sorry MrSpkr sir, I'd much rather post something interesting about a battle, but alas, am forced to post a lot of uninteresting things about nothing. Try-um-pants hasn't returned a file in a week. Lars is just being fat AND lazy. And I have yet to receive anything from Mensch.

Despite the oratory of Seanachai, sigs are worthless drivel that say nothing to everybody at the click of a mouse button. Perhaps wholly suited for the cesspool since the pool is not a common residence. Unfortunately for me, I must stand by my convictions. Sigs suck!

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Mark IV, much as I despise, hate and repudiate the toad, is Witty. And Educated.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I believe the Marketing Man conjured up the super slogan "An educated consumer is our best customer" for Men's Warehouse. He's very talented like that, being an educated man and all.

But I advise you not to go out in the woods with him alone because he is, as the lawmen say, "armed and dangerous". Being from Detroit, he does not take prisoners either.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Juardis:

[QB]And now, an update withLars.

NOTHING

[QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I’m so sorry you have nothing better to do with your undoubtably worthless life but sit by your computer on a Friday night and wait for e-mail files. So sad. You know, if you went off line, you might get a date.

I, on the other hand, spend Friday nights in one of my favorite activities, Drinking and Carousing. OK, two of my favorite activities.

As soon as the drain bramage pills kick in I shall process your turn and send it to you. I hope I don’t interupt your Saturday morning cartoons.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jar-Ook!:

And now, an update withLars.

OOK!**

**loose translation: And I have yet to receive anything from Mensch.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It seems our local new Librarian is getting to excited again. so my slow minded Orange furry friend let me explain a few things there before you start taking my dried frog pills to calm down.

Berli has to make the map (you with me here?) THEN OGSF makes our troop purchase (stay with me.. look at me.. ok?) now Mr.Bannana breath when that is done, then you'll get something from me so don't bend a smartie ok?

Hey guy's this monkey boy is a bit gujeroo, if you ask me.

Ok Jar-Ook! sit tight keep your self busy like oh I don't know boil your billy or somefink.

btw..

bloodhamstermatch.jpg

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Alright, then, you bloody difficult swine, could you kindly inform the Old Ones, most of whom, I might add, despise you as the alternative to 'me' , what position you feel might be appropriate?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well ... {Joe starts to pout, fully extended lower lip and everything} I kinda LIKED Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool. I think you don't like it just because you were my first conviction AND YOU'RE STILL HOLDING A GRUDGE! Well that and the fact that your Tommies are having a difficult time (about to get much MORE difficult) getting into MY town.

I am, however, willing to entertain proposals ... I'm also willing to entertain young ladies with an incomplete sense of "what's right" but that's another story. The new position would need investigative powers so I can root out (sorry Mace) evil-doers and enforcement powers so that I can punish said evil-doers. CLEARLY the position of "Herald" would afford me little scope for my talents. In short, make me an offer.

As to this incarnation of the thread, the rules I found incomplete and confusing ... much like your own self Seanachai. Further I fear that MadMatt, having not blessed this thread, will descend upon you like a ton of bricks. Finally, I am AMAZED and astounded that you would start a new thread based solely upon the wishes of Panzer Leader ... what has the 'pool become?

Have I mentioned that Stuka is a gamey, non-double blind playing Australian? Thought not.

Joe

OH WAIT! Grand Inquisitor!!! ... that would be perfect ... it has the right medieval touch, AND I COULD TORTURE! Make it so.

NO ONE Expects the Grand Inquisitor!

Edited to accomodate BRAINSTORM

[ 09-01-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

Now just wait a flea-blown kangaroo minute!!!!

I can't recall the voice of doom saying it was time to lock up the previous thread, so I accuse this thread of a false start.

And a message to that SSN that poked his head in and slapped me with a fish (is that a salmon in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?), there are certain standards within the pool. These are:

12378.122.90 alpha) A mighty Kinnigit (me) does not have to lower himself to duel with some ...some... fish monger (mongrel? -> you).

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

A fishmonger? Why don't you pull yourself out of that sheep (or is it a ram this time?) so we can get something streight. I catch the fish. Slimeliners such as yourself process them, and the cannery sells them. Therefore, the cannery is the fishmonger, not me. I find it hard to believe that you haven't sent me a file. I'm assuming that you are afraid to get your gnads stomped on by someone who has played two games against the AI in the last three months. If this is not the case, and you really do want to send me a game, I'm sure one of your fellow poolers will be glad to help you figure out the concept of email.

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Now look you here one hundred and nine goose staffs, the POINT was that Mace is a Knight of the CessPool (if a poor representative of the whole) and as such is simply too high and mighty to play an SSN such as yourself. You may or may not be a fishmonger, a mongfisher or whatever, but you are, without dispute, an SSN. Now ... GO AWAY!

Joe

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