I wanna be sedated by the Peng Challenge

[Berlichtingen]

Lorak!

Scribe thusly:

Mensch (Hey Dan! Why don't you play these worthless conscripts?): Won

Berli (Wow, look at all these tanks! Wish they came with crews): Lost

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And how you can even stand the humiliation is beyond me...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well jshandorf, sometimes ... stuff happens! Witness our game. I would certainly have thought that after my Sdkfz 250/8 of Death had dispatched Three of your AFVs and then beat the snot out of a platoon of your finest that the rest of our fight would be a cakewalk. Alas it is not to be. I would appear that the forces of evil (Jeff's, not to put too fine a point on it) will eventually prevail THROUGH GAMEY ... nah, I can't even say that. See what I mean? Stuff happens.

In other gaming news today:

Berli and I have completed our armor only, view one only test game. I emerged victorious with NO losses while he lost (or bogged) every AFV he had. Since this was a test scenario, however, it will NOT count and the evil one and I are planning another fight shortly. I do recommend the View One only games, however, they're great fun and nice change of pace ... Berli may disagree.

Dalem and I are engaged in a relatively small, night and rain combined forces mish-mash that has barely started. I shall, obviously, win ... you have to wonder why these people bother don't you.

Speedbump (no bolding for serfs) is dying nicely and according to plans. I do like his style however, he dies with panache.

Mace seems to have managed to get his lads well pinned down in our View One infantry game while I have the VL and the stronger position ... and God on my side.

Mensch has managed to sneak in a lucky shot and has nailed one of my AFVs, he seems inordinately proud of this lucky shot. The poor bloody infantry accompanying his Stug did not, unfortunately, fare so well as they scurried into the open and were shredded by my lads. It's early but it's going to be over very soon. Mensch has an interesting strategy (I deny that he has ANY tactics). He has created a tenny-tiny small map, short LOS , 500 pt. QB ME. He obviously hopes that he will get the one lucky shot that often decides these fights. He has ONE lucky shot ... I think he'll need more.

Bauhaus claims that we have a showdown coming! He neglects to mention that the showdown is between a Panther and JgPz IV on his side and ... a crummy Churchill on my side! Some showdown. Nonetheless, I have made great progress in this game and shortly expect his troops to begin their rout.

Seanachai ... Seanachai, Seanachai, Seanachai {sigh}. It's OVER lad, much as you choose to deny the obvious, as often as you might decry the injustice, frequently though you protest that you STILL have the means to resist ... IT'S OVER! Your AFVs are in one of two states, rusting and abandoned or smoking and spewing the occassional round that's cooked off. There is no shame in defeat (unless it's to Peng or Croda of course) and the sooner started the sooner over. I could, of course, force a humiliating global defeat on you at any time, but I prefer to allow you the shred of honor that your surrender will allow.

Goanna and I have reached the end game, only a couple of turns left and the issue is still in doubt. I have courageously ordered my tanks forward to the VL, yes some will die at the hands of his 'schrecks and 'fausts, but HONOR demands that the VL be taken and taken it shall be ... I WILL NOT BE DENIED!

jd has promised another game but has so far failed to follow through. Fine, MY honor is unsullied, I made the offer.

Hakko Ichiu still sounds like a sneeze.

Joe

[jd]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

jd has promised another game but has so far failed to follow through. Fine, MY honor is unsullied, I made the offer.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Fine ya old goat......here I was hoping to at least have a few less games, but since thePengster has graciously lost I shall honor your desire to be abused....I shall forward a setup shortly, or if you'd like any input let me know.....

[ 04-19-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

[Joe Shaw]

jd actually I know the feeling, I have too many going on now too, so don't feel obligated. If, on the other hand, you'd like to try another game I'll shoot you an email with a suggestion.

Joe

[mensch]

well it looks like berli don't like loosing much.. jeez I just had to read it here before firing up my CM.. heh..

now now joe if I grow my own and ask you to smoke with me.. don't start complaining your hearing voices or seeing funny patterns and giggle to no end. sheesh... here have another puff.

[DekeFentle]

joe shaw You SUCK! You don’t slurp, you SUCK. Everything, anything, up that big blow hole of yours it goes. UNBELEIVABLE, your crass, trashed yap just never gives it a rest. Of all the quivering Kinniget’s inhabiting this barnyard of offal ingesting ignoramuses you sit alone at the very bottom drawing in every last drop of scum cast off as waste by the other wooting hillbillies.

If Hoover or any other manufacturer could harness the suckage you put out in even one of your windbag, bore-assed, wanna-be posts, they would corner the market on floor cleaners. You couldn’t find your ass with both hands and a dressing room mirror. Hell you probably can’t tell your hands from your feet (granted there is not that much difference to an infantile simian).

You SUCK! God almighty, it just can’t be said any simpler than that! You could get a bowling ball through a 100m urethral catheter in less time than it takes for an 88mm to get an AP round 1000m down range. Go empty your colostomy bag son, it’s obviously backing up into places it doesn’t belong.

joe shaw = SUCK. Your picture and description are the etymology for the word as listed in Websters. The unmitigated gall you demonstrate in critiquing the erstwhile efforts of others is beyond excuse. Where the hell is your pair boy? When will you entreat us to something other than the sniveling pretension of kinnegithood?

I’m pissing on your back you peasant, but hell you’ll probably just SUCK that right in too huh? Do you have a pair? Do you even know what a pair is? Didn’t think so. Ask you squire to borrow his and maybe I’ll find some time to beat you hard enough to present Hamsters new floor covering for his tree. Just nod your head (I won’t ask, nor would I expect you to be capable of more) and I’ll send a suitable setup.

I’m sure your reply will be filled with it’s normal quota of excuses about how such a lordly pile of sucked up ****e is incapable of understanding that this is a challenge and how it needs to be spelled out in terms a preschooler can comprehend. So give us some more of that slackjawed drool you attempt to pass off as prose oh mighty kinniget and prove once again your parents ignored the results of an amniocentesis.

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.

Edited because I always do.

[ 04-19-2001: Message edited by: DekeFentle ]

[von shrad]

W T !

[Joe Shaw]

[disdain]DekeFentle[/disdain]

Joe

[DekeFentle]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

[disdain]DekeFentle[/disdain]

Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oooooo... So swift so eloquent. Such a sucktoid. I spit at thee, I spit at thee, I spit at thee.

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.

[Berlichtingen]

I must say, DekeFentle, you do seem to have described the essence of Joe Shaw quite nicely

[stevetherat]

So, I've been back for a couple of days and I bet you're wondering why I haven't posted. Well, I'll tell ya. Firing up the ol' purple iMac (no, that was not an analogy) I was confronted by aproximately 415 threads bearing the name of that pin-headed clergy raper. I stood, or rather sat, in front of my Mac starstruck like a myxomaed rabbit facing the mainbeams of a Kenworth 18 wheeler.

By an electronic variation of the Darwinian selection theorem, this thread has emerged as the sole infestation on Page One of this 'land'. I thus submit my first post since returning from the harsh no-mans-land (as all the blokes are faggotts) of Scotland.

Yes, before you ask, I did have a good time. No, I am not glad to be back. Maybe I will continue this facile distraction while I try to find something more interesting to do, like paint my toenails or count the twists in my intestinal tract using nothing more than a magnifying glass and a pen torch.

And while I'm here, what the f has happened to the entrance qualifications? There seems to be a profusion of achnied truants trying (and failing, again) to fit into another socially unacceptable geek clique. Who is in charge here? Shut that f'ing gate before we become infected by some contagion we can only eradicate by a cull. And I speak from experience!

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by von shrad:

W T !<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I take it all is well in the land of Von Scabs?

[Lorak]

Ahh for a little tome update.

Haven't been posting a whole lot because I've became addicted to "Tribes 2"... I know it is sacralege. But at least I do still get all my PBEM turns sent back on time. Actualy all it really menas is I waste more time playing games than normal.

Meeks picture added top-right photo page 4.

Hiram-win

Elvis-loss

Iskander-draw

PeterNZ-draw

Jefe-win

Meeks-loss

Mensch-win

Berli-loss

Jd-win

Peng-loss

Mace-Draw

Mensch-Draw

Auga-win

Seanachai-loss

As for Auga becoming a knight...... not yet.

I am a finiky bitch and my rules are well..made up mostly. But one that I find works well, (even though some thought it was stupid when I made it up), is a minimum of 5 games in the pool to become a knight. In lew of a Squire match.

Now sod off you gits.

Lorak the loathed

[Leeo]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak:

As for Auga becoming a knight...... not yet.

I am a finiky bitch and my rules are well..made up mostly. But one that I find works well, (even though some thought it was stupid when I made it up), is a minimum of 5 games in the pool to become a knight. Lorak the loathed<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

At the fecking least. Water-boy has shown that he sends turns at a rate befitting an ice-age. His posts prove mildly entertaining, but to promote him solely on his record is similar to promoting the Bush because his daddy was boss. Talk about flagrant glad-handing! What a pubescent pile of pig-pilings Perdido purports to play (I've got to quit playing Deke Fentle; It's catching).

Let him wallow further within the Cess. It's the least you can do.

[Ellros]

Well then Lorak, you git yourself, send me a setup of any type so I can work my way into being knighted (or squired by somebody) by your most loathful highness someday.

[MrPeng]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jd:

Fine ya old goat......here I was hoping to at least have a few less games, but since thePengster has graciously lost I shall honor your desire to be abused....I shall forward a setup shortly, or if you'd like any input let me know.....

[ 04-19-2001: Message edited by: jd ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yes, the rat bastard JD got a surrender file from me. Below is an excerpt from personal communication

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

I never at any time felt as if I had a chance once I set my troops up. in the glare of hindsight, a much more practical approach to the game would have been to defend only a small area with just about every thing I had. It was my setup wot did me in. oh and your gamey use of superior tactics, night, fog, machine guns, tanks, infantry, and especially panzerschrecks, when I had only night fog machine guns tanks infantry and bazookas with which to defend myself. I would decry your victory on the board for what it was; the stealng of candy from a baby, the rape of innocence, the deflowring of a young boy too niaeve to know better, but then those rotten bastards would never belive me would they?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

This blasted new bulletin board didn't post the bits I wrote after I quoted JD. Who the hell knows what is going on anymore. I have not yet begun to drink and already there are things happening that defy explitives, or explination or something.

edits are the second try at posting something other than JD's quote, damn him and damn you who are reading this.

HEY! I have an open spot on my dance card!

Scum Sucking Newbies need not apply.

Peng

[ 04-19-2001: Message edited by: MrPeng ]

[Iskander]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

HEY! I have an open spot on my dance card! Scum Sucking Newbies need not apply.

Peng<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

At least you had the decency to fold early to such a noble, wonderful Knee-Git as my Most Just and Gracious Lord, jd! Then again, living in the shadow of Scrotum, Peehay, "giving in" should not be of issue to a light such as yourself... The Land of Peng is also the Land of the Whiskey Rebellion, whence the economic dynamo (no, not you, PNZ) was chased into the hinterlands of the new nation... the hinterlands that would eventually surround me with more distilleries that I could shake -- because of DT's, mind you -- a highball glass at.

Just as the early Federal oppressors removed the honored makers of the Water of Life from upstate PAH!, so too has Peng removed any sense of humanity, decency, decorum and any other thing that starts with "d" that I might think of and post in a "edited by version" of this message.

Tanjit, all, you burden not fit for beasts! you've crawled on your belly like a reptile for the thrice-noble jd, so now you can crawl for his humble Squire! Send a setup, lest I describe in all its awful details what your valley looks like from the air!

[ 04-19-2001: Message edited by: Iskander ]

[MrPeng]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Iskander:

gibberish and rantings and the temerity to demand a set-up

[ 04-19-2001: Message edited by: Iskander ][/QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Can you read?

I am almost certain that I stated that scum sucking newbies need not apply. Had your post had a dram of wit or charm I might have stooped to a set-to with you, but it is clearly time for your drool cup to be drained and I suspect the trephening tube should be unclogged as well (apparently the bit of brain that was lodged in your head is now lodged in the tube). Depart a lot now and disturb me no more with your feverish remarks and idle threats.

Now. I have an opening, and <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>SCUM SUCKING NEWBIES NEED NOT APPLY!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Peng

[David Aitken]

DuckyFondler wrote:

> When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.

Do you type that out every time you post? It's not in your signature, so obviously you make a special effort to put it in. Or maybe it's just a mental 'burp' that slips out every time your brain has spewed forth the torrent of witless inanity that disgraces our thread like a cup of tea spilled embarrassingly onto our collective lap. Presumably after your brain has expended its five minutes per day of constructive activity, you go into a kind of spasm, and your fingers hammer out that little phrase before you automatically press the "Add Reply" button and then slump, drooling, onto the floor to recuperate in time for the next day's post. And no matter how many times you post it, you still fail to realise that it should read "humanity's", as in the possession of humanity, rather than "humanities", being the plural of "humanity". Bah. In my day, all of the Peng Thread regulars had a basic education, and could even identify the business end of a tank within the space of half an hour, without consulting the audience or going 50/50.

[Stuka]

What about phoning a friend?, assuming of course that he has friends.

[Berlichtingen]

Peng!!!!

You worthless wank, it has been awhile since I last put the boot in. You set it up so you have a snowball's chance in hell of winning

[MrPeng]

MrAitken,

Perhaps our young friend means the plural posessive? Oh, wait, no. Then he would need to use the trailing apostrophe as in "humanities'" as in all of the human arts' pain or whatever it is he is on about with the pain and humans and stuff. Frankly (and Shirley) all of this human stuff boggles me - being a Pod and all.

Peng

Have I mentioned recently that the Instant Goddam Smilies flashing in the lower left of the "Post A Reply" screen really piss me off? {I did not Follow PeterNZ's (Peters NZ? or Peter NZies'?) advice and tape paper to my screen as that seemed a bit too much like the blonde who gummed up her monitor with white-out.} I didpoke my left eye out as suggested by Elvis (pods have about 11 left eyes (eyies? eye's? aye-ayes?) so one or two gone with a sharp stick don't matter much to us)and yet there they are annoying the liver (s, 's, ies', eses, eses') out of me. So I just thought I might mention again that they really really really make me mad.

Oh and Aitken, just for you, they also make me want to vomit.

Peng

[MrPeng]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Peng!!!!

You worthless wank, it has been awhile since I last put the boot in. You set it up so you have a snowball's chance in hell of winning<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

So, the Devil Himself speaks. And what? I am supposed to fall all over myself to set up a game and get stomped, simply becuase the evil one says (in a really girly voice) "Oh Pengy, Play time!"

Berli, berlie, berlie's berlises' berlichtingesneessnee's!

Uh, like that is about the lamest challenge I have gotten for months. I am very disappointed in you. You shall have no pie.

Peng

[armornut]

:cool: :mad: :eek:

:confused:

Just for you Peng...You git....

[MrPeng]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by armornut:

Snip

Just for you Peng...You git.... snip<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's been done to death. If I thought you were the one responsible for the damn emoticons in the thing with the thing I would perhaps wrangle up a bit of bile and piss for you. But since you are merely a drop of puss from a wounded flea I will continue to fail to notice that you are.

Peng