Croda Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 Let me tell you all something about your Inner Croda. Don't let this frighten you too badly, but the fact of the matter is that the Inner Croda is highly explosive, and I hold all of the detonators!!! Muahahahahahahahaha!! If those of you who are whipping me like the neighbor's rabid dog don't let up, I shall detonate your Inner Crodas and spread your Holiday Joy all around your neighborhood! Here is a list of people in jeapordy of having their Inner Croda detonated on them: Berli - Cheap sodding bastard detroyed all my armor by turn 2...which is gamey. Everyone knows that real armor always lasted until mid-battle. Jerk. Bastard Shandorfffff - Don't even think about doing in the new game what you did in the old one. If you arty me to death on my approach, I will lose momentum and cohesion and will not be able to slaughter you properly. jdmorse - You will allow my pathetic counter-attack to succeed. I am in no mood for your Pommie Tommys to return fire and injure my last 5 men. MarkIV - Damnable morons sprung their ambush 30 seconds too early, sparing maybe the better part of a platoon. This angers me. Do not take advantage of my men's mistakes again, or I will blow your Inner Croda to smithereens. By the way, most of those men retreated without casualties. Dalem - That minefield angered me. And then to shred my boys with 81mm? Your dog will soon have it's nails plucked and returned to you. And the zook team in the woods blew his load. He dies next. Marlow - Cut it out! Von ****hole - A Jumbo, eh? That would explain things. My moron intel ID'd that Jumbo as a Chaffee. This would explain why my MkIVs (not Tigers you moron) bounced so many shells. Lucky for you I'm almost out of tanks! Anubis - Did you give up? Or get caught in some Ramadanian Rebellion? You are not beating me, but you had better not even consider it. NZer - I will make paste out of you. The good news is that I have my doubts that I'll have to terminate your Inner Croda. Stuka - Like you really needed to call in the damned French Navy... Mensch - I can now see your hamsters. Send the turn you lazy git. I think I'm forgetting someone, but I don't care. My loathing for you all is only surpassed by my fantastic depression at my miraculous ineptitude at this game. ------------------ This Space For Rent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 Every time someone says "I think I'm forgetting someone" its like a Fricken Beacon to me. Because I know its me, that they are forgetting. I like to feed my inner croda fatty foods and then I get him drunk and take advantage of him. I'm planning on dropping him off in Camden so he can collect some change on the streets. ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 Germangirl has sent the file confirming his defeat. No takers in my challenge (with the exception of Hiram whom I feel I will always have some sort or game going with). I understand your fear people. I have been afraid to play with myself lately (down bauhaus). Next time Lorak updates the cesspool score expect to see my record at 10/2/0. If Peter cannot retreive our TCP/IP auto save I have told him to count it as a loss to me so it might be 10/3/0. Pretty heady numbers lads. ------------------ What do we do with a terrible liar? Well, Great liars we send into the clergy. Good liars we groom for politics. Moderate liars we supply with sherrif's badges and guns, and the bad liars, well, we make them heroin whores. So what the hell do we do with the Terrible Liars? Well, it seems we turn them into physicists called "chrisl." Peng Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 I'm alive, ALIVE!!!! Oh the Joy of Electricity. Mary Shelley would be proud of me... After much phone calls, threats and even a friggin' spousing proposal to one of the ladies of the help desk, ADSL is back online here in Paris. For all of you too buggered to check on your maps, Paris is (sort of) in France which ({to date}) makes it French. The cheeky bastards had unplugged the bloody dunno the name and most of us Parisians were ADSLless since thursday. So now you elders and wannabes alike, start to number your thingies for I will deal with you as is my trademark (quite inefficiently but with panache) and will send some turns back in the evening (Marcel Time). ------------------ Here it is with MIME encoding, because you're french... Chrisl on PBEM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon: Something about being back around...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ya, ya, ya, that's all great and all, but... Is YK2 back too? She's become the lone bright spot for me in this 'Pool full of Croda-bashers. And Hiram - I intentionally forgot about you so that I wouldn't have to tell everyone about your clammoring for a cease fire, which I shouldn't give you, seeing as I can now smash you like a mouthy parent at a little-league game. Care for a rematch? ------------------ This Space For Rent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis: No takers in my challenge <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> We all drew straws and I lost. I will send you a setup tonight. Random weather okay? I haven't played in the rain or mist in awhile. Oh, and I guess I hate you or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda: Ya, ya, ya, that's all great and all, but... Is YK2 back too? She's become the lone bright spot for me in this 'Pool full of Croda-bashers. And Hiram - I intentionally forgot about you so that I wouldn't have to tell everyone about your clammoring for a cease fire, which I shouldn't give you, seeing as I can now smash you like a mouthy parent at a little-league game. Care for a rematch? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I miss YK2 too. I also miss being able to stick both of my big toes in my mouth and soiling myself with a big grin on my face. I had no teeth at the time and was always encouraged to smile for mommy. Speaking of excrement and the fetid odor, Croda...you are guaran-fricken-teed a rematch. There will be two hits, me hitting you and you hitting the medicine cabinet for anti-depressants because of the sad and frightening visage you encounter every morning when shaving. Don't even think of threatening to do kinky things to my pets or family you freak of nature. ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: I miss ...Croda...every morning. Edited for content <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hiram, so nice to see that you've finally grown to such a high state of disgust that you're able to taunt instead of crack corny jokes. I shall spare your Inner Croda a little bit longer to subject it to some psychological torture. As for a rematch, why don't you set something up and send it my way. Our game is done once the Cease-Fire is called (granted it was also done on turn 2 when you lost 1/2 your armor, but I digress). Pick some QB settings and send them my way and I'll make you want to slit your throat when shaving in the morning, instead of the nasty thought you appear to be having now. Yech! ------------------ This Space For Rent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda: Rambling about the power derived from his control over other peoples' inner Crodas<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Bollocks to that - following the failure of you stupid and wasteful water bags to assist me in my quest to get my iBook talking to my iMac, I have actually carried out my threat (never let it be said that Germans are not prepared to follow up a mean threat with even meaner action) and dispatched my inner Croda. You had a chance to save him Croda, instead you chose to expose yourself as an ignorant Windows Worshipper. His ears are in the mail to you as we speak, the other remains will be fed to the Komodowarans at Berlin Zoo - if they accept it, they are carrion feeders, but inner Crodas may be too hard to stomach even for them. I have seen vultures tumble into gorges rather than having a bite of inner Crodas, so there. Did I mention that I actually got it running, and that it was not programmed to run in the first place? You may worship me as the lesser God of Macintosh Head-to-Head play. Donations accepted at 0900-ANDREASYOUREASTAR. And Croda, you can take Hiram's inner Croda and shove it. Lorak - if you are still on the ball, strike up three losses for me, one against Ethan, one against Mark IV, one against Elvis. ------------------ Andreas <a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a > Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. [This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 12-11-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy: ...I have actually...expose{d myself ed.}...to the Komodowarans at Berlin Zoo... ...I have seen vultures...shove it. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Just as I came in here to challenge Moriarty (after noticing at Tournament House that he is ranked lower than I (HA!), I see a bunch of gibberish from a run-away German boy who most likely enjoys harboring other run-away German boys. Is this to be constituted as a challenge of some sort? Let me know, because if not, I'll beat up on Moriarty instead. Thought it would be quite fulfilling to send the great Andreas to the Happy Isles, where he can bore Achilles to a second death with his grog-stories of the 22mm javelin and the 58lb short sword. ------------------ This Space For Rent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 GAME UPDATES! Yes, I know you have been on the edge of your seats for this so I will delay no further... Oh.. I just want to extend my hollow and meaningless apology to anyone who was looking for me in the CMHQ chat room this weekend looking for a TCP/IP game. My weekend was actually more busy then expected so if I pissed anyone off with my absence then F'Off you mother lover. Well.. now that I have that out of the way... Cruuuud-da: Damn you and your armor! Bring the hulking beasts forward or at least bring SOMETHING forward! You have yet to claim a flag! Get to it man! BTW nice atry strike of yours. Can I ask.. Have you taken any casualties from it? Hiram: For f*cks sake, man! Send me some turns with regularity! I grow weary of the pregnant pauses between your replies! Get a life or start playing CM! Make up your mind! Seanachai: Ahhh my poor beaten and battered opponent. I could have pity upon you but then I would just be as weak as you. Sorry, old man, gotta put the dagger in it and stop it from wiggling. Herr Butt: Your last StuH is next. Better have him run away! Oh wait! I forgot! It's immobilized. Muahahahahahaha!!! You could always surrender... After I take out your last STuH and plant my Sherman on the VL I will then entertain cease-fire requests. Marlow: You move about the board like a drunken leach. Go. Stop. Go. Stop. Do you REALLY think your bound points are not THAT obvious! Get a move on man! Bring that armor here! While tactically I am gonna crush your bones and grind them into fine dust you may win this one just because you bought a crap load of regulars. Pathetic Amis. Dalem: You sent the setup to my work address you ape. I will send it your way tonight. Moriarty: As I pointed out in the last turn I sent back, your sharpshooter sucks, and in general you SUCK. Am I right in saying that you are actually dropping arty on my lone armored units? Your LOS to them HAS to suck since it drops everywhere but near them. You must have arty to waste. I envy you. Oh yeah.. And one more thing. Cruuud-da and I have started our "BIG" battle. 5,000 freakin points no less. As if I have nothing else better to do for four flippin' hours then deploy troops on a map. I guess I don't since I did it. Enjoy my new SIG. Jeff ------------------ -------------------------------------------------- I once killed a six pack just to watch it die. [This message has been edited by jshandorf (edited 12-11-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy: [bHis ears are in the mail to you as we speak, the other remains will be fed to the Komodowarans at Berlin Zoo - <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I was at the Berlin Zoo back in October. I didn't see any Croda innerus there. But I wondered why one of the most important things to put on the Chimp info plaque was a picture of monkeys humping. I wasn't sure if I was at a zoo or a hairy live sex show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: BTW nice atry strike of yours. Can I ask.. Have you taken any casualties from it? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Those were simply the spotting rounds from my 15 FOs. Hunker down. And I will attempt to spend my 4 hours tonight setting up my 3 battalions of Elite French Paratroopers in a circle around your defenses. ------------------ Coming soon, a sig from PeterNZer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 A funny little thing I wanted to share with you all: I used something I learned from JShandorf to kill two of Croda's armor things. (hope I'm not too technical). Jeff surrounded a tank of mine in a TCPIP game and spanked it soundly with grenades. I was suprised that Croda was susceptible to such antics on my part. Who would have thought? ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis: No takers in my challenge (with the exception of Hiram whom I feel I will always have some sort or game going with. I understand your fear people. I have been afraid to play with myself lately (down bauhaus). <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Elvis ... is that you? Why don't you send a setup my way. I'll give the opportunity to EVEN the score. As I recall it's Moriarty 1, Elvis 0 (you do remember Villers Bocage-Tiger) where my Crommies laid waste to your Wittmann-led Tigers and Panther, don't you?). ------------------ "Moriarty, you suck." -- Dunno, but somebody must've said it somewhere along the line [This message has been edited by Moriarty (edited 12-11-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 What are crommies? Are they the kryptonite for the King of South Philly? ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: What are crommies? Are they the kryptonite for the King of South Philly? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> A Crommie is short for the 75mm version of the British Cromwell medium tank (which by all rights should have been shredded by his Tigers and Panthers). ------------------ "Moriarty, you suck." -- Dunno, but somebody must've said it somewhere along the line Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 Almost 6 months later, and you are still tutoring me, Moriarty. You are A-OK in my book. Now die-alot tm More arty ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon: I'm alive, ALIVE!!!! So now you elders and wannabes alike, start to number your thingies for I will deal with you as is my trademark (quite inefficiently but with panache) and will send some turns back in the evening (Marcel Time). <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Large God! I guess this means I can stop emailing the Paris gaols, emergency rooms, and coroners. Now where it YK2? Hey, everyone, we can all breathe a sigh of relief, the French are back! ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: [bHey, everyone, we can all breathe a sigh of relief, the French are back! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Let me speak for the 'Pool when I say: Is that what that smell is? ------------------ Coming soon, a sig from PeterNZer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Berli - Cheap sodding bastard detroyed all my armor by turn 2...which is gamey. Everyone knows that real armor always lasted until mid-battle. Jerk.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> LOL! Now here's the funny part... he lost his armor to Pz II's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Let me speak for the 'Pool when I say: Is that what that smell is?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You're on time and on target with that one... to bad you can't say the same about your arty in our game Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: Seanachai: Ahhh my poor beaten and battered opponent. I could have pity upon you but then I would just be as weak as you. Sorry, old man, gotta put the dagger in it and stop it from wiggling. Jeff <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That I am losing to you seems as inexplicable to me as the fact that I keep winning against Berli. But there it is. I suspect in both cases that larger, mysterious forces are at work, whose plan is ineffable. Oh, and OGSF you manky Scots git. Do not force me to hold you up to the scorn you do not merely deserve, but have actively worked so hard to merit. Although I did quite like the remark about the teenage girl/parental justification/enemployed boyfriend thing. That was nice. But for the most part, you continue to occupy space on this planet that might be more profitably used by intestinal parasites and ticks, both of whom you'd be looking up at on the evolotionary ladder. Your slanderous attacks on me are the clearest proof, should any be needed, that so much of your brain is occupied with translating your remarks into your assumed Scottish patois, that no synaptic bandwidth is left for any higher intellectual functions, such as recognizing appropriate targets for your gibberish and attempts at challenge. Of course, in your case, an 'appropriate' target won't be easily found, at least until ferrets are capable of email play. And I imagine most of them would decline both your mail and your challenges, as being too vulgar and untutoured, and an affront to small, vicious, rank-smelling creatures everywhere. That said, should you insist on continuing your spittle-spraying in my direction, I shall have to check my rather busy PBEM schedule to see if a slot might be found for you, as you might be light enough to make the team of my opponents... ------------------ Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties, Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices! But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli, All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother! We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more, We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues [This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 12-11-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 I would just like to thank Andreas for correcting the Commissar's technique as the latter joined in the mob bludgeoning me with verbal sticks and other hypothetical hard objects over in the US vs. Russia thread. I shall now proceed to run away and cry. David ------------------ Also I would just like to say to David that your as thick headed as a pull of stout. – jshandorf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted December 11, 2000 Share Posted December 11, 2000 I'm next I would like to thank Andreas for helping me realize my potential as a newbie. He has pointed out, time and again that I am really not worthy to post here and simply am wasting his time by forcing him to read my juvenile ramblings. ------------------ Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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