Marlow

I'm not worried, just disgusted at your cheating gamey bastard ways. Your Mark IV comes waltzing over the hill into an ambush of 2 M36s and a bazooka, and proceeds to zap them all. WTF. You must have sold your soiled little soul to Berli. I hope Mace mistakes your hairy ass for one of his favorite sheep.

First a response to Mr. Marky Mark IVXCLXXV, who posted the following in Croda's stinky little effluent drainage pond: The only thing that would make my wish come true is a level 10 or so earthquake along the San Andreas fault. This would have the threefold benefit of dumping you, Meeks, and possibly that Gamey bastard jd (who stuck me with Canadians in our current battle) into the Pacific, never to be seen again. Frankly, I'm surprised that you are even posting from the Peoples Republic of California. I thought that all of the 'lectricity was turned off. Now as far as having my entrails ripped out by any Cesspool maggots, look at the record as carved into the sacred grapefruit: 4/0/0. With another couple of wins soon to be in hand, and so far only Speedy has even a shot at tarnishing my sterling record. A drunken wombat would present more of a challenge than most of the pathetic inhabitants of the Cesspool. Mr. Stench, I believe that you will find all of my papers in order. Also, despite all the bad things I hear about the Polizei, I am not that concerned. After all, how bad can they be when the German Foreign Minister Fischer can Kick the crap out of them?

OK you degenerates, a couple of questions: 1. Who sent the thread to Germany? Leave it to the Canuckleheads to let the Krauts grab the thing. 2. What the hell is with Croda's hijacking the pool to some other board. If reading this one thread wasn't a big enough time waster already, now we have another pool of Cess to monitor to make sure no libelous slur goes unanswered? Now onto important business. Turns tonight and tomorrow for all of my long suffering opponents. Hopefully I can remember what the hell I was doing in my games.

The King is Dead. Long live the King. Sir Lorak: Marlow - Win (89) Elvis - Looooooooose (11) The only thing running was his Cannucks in Sir rune's "A River Runs Through it." All of the other Chumps I am playing will have to wait until Saturday, as work has unfortunately intruded on CM time. ------------------ This message brought to you by Marlow's Salvage and Wrecking Service, Proud Sponsor of The Cesspool formerly The 'Meeks currently exists as Polar Bear excrement' Memorial Thread

I think we need to set up a cage, and lock Shandorf, Cavscout, the "other" Jeff, and Slapdragon in it until only one remains standing. Also, I couldn't help but notice that Cavscout showed up 12 minutes after the Shandy's first message, JH at 14 minutes, and by the end of the first hour, the fur was flying b/w all four. Holy Crap batman, do these people live on the board? Jeffy, maybe you should consider staying in the pool where you are at least hated with style.

Sounds good to me. I'm on 'K' st. b/w 18th and 19th.

I'm a former Federal Slug, but I still work in the District.

Damnation man, up your Ritalin dose already, having to read your posts once is bad enough. As far as your file goes, after its sanitized, I may take a look at it and consider your offer for battle. Should I lower myself to actually take to the field against your pathetic excuse for soldiers, you may actually stand a chance of lasting as many as ten turns as I am distracted by an ungodly number of PBEMs against your betters (read as everyone and everything higher than an amoebae on the evolutionary scale). ------------------ This message brought to you by Marlow's Salvage and Wrecking Service, Proud Sponsor of The Cesspool formerly The 'Meeks currently exists as Polar Bear excrement' Memorial Thread

Ah, Man of the Wild If only I were a kanigget, I would sponsor you in a heartbeat. The very Idea of ordering an officer, and a Zoomie at that, to do my bidding and cater to my every whim would do wonders for my moral. Instead, I will have to be satisfied with beating you atop of your pointy head with my Newbie-Be-Cool stick. Prepare for a setup. ------------------ This message brought to you by Marlow's Salvage and Wrecking Service, Proud Sponsor of The Cesspool formerly The 'Meeks currently exists as Polar Bear excrement' Memorial Thread [This message has been edited by Marlow (edited 01-23-2001).]

Attention CessPool inmates. In light of the marvelous time I am having in torturing WildMook and Ratboy, I have recently devised another newbie challenge to test the mettle of an new splashers. This one, so cruel and inhumane that I would be loath to inflict it upon an actual human being, so a-historical that it would make a grog's testicles desiccate and drop off, will be perfect to either run the interloper out or to, at the very least, provide some small measure of entertainment to compensate for their annoying presence. Nominees for combat are now being accepted. ------------------ This message brought to you by Marlow's Salvage and Wrecking Service, Proud Sponsor of The Cesspool formerly The 'Meeks currently exists as Polar Bear excrement' Memorial Thread

Well since you are currently incapable of Pissing off, Bugger off instead. ------------------ This message brought to you by Marlow's Salvage and Wrecking Service, Proud Sponsor of The Cesspool formerly The 'Meeks currently exists as Polar Bear excrement' Memorial Thread

Well now, Meeks is out, and Kurtz back in. How the fickle winds of fate do blow. Anyway, assuming my dimwitted charges can actually find there way here, instead of continually hitting the refresh button while in the locked thread, it is time to continue the CM Smackdown between RatTurd and WildThang. That’s right boys and girls, the Duel in the Pool round 2 (and 3). [Ratboy and WildMook approach the center of the ring – DING, DING] On the West side of the Crossroads Ratboy opens with a 37mm across the Marder. That had to hurt. Mildman responds with a quick jab to the MG Jeep. Rat takes the shot without blinking. Some more pathetic and ineffective fire is about it for this side of the battle. On MG Jeep takes off like a bat out of Berli’s in what can charitably be viewed as a recon to the north of the Crossroads where it runs smack dab into the some things with big guns moving south towards the battle. Not good for the Cav. Troopers. Meanwhile, a couple of MG bunkers are reduced by fire from the American tanks sitting to the southwest. To the south of the Crossroads, Rat’s mounted troopers jump out of their tracks, and right into some fire from the rear thanks to the Jerries that they raced past last turn. Fire also erupts from their front, and, caught in a crossfire, the G.I.s don’t know whether to crap or go blind. A second platoon of tracks with infantry aboard go racing past, strait towards the Crossroads VL. A big smity gun opens up and turns one track into so much scrap metal. I hate when that happens. The prognosis doesn’t look good for the rest of the platoon. The gun is about to fire again when …. [DING, DING] Well folks, that’s it for rounds two and three in this scrap. The judges unanimously give the round to Mildman. The loss of the Marder hurt, but we knew that was going to happen at the end of round one. He gets the round because Ratboy has two mech platoons in a bad spot. Stay tuned. ------------------ This message brought to you by Marlow's Salvage and Wrecking Service, Proud Sponsor of The Cesspool formerly The 'Meeks currently exists as Polar Bear excrement' Memorial Thread [This message has been edited by Marlow (edited 01-22-2001).]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Spook: I'd much rather that any "expansion pack" to CMBO would include the US M15/M16 AA halftracks first. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Agreed. This wsa just a little flight of fancy.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Slapdragon: No, I was just thinking about it on the game board. Little Panthers circle it as it spins around in the dirt. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Still, it would have its uses: Major, that strong point up ahead has about a dozen 88mm pillboxes. No problem Capt. Were sending up the T28. Actually, IRRC, wasn't assaulting fortifications its intended use anyway?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Slapdragon: It had a cross country speed of 3.5 miles per hour and took 2 minutes to pivot 180 degrees. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hey, I know it wasn't practical, but that wasn't the point.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Andrew Hedges: I don't think there was an AP round for the T-28; it fired the same round as the Sherm 105. But it would be fun to see the ponderous German uebertanks actually be able to flank something. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Slappy beat me to it, but here goes anyway: The T28 - 1 x 105mm T5E1 L/67 (muzzle velocity 3700fps) M4(105) - 105 mm howitzer (don't know the designation, but a hell of a lot lower) I didn't find anything on the penetration of the T28's gun, but you don't build a 3700fps gun to fire HE. Also, as far as flanking, it has 8 inch side armor, and 4 inch thick skirts. [This message has been edited by Marlow (edited 01-22-2001).]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Shadow 1st Hussars: oh.........dear............god <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I know it was only experimental, but something I would love to see: Haupt. Hans sits in his KingTiger talking to Gunner Gunther: Ja, de Americaners will attack with their little tin can Shermans, and we will shoot the hell out of them and paint more kill rings on the barrel. Over the hill comes the rumble of something big. Gunther: Sir, that doesn't sound like a Sherman. The T28 rumbles into view Hans: What the … Gunner, target 12 O-clock, 600 meters. Fire. The shell bounces off of the 1 foot thick, sloped frontal armor. The T28 then puts a 105mm AP round strait through the front of the KT. Sigh, I can dream can't I.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BlackVoid: In quick battles Hetzer's and Churchills are a very common sight while Tiger's, Stugs and M4 Shermans are vanishingly rare. This tells me that something is not right with the point allocation. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Sorry, but I don't agree. I am currently playing a 5000 pt battle (where there was no prior agreement on force restrictions) and the most common armor on each side are Stugs for the Germans (me) and M4s for the Americans.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: Subject stolen gratuitously from Polar's post in the Brumbar thread. This would be cool, as most of these weapons have been presented in ahistorical light, and BTS could clear things up for us. For everyone who's ever wanted: That honkin' great American 4-tread monster. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ya Baby. The T28:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kitty: And I think you better hurry . . . <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Very Funny! Hiram, is that your cat? * * * Just one quick update: From the banks of the River Styx, the massive Battle-O-Doom continues to rage between my deftly commanded Axis forces, and Capt. Croda ret. (Formerly CO of PT212). So far, much of Detroit's finest steel lie burning, and the bodies of brave GIs litter the riverbanks. I now have a fairly solid bridgehead across the river to the east, while Croda's hold to my side of the western-most bridge is tenuous. Also, jd, Toomai of the Sheep and Shandy Baby are obviously consumed by their fear and loathing, as I have not seen a turn in a while. ------------------ This message brought to you by Marlow's Salvage and Wrecking Service, Proud Sponsor of The Cesspool formerly The 'Meeks currently exists as Polar Bear excrement' Memorial Thread [This message has been edited by Marlow (edited 01-22-2001).]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by stevetherat: Hey Marlon Thread requires more updates on THE battle of squeekers. Get to it big boy! Steve<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The 'Pool will learn of your incompetence when I damn well get around to it. So far (as of last night) I have not received your latest movie file, and I need to watch both yours and RaisedByWolves'movie files so that FOW stays more or less intact. Get with it you small-nut addle-brained pimple on Meek's inner Croda. ------------------ This message brought to you by Marlow's Salvage and Wrecking Service, Proud Sponsor of The Cesspool formerly The 'Meeks currently exists as Polar Bear excrement' Memorial Thread

I personally have little problem with most of the point values for armor in CM (my biggest complaint, would be on the lack of non-TOE infantry for the allies to combat the extensive use by Axis players of SMG equipped German squads to the exclusion of the standard rifle squad, but that is another matter). In particular: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BlackVoid: 1. I'll start with my biggest problem: Churchill VII-VIII These things have 150mm armor and can only be taken out by the long 75 and long 88 mm guns beyond 100m. This means only a few german tanks are capable of killing it. All are more expensive than the Churchill. The Tiger I which is more expensive, cannot take out this beast, neither can the german At guns. The german player does not have good enough mobile assets to attack the Churchill from the flank. Especially because the Churchill's turret is faster than any german tank's or armored car's. I think the cost for the Churchill should be raised. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The Churchill has some advantages; however, its speed, and relatively weak gun justify its cost. Once a Churchill is committed, it is very difficult to extricate it, and shift it to a new position on the field. In contrast, fast vehicles can be used in force at one point of contact, and then, after they have done their job, can be shifted to another spot. This allows for concentration of force at more than one point that is not possible for the Church. Also, it is difficult to use the Churchill to react to enemy threats. If one is in the reserve, it can be difficult to bring it up in time to do any good. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> 2. Tiger Historically the Tiger was a great tank even in 44-45. Villers-Bocage anyone? In CM it suffers. 76 mm guns and 17 pounders usually take it out on the first shot that hits. In the relatively short ranges of CM the Tiger is not worth buying as it is really not much better than a regular PzIV. It's high cost means that in an average QB the axis player can only buy 1. I think 1 tank is no tank. Suggestion: lower the cost of the Tiger, so in a regular battle around 1000pts, the axis player can buy 2 of them. 140 pts for a regular? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The Tiger is about right where it is. It is already cheaper than some Sherman variants. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> 3. Sherman Unless playing by special rules, the normal 75mm Sherman is not worth it. No wonder I have not seen any in the 40+ quick battles I played. It is really a lot worse than an M10 or a Hellcat. It's a better at infantry support, but much worse against armor. Suggestion: the normal Sherman's cost should be lowered to around 100pts for a regular. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The 75mm Sherman is definitely a good buy. For only slightly more than the cost of the best 76mm equipped Sherman (excluding the Jumbo) you can purchase a vanilla M4 and an M18/M36. This essentially gives you two for the price of one, both optimized for their intended roles. As far as not seeing them in QBs, I use them to good effect.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Check6: You schmucks. Yes, I mean ALL of you. I go away for two days and you add four pages of filth to this fetid place. I will have to keep a closer watch in the future. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Croda Here is the other newbie git for Crodaburg. UpChuckie6 vs. JarHead. ------------------ This message brought to you by Marlow's Salvage and Wrecking Service, Proud Sponsor of The Cesspool formerly The 'Meeks currently exists as Polar Bear excrement' Memorial Thread

If you want something to do, you foo, send me the next turn of the Battle-o-Doom. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda: I claim the right to force JarJarHead into a newbie battle against the annoying newbie git of our choosing on the glorious field of battle known as 'Crodaburg.' So shall it be written, so shall it be done. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Also, I'll not have you trying to muscle in on my fight promotion business. Are Guido and the boys going to have to pay you a visit? ------------------ This message brought to you by Marlow's Salvage and Wrecking Service, Proud Sponsor of The Cesspool formerly The 'Meeks currently exists as Polar Bear excrement' Memorial Thread

Ladies and Scumbags, Welcome to Round one of the Duel in the Pool between Mildman and SmellsLikeaRat. For those of you who misplaced your fightcard, this will be a 40 round fight between two ultra-lightweights. The location is Peng’s Crossroads, the intersection of a rail and hardball with another highway. A German garrison is dug in around a small compound at the crossroads, and awaits the assault of an American combined arms force. German Panzergrenadier and heavy tank units are known to be in the area. I will be your commentator for all of the action. In an uncharacteristic display of fairness, I will only describe action visible to both newbie gits. Alright you two, I want a good dirty fight, with hair pulling, eye gouging, butt kickin’ and whatever other low-down underhanded tricks you two feebs can come up with. May the “best” whatever the hell you are win. [Ding, Ding] ratboy opens with mounted attacks (down Bauhaus) from the south and west. Wildman has a Marder sitting in the defense on the west side of his compound, but he looks dazed and confused by the Rat’s opening move. He starts to rotate south, but from the flank, an American armored car appears. Meanwhile the garrison Hamstertruppen manage to shoot up a MG Jeep that is attacking along with the AC. To the south, halftracks charge the probable German positions like weasels on crack. No German fire erupts … This turn. The American Armor (located to the south) holds back, and begins to move to the south west corner of the board. Mortar rounds begin to fall to the south of the crossroads. [Ding, Ding] Back to your corners you animals. Alright, time to go to the Judges. Round one known losses were confined to one American MG Jeep. However, for a bold opening move, and for the impending destruction of the German TD that is about to be wacked, the round goes on points to Stevetherat. Stay tuned ------------------ This message brought to you by Marlow's Salvage and Wrecking Service, Proud Sponsor of The Cesspool formerly The 'Meeks currently exists as Polar Bear excrement' Memorial Thread [This message has been edited by Marlow (edited 01-20-2001).]