37mm

Don't kid yourself you'll accept him as your serf even after he loses, you're lonely see

That's a pretty poor challenge even by the abysmally low standards that this Pengless One Thread has become used to… I suppose it's time for this knight to show you how it's done... *get out his dusty weapon* I wield this double handed weapon rarely nowadays; my peaceful life tends not to require its rigid strength. However let no man say my weapon is blunt for once aroused I’m inclined to use my weapon savagely & with out mercy & now youngsubber I’ve arisen! I now aim my weapon at you! You say you want a setup, I say you want a damn good thrashing… wherever you’ll be my hot lead will surely follow, I’ll shoot at you till I cannot shoot no more & then just to make sure of my score I’ll engage you close up & personal like… now take your weapon & defend yourself ye foolish buggar!

Well it’s without doubt the worst time of the day… you're back from work & waiting for the Peng damn beers to chill. So what do I do, skip over to the waffle thread & homoerotically bond with the wafflers? Do I buggar, I come over to my beloved (well okay tolerated) Peng thread to see what witful delights have been laid. A total bloody waste of time… and my inbox is disappointing too, just that Aussie gloating like a freshly laid lawn when few have so little to gloat about. You’ve all made the worst part of the day even worse… I half expect it was your plan all along

It’s just that aggressive posts are rather rare from you, your usual style seems to be "I’ll bore the bajeezuz out of those mothers’ if it’s the last thing I do". Now you’ve written two aggressively worded posts and both are aimed at none other than I, your dear old former squire, tis very disconcerting.

What’s wrong with you, lost your rock polish?

Normally I would never bless an SSN with a second one of my responses but in this case because I did like the cut of your jib I’ll just say… I look forward to seeing your set up in my inbox (primarily because all the other lazy cesspoolers haven’t bothered)

You know me as little as I know about your spin off threads (a) I’d relish in the destruction of my panzers… seeing it as proof of apocalypso ( I must finish games or how else will I create my miraculous AAR? Even so you failed to challenge me (I think, I kinda stopped reading about halfway through) so you’re probably not my kind of serf… I’ll leave you for someone else, that Scottish git was hunting for one a while back IIRC

Has anyone taken this gigantic Julie as a serf yet? He’s arrogant, don’t know his roightful place, he’s erudi… eridi… he can spell reasonably well & he’s honest enough to admit he’s a frigging waste of space (or a ‘data entry clerk’ as he humorously refers it as)… I like the cut of his jib. Even so Julie, rather than just wasting everyone’s potential drinking time with those thoroughly interesting ‘ posts’ (I’m assuming most here cannot drink & read at the same time of course) why don’t you try offering a challenge to someone… try me for instance, there’s a good little girl

Are any of you buggars awake?

Jules Gumpy, or whoever the feck you are, I'd research* the history of the great Peng Thread Civil War ... Our Justicar here was a really annoying bastiche in that conflict (I know, I know) but the idea of a mad nutter like Meeks being King must've given the shakes to any sane Cesspooler (I know, I know)... I was going to write history of said conflict once but decided to have a few beers instead... one of my better decisions I think * I could've taught you but I'm being a criminally negligent Messiah at the moment (far more fun than being a plain old Messiah).

*cough* *cough* err what about the beginning posts of your former squire, Protégé & all-round top geezer?

Doesn't Elvis just write 'Wankers'... and is that with or without an exclamation mark?

How often must he have heard that?

Oh look we both thought the same thing... now where are my turn's numbnuts?

Didn't someone design them already?

First toads & now frogs… the One Thread has gone all amphibian I’m unsure if this is yet another sign of the coming apocalypso… Oh I haven’t done an AAR for a while so here’s a quick one AAR of ‘88 ways to die near Radziechow’: A Messianic production Sir 37mm the Peng blessed, disowned, tested, tolerated, mocked, belittled, forsaken, absentee and criminally negligent Messiah of the Peng Challenge Thread Versus The Belgian also known as Stickypixie I lost Here's wot done it I hereby declare this Belgian as a thoroughly despicable creature, an opponent so utterly without a sense of honour that he’s in danger of resembling… well he’s beginning to resemble a Frenchman. I can only hope that when he eventually gets round to sending me a second scenario it won’t feature a pak front looking down onto my deployment zone. [ July 12, 2005, 02:53 PM: Message edited by: Sir 37mm ]

Twas a Peng-forsaken swamp actually... as for the weather of this blighted land, it is indeed 'summery' and hence it's bloody awful. I can't wait till it's grey & drizzly again, like it 'OUGHT to be! (i) Is he ever technically awake nowadays? (ii) You do mean 'least worst time' don't you?

I think you'll find that the ball is on your side of the court you 'orribler littler manny-thing.

Is that even possible?

Well ordinarily, there would be NO WAY on earth that I could’ve discovered such an obscure fact… but Google is a marvellous American invention… almost as good as the Maxim Machine gun

I don't understand... you're in America & you're travelling to America... what's the problem (or indeed) news?

I distinctly remember stickypiss having a birthday a few months ago, which is odd, as I read somewhere that you can’t have two birthdays a year... unless of course he’s some kind of Belgian royalty

IF I get the reference, are you asking whether or not Nidan1 is a genetically superior uber-human sent back by futuristic people to save present day mankind & bless us with their magical powers? Are we talking about the same nu-Yoika?

I & my entourage charge through the Cesspool, barging our way through the… err cess 37mm comes across the Belgian “You still around chuck? Hope you’ve been busy saving yourself and all” 37mm comes across Joe “Hi old partner” 37mm slaps Joe on the back, manly style like… 37mm ignores the audible cracking … “Hope you’ve been keeping them all in… err ship shape… ness” 37mm carries on & bumps into the local 'special-friend' 4v2 blow “Oh lookee who it isn’t? You’ve put on weight….” 37mm’s entourage of super intelligent uber-monkeys clears a way through the detritus towards the neglected cave… Along the way 37mm meets some of the dearest ladies… *Slap* 37mm heads towards the cave entrance with a cheeky grin on his face… the smitten ladies call out “you’ve returned” “You know what’s the best thing about being back?” *The smitten ladies coo… NO* “Absolutely nothing” *37mm gives the ladies a wink & turns back into his cave* PS Which of you shmucks is fighting me & why?

Has it been 40 days yet?