37mm

I don't detest him indeed I count Peng as more than a friend. Meanwhile that Commonsense was a great laugh we need more of his sort! Sure he was a bit rough around the edges, he needed to be smoothed out (there’s nothing that a good rubbing wouldn’t sort my dear old granny used to say), given teaching in the ‘fine art’, made to do a proper days work (perhaps making delicate pastries) and brought up by the fine principles of carrot & stick (that’s where you hit someone with a stick & shove a carrot where the sun don’t shine… all very effective). After a few moons had passed I’m sure we’d have ourselves a fine knight in the making… perhaps even a possible aide de Justicar?

*In my sweetest voice * "I'll help you 37mm" *Ties both of 37mm arms behind his back * Quick, someone pass that other rope and tie up his legs while I get rid of his keyboard! *Throws 37mms keyboard into the CESSPOOL and smirks as it sinks to the bottom* That should keep him quiet for a while..... </font>

You just don’t get it do you Belgian? I know I can beat you I’m just trying to tie my own arm behind my own back, give me a bit of a challenge… THAT is why your Peng forsaken battlefield is chock full of burning wrecks from end to end. Any other FANTASTICAL reason you possess can buggar off back to Rotterdam

Well I’m sorry ‘former liege’ about HAVING to butt in but your own attacks against me recently resemble an assault by stoned, faceted gemstone wielding pacifists… it seems so cruel to knock your men down & yet it must be done

Yeah I was probably being silly but the background for this game does seem a little one sided...

Oh yippee... I can't wait to surround innocent villages & massacre the occupants Reminds me, I wonder when BFC will do Combat Mission: Rwanda?

Poodle, yeah that’s about the right level of insult I’d say. Much more insulting than a Toad is a Poodle. I think we can all agree a Poodle has very little Pengfulness… Then again a poodle can be seen as a bit of a prima Dona, a bit of a yappy annoying git that although harmless does ‘tug’ on some subconscious belief that all is not roight. You know I’m not so sure about Poodle as an insult now… it’s might be best to go with my recommendation for calling me an iguana... what d'ya say you STINKING PIG?... no Pigs are actually quite intelligent... okay... what d'ya say you FLAMING SPARROW?... then again they sound quite pretty (& I suppose if they were burning it'd look pretty cool), no still wont do... ya know its harder than it looks this insulting via animal names lark [ February 15, 2005, 07:59 AM: Message edited by: 37mm ]

Toad, toad! Are you losing your touch? Why a toad is a marvellous creature & certainly worthy of the Cesspool… they are stout, hardy, warty, poisonous & probably cunning. If you’re going to insult me, do it properly… call me a… an iguana or sumfink

I’d usually be running his bath about now… so unless he’s gotten himself a new squire he’s probably running one all on his ownsome… oh dear

37mm crawls out from his cave… ahh I’ve come to realise that being the Messiah of the Peng challenge thread does NOT grant me any special healing powers (Peng have ye Forsaken I?). Even now I’m unable to speak as my throat is so sore but yet I can still type… Praise be! And yet what have I missed? My Liege’s birthday! The shameful closing of YET ANOTHER of one of my threads (is that some kind of record)! And 4v2blowmeup actually attempting to act (finally, does it not enlighten our spirits to know that even the most ‘mundane’ of us can still ‘learn’) like he has a pair! So perhaps it was for the best, my illness & all… Praise be!

Why would MrPeng want to give away a bottle of good scotch? S.H. has issued a fatwa against Peng? I demand an end to this Peng thing PLEASE! PLEASE! Change the Peng topic! What the **** is Peng? What is PENG? Peng? Who's this Peng guy? All I know is that, like, we need more sticky bombs Why was my post on Peng locked? Does Peng Own an NSX Who the hell is Peng? Enough with Peng!!! Perfect for Peng! The US lobby in the Peng Thread Define 'Peng' Before I Go Nuts Death of Peng The PENG LMG: Not Sold Separately..and why does it have the runs? Peng threads and searching I _am_ sedated by the Peng thread Howmany "Pengs" doesittaketo "Peng" outtheforum? In How Many Peng Threads Will Mensch Obsess About Losing in 3 Turns? I always wanted to start my own PENG thread... How much PENG is too much PENG??? Wo ist Peng? Peng goes to Sweden Bride of Peng I Started A New Peng Thread And All I got Was This Lousy Hunk Of Cess..... What is the Peng thread? Maple Leaf Up!! The PENG THREAD goes North!!! A Thousand Points of Peng, A Kindler, More Gentler Cess Time to lock the Peng thread and start a new one Time to Lock the Forum and Concentrate on Peng Thread Frequently Asked Questions answered by cesspoolers from the Peng Thread Peng thread shows up on dod forums! Ladders, peng, opponents, that sort of thing. PENG!...no just help a poor newbie please A Thousand Years of Peng.... Peng in Paradise Frequently Asked Questions answered by cesspoolers from the Peng Thread™ v. 2 Peng Lobotomitimized!!! GET WELL SOON PENG! Peng Hospitalized!!!! Forum Woes - alt.bored.nolife.pengthread - The Only Answer TAKING THE BLOODY PENG THREAD DOWNUNDER Pengs muther served in brothels in WWII: Lets dispell the myth she did not WILL THE REAL PENG THREAD PLEASE STAND UP......... Has anybody seen MrPeng? Peng I make your backup systematic Peng thread hits the big time? The Peng Thread...is it worth reading? Wake for the Peng Thread, please wear a hat. BBS Upgraded, Peng Thread utterly stupid! Hey, is the Peng thread busted? Multiple posts on the really long .Peng thread The Peng Thread Your Guess? When Peng, ITOCP hits 4763 Posts! Peng makes me hurl..How bout u? I Blame Peng For This JP Mess!!!!!! Taking bets on when the Peng Thread hits 2000! The TRUTH about Mr Peng! Alright, what's it with Peng and smilies? The History of Mr. Peng (The formative years) Mr. Peng is wrong. [ February 10, 2005, 10:58 AM: Message edited by: 37mm ]

Artistic creativity oh most foul one

A long time? Are we talking about years of confusion? sigh it doesn't seem right to end that confusion (after all did I not say 'this place is of no help whatsoever') but here goes... Yes there are Ladies who lack danglies but you're also correct about the possibilities for confusion. I personally lay off dalem somewhat as I see him as an honorary lady. On another note I think its high time that the Justicar start using his authority righteously, the matter of concern? Meek's incessant use of that Peng awful UNENGLISH accent

BOOT!!! My that felt good Anyway unethical is as unethical does or that's what my grandma used to say BOOT!!! Just thought i'd do it again

http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=30&t=003566 Come this way oh drunken lord... and I suppose the rest of you should come too. Lets see if THIS one is closed

Stop! Let me guess you’ve come in here because you keep on losing your Tiger tanks to hidden infantry or because your men STILL won’t charge a few piddly machine guns or some other dumbass tactical conundrum. You need help, you need comment from the grogs & helpful articles by JasonC & just by accident you’ve come in here… seeking help Am I right? Well let me tell you now… SOD OFF! Did he just tell me to… Yes I told you to SOD OFF! This place is of no help to anybody whatsoever & is damn proud of it too (or certainly not ashamed anyways). We’re all here to challenge, to mock, to amuse, to unleash drunken insults & painful songs, to entertain & sometimes simply to vomit. Interested? You’ll need a profile with an email address & location! Why? Because we say so You’ll need to NOT be a bigoted dumbass! Why? Because we say so. You’ll need to respect the ladies of this here place! Why? Because your never regions should always be protected (if not specifically mentioned)… oh & because we say so If being witty all seems too much to you then join the 'wafflers' instead

Oh dear, dear, dear is this what I HAVE TO come back to? The Oddstralian-‘I might lose a Tiger’-Noba & v42blowme fighting (and I use the word in the most Pengless sense) for the roight to be the ‘master of half-assed comebacks’. 370ml’s! Do you have any idea how much piss you have to deal with when you’re a squire to Boo? I mean really the number of times I had to clean all those sheets it was really something …. And you expect me to get pissed off by a little over half a pint of that weak water which the ‘False Gawd’ Seanachai manages to produce? Hah! I scoff at you. Now back onto the real issue, which isn’t that Peng forsaken Nepal crap that’s driven the Justicar into yet another fit of Penglessness, no it’s the whole ‘master of half-assed comebacks’ business. I propose a yearly awards ceremony for the Peng thread… something like ‘most pointless contribution to the thread’ (I suspect Stickypiss will get that one), ‘most outstanding achievement in the area of Peng excellence’ (I don’t want to blow my own horn here), ‘most Cesslike artworkossity of the MBT’ (Patchy deserves that one for managing to make me look EVEN MORE attractive) and such like… Well what d’ya thinks? [ February 08, 2005, 04:26 PM: Message edited by: 37mm ]

*Walks down the aisle to thunderous applause, spots stickypiss in the crowd, BOOT's the little fecker in the groin & then moves on* *Takes his place at the podium & calls for silence, the cesspool immediately pipes down* Well, well, well it has been FAR too long in its coming if I may say so but nonetheless if a an overdue due is more deserving (unlike that fecking V42belowpar who doesn’t deserve aught but a brick in the face) then doesn't that mean the due is WORTH more than if that due we’re, say, less deserving? I would like to thank several people for this ‘honour’… My liege obviously for putting up with me for so long & for not booting me TOO hard. The Great House of (sigh) JD Morse (sigh) for taking me in & granting me with the power & renown that any member of that house (yes even the Belgian) automatically possesses. My opponent’s; stickypiss (the very definition of filthy, pointless & European but at least he’s not v42below), Nidan1 (he ain’t that bad really... I mean lets put it this way at least he ain't that total pig swill drinking feck head v42belowpar)), the Oddstralian Noba (considering you’ve been so inept at handling a platoon of Tigers perhaps a COMPANY of tigers would be more appropriate for next time) and various others who I can't be bothered to mention (they certainly don't include v42below). I suppose my blessed father Peng deserves some credit… But let’s not detract from the star of the show for too long ey? Most of all I thank myself for being so fecking great (and having enough stomach to put up with that fecking v42blowpar who’d normally be enough to put off ANY Messiah). We all have a burden, a place, a destiny… some were meant to be great leaders, some great scientists or poets, writers, thinkers or… lawyers (snicker). I wasn’t meant for any of THOSE things…I was born for one thing & one thing only… to be a Knight of the Cesspool. Is that a great achievement? Probably not Do the terrorists care? Perhaps not Will I ever appear on the cover of some rag of a magazine, the public asking did he? Most unlikely Will my name be forgotten in the great span of eternity… NEVER, for as long as Peng continues, I will continue (the only question this raises is does that mean that 4v2farbelow will also continue for fecking ever)! So most of all I would like to thank eternity itself for spawning me & allowing me to take my place amongst HISTORIES greats… Alexander Hannibal Caesar Napoleon Peng 37mm …? *An explosion of clapping, cheering, cat calls & wolf whistles erupts from the crowd... even the 'smeg for brains' v42bastard cheers*

in reference to Her Majesty, surely that is enough to leave him a lowly Squire for at least eternity? </font>

It’s winter on your half of the planet? You should get ya asses over here where summer has just begun…

The return of the feck… This is the Tazzywhatsitmothherfeckker who challenged me first so many moons ago... strange thing is this feckless little smear of an oddstralian ****e actually managed to bash away the finest challenge I’ve yet heard (one day it may go into the ‘challenges of history’ on Joe ‘the bog standard fare’ Shaw’swebsite). I also notice that the Tzzywhatsitmotherfecker has managed to smoke out a comment or two by Peng himself (I’d prostate myself before you my lord but my back is sore)… If I was a knight (which I am on SOME level & would be definitely if it wasn’t for an UNHOLY alliance of BOO, JOE & expensive digital cameranessosityness) I’d make him a serf… heck how bad can he be?

Joe, quit

Choir boys, Peng, Sheep if there is a more holy combination then I don't know about it... Mace is a renowned lover of secular sheep & has little to do with holy sheep. Nightwatch was the Justicars serf, apparently like an Irish version of Aging Piddle or something

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I could equally ask... Can you my dear lady send a TRUE knight a long owed turn? I however do not ask that question mostly because I understand the difficulties you must undergo partnered to the 'model-man' (of course I’m not saying that Hiram is a model of a man, a man capable of being a model, or indeed even a man who is small, plastic, pointless & only really liked by other freaks like dalem… hold on what am I not saying again?) who is REALLY to blame for my lack of turns.